This page is an archive for Wookieepedia:Quote of the Day and is no longer live.
Archive
Real-life
A. C. Crispin
"The fans like it when the authors are conscientious about details in their favorite universe."
―A. C. Crispin[src]
Aaron Allston
- Aaron Allston: "Well, we haven't really worked out exactly how the series ends, but I'm – I'm looking for the happy ending, really."
- Troy Denning: "
No! I want the tragic ending." - ―Authors Aaron Allston and Troy Denning, before starting an author's lightsaber duel[src]
- Fisher: "How much research was necessary before you began to write?"
- Allston: "A lot. I wish I'd had time to do more. I read every Star Wars technical manual I could get my hands on, plus Stackpole's novels, Zahn's novels, other novels in which Wedge Antilles and Rogue Squadron make appearances, comic books, and several of West End's Star Wars game supplements. I watched the movie trilogy repeatedly. I played the X-Wing computer game. I bought eight of the Action Fleet toys and used them for measurements and estimations of their performance in atmosphere. I read books on aircraft carrier life and pilot survival."
- ―Jim Fisher interviews Aaron Allston[src]
"Well, no one on the writing team is absolutely in love with Boba Fett this time around."
―Aaron Allston, asked whether Boba Fett would play a major role in Fate of the Jedi[src]
- Interviewer: "If you chose multi-player on XVT and went head to head with Mike Stackpole, what starfighter would you choose and who would win?"
- Allston: "If I were engaged in such a competition, I'd hire a ringer, a player who really loves that sort of game, and give him enough information to pretend to be me. Then I'd adjourn to let him wreak havoc. Knowing Mike, though, he'd probably do the same to me. So Mike and I would be in our respective offices working, and two hard-core flight sim nuts would be blasting away at one another, each convinced that the other writer was pretty hot stuff. That's good for everybody, because two gamers would be paid to play while Mike and I would acquire these phenomenal reputations."
- ―Aaron Allston, on a potential X-wing vs. TIE Fighter contest with Michael A. Stackpole[src]
"Obviously, the bad guys have more fashion sense in the Star Wars universe, and Lando didn't have enough screen time to, well, bring Balance to the Fashion."
―Aaron Allston[src]
"There will be pages. Lots and lots of pages. Most of the pages will have letters on them, and a vast majority of these letters will be in the Roman alphabet."
―Aaron Allston, regarding the future of the Star Wars: Legacy of the Force novel series
―Aaron Allston, regarding the future of the Star Wars: Legacy of the Force novel series
- Allston: "My memory is dim, but didn't Wedge as a teen witness the murder of both his parents, just like Batman?"
- Stackpole: "Wedge's parents died when fueling station exploded."
- ―Aaron Allston and Michael A. Stackpole, conversing on Twitter[src]
Abel G. Peña
"I think my folks sat me down to watch A New Hope on VHS when I was very young, and that was the beginning of the end."
―Abel G. Peña, on how he became interested in Star Wars[src]
- "Sweet Sith, I think I'm in love with my own creation."
- ―Abel G. Peña, talking about Ailyn Vel in his blog
"I love the Expanded Universe, the Star Wars world of spin-off literature, with all its quirks born of various audience and generational desires and publishing practicalities. Bring me your Crystal Stars, Holiday Specials, and Glove of Darth Vaders! The EU's imperfection makes it feel real."
―Abel G. Peña, a fan of the Star Wars saga in all its myriad forms[src]
"Wookieepedia is a lavish and stunning homage to the Star Wars pop cultural phenomenon. Thanks to its professional appearance, the scope of its content, the quality of its writers and diligence of its administrators, Wookieepedia has become a valuable resource to fans both casual and obsessive, as well as to Star Wars authors. It's becoming the new nexus for everyone who wants to know as much as Yoda about that galaxy far, far away."
―Abel G. Peña praising Wookieepedia, the Star Wars wiki
―Abel G. Peña praising Wookieepedia, the Star Wars wiki
"I attribute my successful infiltration of various parts of the Star Wars universe to a few things. First, and perhaps foremost, I'm simply thoroughly familiar with the gamut of Star Wars lore—new and old, different media, the good, the bad, and the Hutt pornography."
―Abel G. Peña, in an interview with New Jedi Order Encyclopedia
―Abel G. Peña, in an interview with New Jedi Order Encyclopedia
Alex McCrindle
- "And may the Force go with you!"
- ―Alex McCrindle (Jan Dodonna)
Alex Newborn
"Star Wars Insider attempted to interview Korman in 2003 for the 25th anniversary of the Holiday Special; the phone call with his agent was unintentionally hilarious, as the confused man kept marveling, "Harvey was in Star Wars? Harvey!?"
―Alex Newborn, discussing Harvey Korman's roles in The Star Wars Holiday Special
―Alex Newborn, discussing Harvey Korman's roles in The Star Wars Holiday Special
Anthony Daniels
"It's thirty years since I met George in an office in London. I didn't want to meet him. I didn't want to play a robot in a low-budget sci-fi movie. Can you imagine how I would have felt today being a shelf stacker in a supermarket, going ‘I could have been in that movie!’ So I guess the Force was with me."
―Anthony Daniels, in an interview with the BBC[src]
"I asked George if he could please read Artoo's beeps to me while I was performing. 'Sure,' said George. So I'd say my lines, and after a long pause, George would go, 'Er, beep, beep, beep,' in this very flat voice. Well, I fired George from that job."
―Anthony Daniels
―Anthony Daniels
Bea Arthur
- Arthur: "It was a wonderful time, but I had no idea it was even a part of the whole Star Wars thing."
- Mercury: "Well, that song was great."
- Arthur: "Well, thanks. It's odd. I've gotten so many letters and requests for autographed photos from that thing. I just remember singing to bunch of people with funny heads."
- ―Bea Arthur, interviewed by the Portland Mercury about her role in The Star Wars Holiday Special[src]
Carrie Fisher
"I have other generals, I shoot guns and behave like a soldier. It's almost a male sort of thing. Well, I am the only girl in an all-male-made movie. Sometimes I would say to them, 'How about a big cooking scene, baking some space food, or how about me sewing my costume back together? A shopping scene, maybe a mall planet? Give me a girl friend and we'll talk about how cute Han is.' There are no moments where Leia is stereotypically female."
―Carrie Fisher, about Leia in Starlog (May 1983)[src]
"Forty-three years ago, George Lucas ruined my life. And I mean that in the nicest possible way."
―Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking
―Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking
"Not to mention, you had the unmitigated gall to let that chick, the new girl that plays my mother, Queen Amadillo or whatever her name is – she wears a new hairstyle and outfit practically every time she walks through a door! I mean, I bet she even got to wear a bra, even though you told me I couldn't because there was no underwear in space!"
―Carrie Fisher, roasting George Lucas[src]
"The last line in the script was that the Princess is way down the hall and she is staggeringly beautiful. I crossed off the 'ly' and 'beautiful' and felt this new wording more approached what I would bring to the character."
―Carrie Fisher, on playing Princess Leia in Star Wars
―Carrie Fisher, on playing Princess Leia in Star Wars
"Harrison was the rogue and Mark was the ingenue and the wise old man. […] And I was not a damsel in distress. I was a distressing damsel."
―Carrie Fisher, on playing Princess Leia in Star Wars
―Carrie Fisher, on playing Princess Leia in Star Wars
"Originally, I was known as the 'the girl'. During my first day on the set, someone described the next scene I was in as, 'The girl crossed the room and exits stage left. The camera operator will have to pan to keep her in frame.' I asked whether I was to be 'the girl' or 'the camera operator'. They got the idea. I'm now an honorary camera operator."
―Carrie Fisher, on filming Star Wars
―Carrie Fisher, on filming Star Wars
"I asked George [Lucas] for some sort of drinking problem. I said, 'Leia lost her parents and planet in the first film and in the second a very close friend lost his hand and her first boyfriend was frozen. By the third movie, I must be totally exhausted. I've been chased for who knows how many years.' I figure I'm ready to go, 'Hey, guys, I can't do this anymore. I'm going to get my hair done. You handle it.' And I book myself into a convent."
―Carrie Fisher on her character's role in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi
―Carrie Fisher on her character's role in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi
Christopher Lee
"I couldn't do the running. I was eighty! I said to George Lucas, ‘I can do the swordfighting, but I can't run!’"
―Christopher Lee, in an interview with Total Film[src]
"I remember when it came out, I wrote [Peter Cushing] a letter saying 'What on earth is a Grand Moff? And why is he called Tarkin?' He wrote back and said, 'I have no idea!'"
―Christopher Lee
―Christopher Lee
Daniel Erickson
"In KOTOR, you were restricted in what you could say because you got dark side points for being snarky. Han Solo would be an evil Sith Lord under that system."
―Daniel Erickson, on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
―Daniel Erickson, on Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Daniel Wallace
"Wait a minute — I've written more than a million words about Star Wars, I have a weakness for naming new Supreme Chancellors at the drop of a hat, and I maintain a blog devoted to Captain Panaka … and you guys are surprised I look like a geek?"
―Daniel Wallace, responding to ribbing from Wookieepedians about his appearance[src]
"For those who don't know, Galaxy of Fear was a series of young adult books by John Whitman that tied into the teen-horror genre popularized by such authors as R.L. Stine. And for something that seems like a product of its time I thought they were a lot of fun. But I'd be nervous if I were given the opportunity to write the sequel, since every single chapter of those books had to end with a cliffhanger. It was the law. A chapter would finish with 'Tash stepped off the spaceship and heard a blood-curdling scream!' Then you'd read the next chapter and it would say 'But apparently it was just a bird.'"
―Daniel Wallace, on the Galaxy of Fear books[src]
"The Nintendo 64 game Shadows of the Empire had some fun highlights including a bunch of rampaging wampas as you escaped from Echo Base. To create additional enemies on the cheap, LucasArts copied the wampa model, colored it brown, and set it down on the rocky trails of Gall. This was the first variant in what would evolve into the 'swamp wampa' in Mysteries of the Sith. I love it when the Expanded Universe gets enriched through incidental cost-cutting."
―Daniel Wallace
―Daniel Wallace
Dave Filoni
"One thing that I thought was kind of 'inside' was the scene in Children of the Force where Anakin and Ahsoka go to talk to Chancellor Palpatine, and Palpatine stops her at the door and doesn't let her into his office. I thought it was a little tongue-in-cheek; the fans know that he's the Sith Lord corrupting Anakin Skywalker, but it's also for the fans who are perplexed by the question of why Ahsoka is there. Palpatine is dismissive of her, which I thought was kind of funny. I thought that they'd be glad that he dissed her so directly, so we did that very intentionally."
―Dave Filoni discusses his favorite in-joke in Star Wars: The Clone Wars
―Dave Filoni discusses his favorite in-joke in Star Wars: The Clone Wars
"I always get worried about disrupting continuity. I seem to get blamed for that a lot."
―Dave Filoni[src]
Drew Karpyshyn
- "Star Wars fans—we are legion!"
- ―Drew Karpyshyn
Elaine Cunningham
"It's an adventure story with a fantasy heart and a science fiction wardrobe."
―Elaine Cunningham, when asked in what genre she considers Star Wars to be[src]
Ewan McGregor
"I used to know all the lines. Me and my mates used to watch it and then do the whole thing, take different parts. I liked being Princess Leia the best."
―Ewan McGregor, on watching Star Wars as a child[src]
Femi Taylor
"I had no idea what it was I was auditioning for. They were quite secretive, and they said they wanted me to come in my swimwear. I thought, 'I hope this isn't a blue movie!'
―Femi Taylor discusses her thoughts on auditioning for Oola in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi
―Femi Taylor discusses her thoughts on auditioning for Oola in Star Wars: Episode VI Return of the Jedi
Frank Klepacki
- "Greetings, this is Urai Fen. A recent addition to the Zann Consortium is Frank Klepacki. He's recorded so much f****** V.O. that he's about to lose his mind."
- ―Frank Klepacki as Urai Fen, in a recorded outtake
George Lucas
- George Lucas quotes, now in excess of 10, have been moved to a sub-page:
Wookieepedia:Quote of the Day/Archive/George Lucas
Harrison Ford
"And to be fair, I did say to George, 'George, you can type this shit, but you can't say it!' And that's the year he gets nominated for an Oscar for Best Screenplay."
―Harrison Ford, on the making of the first Star Wars film
―Harrison Ford, on the making of the first Star Wars film
- Journalist: "What is the difference between Han Solo and Indiana Jones?"
- Ford: "I see a great difference between Han Solo and Indiana Jones. I think Indiana Jones is a much more complex character and provides the opportunity to explore a lot more of a character's personality and nature. I just thought that Han Solo was a little dumb and not self-aware."
- Journalist: "He's a space cowboy!"
- Ford: "But there are cowboys and there are cowboys. If he's a space cowboy, he ain't from Brokeback Mountain."
- Journalist: "What about Chewie?"
- Ford: "What are you, French?"
- ―Harrison Ford and a French Journalist[src]
- Conan: "They made this Star Wars Christmas special, and the tape's been passed around for years, and the rumor is that Lucas is trying to suppress it, cause none of you look happy while you're making this thing." [Ford squirms uncomfortably] "And I thought I'd just ask you about it. Do you remember making this Christmas special? I think it was 1978." [Ford shakes head] "No? You don't remember it? You have no memory of this incident?"
Ford: [shakes head] "No, none whatsoever." - Conan: "No memory of it at all?"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "So it doesn't—"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "—exist in your—"
- Ford: "No, it doesn't exist!"
- Conan: "It doesn't exist?"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "What if I were to tell you that I had a little piece of tape right now?" [Ford lunges at Conan, strangles him] "No!"
- ―Conan O'Brien, interviewing Harrison Ford about The Star Wars Holiday Special[src]
- "There was no future in dead-Han toys."
- ―Harrison Ford's thoughts on why George Lucas vetoed his idea to have Han Solo killed in Return of the Jedi
Ian Liston
"I play a stormtrooper, in a walker, who's trying to shoot down my own bloody plane."
―Ian Liston, the actor who portrays Wes Janson, on another role he assumed in Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
―Ian Liston, the actor who portrays Wes Janson, on another role he assumed in Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
Ian McDiarmid
"I've been trying to find a redeeming feature to Palpatine, and the only one I've got so far is that he's clearly a patron of the arts because he goes to the opera."
―Ian McDiarmid, on the evil of his role[src]
"I was once chased through a tube station. They were saying, 'You've got to stop, you're the Emperor, you've got to stop.' And I managed to run faster than them. They only wanted my autograph—it wasn't anything sinister. I thought, 'This is ridiculous—why didn't I just stop and give my autograph and move on?' But it had gone too far by then."
―Ian McDiarmid
―Ian McDiarmid
"I was surprised how much butt, in fact, I do kick in this movie."
―Ian McDiarmid, in an interview with Sci-Fi Weekly on Revenge of the Sith[src]
Irvin Kershner
- Irvin Kershner: "You know that Darth Vader's your father."
- Mark Hamill: "Wha!"
- ―Irvin Kershner recalls when he told Mark Hamill his true role before shooting this scene
"The audience had to know that Luke had feeling in his hand. That way… when he puts his arm around Leia, it isn't creepy."
―Irvin Kershner, on why Luke Skywalker was shown to feel pain in his hand in the closing scene of Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
―Irvin Kershner, on why Luke Skywalker was shown to feel pain in his hand in the closing scene of Star Wars: Episode V The Empire Strikes Back
Jason Fry
"New endnotes, y'all. This one is packed: early Empire, how I learned what minimalism/maximalism meant, and even some new canonical ship lengths. I'm timing you, Wookieepedia."
―Jason Fry, after posting endnotes for The Essential Guide to Warfare
―Jason Fry, after posting endnotes for The Essential Guide to Warfare
"I still think the Lusankya erupting from underneath the cityscape of Coruscant might be the goofiest thing in the entire EU—the only way it could be goofier would be if her bridge crew were Jaxxon, Reist and Waru. I mean, really—how would any of that have worked?"
―Jason Fry
―Jason Fry
Jeremy Bulloch
- "As you know, Boba Fett doesn't sweat."
- ―Jeremy Bulloch, at Star Wars Weekends, when asked what the inside of Boba Fett's helmet smelled like
John Jackson Miller
"Not counting Dooku (who loses something more important) there are quite a lot of limbs sacrificed to lightsabers — you could almost build your own Jedi from all the spare parts!"
―John Jackson Miller[src]
"Did you notice they let the woman with no eyes drive? ‘Sorry, officer. He was in my Force Sight Blind Spot.’"
―John Jackson Miller[src]
"Jarael thanks the judges and credits the win to her speech about wanting to achieve world peace by whacking people up side the head with big electrically charged battle staffs!"
―John Jackson Miller, on Jarael being crowned Miss Star Wars 2009[src]
"When I began writing Star Wars, I'd been working long enough to know that there was no such thing as a throwaway character. Every character with the tiniest mention wound up on Wookieepedia."
―John Jackson Miller, on naming characters for the Knights of the Old Republic comics[src]
"Actually, if you start on the KOTOR side and keep reading Rebellion upside-down, it lists all of Palpatine's old girlfriends. And the KOTOR side upside-down? A recipe for delicious devil's-food cake..."
―John Jackson Miller, on the Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic/Rebellion flip-book[src]
"#1 rejected name for last KOTOR comics storyline: 'We'll Always Have Taris'"
―John Jackson Miller, via Twitter[src]
"The results of Treece's raids [against the Sith] generally pleased the Chancellor. The morale boost came cheaply; all ships and munitions involved came from private contributions. It was a much different reaction than Jedi Knight Revan had received, centuries earlier, in his own extracurricular efforts against the Mandalorians. But the circumstances, Kerra recalled, were different. The Sith were evil; the Mandalorians just had an attitude problem."
―Jedi Knight Kerra Holt compares the actions of Vannar Treece and Revan
―Jedi Knight Kerra Holt compares the actions of Vannar Treece and Revan
John Ostrander
"Actually, whenever I have a character for which I don't yet have a name, I refer to them as 'Bob'. I think Cade was once 'Bob'. Bob Skywalker. I still like it."
―John Ostrander[src]
Leland Chee
"In the end, my ongoing vision is that as long as there's the Holocron, Star Wars will not reboot."
―Leland Chee, "What is the Holocron?" on the The Official Star Wars Blog
―Leland Chee, "What is the Holocron?" on the The Official Star Wars Blog
Mark Hamill
"When I read the third one, I mostly was upset with the cavalier attitude towards Boba Fett. He had been built up as this monumental bounty hunter, and he... just flies away. I thought that was going to be a major revelation, off comes the helmet, oh my God, it's my mother! She's a double agent working for the good guys, who knows."
―Mark Hamill, in an interview with CNN[src]
- Irvin Kershner: "You know that Darth Vader's your father."
- Mark Hamill: "Wha!"
- ―Irvin Kershner recalls when he told Mark Hamill his true role before shooting this scene
"I heard I got the part, and they said they were gonna send the script over, and I'll never forget to this day. I sat down and started reading this thing, and I went 'Wait a minute, I think... was Harrison the Luke guy or was I the Luke guy? And I think... I think I was the Luke guy. I was the Luke guy! This is about me!'"
―Mark Hamill, on MTV/Entertainment Tonight[src]
- Jane Pauley: "Is it a secret, uh, which of – of the two of you, um, wins the love of Princess Leia?"
- Mark Hamill: "I think it's best to keep as many surprises as possible. It's like your sister telling you what you're getting for Christmas."
- ―Jane Pauley, interviewing Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford on Today in 1980[src]
- Mark Hamill: "You traitors! George, how could you do that?"
- George Lucas: "It's a business, kid."
- ―Mark Hamill confronts George Lucas about Lucasfilm Ltd.'s involvement with Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan[src]
Matthew Stover
"Every time I start one of these projects, they send me, uh, their current version of the classified Jedi Holocron Database, which is basically a searchable database of everything that has ever happened in any Star Wars related work. So I've got that and I've got the books and I've got Wookieepedia, because, you know, there's – there's a lot of information in there, and it's a lot easier to find in some ways."
―Matthew Stover, in an interview with swactionnews.com[src]
Michael A. Stackpole
"Michael A. Stackpole is an award-winning game and computer game designer who was born in 1957 and hates writing these 'About the Author' pieces because they force him to refer to himself in the third person. Being neither a Gand nor a Presidential candidate, he finds this awkward. Perhaps if he had not grown up in a normal family, enjoying an utterly normal life, this third person thing wouldn't bother him, but then he also thinks it's better to be known for what he's written and done than for any vaguely interesting bits of nonsense about his past."
―Michael A. Stackpole goes on a bit of a rant on the "About the Author" page in X-Wing: The Bacta War
―Michael A. Stackpole goes on a bit of a rant on the "About the Author" page in X-Wing: The Bacta War
- Allston: "My memory is dim, but didn't Wedge as a teen witness the murder of both his parents, just like Batman?"
- Stackpole: "Wedge's parents died when fueling station exploded."
- ―Aaron Allston and Michael A. Stackpole, conversing on Twitter[src]
Nilo Rodis-Jamero
"There was an afternoon where we were all gathered, months after Ralph [McQuarrie] actually stopped coming, and George [Lucas] made a point of thanking Ralph in front of everyone. Ralph stood up and said, 'I was one of the first people that George hired,' because Ralph is an unbelievably humble man. George got up and said, 'No, you were the first one.'"
―Nilo Rodis-Jamero, on Ralph McQuarrie's retirement from the production of Return of the Jedi
―Nilo Rodis-Jamero, on Ralph McQuarrie's retirement from the production of Return of the Jedi
Pablo Hidalgo
"It has all the hallmarks of a sequel—bigger, more expensive, more explosive, and not quite finished."
―Pablo Hidalgo, comparing the Second Death Star to the first[src]
"They were nihilists. I mean, say what you will about the tenets of the Galactic Empire, at least it's an ethos."
―Pablo Hidalgo, about the Shawken Device, paraphrasing The Big Lebowski[src]
"Banks in our universe spend a lot trying to convince us that they care. In Star Wars, they can bombard your planet from orbit."
―Pablo Hidalgo, commenting on Banking Clan Frigates
―Pablo Hidalgo, commenting on Banking Clan Frigates
"There is no chin under Kyle Katarn's beard. There is only another fist."
―Pablo Hidalgo, commenting on Kyle Katarn
―Pablo Hidalgo, commenting on Kyle Katarn
"The number of people who met Yoda while he was hiding in the swamps before Luke found him is distressingly high. Way to keep hidden there, Master."
―Pablo Hidalgo, when asked about what surprised him during his research for The Essential Reader's Companion
―Pablo Hidalgo, when asked about what surprised him during his research for The Essential Reader's Companion
"Etiquette dictates that to avoid upset feelings or arguments, there are three things you never discuss at the dinner table: religion, politics, and the lengths of Super Star Destroyers."
―Pablo Hidalgo
―Pablo Hidalgo
Paul Dini
"Broadcast Standards and Practices has pretty strange bugaboos. […] They want to do everything conceivable they can to take what they perceive as the harmful edge off this kind of entertainment. So, if it means making a laser sound basically like a laser but like a 'less deadlier' laser, that's their attitude."
―Star Wars Droids associate producer and story editor Paul Dini laments the perils of Saturday-morning cartoons
―Star Wars Droids associate producer and story editor Paul Dini laments the perils of Saturday-morning cartoons
Peter Mayhew
"I put that mask on, and Chewie transformed me. I transformed. The attitude was different. The walk was different. Chewie turned on."
―Peter Mayhew
―Peter Mayhew
"After Empire, I got a big shoebox of letters. Most of them were from six or seven-year-olds. There was one I thought was really funny, from the Mid-West. She was complaining that Wookiees don't wear clothes. This was serious—'Don't you think it's disgusting that Wookiees don't wear clothes? What's going to happen about that?!'"
―Peter Mayhew on fan mail after the release of The Empire Strikes Back
―Peter Mayhew on fan mail after the release of The Empire Strikes Back
"It was known as 'Bigfoot Country.' So I got strict instructions not to wander off in costume. Can you imagine it? I'm in full costume, going through the undergrowth, and some guy jumps up with a shotgun and—BANG!—'I got Bigfoot!'"
―Peter Mayhew discusses the dangers of being in a Wookiee costume while filming the Endor scenes of Return of the Jedi in the forests of northern California
―Peter Mayhew discusses the dangers of being in a Wookiee costume while filming the Endor scenes of Return of the Jedi in the forests of northern California
Richard Marquand
"Artoo is the only one who really gets on my nerves as an actor. I don't mean Kenny [Baker], I mean Artoo-Detoo. He is a pig. He is terrible. He's impossible. He decides to take the day off, so he takes the day off. He won't put his third leg down, so he doesn't put his third leg down. Or suddenly, in the middle of a thing, he'll just, zip, walk away. He shouldn't be allowed on any set."
―Director Richard Marquand talks of troubles with the remote-controlled R2-D2 props used while filming Return of the Jedi
―Director Richard Marquand talks of troubles with the remote-controlled R2-D2 props used while filming Return of the Jedi
Samuel L. Jackson
"I went to the first screening of Star Wars on 44th Street and Times Square in New York City and I was totally blown away. I was on drugs too. I was pretty herbed out and the screen started going…" [he makes a wavy gesture with his hands] "'Oh, yes! This was going to be great!' I've seen it eight or nine times since. In fact, I'm trying to find George Lucas now so I can be in his prequel."
―Samuel L. Jackson, reflecting on the first time he saw Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope
―Samuel L. Jackson, reflecting on the first time he saw Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope
Shelly Shapiro
"The early system of tracking continuity was for a question to be called out (by phone or by yelling down the room or corridor) in the hope that someone would remember and have an answer—very high tech, as you can see."
―Shelly Shapiro, about the days before the Holocron continuity database
―Shelly Shapiro, about the days before the Holocron continuity database
StarWars.com (uncredited)
- "Jacen Solo is a jerk."
- ―StarWars.com, telling it like it is
"The Wookieepedia gang translated their front page into Aurebesh. Which means only Star Wars characters, hardcore fans and Ben Burtt can decipher it."
―StarWars.com blog takes note of Wookieepedia's 2008 April Fool's Day gag[src]
"What do you call a seasonal novelty album with an unusual concept that also features the first commercial recording of a hot rock star-to-be? Try Christmas in the Stars: Star Wars Christmas Album. How can you beat a lyric like 'Everyone will have a cookie, I bought extra for the Wookiee?'"
―StarWars.com Cargo Bay entry for Christmas in the Stars
―StarWars.com Cargo Bay entry for Christmas in the Stars
Tim Rose
- Interviewer: "When puppeteering Salacious Crumb, you had to interact with Carrie Fisher. How did she react to Salacious and you off-camera?"
- Tim Rose: "Well, let me start by saying that I was a young man at the time, about 25 years old. Carrie wasn't much older and with that costume she wore in Jabba's palace it wasn't hard to get the blood flowing."
- ―Star Wars Interviews speaks to Tim Rose[src]
Timothy Zahn
"I have to rely on the editors and folks at Lucasfilm, the Holocron, Wookieepedia, and things like that, to keep track of what people are doing. You also have to remember books are being written even as you're writing a book, so I really do have to rely on other people to keep me up to date!"
―Author Timothy Zahn, on how he keeps up to date with the Star Wars universe
―Author Timothy Zahn, on how he keeps up to date with the Star Wars universe
"If by some miracle Disney *does* want my input on the project, I *will* be on the next flight to California. Heck, I'll charter a plane if I have to."
―Timothy Zahn, responding to fans' questions on whether the upcoming sequel trilogy will draw elements from the Thrawn Trilogy
―Timothy Zahn, responding to fans' questions on whether the upcoming sequel trilogy will draw elements from the Thrawn Trilogy
Toby Philpott
"All we could see was a grainy 'security camera' shot of Jabba on tiny monitors hanging on our chests, which made stuff hard. Dave [Barclay] told me he had to put Jabba's right hand on Leia's shoulder, but heard her say, quite calmly, 'That's not my shoulder.'"
―Toby Philpott describes the difficulties of controlling the Jabba the Hutt puppet in Return of the Jedi
―Toby Philpott describes the difficulties of controlling the Jabba the Hutt puppet in Return of the Jedi
Troy Denning
- Aaron Allston: "Well, we haven't really worked out exactly how the series ends, but I'm – I'm looking for the happy ending, really."
- Troy Denning: "
No! I want the tragic ending." - ―Authors Aaron Allston and Troy Denning, before starting an author's lightsaber duel[src]
Warwick Davis
"I also think that when it comes to Star Wars Battlefront, I'm the only person who doesn't shoot the Ewoks when playing it! Instead I'll run past an Ewok, wave to him and say good morning!"
―Warwick Davis[src]
Anonymous
- "They're lightsabers, not mood rings."
- ―An Episode III crew member on whether the lightsaber color of a fallen Jedi automatically turns red
References in other media
Associated Press
- "Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo"
- ―Associated Press, headline about Korean high-wire artists crossing Han River
Austin Powers
"If you see only one movie this summer, see Star Wars. But if you see two movies, see Austin Powers!"
―Movie trailer for Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me[src]
- Dr. Evil: "Ow! You shot me, you a-hole!"
- Austin Powers: "And now I'm going to kill you."
- Dr. Evil: "Before you do that… ow… know this." [deep voice] "Austin, I am your father."
- Austin Powers: "Really?"
Dr. Evil: "No, not really. I can't back that up." - ―Dr. Evil and Austin Powers[src]
Back to the Future
"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain."
―Crispin Glover, as George McFly, in Back to the Future
―Crispin Glover, as George McFly, in Back to the Future
The Big Bang Theory
- Leonard: "Hey, Sheldon, clear your weekend. Starting Saturday morning, Star Wars marathon."
- Sheldon: "Movies or video games? Or board games, or trading card games, or Legos, or dress-up, or comic books, or dramatic readings of novelizations? Yes to all!"
- ―Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper, on The Big Bang Theory[src]
"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended."
―Dr. Sheldon Cooper, in a 2008 episode of The Big Bang Theory
―Dr. Sheldon Cooper, in a 2008 episode of The Big Bang Theory
Cheers
"You know, Darth Vader cannot be Luke Skywalker's father. They don't have the same last name."
―Woody Boyd, on Cheers, after Dr. Crane spoils Empire Strikes Back
―Woody Boyd, on Cheers, after Dr. Crane spoils Empire Strikes Back
Christmas in the Stars
"What can you get a Wookiee for Christmas when he already owns a comb?"
―Santa's droids, singing on the Christmas in the Stars album
―Santa's droids, singing on the Christmas in the Stars album
- Droid #1: "Do we have the data on what to get the Wookiee this year? He already has a comb, you know."
- Droid #2: "Yes. We have finally computed the perfect gift. Here it is. A brush."
- Droid #1: "Perfect."
- ―Santa's droids, in "Merry, Merry Christmas" from Christmas in the Stars[src]
Clerks II
"All right look, there's only one return, okay, and it ain't 'of the King,' it's 'of the Jedi.'"
―Randal Graves, Clerks II
―Randal Graves, Clerks II
Coming to America
- McDowell: "I'll tell him you're here."
- King Jaffe: "No. Do not alert him to my presence. I shall deal with him myself."
- ―James Earl Jones, echoing Darth Vader as King Jaffe Joffer in Coming to America[src]
Commercials
- Yoda: "Mmm. That cheeseburger, you do not want."
Customer: [mind-tricked] "I do not want that cheeseburger." - Yoda: "Those fries, give Yoda."
Customer: "Here, have my fries."
Yoda: "Your drink, desire you not."
Customer: [snaps out of it] "The Diet Pepsi... I do want."
Yoda: "Want you not."
Customer: "Do—"
Yoda: "Not want!" - ―Yoda, using mind tricks in a diner, in Pepsi commercial[src]
Ctrl+Alt+Del (webcomic)
"Look at me with a straight face and say midichlorians. You can't, can you? As if it wasn't bad enough that he decided to give Darth Vader, one of the most feared men in the galaxy, a nickname like 'Annie.' You can't bloody well be frightened of a guy when in the back of your mind you're thinking that under all that armor he's a little red-headed orphan girl that's likely to burst out into song any minute."
―Lucas from Ctrl+Alt+Delete
―Lucas from Ctrl+Alt+Delete
Darths & Droids
- GM: "Jedi is your character class. You're sort of warriors with arcane abilities—"
- Qui-Gon: "Like fighter/mages?"
GM: "—fighting for justice."
Obi-Wan: "Ah, paladins."
GM: "No. You draw upon the power of the Force—"
Qui-Gon: "The Force?"
GM: "The Force is an energy field—"
Obi-Wan: "Energy? But energy is force times distance."
Qui-Gon: "And 'power of the force' would be distance times the derivative with respect to time."
GM: <sigh> "You're monks."
Qui-Gon: "Got it."
Obi-Wan: "But monks can't wield—"
Qui-Gon: "Shut up. He'll take away our laser swords!" - ―Star Wars gaming session role-played in Darths & Droids[src]
- Qui-Gon: "Hey Obi-Wan, when we land, you stay put and I'll find you."
- 'Obi-Wan: "Okay."
GM: "You're in different ships; he can't hear you."
Qui-Gon: "HEY OBI-WAN! WHEN WE—"
GM: "No.'" - ―Star Wars gaming session role-played in Darths & Droids[src]
- Panaka: "We're not going anywhere unless you can free the pilots."
- Obi-Wan: "We should sneak around behind the droids."
- Qui-Gon: "I have a better idea. Right, which one of you is in charge?"
- Droid Commander: "State your business."
- Qui-Gon: "Let these men go. We're taking them to Croissant."
- Panaka: "Coruscant."
- Qui-Gon: "What he said."
- Droid Commander: "Under what authority?"
- Qui-Gon: "Don't you recognise me? I'm your commander!"
- Droid Commander: "...My commander is a droid."
- Qui-Gon: "I'm undercover."
- Droid Commander: "What is your serial number?"
- Qui-Gon: "It's...uh...I roll for Bluff!"
- GM: "There aren't enough dice in the world. They draw their weapons."
- Obi-Wan: "I don't know about 'better', but it was certainly more entertaining."
- ―Qui-Gon attempts to steal the Queen's ship in Darths & Droids: Episode I: The Phantasmal Malevolence[src]
- Elan: "You wanna buy some death sticks?"
- Obi-Wan: "You don't want to sell me death sticks."
- Elan: "I don't wanna sell you death sticks."
- Obi-Wan: "You want to go home and rethink your life."
- Elan: "I wanna go home and rethink my life."
- GM: "Nice roleplaying."
- Obi-Wan: "You want to leave your death sticks with me."
- Elan: "I wanna leave my death sticks with you."
- Obi-Wan: "Anyone want to buy some death sticks?"
- GM: "Hey!"
- ―Parody of Episode II's death stick scene in Darths & Droids[src]
- Hija: "There goes another one."
- Bolvan: "Shoot it! Shoot it!"
- Hija: "But it has no life forms, sir."
- Bolvan: "Oh right... because there's no such things as sentient metallic beings with no life readings in this universe..."
- ―Lieutenant Hija and Gunnery Captain Bolvan, as played in Darths & Droids[src]
Defeat the Dark Side
"At age 65, armed with nothing more than determination, a bucket of chicken and a secret recipe, Colonel Harland Sanders started KFC and had the whole universe lickin' its fingers a few years later. His reputation as a force to be reckoned with makes him a natural when it comes to showing the Dark Side who's boss. Any Battle Droid messing with the Colonel had better watch out, because this time, he's serving up a bucket full of pain."
―Colonel Sanders' biography from Defeat the Dark Side
―Colonel Sanders' biography from Defeat the Dark Side
Family Guy
"Oh, no way. I will give you all my Star Wars guys if it is. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait! Except Boba Fett. No matter how sure I am, I never risk the Fett man."
―Peter Griffin
―Peter Griffin
- Lois: "We're gonna get pulverized out here!"
- Peter: "Look, we got four or five of the main characters on this ship. I think we'll be fine."
- ―Lois Griffin (as Leia Organa) and Peter Griffin (as Han Solo) in Family Guy
Futurama
"A billion robot lives are about to be extinguished! Oh, the Jedis are going to feel this one!"
―Professor Farnsworth in Futurama
―Professor Farnsworth in Futurama
"We're hopelessly outgunned. The Force is with us, but that's about it."
―President of Earth Richard Nixon in Futurama: Bender's Big Score
―President of Earth Richard Nixon in Futurama: Bender's Big Score
G4tv
"Sweet, suicide bomber Ewoks: my journey towards the dark side is now complete. I hear they get 72 virgin Wookiees when they die."
―G4TV review of Forces of Corruption[src]
How I Met Your Mother
- Barney: "… because new is always better."
- Ted: "Mm-hmm? And this theory applies to everything?"
- Barney: "Everything."
- Ted: "So, those new Star Wars movies… those are better than the old ones?"
- Barney: "…" [realizing his mistake] "Yeah. The first three barely mention the intricacies of intergalactic trade law."
- ―Barney Stinson and Ted Mosby of TV's How I Met Your Mother[src]
Irregular Webcomic!
- Yoda: "Most interesting. How can this be? A thought?"
- Jedi child: "Master, because someone erased it from the archive memory."
Obi-Wan: "But how can that be?"
Jedi child: "It says right here. 'The Jedi Archive FactWiki: The Free Encyclopedia that any Force-sensitive can edit.'" - ―Irregular Webcomic! No. 1928[src]
"How did I get into this mess? I really don't know how. We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life. What a desolate place this is. Why, I haven't seen a place this bleak since... since..." [twin suns become visible] "Oh bloody hell! Not Tatooine again."
―C-3PO, in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Stormtrooper: "Lord Vader, we've discovered where the old Jedi Master hid your son."
- Vader: "Of all the backwater worlds, nondescript wilderness refuges, diabolically isolated sanctuaries, and devious boltholes in the entire galaxy, where did that cunning devil conceal him?"
Stormtrooper: "He was living on your home planet, with your stepbrother!"
Vader: "Fiendish, Obi-Wan!" - ―Stormtrooper, revealing to Darth Vader the location of his son in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Tarkin: "Since you are reluctant to provide us with the location of the Rebel base, I have chosen to test this station's destructive power on your home planet of Alderaan."
- Leia: "No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly...."
Tarkin: "Don't give me that! This is the special DVD edition! Alderaan fires first!" - ―Grand Moff Tarkin and Princess Leia in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Motti: "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden fort..."
- Vader: "Did you say data tapes? We have the ability to destroy a planet and tape is the best backup medium we have?"
- ―Admiral Motti and Darth Vader in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Luke: "These guys can't shoot for peanuts. Back on Tatooine you said, 'Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.' Was that just a scam to get me to come to Alderaan?"
- Obi-Wan: "Their shooting is precise... from a certain point of view."
Luke: "That's just Jedi code for, 'I lied my butt off,' isn't it?" - ―Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi, in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Obi-Wan: "You must learn the ways of the Force if you're to come with me to Alderaan."
- Luke: "I must learn the ways of the Force if I'm to go with you to Alderaan."
Obi-Wan: "Oh man, what sort of weak-minded fool are you? I wasn't even using the Jedi Mind Trick." - ―Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker in Irregular Webcomic![src]
- Motti: "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden fort..."
- Vader: "Did you say data tapes? We have the ability to destroy a planet and tape is the best backup medium we have?"
- ―Admiral Motti and Darth Vader in Irregular Webcomic![src]
The Jedi Hunter
- Boba Fett: "I dedicated my life to tracking down the wily Mace Windu, easily identifiable by his distinctive purple lightsaber. It was the cumulation of my career. Mace is one mean mother—"
- Terri Fett: "Ah, shut your mouth."
- Boba Fett: "I'm just talkin' about Mace."
- ―Boba Fett, in The Jedi Hunter, introducing footage of him fighting Mace Windu[src]
Justice League
- Model Citizen: "You don't want to fight me. You want to help me."
- Flash: "I don't want to fight you, I want to..." [snaps out of mind control] "Hey, this is like the Jedi mind trick!"
- Model Citizen: "This is not like the Jedi mind trick."
- Flash: "This is not like the Jedi mind trick."
- ―The Flash, succumbing to Model Citizen's mind control in Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths[src]
LEGO Star Wars: The Yoda Chronicles
"DARTH SIDIOUS' plot to create an army of SITH CLONES has failed, along with his other plot to clone the one CLONE the SITH did clone into CLONES cloned from that CLONE.
I have no idea what I just read. Let's just say the bad guys are losing."
―A confused narrator
I have no idea what I just read. Let's just say the bad guys are losing."
―A confused narrator
Live Free or Die Hard
- Warlock: "Are you a fan of the Fett?"
- McClane: "Nah, I've always been more of a Star Wars fan."
- ―John McClane inspects the Warlock's Boba Fett standee in Live Free or Die Hard[src]
Looney Tunes: Back in Action
- "Eh... what's up, Darth?"
- ―Bugs Bunny, to Marvin the Martian in Looney Tunes: Back in Action
The Muppet Show
- Luke: "Listen, pal, we're on a mission, and there's no way we're gonna get involved in any third-rate variety show."
- Kermit: "
Second-rate variety show." - ―Luke Skywalker stumbles onto The Muppet Show[src]
- Luke: [bursts into room, blaster in hand] "Remember Alderaan! I'll search upstairs! C-3PO, you cover that exit!" [runs upstairs]
- C-3PO: "What should I cover it in?"
- Luke: "Down with the Empire!" [runs off]
- Kermit: "Uh, um... what was that?"
- C-3PO: "That was my master, Luke Skywalker. I'll try to calm him down. But you know how strangely excitable these humans are."
- Kermit: "Yeah... They're a strange race, all right."
- ―Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, on The Muppet Show[src]
- C-3PO: "Excuse me, Master Luke, but what is this strange world we've come to?"
- Luke: "Beats me, C-3PO. Seems we've landed on some sort of 'Comedy Variety Show' planet."
- ―Luke Skywalker and C-3PO arrive on The Muppet Show[src]
MythBusters
"Many people say about duct tape that, well, it's like the Force. It's got a light side and a dark side, and it binds the whole universe together."
―Adam Savage, during the MythBusters "Duct Tape Hour"
―Adam Savage, during the MythBusters "Duct Tape Hour"
NewsRadio
"WNYX news time, 1247 mark 59. Tragedy struck today in Sector 9, as rebel terrorists blew up the Death Star, killing thousands. The Rebel Alliance, a fringe group of Anti-Empire fanatics, has claimed responsibility for the terrorist act. Fortunately, Lord Vader escaped without harm. Our hearts go out to the families of the victims."
―Catherine, from NewsRadio episode "Space"
―Catherine, from NewsRadio episode "Space"
Nostalgia Critic
"This special has never re-aired, and to this day George Lucas has apparently gone out of his way to make sure that nobody sees it. So just to recap: this is the guy who said this is okay and this is okay, which means this is the project that he was personally ashamed of. I'm gonna go over that again: okay, okay, personally ashamed of. There are not enough toilets in the world to contain the amount of shit-spewing fear that I am going through right now!"
―The Nostalgia Critic begins his review of The Star Wars Holiday Special
―The Nostalgia Critic begins his review of The Star Wars Holiday Special
The Onion
"Lucasfilm intern discovers only job responsibility is fact-checking Wookiepedia [sic]"
―Onion News Network news crawl[src]
Penny Arcade
- Tycho: "I'm not sure that a guy with Endor bedsheets is the right man to review this game."
- Gabe: "Technically, it's Endor's forest moon."
- Tycho: "This is what I'm talking about. You said that milk just tastes better when you drink it out of a Star Wars cup."
- Gabe: "Well, I'm no scientist. It could also have been the wookiee straw."
- ―Tycho and Gabe from Penny Arcade reviewing Rogue Squadron II: Rogue Leader[src]
- Jedi Gabe: "You seem more evil today. Are you evil?"
- Jedi Tycho: "Evil? No, no. Why I just helped a tiny Jawa across the street!" [fire blazes] "And into a furnace!
" - ―Gabe and Tycho from Penny Arcade noticing KOTOR's Dark Side appearance changes[src]
"This is the last New Jedi Order book... I wonder what's next for Star Wars? Maybe a revitalized Empire? Maybe the Sith!"
―Jonathan Gabriel, Penny Arcade November 24, 2003[src]
- Kara: "Did you just flirt with that Twi'lek?"
- Gabe: "A little bit, yeah. Why?"
- Kara: "My character is standing right next to you."
- Gabe: "It's not like we're together."
- Kara: "Are you kidding me? We've been together since Tython. We met at the academy! We've known each other since we were padawans."
- Gabe: "Oh my God. Did you think our characters were dating?"
- Kara: "DID YOU THINK THEY WEREN'T?"
- ―Gabe and his wife team up to play Star Wars: The Old Republic in Penny Arcade[src]
A Prairie Home Companion
- Darth Vader: "I know what you're getting for Christmas."
- Luke Skywalker: "How do you know?"
- Darth Vader: "I felt your presents."
- ―A Christmas joke from A Prairie Home Companion[src]
Public service announcements
"Smoking does dreadful things to your lungs, and it is very bad for your heart." [Artoo beeps] "Well, I know I don't have one, but humans do, and I think we should set a good example."
―C-3PO, lecturing R2-D2 on the evils of smoking in PSA[src]
"When friends drink too much, even in galaxies far, far away, friends don't let friends drive drunk."
―Star Wars cantina-themed public service announcement[src]
PVP Online
- Officer: "The Emperor has fallen down the main shaft again and has lodged himself in the main transformer."
- Stormtrooper: "
Again? How does he keep managing to do this?"
Officer: "Don't ask me. They just put up guardrails. Well, I'm not going in after him. I say we just activate another clone."
Stormtrooper: "Would someone tell me who's [sic] brilliant idea it was to put the throne room at the top of the reactor core?" - ―Conversation in PVP Online's Star Wars RPG session[src]
Quantum Leap
- "Breathe! Come on! If you die, you're never gonna see Star Wars!"
- ―Sam Beckett, saving a kid with CPR in 1964 on the Quantum Leap episode "Jimmy"
Rhymes With Orange (comic strip)
- "Why backwards talk Yoda, but drunk no one assumes?"
- ―Rhymes With Orange cartoon
RiffTrax
- C-3PO: "What is it, Master Luke?"
- Luke: "I'm not sure."
- Kevin: "Check Wookieepedia to see."
- ―Kevin Murphy, in RiffTrax for The Star Wars Holiday Special[src]
- Qui-Gon: "There's always a bigger fish."
- Kevin: "Well, that implies that there's a fish large enough to swallow the entire cosmos."
- ―Kevin Murphy, in RiffTrax for The Phantom Menace[src]
Robot Chicken
"Vader, how's my favorite Sith? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just slow down. Huh? What do you mean, ‘They blew up the Death Star’? F***! Oh, **** **** ****! Who's 'they'? What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?"
―Palpatine (voiced by Seth MacFarlane), talking to Vader on phone on Robot Chicken[src]
- Vader: "Turn to the dark side and join me."
- Luke: "I'll never join you! You killed my father!"
- Vader: "No, Luke. I am your father!"
- Luke: "That's not true! That's impossible!"
- Vader: "And Princess Leia is your sister."
- Luke: "That's not true! That's... improbable."
- Vader: "And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks."
- Luke: "That's...very unlikely."
- Vader: "And as a child, I built C-3PO."
- Luke: "Huh?"
- Vader: "And the Force? Well, that's just microscopic bacteria in your bloodstream called midi-chlorians."
- Luke: "Look, if you're not going to take this seriously, I'm out."
- ―Robot Chicken's spoof of The Empire Strikes Back's most famous scene[src]
"Your tongues can't repel flavor of that magnitude!"
―Admiral Ackbar promoting his new brand of breakfast cereal, from Robot Chicken: Star Wars
―Admiral Ackbar promoting his new brand of breakfast cereal, from Robot Chicken: Star Wars
"Now get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here, or I'm gonna tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Padamamé or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!"
―Emperor Palpatine, insulting Darth Vader over the phone on Robot Chicken
―Emperor Palpatine, insulting Darth Vader over the phone on Robot Chicken
"So I threw the senate at him. The whole senate! True story."
―Emperor Palpatine, recounting his confrontation with Yoda in Robot Chicken: Star Wars
―Emperor Palpatine, recounting his confrontation with Yoda in Robot Chicken: Star Wars
- Mon Mothma: "I'll have the Calamari."
- Ackbar: "Well, I guess I'll have the insensitive bitch, with a side of f*** you."
- ―Mon Mothma and Admiral Gial Ackbar, going out to dinner[src]
- Bartender: "What'll it be, pal?"
- Jawa: "Martini!"
- ―Jawa, ordering a drink in Robot Chicken[src]
- Luke: "I just can't believe Ben's gone."
- Leia: "Aw, did the 80-year-old man you just met yesterday die? I mean, sorry if I didn't notice. I was a little busy thinking about my entire family and the other two billion people from Alderaan who were just vaporized into dust about three hours ago!"
- R2-D2: "Ooooh, snap!"
- ―Luke and Leia, in a sketch from Robot Chicken: Star Wars Episode II[src]
"
―Dr. Ball, at Padmé's death bed, providing Yoda, Bail, and Obi-Wan with his professional opinion
―Dr. Ball, at Padmé's death bed, providing Yoda, Bail, and Obi-Wan with his professional opinion
"What the—!? You trying to drown that kid? What're you injecting there? Is this the bloody Dark Ages? Why don't you just throw some leeches in there!? Oh, 'Nobody listen to Dr. Ball, he's just an old fool!'"
―Dr. Ball is shocked at the "cutting edge" medical treatments used by the Rebellion at Echo Base
―Dr. Ball is shocked at the "cutting edge" medical treatments used by the Rebellion at Echo Base
The Simpsons
- Leonard Nimoy: "I'd say this vessel could do at least warp five."
- Quimby: "And let me say, May the Force Be With You!"
- Leonard Nimoy: "Do you even know who I am?"
- Quimby: "I think I do. Weren't you one of the Little Rascals?"
- ―Mayor Quimby and Leonard Nimoy, christening the Monorail on The Simpsons[src]
- "I bent my Wookiee."
- ―Ralph Wiggum, grieving for a crushed action figure on The Simpsons
- Homer: "Wow, what an ending! Who would have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father!"
- Moviegoer: "Oh, thank you, Mister Blow-the-picture-for-me!"
- ―Homer Simpson, spoiling The Empire Strikes Back for people waiting in line at the theater[src]
- Mark Hamill: "Homer! Use the for..."
- Homer: "The Force?"
- Mark Hamill: "No, the Forks! Use the forks!"
- ―Mark Hamill and Homer Simpson, the latter defending the former from fans[src]
"There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars Trilogy."
―Bart Simpson's end monologue from The Simpsons: "Bart the General"
―Bart Simpson's end monologue from The Simpsons: "Bart the General"
- Lenny: "I say Phantom Menace sucked more!"
- Carl: "I say Attack of the Clones sucked more!"
- ―Lenny Leonard and Carl Carlson, while lightsaber dueling with carbon rods in a 2003 episode of The Simpsons[src]
Spaceballs
- Dark Helmet: "Before you die, there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr."
- Lone Starr: "What?"
- Dark Helmet: "I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate."
- Lone Starr: "What's that make us?"
- Dark Helmet: "Absolutely nothing, which is what you are about to become!"
- ―confrontation between Dark Helmet and Lone Starr in Spaceballs
- Yogurt: "Yes, I am the keeper of a greater magic. A power known throughout the universe as..."
- Barf: "The Force?"
- Yogurt: "No! Da Schwartz!"
- ―Yogurt and Barf the Mog in Spaceballs
"So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."
―Dark Helmet, to Lone Starr in Spaceballs
―Dark Helmet, to Lone Starr in Spaceballs
Square Root of Minus Garfield
- "Statement: I'm HK-47, your talking scale. If you step on me, I'll tell you your weight. AAUGH! What are you doing? Remove the fat cat! Remove the fat cat! Medic!" [Garfield steps off] "Mockery: Whew! Thank you, meatbag!"
- ―Garfield meets HK-47 in Square Root of Minus Garfield
Star War The Third Gathers: The Backstroke of the West
- "Do not want"
- ―A poor translation of Darth Vader's "Noooooooo" from an infamous Episode III bootleg
"He is so strong and big. He become more and more strong and big. Then his land killed him to let him going to bed."
―A poor translation of Palpatine's story about Darth Plagueis, from an infamous Episode III bootleg
―A poor translation of Palpatine's story about Darth Plagueis, from an infamous Episode III bootleg
- Palpatine: "You two careful, he is a big."
- Obi-Wan: "Mr. Speaker, we are for the big."
- ―A poor translation of Palpatine warning Obi-Wan Kenobi about Dooku, from an infamous Episode III bootleg[src]
- "The geography that I stands compares you superior."
- ―A poor translation of Obi-Wan Kenobi stating that "I have the high ground", from an infamous Episode III bootleg
Star Wars Episode III: Abridged Script
- Ewan: "Hayden! What the hell, your whole reason for turning was to save her. That was completely stupid."
- Hayden: "Nyaaah! The Jedi are stupider! They didn't know I was married to Natalie despite the fact that we live together, which Ian figured out in seconds. They didn't know Ian was a Sith. They asked me to get close to him, knowing full well I am confused and that he's manipulative. God, the assassin from Attack of the Clones allegedly couldn't be sent by Christopher Lee because 'It's not in his character'? Face it, it's a miracle the Jedi survived this long!"
- Ewan: "Anti-Jedite!"
- Narrator: "They duel. Then they duel some more! Then there's even more dueling! Afterwards, they do some more dueling. Then there's another duel, a little dueling, and finally, a duel."
- Ewan: "It's over, Hayden! I've got the high ground, just like Darth Maul did in Episode I right before I…killed him successfully… Ignoring that, if you jump over to me, I will cut your shit off!"
- Hayden: "You underestimate my power to decide not to jump to the low ground in front of you where I will be able to safely continue dueling, but to instead try to jump all the way over you and get my shit cut off!"
- Narrator: "He jumps and gets his shit cut RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!"
- ―Star Wars Episode 3: Abridged Script, written by Rod Hilton[src]
Star Wars KOTOR Abridged
- Calo Nord: "I have to give you credit... you've led me on quite a chase. But nobody gets away from Calo Nord in the end!"
- Revan: "Calo! Wait, how did you survive? We saw you hit by a massive laser."
- Calo Nord: "Just a scratch."
- Revan: "And then you were crushed by falling rubble."
- Calo Nord: "I've had worse."
- Revan: "How did you survive the planetary destruction?"
- Calo Nord: "I was blown clear."
- Revan: "Into the vacuum of space?"
- Calo Nord: "Look, can we talk about something else?"
- ―Calo Nord, confronting Revan on Tatooine in "SW: KotOR Abridged" video[src]
Stargate SG-1
- Tenat: "Who are you?"
- Daniel Jackson: "Uh, name's Olo. Hans Olo."
- ―Daniel Jackson, "selling" the starship Prometheus on Stargate SG-1[src]
- Teal'c: "You have been impregnated without copulation?"
- Vala Mal Doran: "Yes! And I'm absolutely terrified! Have any of you ever heard anything like it?"
Cameron Mitchell: "Well, there's one..."
Teal'c: "Darth Vader."
Vala Mal Doran: "Really? How did that turn out?" - ―Teal'c introduces Vala to Star Wars on Stargate SG-1[src]
- O'Neill: "We brought pizza and a movie."
- Teal'c: "
Star Wars." - O'Neill: "He's seen it, what, eight times?"
- Teal'c: "Nine."
- O'Neill: "Nine times. If Teal'c likes it, it's gotta be okay."
- Carter: [pause] "You've never seen Star Wars?"
- O'Neill: "Well, you know me and sci-fi."
- ―Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c and Major Carter on Stargate SG-1[src]
Stephen Colbert
"Goodbye, or as Chewbacca would say it, 'raaaaaaaargh!'"
―Stephen Colbert
―Stephen Colbert
"What the hell is Chewie doing in Wonderland? Chewbacca… would never sip tea or play croquet using flamingos as mallets! That is so not canon! He is a ferocious Wookiee smuggler who travels the galaxy seeking his fortune never leaving Han Solo's side as payment for the Life Debt incurred when Han refused to kill Chewie at Imperial command! … I would love to see the Queen of Hearts try to execute Chewbacca; with one snap of those mighty Wookiee paws, it would be off with her head! Plus… when would he find time to leave his home world of Kashyyyk to join the Mad Hatter at the White House? He doesn't even celebrate Halloween; he celebrates Life Day with his father, Itchy, his wife, Malla, and his son, Lumpy. Everybody knows that, no matter how much George Lucas wants us to forget 1978's The Star Wars Holiday Special."
―Stephen Colbert's rant about Chewbacca greeting children at the White House's Alice in Wonderland-themed Halloween party[src]
TROOPS
"TROOPS is filmed on location with the men of the Imperial forces. All suspects are guilty. Period. Otherwise, they wouldn't be suspects, would they?"
―Announcer at the start of TROOPS
―Announcer at the start of TROOPS
Twisted ToyFare Theater
- Lumpy: "Dad, what's Life Day all about?"
- Chewbacca: "What's Life Day all about? Why, it's... it's... you know, I have no idea — let's look it up on Wookieepedia."
- ―Lumpawaroo and Chewbacca, in ToyFare Magazine's Twisted ToyFare Theater[src]
Urban Dictionary
"Death Star: A powerful weapon that is susceptible to any form of attack. So far is 0 for 2 in victories."
―Urban Dictionary definition of the Death Star[src]
Vader Sessions
- Vader: "Hey, look, man, I ain't fightin' for no race. I ain't redeemin' nobody. I quit on you when you when you cleared out of Dee-troit with Willie the Pimp! Yeah, and you lucky I been too busy to find you, girl. You been sellin' my clothes, my ring, my silver brushes."
- Leia: "I don't know what you're talking about. I'm a member of the Imperial Senate on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan."
- Vader: "Don't you poppa me, girl. I'll poppa you so you never forget it. You get yo black ass outta here!"
- ―Darth Vader and Leia Organa, talking at cross-purposes in Vader Sessions[src]
- Vader: "Yeah, y'all mad at me, right? But there's one thing you better know, and that is that I love all of y'all. Listen, can I explain somethin' to you about being a daddy?"
- Motti: "Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to—"
- Vader: "Daddy....is the breadwinner. You dig what I'm sayin'? If you don't win that bread, you just don't come around."
- ―Darth Vader, confusing Conan Antonio Motti in the Vader Sessions[src]
VG Cats
xkcd
Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series
- Mako: "You've made me realize that being a minor character isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes those are the most cherished characters of all. Like Boba Fett from Star Wars."
- Joey: "Dude, don't even compare yourself to Boba Fett. You've got a long way to go before you reach his level."
- Mako: "Reach his level? He was killed by a blind man."
- Joey: "Oh... sounds like somebody is unfamiliar with the Expanded Universe."
- ―Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series episode 33[src]
VIP fans
Alan Stern
- "There is a disturbance in the force. Enough said."
- ―Alan Stern, upset with the IAU for shifting the definition of Pluto to a "plutoid"
Alex Knapp
"It was Palpatine's manipulations that put Jar-Jar in the Senate. Once in the Senate, it was Jar-Jar who led to the vote granting Palpatine the emergency powers he needed to install an army. It was that army that made the Clone Wars possible. It was the Clone Wars that made the Empire possible. No Jar-Jar, no Clone Wars, no Empire. I rest my case right here. Any organization founded on Jar-Jar Binks is doomed to failure."
―Alex Knapp's reaction to Death Star PR's rebuttal to his "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire"
―Alex Knapp's reaction to Death Star PR's rebuttal to his "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire"
"Even beyond this one mistake, by adopting a management style of 'failure leads to Force choking,' Vader developed an organizational culture that was destined to be weak. People would be afraid to offer feedback or suggestions, choosing instead to follow orders to the letter. This ensures that decisions are made at a very high level, and anyone under those levels will lack initiative or the ability to act on their local knowledge. What's more, by punishing failure so harshly, the Empire provides an incentive for people within the organization to actually lead their superiors to failure. After all, the quickest way to promotion in the Empire is for your boss to make a mistake, so it's in your own best interests to ensure that he does."
―Alex Knapp, "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire," published in Forbes magazine website
―Alex Knapp, "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire," published in Forbes magazine website
"We here at Forbes aren't terribly scared of a Galactic Empire whose ground forces can't face a sustained assault by teddy bears armed with sticks and whose 'ultimate weapon' can be destroyed by farmers or random mining executives with little to no space combat experience."
―Alex Knapp's reaction to Death Star PR's rebuttal to his "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire"
―Alex Knapp's reaction to Death Star PR's rebuttal to his "Five Leadership Mistakes Of The Galactic Empire"
Conan O'Brien
"I once sent four stormtroopers to my sister's Malibu Barbie Dream House. They ransacked the place and interrogated Barbie for over two hours."
―Conan O'Brien[src]
- Interviewer: "Which character do you think is the most-underrated and under-appreciated and why?"
- Conan: "Salacious Crumb! He laughed at everything Jabba the Hutt said even when Jabba's material was sub-par. He'd make a great sidekick."
- ―Conan O'Brien, in interview[src]
- Conan: "They made this Star Wars Christmas special, and the tape's been passed around for years, and the rumor is that Lucas is trying to suppress it, cause none of you look happy while you're making this thing." [Ford squirms uncomfortably] "And I thought I'd just ask you about it. Do you remember making this Christmas special? I think it was 1978." [Ford shakes head] "No? You don't remember it? You have no memory of this incident?"
Ford: [shakes head] "No, none whatsoever." - Conan: "No memory of it at all?"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "So it doesn't—"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "—exist in your—"
- Ford: "No, it doesn't exist!"
- Conan: "It doesn't exist?"
- Ford: "No."
- Conan: "What if I were to tell you that I had a little piece of tape right now?" [Ford lunges at Conan, strangles him] "No!"
- ―Conan O'Brien, interviewing Harrison Ford about The Star Wars Holiday Special[src]
Cracked
"Quickly, what's your favorite scene from the original Star Wars trilogy? The first moment you see Darth Vader? When Luke loses his hand and finds out the truth about his father? The battle with Imperial Walkers on Hoth? Whatever it was, chances are it was conceived long before A New Hope was ever made, and not by George Lucas. Ralph McQuarrie was the production illustrator—basically, the guy whose job it is to get studios excited about the movie. He was supposed to sketch out a few ideas based on an incomplete script, just to give a hint of what direction the film might go. […] Looking at what he accomplished, it would be insulting to call his pictures 'concept art'; they were Star Wars."
―On Ralph McQuarrie, from Cracked's "7 Artists Who Secretly Made Your Favorite Movies" by David Christopher Bell
―On Ralph McQuarrie, from Cracked's "7 Artists Who Secretly Made Your Favorite Movies" by David Christopher Bell
"Without McQuarrie, there wouldn't be a Darth Vader helmet, or a Boba Fett suit, or Storm Trooper armor, which means you would have spent an entire decade of your childhood dressing up each Halloween as a ghost or a skeleton or some bullshit. Unless you did do that, in which case, you should watch Star Wars, it's really good."
―On Ralph McQuarrie, from Cracked's "7 Artists Who Secretly Made Your Favorite Movies" by David Christopher Bell
―On Ralph McQuarrie, from Cracked's "7 Artists Who Secretly Made Your Favorite Movies" by David Christopher Bell
Craig Ferguson
- Email: "Dear Craig and Jeff and Secretariat: I just found out my wife doesn't like Star Wars. Did I make a mistake?"
- Ferguson: "Yep."
- ―Craig Ferguson responds to a viewer email on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson[src]
Doug Aamoth
"Oh, look who learned some of the actual names of stuff after you guys yelled at me for making everything up for the first four episodes. I owe it all to Wookieepedia, which lists these binoculars as belonging to the Galactic Empire. These ones must have fallen off a space truck and into Rebel hands."
―Doug Aamoth, mixing up Model TD2.3 electrobinoculars with TD1.4s in Time.com's Techland website[src]
Game Informer
"Last Issue, the review for Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands incorrectly spelled the name 'Malik' as 'Malak.' A surprising number of readers noticed; we'll just hide behind the classic 'We wish every game was Knights of the Old Republic' excuse."
―Game Informer's Most Corrected Mistake, August 2010
―Game Informer's Most Corrected Mistake, August 2010
Gary Arnold
"It has a real shot at approaching the phenomenal popularity of 'Jaws,' and I wouldn't be surprised to discover 'Star Wars' in the runner-up position among modern hits before the year is out."
―Gary Arnold, for the Washington Post, 1977[src]
Hal Sparks
"I always wondered which one of the stormtroopers did Darth Vader's laundry. Now that I think about it, it was probably one of the Royal Guards since they're his own personal attachés. Plus they probably know how to properly separate colors from whites since they wear those bright red robes. Could you imagine if they got one of their robes mixed in with Vader's robes? 'Why is everything purple?!' Now that would be worthy of a Force choke!"
―Hal Sparks, in an interview[src]
Jake Tapper
- "Speaking of consipracy [sic] theories, think it's time for the world to come together and accept the fact that Han shot first."
- ―Jake Tapper, via Twitter
Judith Martin
"'The Empire Strikes Back' has no plot structure, no character studies let alone character development, no emotional or philosophical point to make."
―Judith Martin, in a clueless review of The Empire Strikes Back for the Washington Post[src]
Richard Cheese
"I mostly watched films like The Maltese Falcon, Goldfinger, and anything with Frank, Sammy or Dino in it. Then, a few years ago, I played at a hotel cocktail lounge that had one of the Star Wars movies playing on a big-screen TV, as sort of background eye candy. It looked like a crazy heist flick, just like Ocean's 11. This gang of good guys was trying to knock off the biggest casino in the galaxy, the Death Star. So I had the rest of the movies sent to my room, and I watched them between sets. I was struck by the 'futuristic' vibe in the movies. I guess the 'Wars' take place in space or something. Not normally my scene, but I dug the chick with the hair and the electric swords – those were swingin'. Oh, and the floating car was a gas."
―Richard Cheese[src]
Steve Tilley
"The game doesn't glorify the serious issue of bullying in schools any more than the movie Heat endorses bank robbery or Star Wars encourages civil insurrection."
―Steve Tilley, on Bully[src]
The Times Online
"For Star Wars fanatics, there is Wookieepedia, with more than 50,000 articles, and regularly amusing Quotes of the Day."
―Review of Wookieepedia in the Arts Online section of The Times Online[src]
Weird Al Yankovic
"Prior to The Empire Strikes Back, the thought of writing a song about Yoda had never occurred to me."
―"Weird Al" Yankovic
―"Weird Al" Yankovic
Zero Punctuation
"I opted for smuggler, it bringing back pleasant memories of an airplane ride I once took with three condoms full of pre-cut Acapulco gold. This, it turned out, is a primarily long-range class, whose job is to hide behind things going pew-pew-pew with a blaster and, in curious defiance to how blasters usually behave in Star Wars, not missing ninety percent of the time."
―Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, reviewing Star Wars: The Old Republic
―Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw, reviewing Star Wars: The Old Republic
Wookieepedians
Adamwankenobi
"Before I found Wookieepedia, watching a Star Wars film, reading Star Wars materials, or playing a Star Wars video game was pretty straightforward. Now, I can't even look at any of it for a second without checking Wookieepedia to see if 'that character seen to the right of that scene for one second', or 'that character mentioned on page 293' has its own article. It's madness, I tell you! But that madness makes me proud... for I am a Wookieepedian!"
―Adamwankenobi
―Adamwankenobi
BaronGrackle
"I don't like Hayden's dialogue. It's coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere. Not like Harrison's. With him, everything's smooth."
―BaronGrackle
―BaronGrackle
Cutch
jSarek
"It was a dark night, one that would have undoubtedly been stormy had Coruscant's Weather Control Network permitted it. Not many Nuknogs ever left the filthy swamps of Sump, which is why he knew the dame that walked into his office was trouble with a capital trill."
―Databank entry on Slyther Bushforb, slightly edited from a piece by jSarek[src]
JustinGann
- "This is not a democracy. It is a mofference."
- ―JustinGann
KeiranHalcyon
"Seems to me like we are trying to beat a rancor with 20 gamorreans instead of one heavy turbolaser battery."
―User:KeiranHalcyon, on archiving the forums
―User:KeiranHalcyon, on archiving the forums
Roron Corobb
"Wookieepedia is like swiss cheese, there will always be holes, but it will forever taste good."
―Roron Corobb on Wookieepedia
―Roron Corobb on Wookieepedia
Narrative text
Aaron Allston
"Nevil stared at him with – what? Fear? Anger? Obsequious Acceptance? Caedus couldn't tell. The fishy folk were so hard to read, Mon Cals and Quarren alike. He didn't like them anymore."
―Jacen Solo, after killing Tebut
―Jacen Solo, after killing Tebut
"In the months Rogue Squadron had been on Mon Remonda, Corran Horn and Han Solo had never been seen at the same place and time. It had spawned a running joke among the other pilots-the notion that, despite their disparate ages and personalities, they were the same person in disguise."
―New Republic pilots, on Corran Horn and Han Solo
―New Republic pilots, on Corran Horn and Han Solo
Fate of the Jedi: Abyss
- "In a galaxy long, long ago..."
- ―An editorial oversight in the Fate of the Jedi novel Fate of the Jedi: Abyss
Barbara Hambly
"Marcopius had been a loyal retainer of Her Excellency's, a good pilot, and, as far as Threepio was capable of judging, an admirable young man. Though Threepio personally saw no reason why human remains should not simply be jettisoned, burned, or for that matter stewed and eaten by other humans in an emergency (provided they were certified free of harmful bacteria first and, if possible, aesthetically prepared), he was acutely aware that neither Her Excellency, the young man's family, nor the deceased himself would have considered this send-off at all respectful."
―C-3PO, musing on funeral arrangements in Planet of Twilight
―C-3PO, musing on funeral arrangements in Planet of Twilight
Brian Daley
"Bollux employed a trick he had learned from one of his first human owners, and simply omitted from computations the logical conclusion that his destruction was now a high order of probability. Among humans, he knew, this tactic was called ignoring certain death. Bollux thought of it as excluding counterproductive data."
―Bollux faces down Viceprex Hirken's Mark X Executioner
―Bollux faces down Viceprex Hirken's Mark X Executioner
"A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, there came a time of revolution, when Rebels united to challenge a tyrannical Empire."
―Ken Hiller, narrating
―Ken Hiller, narrating
"When Han stepped down the starship's ramp, his face lit with that intense smile that had been known to make men check up and see what their wives were doing."
―Brian Daley, Han Solo at Stars' End
―Brian Daley, Han Solo at Stars' End
The Clone Wars
- "He who seeks to control fate shall never find peace."
- ―Moral of Star Wars: The Clone Wars episode "Ghosts of Mortis"
Daniel Keys Moran
"Fett floated in a long dreamtime moment, tied to the gambler's last moments of real awareness down in the slime on the floor of the pit, blind, deaf, limbs dissolved, rib cage cracked apart with the tentacles massaging his organs, dreaming of a woman who loved him—Boba Fett had been born to anger, and rage was his life. He struggled up out of the vision, fought it wildly, carried himself up out of the nightmare on the back of a wave of fury and abruptly was back, there in his body with the pain of the burning acid all around him, suffused with a clear, lucid, thinking hatred, an emotion so dark and deep and pure the Dark Lord himself might never have felt its equal.
"He could hear his own heartbeat thudding in his ears and he said, 'I'm going to kill you very slowly,' and he had never meant anything more in his life."
―Daniel Keys Moran (as "J.D. Montgomery"), A Barve Like That: The Tale of Boba Fett
"He could hear his own heartbeat thudding in his ears and he said, 'I'm going to kill you very slowly,' and he had never meant anything more in his life."
―Daniel Keys Moran (as "J.D. Montgomery"), A Barve Like That: The Tale of Boba Fett
The DarkStryder Campaign
"Pembric II is a semi-independent world that is a haven of criminals and smugglers. Order is maintained by the 'Pembric Security Legion,' which is distinguished from other criminal organizations by spiffy uniforms and badges."
―A capsule describing the planet Pembric II
―A capsule describing the planet Pembric II
Databank
"It was a dark night, one that would have undoubtedly been stormy had Coruscant's Weather Control Network permitted it. Not many Nuknogs ever left the filthy swamps of Sump, which is why he knew the dame that walked into his office was trouble with a capital trill."
―Databank entry on Slyther Bushforb, slightly edited from a piece by jSarek[src]
Dave Wolverton
"If you roll 0, you've sprained an appendage and won't be able to scratch where it itches for a week. You've twisted your leg and have to crawl away from the wreckage. You've broken your nose, and can't kiss anyone for a month! All of the twisting and turning as the Podracer flips end over end makes you throw up. The medic droids rush to your aid and throw you in a bacta tank for a couple of hours. It will take you years to pay the bill. Plus, the money you were carrying fell out of your wallet! Then, your mother learns about it from the HoloNets, and calls you up. She cries and tells you that you're an embarrassment to the species! But she promises to do her best to keep loving you anyway, and she enrolls you in a driver's safety class. Subtract 100 from your AP total. You may proceed."
―The result of utterly failing to avoid crashing Brant Rumble's Podracer
―The result of utterly failing to avoid crashing Brant Rumble's Podracer
Film trailers
"The heart of a hero. The courage of a Rebel. The strength of a leader. The loyalty of comrades. The power of the Force. The cunning of the enemy. A destiny revealed. A legend fulfilled. An epic of heroes, villains and aliens from a thousand worlds. The quest continues. The circle closes. The saga lives on."
―Return of the Jedi trailer narration[src]
"Somewhere in space, this may all be happening right now!"
―Narrator of the first Star Wars trailer[src]
Galaxy Guide 9: Fragments from the Rim
"The Reactor Core: Many hardened drinkers claim that this beverage should only be available by prescription, mainly because of the quantity of narcotic agents that are released by mixing Spice Liqueur and Blue Tonic. The people who drink it claim that this is complete nonsense, no narcotic agents are released and... by the way, did you know you've just turned into a lampstand?"
―Description of the Reactor Core
―Description of the Reactor Core
Greg Costikyan
- Failed Jedi: "No bar for kilometers around?"
- Gamemaster: "I'm afraid so."
- Failed Jedi: "Okay, I use my survival skill to look for booze."
- Gamemaster: "Your survival skill?"
- Failed Jedi: "Says here, you can use it to find the necessities of life."
- Gamemaster: "I don't think…"
- Failed Jedi: "I'm telling you, liquor's a necessity of life for me."
- ―Greg Costikyan's gameplay example of the "Survival" skill in Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game[src]
- Brawk: "Smuggling of unregistered passengers, eh?"
- Rebel: "Uh, well, no, see…"
- Brawk: "The punishment for that is seven years hard labor, you know."
- Rebel: "Ah…"
- Brawk: "Seven years hard labor. Interesting to speculate: what would a man give to avoid seven years hard labor?"
- Rebel: "Ummm… how about 1000 Credits Standard?"
- Brawk: "Seven years is a long time."
- Rebel: "2500?"
- Brawk: "A pleasure doing business with you." [raises comlink to lips] "Lieutenant Brawk reporting. No violations to report."
- ―Lieutenant Brawk negotiates a bribe with a Rebel[src]
- Luke: "Can you tell me how to get to Margess Base?"
- Bartender: "You planning on driving a landspeeder after sixteen mugs of Corellian whiskey?"
- Luke: "Ahh…" [waves hand] "I didn't drink sixteen mugs of Corellian whiskey."
- Bartender: "It's a good thing you didn't drink sixteen mugs of Corellian whiskey. Just head west out over Autumna Planitia."
- ―Luke Skywalker and a bartender[src]
Greg Keyes
"Corran held back a series of specifically Corellian words he that really wanted to use. But Tahiri was only fourteen. Would he make it through Valin's and Jysella's teenage years without turning to the dark side?"
―Jedi Knight Corran Horn, on handling Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila
―Jedi Knight Corran Horn, on handling Anakin Solo and Tahiri Veila
John Jackson Miller
"Varner Hilts's father spent years earning the confidence of the leader of the local faction in Beray. He took great care in selecting the shikkar blade intended for his liege's back. But the elder Hilts used somewhat less care in fastening the dagger's sheath, and the glass blade fell from his belt and buried itself in his ankle. He was dead in a gangrenous month, a mercifully short time to have to endure the nickname 'Slippery Hilts.'"
―Varner Hilts remembers his father's unfortunate accident
―Varner Hilts remembers his father's unfortunate accident
"[…] the widow Hilts soldiered on, targeting the faction leader for seduction the very next week. Minions carefully delivered her to the leader's private bedchambers in a massive ceremonial urn. Unfortunately, the lid was stubborn, and no one had told her the leader was spending the month campaigning in the high country. However, she did achieve her surprise, if the horror of the cleaning servants counted."
―Varner Hilts remembers the circumstances of his mother's death
―Varner Hilts remembers the circumstances of his mother's death
K.W. Jeter
"Whatever minute subcutaneous organ produced fear sweat, it was missing in him. Not because he had been born without it – no sentient creature was – but because he had forced it into nonexistence, excised it from his mind with the razor-sharp scalpel of his will. The ancient Mandalorian warriors, whose lethal battle-gear he wore, had been just as coldly ruthless, according to the legends that were still told and retold in whispers throughout the galaxy. Long ago, when he had first gazed upon one of their empty helmets, a relic of an extinguished terror, he had seen in its narrow, unreadable gaze an image of his own future, of the death-bringing entity he would become."
―Boba Fett's thoughts on the fear he inspires in his captives
―Boba Fett's thoughts on the fear he inspires in his captives
Karen Traviss
"Shevu had a way of dropping his chin and staring unblinking at you that made it clear he thought you were an idiot."
―Karen Traviss: Bloodlines
―Karen Traviss: Bloodlines
"In five millennia, the Mandalorians fought with and against a thousand armies on a thousand worlds. They learned to speak as many languages and absorbed weapons technology and tactics from every war. And yet, despite the overwhelming influence of alien cultures, and the absence of a true home world and even species, their own language not only survived but changed little; their way of life and their philosophy remained untouched; and their ideals and sense of family, of identity of nation, were only strengthened. Armor is not what makes a Mandalorian. Armor is simply a manifestation of an impenetrable, unassailable heart."
―Mandalorians: Identity and Language
―Mandalorians: Identity and Language
Kevin J. Anderson
"She selected a small plate of assorted pastries and sent the breakfast tray on its way. Before it departed, the tray told her to have a pleasant day."
―Leia Organa Solo has breakfast
―Leia Organa Solo has breakfast
Knights of the Old Republic
"Mandalorians boast that a shot from one of these pistols can take a starship out of commission. It's an obvious exaggeration, but for safety's sake, most listeners just smile and nod."
―Description of the Mandalorian Heavy Pistol in Knights of the Old Republic
―Description of the Mandalorian Heavy Pistol in Knights of the Old Republic
Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
- Sion: "You seek to erode my will. You will not succeed."
Message: [You have eroded Sion's will, reducing his Will saves, Constitution, and Wisdom.]
—Confrontation with Darth Sion in Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords[src]
L. Neil Smith
"Outside, a braid of raspberry red, lemon yellow, and orange orange twisted through the heavens, across a constellation locals called the Silly Rabbit."
―L. Neil Smith, Lando Calrissian and the Flamewind of Oseon
―L. Neil Smith, Lando Calrissian and the Flamewind of Oseon
Marvel Star Wars
"Long ago in a galaxy far, far away... there exists a state of cosmic civil war. A brave alliance of underground freedom fighters has challenged the tyranny and oppression of the awesome Galactic Empire. This is their story!"
―Introduction to Marvel Comics' Star Wars series
―Introduction to Marvel Comics' Star Wars series
- "Can I please take you to bed with me?"
- ―A Zeltron, to Plif, in the Danish translation of Star Wars 77
Matthew Stover
"The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies weakness, one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars."
―Matthew Stover
―Matthew Stover
- "The brightest light casts the darkest shadow."
- ―Matthew Stover, Revenge of the Sith novelization
"This story happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. It is already over. Nothing can be done to change it. It is a story of love and loss, brotherhood and betrayal, courage and sacrifice and the death of dreams. It is a story of the blurred line between our best and our worst. It is the story of the end of an age. A strange thing about stories- Though all this happened so long ago and so far away that words cannot describe the time or the distance, it is also happening right now. Right here. It is happening as you read these words. This is how twenty-five millennia come to a close. Corruption and treachery have crushed a thousand years of peace. This is not just the end of a republic; night is falling on civilization itself. This is the twilight of the Jedi. The end starts now."
―Matthew Stover: beginning of the Revenge of the Sith novel
―Matthew Stover: beginning of the Revenge of the Sith novel
"Obi-Wan Kenobi opened his eyes to find himself staring at what he strongly suspected was Anakin's butt.
It looked like Anakin's butt—well, his pants, anyway—though it was thoroughly impossible for Obi-Wan to be certain, since he had never before had occasion to examine Anakin's butt upside down, which it currently appeared to be, nor from this rather uncomfortably close range.
And how he might have arrived at this angle and this range was entirely baffling.
He said, 'Um, have I missed something?'
'Hang on,' he heard Anakin say. 'We're in a bit of a situation here.'
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that."
―Obi-Wan Kenobi awakens in an elevator shaft in the Revenge of the Sith novel
It looked like Anakin's butt—well, his pants, anyway—though it was thoroughly impossible for Obi-Wan to be certain, since he had never before had occasion to examine Anakin's butt upside down, which it currently appeared to be, nor from this rather uncomfortably close range.
And how he might have arrived at this angle and this range was entirely baffling.
He said, 'Um, have I missed something?'
'Hang on,' he heard Anakin say. 'We're in a bit of a situation here.'
So it was Anakin's butt after all. He supposed he might take a modicum of comfort from that."
―Obi-Wan Kenobi awakens in an elevator shaft in the Revenge of the Sith novel
"He was interrupted by the final flip of his X-wing, which brought his nose into line with the sight of the leading edge of the spherical debris field expanding toward him at a respectable fraction of lightspeed, and Hobbie Klivian, acknowledged master of both profanity and obscenity, human and otherwise, not to mention casual vulgarities from a dozen species and hundreds of star systems, found that he had nothing to say except, 'Aw, nuts.'
―Hobbie in a disabled and drifting X-wing
―Hobbie in a disabled and drifting X-wing
"But he came up blank, of course, because nothing was ever that easy. Not for him. Nick was absolutely certain that on the day of his birth the Force had looked down upon his life, smiled, and cheerfully made an obscene gesture."
―Nick Rostu muses on life
―Nick Rostu muses on life
Michael P. Kube-McDowell
"Ackbar followed memory and the floorboard glow strips through the darkened halls to Leia and Han's bedroom. Out of consideration for the children, the door was closed but not secured. He hoped his friends were not busy mating."
―Gial Ackbar visits the apartment of Han and Leia Solo
―Gial Ackbar visits the apartment of Han and Leia Solo
Power of the Jedi Sourcebook
"One popular story in the Jedi Temple related how Master Windu was surrounded by a cadre of Gank killers—some of the galaxy's most formidable warriors—all of whom had blasters drawn and pointed at him. Master Windu never drew his lightsaber. He only laid his hand on it, and one by one, looked into the eyes of his opponents. Finally, he said three words: 'It's your decision.' One after another, the Gank killers laid down their weapons and quietly surrendered."
―The Power of the Jedi Sourcebook tells of Mace Windu's exploits
―The Power of the Jedi Sourcebook tells of Mace Windu's exploits
Roger MacBride Allen
"Lando seemed a bit taken aback. Perhaps it had never entered his head that there was a woman alive who wouldn't want to marry him."
―Lando Calrissian's reaction, after Luke Skywalker questioned his value as a potential husband
―Lando Calrissian's reaction, after Luke Skywalker questioned his value as a potential husband
Ryder Windham
"If there's any secret to the performance of the Falcon's hyperdrive, it's Solo's additional—and highly eccentric—modifications to 'streamline' the ship in hyperspace, controlling the warp of the space-time continuum around it. Other ships have attempted to match the Falcon's speed without such modifications, and have exploded into subatomic particles."
―Millennium Falcon Owner's Workshop Manual
―Millennium Falcon Owner's Workshop Manual
Return of the Jedi soundtrack
- "Celebrate the light; (Freedom!)
Celebrate the might; (Power!)
Celebrate the fight; (Glory!)
Celebrate the love." - ―"Ewok Celebration", from the 1983 soundtrack of Return of the Jedi
Sean Stewart
"At this moment Yoda turned, and Dooku gasped. Whether it was the play of the holomonitors, beaming their views of bleak space and distant battles, or some other trick of the light, Yoda's face was deeply hidden in the shadows, mottled black and blue, so that for one terrible instant he looked exactly like Darth Sidious. Or rather, it was Yoda as he might have been, or could yet become: a Yoda gone rotten, a Yoda whose awesome powers had been utterly unleashed by his connection to the dark side. In a flash Dooku saw how foolish he had been, trying to urge the old Master to the dark side. If Yoda ever turned that way, Sidious himself would be annihilated. The universe had yet to comprehend the kind of evil that a Jedi Knight of nearly nine hundred years could wield."
―Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, by Sean Stewart
―Yoda: Dark Rendezvous, by Sean Stewart
Sean Williams
"Her mind teetered on the brink of hysteria. First Kota and now him. Doesn't anyone stay dead anymore?"
―The thoughts of Juno Eclipse, upon learning that both Rahm Kota and Starkiller were alive
―The thoughts of Juno Eclipse, upon learning that both Rahm Kota and Starkiller were alive
Star Wars Customizable Card Game
"As there are very few local authorities on Dagobah, peeping astromechs can get away with just about anything."
―Dagobah Limited, captioning a photo of R2-D2 peering into Yoda's hut on a card titled "Voyeur"[src]
"Bothans operate the most complex spy network in the galaxy. Discovered the location of the second Death Star. Ambitious. Resourceful. Furry. Tend to die in large numbers."
―Card text for the "Bothan Spy" card from Decipher's Star Wars Customizable Card Game
―Card text for the "Bothan Spy" card from Decipher's Star Wars Customizable Card Game
Ewoks
- "We are the E-E-E-E-E-E-Ewoks
We're the spirits from the Forest Moon" - ―Theme song to Ewoks cartoon
Star Wars Insider
"Darth Vader ruled the Galaxy. Now you can charge him rent."
―Ad for Star Wars Monopoly found on the back cover of Star Wars Insider 38
―Ad for Star Wars Monopoly found on the back cover of Star Wars Insider 38
Star Wars Kids
"I'm the Naboo pilot who took the controls of the Queen's starship to flee Naboo. I also taught Anakin Skywalker a few things about flying a starship. At the Battle of Naboo, I was Bravo Leader. My name is_______."
―A Star Wars trivia game. The answer is Ric Olié
―A Star Wars trivia game. The answer is Ric Olié
Star Wars Tales
- "A mission this hot calls for a cat this cool!"
- ―A Dark Horse advertisement for Lando's Commandos: On Eagles' Wings describes Lando Calrissian
Star Wars: The Old Republic
"YOU ARE A ROCKIN' FULL ON SITH PURE BLOOD (best race)
You mostly just cruise around the galaxy messing people up. It's pretty kickin' rad.
Plus, you're all red. So, like, if some dude does manage to cut you, which is highly unlikely due to your amazing combat prowess, they wouldn't even be able to tell you were bleeding. So, it's like, a morale thing, where they get all discouraged.
Basically, you're totally metal, dude. Plus, your dad owns a dealership, so you're kind of a big deal."
―Prototype Star Wars: The Old Republic Codex entry for the playable Sith species
You mostly just cruise around the galaxy messing people up. It's pretty kickin' rad.
Plus, you're all red. So, like, if some dude does manage to cut you, which is highly unlikely due to your amazing combat prowess, they wouldn't even be able to tell you were bleeding. So, it's like, a morale thing, where they get all discouraged.
Basically, you're totally metal, dude. Plus, your dad owns a dealership, so you're kind of a big deal."
―Prototype Star Wars: The Old Republic Codex entry for the playable Sith species
Timothy Zahn
"Some people take so many chances with their lives that they're already up to their third or fourth clone. I've lost track as to whether it's Boooba Fett or Booooba Fett inside that Mandalorian armor. (The armor's probably on its second or third generation, too. Fett gets shot at a lot.)"
―Luuke Skywalker, in the April Fool's Day Fate of the Jedi: An Apology epilogue
―Luuke Skywalker, in the April Fool's Day Fate of the Jedi: An Apology epilogue
"Leia took a deep breath. Finally. After ten hours of labor—after nine months of pregnancy—the end was finally in sight. No. Not the the end. The beginning. They laid the twins in her arms a few minutes later…and as she looked first at them and then up at Han, she felt a sense of utter peace settle over her. Out among the stars there might be a war going on; but for here, and for now, all was right with the universe."
―Leia Organa Solo right after the birth of her twins
―Leia Organa Solo right after the birth of her twins
Tom Taylor
"They say once you've been to Nar Shaddaa, you'll want to stay forever. That's not entirely true…that's just what they tell the families of all the people who go missing here."
―Invasion 4, by Tom Taylor
―Invasion 4, by Tom Taylor
Walter Jon Williams
"Kre'fey's Question Number One, How can I hurt the Vong today?, was best answered by blowing things up."
―Walter Jon Williams: The New Jedi Order: Destiny's Way
―Walter Jon Williams: The New Jedi Order: Destiny's Way
The White Witch
- "C-3PO looks at the remains of his enemy and smiles smugly."
- ―The White Witch picture book, after C-3PO outwits a Boiler Droid
William C. Dietz
- "An officer turned, saw Kyle, and died."
- ―William C. Dietz: Dark Forces: Soldier for the Empire
(The content of this page is current up to: February 28, 2014)