Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Revan/Legends (fourth nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Revan

  • Nominated by: Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 04:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: hehehehehehehehe. Hi there. Did ya miss me?
  • Date Archived: 18:09, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 43415 words (881 introduction, 39956 body, 2578 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 43190 words (880 introduction, 39888 body, 2422 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:TOR, WP:KOTOR

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. D MCCG D MCCG (chat) 03:06, 18 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 10:03, 28 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. It'd be great for Legends Revan to return to FA status. —Tomotron Revanchist Sith (Star Forge) 06:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote The man, the myth, the legend... Supreme Emperor Holocomm 18:02, 30 November 2021 (UTC)
    -A Girl Has No Name 21:21, 15 December 2021 (UTC) (Vote struck, reason: Per policy: General rules, item 3 -- DarthRuiz30 (talk) 22:01, 15 December 2021 (UTC))
    Editoronthewiki (talk) 05:21, 18 January 2022 (UTC)
I need to do a more in depth review of this article, I'm sorry to alter my vote a year later Editoronthewiki (talk) 02:51, 1 October 2023 (UTC)
  1. Please, bring Revan back. NhanTNTAlt (talk) 09:43, 31 October 2022 (UTC) (Vote struck, reason: Per policy: General rules, item 3 -- Imperators II(Talk) 11:04, 21 November 2022 (UTC))
  2. AwesomeMutation (talk) 17:52, 21 March 2023 (UTC)

Object

Tomotron
Vergence
Braha'tok/Legends
Up to Rise of the Sith
  • "According to Mical, Revan returned to his first teacher in order to learn how to best leave the Jedi Order, though he did not follow through." You're trying to keep a trend of saying Revan is not named Revan yet, but this seems to be an anomaly.
    • Fixed.
  • "Outraged at the Jedi Council's refusal to involve the Order in the conflict, the young Jedi Knight began to move among the Order," What do you mean by "move among the order"?
    • Reworded.
  • Second and forth paragraphs of The Revanchist are too bloated. As is the forth paragraph of Fighting the Mandalorians and the final paragraph of Dark Lord of the Sith. Bisecting them accordingly is advised.
  • "Alec and his followers" is used multiple times, but that format makes it sound like they could be Alec's followers.
    • Reworded.
  • "Shortly after the Adasca affair, the Taris Siege, and the bombardment of Jebble," the last two events are just passingly mentioned with no context and don't seem relevant to the narrative at all. I'd say it's better to not mention them at all.
    • Done.
  • "Anointing his new servants as Darth Revan and Darth Malak, the Dark Lords of the Sith, the Emperor sent them back to the Republic as a vanguard to his own invasion, ordering them to make use of the Rakatan Star Forge and to report back when they had crushed the Republic's resistance." The reintroduction of the Star Forge makes it look like the Sith suddenly had it, and then we find out that Revan is locating it after he searched a lil bit. I'd try and say from the start that Revan and Malak needed to locate and obtain the Star Forge.
    • Changed to "find and make use of"
  • "the two were taken captive by the native Black Rakata." The Black Rakata's article introduces them as a tribe, but the Revan article introduces them as if they're a species. Please revise.
    • added "tribe"
  • "When the Republic officer Saul Karath defected to Revan's forces, Revan eventually promoted Karath to commander of the entire Sith fleet. However, Malak ordered the Admiral to bombard the surface of the planet Telos IV with his flagship Leviathan," Is Karath the admiral? If so you should probably specify their (new?) rank in the first sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:24, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Changed to "newly-promoted Admiral". Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:17, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • You refer to the "Emperor" when Revan and Malak encounter the guy but I'm assuming that's Vitiate? If so, I think it would be better to keep using Vitiate's name rather than just the Emperor.
    • At this point in time, the Emperor was literally *only* known as the Emperor; he discarded his older names after leaving Nathema and didn't readopt others until the events of TOR.
  • You ok with these changes? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 23:03, 12 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Revan quickly won a string of military victories, proving himself to a capable military leader," Proving himself to whom?
    • Republic military. Fixed. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 15:17, 25 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "While Revan was a military genius who knew that the Republic's industrial might was the key to victory, […] "Moral shortcuts" became common under Revan and Malak's leadership, and the two Jedi developed a cold and calculating disposition unlike that of a Jedi; they matched the Mandalorians' brutal tactics with tactics just as merciless." If this is someone's point of view, that should be specified, because this feels to me like it flouts WP:NPOV a bit.
    • Cited - it comes from a lot of sources, like Warfare, but specifically the OOU Atlas and NEC.
  • You should specify that Foerost is a planet (or whatever the source says it is if the Foerost article is wrong). Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 12:37, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
Soldier of the Republic
  • "He also encountered a number of the building's inhabitants, such as the former waitress Dia,[39] who told Revan about how she was hiding out to avoid a bounty set by a man named Holdan after she rejected his advances." Advances being like an attempt at romance? Does the source clarify this?
    • Sexual/romantic, yes; that's what the phrase "rejected his advances" means.
  • "Taking their journals, Revan then discovered a sealed door that Vao unlocked with her security spikes. Upon finding Zaalbar within," Found him within what? What was the door to?
    • Zaalbar was behind the door. Clarified.
  • The article reads "While exploring the sewers, " and then "Before they headed down into the sewers," when I'm pretty sure they're still in the sewer. Do you mean like "Before they continued exploring the sewers" or am I missing something? Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 11:19, 26 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Ah, that meant to be "Before they headed down into the base." Fixed. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 18:47, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  • "Since Revan's defeat, Malak had declared himself the new Dark Lord, taken control of the Sith Empire, and kept the Republic on the defensive." I'm assuming this is about the war in the last section, but it'd be good to clarify so to remind the reader of what already exists.
    • The change you made was fine, but I was talking about the kept the Republic on the defensive part. I should have made that more clear. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
      • Done.
  • "However, they were barred from entering the Lower City…" This situation is sorta thrown in out of nowhere. You should Introduce the fact that they were trying to reach the Lower City because Shan's pod might be there, and then mention the Sith troopers barring their entry.
  • "but the two stayed where they were and decided to intervene when the commander threatened to kill the Aqualish if he failed to cooperate. After the three Sith were killed," I'd clarify that Revan and Onasi killed them by tweaking that last clause there.
  • "Revan purchased a pazaak deck from a man named Garouk and used it to defeat a player named Niklos." I feel that context is insufficient here. My recommendation is that the last bit is worded to say he played and defeated Niklos, the unofficial pazaak champion of Taris, at a pazaak game using the purchased card deck or something along those lines. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:59, 10 July 2021 (UTC)
  • I am once again asking you to verify this copy-edit. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 15:32, 12 July 2021 (UTC)
Sectioning
Macaroni
  • Investigate/add audiobooks to app section.
  • Non-canon appearances get their own subsection per LG. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 01:00, 16 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Context needed for Arden Kae.
    • Done.
  • The Revanchist section could use another image
    • There aren't really any images of him from that period in time; I've shifted some images around and changed their size.
  • Many sections could use more subsectioning. These include: The Revanchist, Fighting the Mandalorians, To the Lower City and beyond, The sands of Tatooine, Into the Dune Sea, Into the Shadowlands, Legacy, and others as well—I'd suggest using those as examples of ones that are too long. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:05, 7 April 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • Is there any new information in this source? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 12:12, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Nope. Just a passing mention of Revan as "the Enclave's most famous student" when talking about Dantooine's Enclave. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 15:15, 14 July 2021 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to get a full headshot for the infobox instead of the current cropped one? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 12:26, 2 October 2021 (UTC)
General
Infobox
  • Can we at least combine the birth date and location into a single note like we do for other character articles? I realize this won't be possible for the death info due to the nature of the TOR date template.
  • Is it necessary to have two citations for gender? The body uses a separate source anyway.
  • Would like to see the Jedipedia citation eliminated when there is canon material depicting his brown eyes.
  • Referencing for physical traits at the very least should be consistent between the infobox and body.
  • Not seeing the yellow eyes mentioned anywhere in the body. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
Intro
  • "However, Revan was betrayed by his Sith apprentice Malak..." Malak's an apprentice now? The intro doesn't establish this clearly beforehand. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 13:04, 9 January 2023 (UTC)

Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:20, 31 January 2023 (UTC)

Personality and traits
  • Please ensure there is a section heading at the beginning. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
BTS
  • Would like to see a section heading at the beginning.
  • He's voiced by Spencer Garrett in Shadow of Revan per the credits. You will need to add this to the article and fill in the redlink. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 14:47, 16 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Also of note, he has dialogue in Echoes of Vengeance, but I believe the actor is uncredited, so that should also be mentioned here. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 06:35, 17 May 2023 (UTC)
  • Is it worth mentioning that his male and female actors in KOTOR are unspecified? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:30, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
    • Personally, not really. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 05:11, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
Sources
  • Would like to see the individual cards from 2010 Topps Star Wars Galaxy Series 5 listed here instead of a single link to the whole set. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:27, 30 May 2023 (UTC)
    • Funny thing, I actually went through that whole series and there's no Revan cards. There is a card in the 2012 Topps Star Wars Galactic Files Series 1, though. Added. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 05:11, 10 July 2023 (UTC)
Marvac
  • Please mention in your bts section that Revan, when he was Darth Revan, has appeared as a lego minifigure in set number 5002123-1. Please see link for more info (this link will take you to the Brickset website), https://brickset.com/sets/5002123-1/Darth-Revan. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 10:25, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
    • It's already listed in Sources and also has a sentence in the second paragraph of "Establishing continuity and other appearances". Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:28, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
      • Huh. Just found the reference to the lego minifigure. Sorry, last I checked, I couldn't find it. Marvacian Archivist (talk) 14:43, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
OOM
  • Further subsectioning is needed in the body, especially for sections such as "The hunt for the mask," where there are dozens of paragraphs. Perhaps adding a few more images would help.
    • gah. blasted session expirations, I saved a reply here earlier. I've subsectioned, but quotes will take me a bit.
  • The portions of the BTS section before the "Countinuity issues" subsection should be subsectioned as well.
    • I disagree on the need, but done.
  • "Revan also appears in a vision to the player character, the Jedi Exile Meetra Surik, in the depths of Korriban's tombs." — I don't see the significance of this explained in the BTS.
    • Removed, as I don't think it shows the actual character model unmasked, just the armored version. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:58, 29 March 2022 (UTC)
  • I don't think there's any need to mention the Revan novel in the BTS either. OOM 224 23:50, 12 March 2022 (UTC)
    • Sorry to interject, but I personally would disagree: it's surely notable if a character is the protagonist of an entire novel. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 17:40, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
      • I suppose that's fair, to mention that the character is the protagonist of the novel. I was more so concerned with whether this sentence is really necessary: "[the novel] explains what happened to Revan and the Exile after the events of the two games." On its own, the sentence doesn't really tell the reader much about the character himself. Perhaps the sentence should point out that Revan is the protagonist of the novel before adding what the novel is about? OOM 224 17:54, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
        • Quotes added and protagonist mentioned. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 01:00, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • The images from "Warrior and Sith" on should be enlarged. MasterFredCommerce Guild(talk) 00:36, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
    • done. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 01:01, 3 April 2022 (UTC)
      • That should include the Powers and abilities, Equipment, and Bts sections, too.
  • It gets confusing referring to him as "the future Revan" at the start of the bio. Should probably use different wording. MasterFredCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 05:10, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • In "Massacre on Cathar," does Knights of the Old Republic 42 actual confirm the Mandalorian as female, or does it just use she/her pronouns? Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 07:47, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
    • Hmm. Doesn't explicitly refer to them at all, just Cassus talking to them. Removed. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 17:59, 11 April 2023 (UTC)
Thrawn
Lew
  • I just want to confirm that any pronouns being used on the page are citable to the sources they are currently being cited to? Lewisr (talk) 16:26, 7 October 2023 (UTC)
    • Drove by and saw this, I can confirm that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 04:34, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
      • I should also specify this refers to the first usage of pronouns regarding all characters and not just Revan himself. Looking through the history I didn't see an instance where cites for first pronouns usage was added since the new precedent change. Given the size of the page, it is impossible that not a single cite was needed to be added. I also know this to not be possible because I found an example in the very first paragraph of the biography. The page cites Kreia's pronounds to Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, a game which she is not mentioned in or appears in, so it certainly should not be cited as a source for her pronouns Lewisr (talk) 06:47, 9 October 2023 (UTC)
        • Started the process of validating them, will take me a bit. Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:51, 3 November 2023 (UTC)
          • Thanks Lewisr (talk) 18:10, 21 November 2023 (UTC)
Fan
  • ("Freedom and fall") "The Cold War that followed began to collapse around 3642 BBY" I think this ought to be reworded to make it clear the Cold War was ending because the peace was collapsing; a Cold War 'collapsing' could just as easily mean a full detente a la the nineties IRL and not necessarily a resumption of hostilities. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)
  • ("Freedom and fall")"exterminating everyone with Sith ancestry." given that Sith of course refers to both the species and the order, this should make it clear that it's the species being referred to here. It's ofc implicit but given that confusion is inherently possible given the term's double meaning it should be clarified.
  • ("Thwarting resurrection") Context for Kira Carsen and the Alliance Commander. Fan26 (Talk) 00:11, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Per rule 6 of remaining stable during the review process, there is the upcoming KOTOR remake. Furthermore, there have been 8 sources added in the last year, 12 added in total since the nomination started. There are also 3 unaddressed objections from Fan from November 4th, as well as a stalled objection originally dated October 7th that hasn't been worked on since November 30th. Lewisr (talk) 18:05, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote LucaRoR (Talk) 18:06, 17 December 2023 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Unstable, and remake is still listed on official sites.—spookywillowwtalk 18:07, 17 December 2023 (UTC)