Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Posla's ship

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Posla's ship

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote A helmeted former lawman puts his frozen quarry, a smuggler, aboard his vertically-oriented ship. Hmmm... Imperators II(Talk) 08:27, April 21, 2020 (UTC)
  2. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 08:57, April 25, 2020 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:06, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Looking forward to future FANs from you! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:47, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:21, August 19, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Zed
  • Similar to my objection here, I think the Battle of Yavin would be a better reference point for the date.
    • Is that better? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:25, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • The reference note still mentions Evazan's incident on Tatooine. Zed42 (talk) 21:32, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah that's what you meant, my bad. Sorted it. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 22:02, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have I missed anything? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 17:08, February 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • In both your date notes, you need to provide a source for the Battle of Yavin date. Also, both notes end with a mention of 0 BBY rather than 0 ABY. Zed42 (talk) 18:46, February 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Accresker Jail needs context in the intro.
  • "Milvayne's police force, the Milvayne Authority, were quick to intercept them and they detonated the ship to distract the police officers." You should change the second instance of "they," because right now it's vague on who it refers to.
  • I don't think Aphra 22 identifies Son-tuul as a planet, that'll need an extra reference.
    • Can't find any reference from anything that it is a planet (though I have no access to the new Ultimate Star Wars). Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:25, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
      • It's identified as a planet in its first appearance in Darth Vader 7. Zed42 (talk) 21:32, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah I must have missed that when I covered that comic. Referenced. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 22:02, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Determined to capture Evazan, Posla reluctantly agreed to Aphra's demands, being told thereafter that Learning that Aphra was at Accresker." Something seems to be missing here.
  • The imagecat is a redlink. Zed42 (talk) 20:11, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • The Description section needs to actually describe what the ship looked like. Imperators II(Talk) 20:14, February 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • What's the rationale for the article being at the title "Tam Posla's ship" as opposed to "Tam Posla's starship"? After all, our article for generic starships is located at "starship", not "[[ship]]". Imperators II(Talk) 15:33, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • I made the article just after it first appeared but this quote may be able to back the name: "But Posla's ship is back there…". Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 19:06, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
      • If that quote is the best non-conjectural name for the vessel, you should actually consider using that as the article's title. Imperators II(Talk) 20:26, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
        • Posla also addresses it as ship when giving an order to it in one of the issues as well if that changes anything. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
          • It sounds to me like "Posla's ship" is the best option of a non-conjectural name for the article. Imperators II(Talk) 20:43, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
            • Would that mean it must be referred to in italic? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:51, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
              • No, that's just emphasis. What the name change does mean is that the article itself should be updated: conjecture template removed, the proper name added to the article's intro, body, and infobox; the intro and body text may need to be reworded etc. Imperators II(Talk) 20:54, April 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The category isn't applicable anymore, either. Imperators II(Talk) 10:29, April 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • Intro: "After Evazan planted proximity bombs in Aphra and 0-0-0, he revealed his true identity to Aphra abandoned the pair aboard Posla's ship." — the sentence is grammatically unclear. Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • The darker parts of the ship are definitely not silver-colored. Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've checked multiple photos and it looks like shadow to me. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:44, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • From the infobox image and the Ponda Baba one alone it does not look like a shadow. It's specific details that are dark, not whole areas of the ship as would be the case with shadows. Imperators II(Talk) 12:08, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
        • I see what you mean now. I've put gray on the list in characteristics. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 14:28, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Ref 9 needs further work. "Triple-Zero was first activated in protocol droid form" — what has this got to do with anything? What has Echo Base being intact has to do with Posla purchasing the ship? Imperators II(Talk) 17:23, April 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added some specification on where Aphra 40 is in respect to Aphra 22 and specified that 0-0-0 is in protocol droid form in Aphra 22 to connect better with the following sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:44, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • "After the Battle of Yavin" could also refer to, say, 1 ABY. What concrete evidence is there for Darth Vader 3 taking place in 0 ABY? Imperators II(Talk) 15:29, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
        • Specified that it's the earliest year after the battle to say that it's the earliest year in the date range. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:25, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Category:Starships would be a better fit. Would Category:Captured starships apply? Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should mention in the Description that the ship could be controlled via voice commands. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should note in the infobox that the ship was equipped with sublight engines. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like the scanning equipment could also be noted in the infobox. Imperators II(Talk) 07:31, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • May I suggest what I think could be a prudent course of action? Currently, there's only one comic issue titled Doctor Aphra 22. However, starting with tomorrow there will be another comic series titled Doctor Aphra, which could potentially run up to 22 issues again. At that point, this article's BTS would have to be reworded to avoid the ambiguity introduced by simply changing the redirecting pipelink to the 22nd issue of the 2016 series. Why not spare that effort then and avoid this right now, by wording the BTS something like "the twenty-second issue of the 2016 comic series Star Wars: Doctor Aphra"? Imperators II(Talk) 16:41, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • The lead sentence of the article needs to be cleaned up grammatically. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Given the informal nature of this article's title, I think you should avoid using the traditional "Article's subject was a ..." wording structure we so often use in our articles. Instead, I'd advise leading with something that formally introduces both Tam Posla (with a bit of context for him) and starships. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Changed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, this objection was made in regards to the Description section, which needs this rephrasing far more than the intro did (the intro's fine now, though). Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah I see, does this look better? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 14:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
          • Not really. Let me make my point clearer: for the Description section, give up the paradigm of beginning an article with "[Subject's name] was a ..." and instead begin with "such-and-such Tam Posla owned a such-and-such ..." which you can combine with the following sentence. Imperators II(Talk) 12:58, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
            • Oh I assumed I would need to start with calling it Posla's ship. How does it look now? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 19:29, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • Since the heating array quote has nothing to do with the events of the respective section, I think you should switch it for the scanning equipment one, which does in fact have something to do with the Tracking Evazan section. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla's ship was formerly owned by the assassin droid Triple-Zero" — everything in Star Wars happened in the past, therefore "formerly". Please revise the wording here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Upon introducing Triple-Zero, you should provide the droid's formal designation. And then you should proceed with consistency—in the article's body, you refer to the droid by his informal name, whereas one the quote captions uses his formal name. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorted. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • So I see you've switched to the droid's formal name everywhere in the article... everywhere but ref notes and the last sentence of intro, that is. Imperators II(Talk) 12:04, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • According to dictionary.com, while the usage of the verb "to bug" is not marked as informal, that of the noun "bug" is. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "who bugged its systems before it was sold to" — you may want to reword this. The lead quote seems to imply Triple-Zero himself directly sold the vessel to Posla as opposed to having it sold by another party. Why not keep it simple? Also, this way you may be able to avoid the repetitive usage of the pronoun "it" in the same sentence to refer to the ship. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla used the ship as his base of operations to hunt down his arch-nemesis, Doctor Cornelius Evazan. Posla utilized its equipment to log" — please vary the way you begin sentences here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "the man's trail" — worth linking to Human, no? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • No longer using "man" in that sentence after I reworded it per the objection below. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:07, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "the man's trail went to a halt for over a month" — can you clear this up? I've only ever used the phrase "the trail goes/went cold", and I'm not sure what the "for over a month" part specifies here. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'd like for some additional context for Evazan to be provided earlier in the article, i.e., that he was a surgeon. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please go through the article and revise any uses of the pronoun "this", which implies present tense. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "In this time, Posla's ship was parked in deep space, and Posla used his time unsparingly to scan for more leads on Evazan." — Please rephrase to avoid the repetitive usage of "time" and the confusing usage of "unsparingly". Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like the Rebel Alliance needs to be more explicitly provided as context than a pipelinked "rebel". Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Although Syndulla could not reach Starros personally, as her ship had crashed" — whose ship? Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla logged this and complimented the ship's state-of-the-art scanning system, logging a reminder to commend Triple-Zero for selling him the ship. Meanwhile, Triple-Zero was listening through his bug in the ship's systems, overhearing the reference to Aphra that Posla had mentioned." — please find more ways, including synonyms, to refer to Triple-Zero and Posla's ship. This applies to the entire article. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "overhearing the reference to Aphra that Posla had mentioned" — so Posla mentioned this out loud while alone on his ship? Can you make this any clearer? And perhaps earlier in the article? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Despite Posla refusing at first, Aphra tricked him into thinking she was holding Evazan hostage using what she thought was the shape-shifting powers of "Lopset Yas,"[2] but was actually the real Evazan wearing a bio-engineered creature called a pluripleq.[6]" — this sentence just needs a straight-up rewrite and possibly splitting into multiple sentences, because I don't understand what the hell is going on here. It's too unclear and convoluted. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Posla's ship later arrived near Accresker Jail as it traveled on a collision course" — another example of why careful wording and usage of synonyms matters. Was Posla's ship on a collision course? Or was it Accresker Jail? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As Posla began to take Evazan away, a highly contagious fungus called gundravian hookspores attempted to possess him." — Again. Possess whom, Posla or Evazan? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • You may want to carefully reconsider the way you're going to refer to the disguised Evazan throughout the entire article, because you're doing it in several ways. Be consistent. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla turned his ship around and landed back in Accresker Jail, leaving it to search for Aphra" — Leaving what, his ship or Accresker Jail? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Once he found her and declared that she was under arrest, he was mauled to death by Triple-Zero, who captured Aphra himself." — you may also want to avoid overreliance on pronouns as opposed to actual synonyms. In sentences such as this it soon becomes unclear what you're referring to. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Regarding the same sentence, it catches the reader somewhat by surprise, since at no point prior in the article have you provided Triple-Zero's motivation for bugging Posla's vessel and hunting for Aphra. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "removed his proximity bomb" — removed from where? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there an article for the droid's personality core mentioned in the article? Is it the Triple-Zero protocol personality matrix? Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is Ponda Baba actually explicitly identified as Evazan's friend? I believe the pair's relationship was much more ambivalent in Legends. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Evazan calls him "old pal" in issue 25 and old friend in issue 26. If you look at the image of Baba's ship docking Evazan also calls the Aqualish his friend in the speech bubble. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
      • Normally, in such situations I'd seek confirmation from a more neutral source (ideally, a secondary source such as a reference book), but since the pair's Databank entries also call them friends, I guess I can't object to this anymore. Imperators II(Talk) 14:03, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Evazan departed Posla's ship to join his Baba" — I actually chuckled aloud when reading this. :) Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • "found Milvayne credits" — when first seeing the pipelink, I actually expected "Milvayne credit(s)" to be an article of its own. Please reword this so that it just says they were credits from the planet Milvayne. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • "I suppose they found a little of the lawman's money--all in Milvayne credits,of course." Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'm afraid I must insist on this being revised according to my suggestion, given the line from the comic assumes the reader is familiar with what credits are—rightly so, but not an attitude Wookieepedia should also assume—plus it will provide more context that way. Imperators II(Talk) 13:33, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • The reason for Aphra and Triple-Zero traveling to Milvayne is intro-exclusive. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Was it both Aphra and Triple-Zero who killed the border officer? The article you wrote on the officer states it was just the droid. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please work in self-destruct mechanism and the fact that the ship was equipped with a hyperdrive both in infobox and the article's body. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • When during the events of the comics is the Theft quote uttered? I'm asking because the incomplete quote begs for additional context in the attribution. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • "Lopset Yas" explains BT-1's fate to 0-0-0 and then says that quote but 0-0-0 interrupts him asking what he meant by "destroyed" (for BT-1) and then "Yas" shoots him. How to you want me to describe the attribution? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'd recommend giving the Description sectioning a somewhat hierarchical layout. Begin by describing the ship's exterior, then interior, and then the features and functions in order of decreasing importance. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Definitely made a few stupid mistakes in there. All the objections have now been addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:58, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reviewing note: In your writing, you need to make note of the following grammar rule. "Subject 1 did something and did something else." <-- In this case, there's no comma in the sentence. "Subject 1 did something, and Subject 2 did something else." <-- In this case, there's a comma. Imperators II(Talk) 19:10, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • Right now, 100% of the intro is the ship's history. You should always keep in mind that there are other sections to an article with significant info. In this case, I think you should mention that the vessel was equipped with scanning equipment as well as a self-destruct mechanism. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should learn to drop the usage of "during or after" and similar speculative wording. Just say "by 0 ABY" instead. In this case, however, it'd probably be more precise and in-line with the article's body to say "at some point between 0 ABY and 3 ABY" or something to that effect. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Posla eventually took the ship to the wreckage-prison Accresker Jail to deliver an escape shuttle, attached to its rear undercarriage, to trade with the rogue archaeologist Chelli Aphra for a frozen Evazan." — if you take out the part beginning with "attached," you're left with two consecutive "to" parts that make for a bit of an awkward read. Please revise. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think that there's a bit too much detail on Evazan's camouflage for the intro, such as the mention of the pluripleq, which really has little to do with Posla's ship. Imperators II(Talk) 12:23, April 19, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • This sentence needs some kind of transitional context to explain how we get from Evazan tricking Posla into thinking he's a shape-shifter to Posla returning to the jail. These are two completely separate actions, and it's not clear how or why this is happening. "After he was defrosted, Evazan tricked Posla into thinking that he was a shape-shifter named "Lopset Yas." Posla returned to Accresker to arrest Aphra, but was killed by 0-0-0."
  • Additionally, the article needs to stay constantly on topic with regards to the ship, which is the sole focus of this article. Is Posla returning to the jail in the ship, presumably? This should be mentioned. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:16, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro is looking much better. Can we be clearer on what "detonated the ship" means? Did he activate the self-destruct mechanism or something? "...0-0-0 detonated the ship to distract the police officers." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:04, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reference 9 doesn't adequately establish how 3 ABY plays into this dating for Posla's ship. All it does is say that Aphra 40 must take place no later than 3 ABY, but what does that have to do with Posla's ship? You need to connect the relevance of Posla's ship to issue 40.
  • Is Evazan his nemesis or arch-nemesis? Because the intro and History don't agree.
  • The History section doesn't do a great job of explaining that Evazan planted a proximity bomb into Aphra as well. The intro states this very clearly, but the History just kind of vaguely says that Aphra had one without really explaining how it got there. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:46, August 10, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • What's the deal with the Son-tuul Pride? It's only mentioned in the infobox.
  • Could you please briefly mention that Posla carried Baba's severed arm with him aboard the ship, until Evazan took it with him, of course?
    • Both addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 13:59, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • About the first objection, the mentions of Son-tuul Pride in the article body are fine; however, since the organization doesn't appear in issue 22, I believe a manual reference note should be created, explaining how the ship is affiliated with the syndicate, for the infobox. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 09:28, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • I believe Category:Criminal starships would also apply to this ship. What do you think? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 13:28, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • About the reference changes in this edit, does issue 20 actually establish 0-0-0 led the Son-tuul Pride?
    • Ahhh, that gives my ref some flaws, with Posla possibly buying the ship before Aphra 15 or after Aphra 19 where 0-0-0 may not have the same position. I've removed the Son-tuul Pride stuff to avoid the obvious ambiguity there. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 10:33, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • I've made a few reference changes about the ones I found redundant or incorrect. Could you please check if these new ones work? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:03, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • "The former lawman[7]-turned-vigilante Tam Posla" - the hyphenation currently makes it appear as if Posla was a previously a (lawman-turned-vigilante), when I believe you're trying to say that he was a vigilante who was formerly a lawman. Please reword.
  • The facts that the ship had 2 sublights and an escape shuttle have different refs between the infobox and body. This isn't necessarily an issue, although consistency is preferred when possible, although I just want to confirm that both issues can be used as references to source those pieces of info.
    • Yes both sources confirm each, the infobox uses the earliest whereas the description just aims to use the least amount of referencing where possible as long as a source can confirm the whole sentence etc. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yeah thought so, just wanted to check. Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Tam Posla listens to Chelli Aphra's plea for a rescue mission" - it's a bit misleading to say Posla is listening to Aphra; judging by the quote the pair are having a conversation. This makes working out who is saying which line less clear. Please clarify.
  • "Ponda Baba docked a ship with Posla's ship" - a) I'd say it's now Evazan's ship, now Posla is dead. For later instances perhaps "Posla's old ship" could work? b) Is Baba's ship notable enough to have an article? It looks like a Gozanti-class cruiser from the front, so that should at least be pipelinked unless the ship differs from the Gozanti design elsewhere.
    • a is done. b Baba's ship appears in one panel, and Evazan and Baba are on a different looking ship in issue 27, which should be the same as in 26 and after 27 too. So I don't think the starship is notable enough for an article. For the ship design, the cylindrical looking part under the bridge suggests it's not a Gozanti and it seems too chunky towards the centre to be a Republic consular ship (if that's what you call it), so I think it's just a unidentified design. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay I'm happy with that. Tommy-Macaroni 11:33, June 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Do you think it would be suitable to relocate the escape shuttle in the infobox to the escapepods field? Tommy-Macaroni 13:50, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Escape shuttle is what Aphra called it as it was what she had requested for to get off of Accresker. Posla's ship doesn't even have a shuttle attached in issue 22. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 14:21, June 26, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:21, August 19, 2020 (UTC)