Talk: Master Jonathan/Archive11

< User talk:Master Jonathan

This is an archive of my talk page. To leave me a message, please use my current talk page. Thank you.

Finn (bartender)

Hey Jon, could you please give him a copy-edit and review? Thanks in advance.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:16, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Flak

Could you give him a copy-edit and a review? Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:31, September 3, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Here are my objections:

  • "During the patrol Flak complained about the seemingly boring mission and stated he would rather fight Confederate battle droids also Cody calmed him down.": Something's missing toward the end of this sentence.
    • Fixed.
  • "Instead however, he rather like to fight on the frontlines and destroy clankers." Please try to word the opening part of this sentence in a way that makes sense, because right now it's not doing so. Also, what is having the last two words of that sentence in italics supposed to mean?
    • Fixed. Thank you very much. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:03, September 5, 2010 (UTC)
      • I cleaned this one up a little more; take a look at it. In particular, note that the term "clankers" is both slang and POV and should not be used in prose. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 16:50, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 00:57, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Gavyn Sykes

Could you give him a copy-edit? Thanks in advance. QuiGonJinn 20px(Talk) 10:25, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

  • Done. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 19:22, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
    • Was there something wrong with Google cache links? I added them because I've already been asked to provide backup links in my other nom. QuiGonJinn 20px(Talk) 20:14, September 6, 2010 (UTC)
      • When an archive link is provided, {{WebCite}} automatically makes that the primary link (from the title) in the reference, which can cause confusion when the Google cache links expire in a few months; also, if an archive.org link is used instead, those versions are often broken in some way. For those reasons, I feel it's best to make the primary link the original for as long as that link continues to work, and the only way to do so is to not put an archive link into the template unless and until the original becomes dead. Theoretically, the template could be modified to allow the use of an archive link while keeping the primary link the original, but while I've done work on templates in the past, I don't even pretend to understand the code of {{WebCite}}. Basically, it's about making sure the reader has easy access to the original page. Let me know if you have further questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 20:36, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter Info

Hey, I'm working on the CSF FA nomination. I'm wondering if you could help me with info in Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter regarding the "Ren S'orn case" including why it was opened and why his mother Uta S'orn asked it to be closed. Also any and all information that you can find in that book/series on Yur T'aug including personality, bio, etc. His article didn't really help much. Supposedly he was the overall commander of the CSF but if you could confirm/deny that. If you could let me know as soon as you can, I'd appreciate it a lot!!Coruscantfan 20:54, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

I'll sort the info by book:

  • Jedi Apprentice: The Deadly Hunter
    • Pages 53–58 (Yur T'aug bio/personality):
      Captain T'aug is present at a murder scene at the Lane of All Worlds on Coruscant when Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan show up. The body is believed to be that of Fligh. Qui-Gon requests to see the body, and T'aug gives him the OK to do so. A few minutes later, Qui-Gon points out a piece of evidence to the T'aug, who calls an unnamed sergeant over to catalog it. Qui-Gon then starts asking for details, and the captain is reluctant to answer questions but eventually does so. Among the details T'aug reveals is that the body had been completely drained of blood.
    • Pages 71–72 (Ren S'orn):
      The Force-sensitive Ren had been accepted by the Jedi for training, but his mother, Senator Uta S'orn, declined to give him up. Ren became a "drifter", "fell in with bad companions", and was eventually murdered. When he was killed, his body was drained of blood, the same way as "Fligh".
  • Jedi Apprentice: The Evil Experiment
    • Page 67 (Ren S'orn):
      Jenna Zan Arbor freely admits to a captive Qui-Gon that she killed Ren after experimenting on him and his Force-sensitivity—the same type of "experimenting" she is now doing to Qui-Gon.
    • Page 78 (Ren S'orn):
      Ren's body was found on Simpla-12.
    • Pages 102–103 (both):
      Though Simpla-12 itself does not have a security force of its own, Captain T'aug and the CSF investigated Ren's murder. T'aug, however, didn't follow up on any leads and just shipped Ren's body back to Coruscant and his mother.
    • Pages 107–109 (both):
      Obi-Wan confronts T'aug about the dropping of Ren's case, and T'aug openly and rudely refuses to cooperate even though all CSF forces are expected to cooperate with the Jedi; after being reminded that the CSF and Jedi work toward the same goal—justice—he reveals that the case was dropped at Uta's request.
    • Pages 109–112 (Ren S'orn):
      Uta S'orn, who has just recently resigned from her position as Senator, reveals to Obi-Wan that she asked for the case to be dropped because she believes Ren was killed by "some lowlife" on Simpla-12, saying that "[h]e led a life of squalor" and commenting, "Why investigate it, why drag every sordid detail into the sun? Who knows what Captain Yur T'aug could have found out about Ren? I did not want to know. Don't you understand? I want it all to go away [...]".
    • Chapter 18 (Ren S'orn):
      Jenna Zan Arbor's secret lab, where she is holding Qui-Gon and where she experimented on Ren, is on Simpla-12.

That's all I found. There's no indication that Yur T'aug was the overall CSF commander, but there's no indication he wasn't, either. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 02:14, September 8, 2010 (UTC)

  • Thank you for responding so quickly, this information is great! I do have some questions. How did the Jedi find out about Fligh's murder? What exactly is the Lane of All Worlds? And I'm sure it was a typo, but I'm confused as to why the CSF investigated a murder on Simpla-12? Also, is there any information on the CSF's vehicles, uniforms, and other CSF members that are mentioned by name? Thanks for your help. Coruscantfan 20:16, September 8, 2010 (UTC)
    1. Didi Oddo, a friend of Qui-Gon, told them about the murder and where the body had been found.
    2. The Lane of All Worlds is an alleyway near the Senate.
    3. Not a typo; the CSF did indeed investigate the murder on Simpla-12, though there is no indication as to why they did so; it's stated that Simpla-12 has no security police of its own, but that is not explicitly connected to why the CSF investigated a crime on another planet, though it is heavily implied.
    4. No CSF members other than T'aug are mentioned by name, and there's no information at all on vehicles or uniforms other than the statement in The Deadly Hunter that the uniforms were navy in color.

CSWE request

Hey, Jon. Me again. Could you check what the CSWE has to say about Nichos Marr and Darksaber? QuiGonJinn 20px(Talk) 15:46, September 7, 2010 (UTC)

Re: Problem

Ah, I see. Thanks for pointing that out. :) CC7567 (talk) 05:45, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Wieler

Could you give him a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview? Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:25, September 13, 2010 (UTC)

Copy-edit done. Objection:

  • "while Wieler was in command of the Republic Navy in orbit above Khorm.": This makes it sound like he was in command of the entire Navy, which I don't think was the case. Please clarify.
    • Fixed.

I have nothing else. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 19:36, September 14, 2010 (UTC)

1 QUESTION

Do u know what happened to the ask a question on the left hand side i use ask questions but then its gone i know evanthetoon had it? Cadbanekiller 12:44, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

  • To be completely honest, I have no clue what you're talking about. Could you try to describe what you're talking about in a little more detail? —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 20:17, September 19, 2010 (UTC)

Well there was this like star wars wiki questions and some one could just ask something and soon just answer it like i use to ask questions about star wars related and mostly evanthetoon would answer. i would try to be more detailed but it's been a long time. Cadbanekiller 19:14, September 28, 2010 (UTC)

The idiots from Blood Ties #1

Hey Jon, could you give copy-edits and reviews to Elmyo and the Unidentified Gotal traffic controller? Thanks in advance.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 03:19, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Loved that issue. Done, and only one objection:

  • In both intros you make it sound as if the Gotal is apologizing for Elmyo demanding to begin landing fee negotiations, but I believe he's actually apologizing for the "you know your own name" patronization. Please clarify in both articles.

Otherwise, looks good. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 17:52, September 20, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you

Thanks for cleaning up Event Horizon (Duro) for me! I can't believe I forgot wookieepedia's tense preference. D'oh! - Tovarisch krae 19:13, September 22, 2010 (UTC)

Wen-Chii

Could you give Anno Wen-Chii a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview? Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:57, September 24, 2010 (UTC)

  • Done. I have no formal objections, but I will say that if that's all you can put in the P&A, then I don't think that section is needed. The article currently stands at 272 words as is, 259 without the P&A. Let me know if you have any questions. —Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 03:50, September 25, 2010 (UTC)

Villpu Nagg

Could you give Villpu Nagg a copy-edit and a pre-nom preview? Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:48, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:

  • The intro has a lot of short, choppy sentences. Please try to make it flow better.
  • "Warlord Unger Gout, the Confederate commander, then contacted Nagg and informed him of the Jedi treat.": What is "treat" supposed to mean here?
    • Spelling error. "Threat" is the right word.

Let me know if you have any questions. Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 22:00, September 29, 2010 (UTC)

WotM

Just to let you know, you're Wookieepedian of the Month for October 2010. Congratulations. Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:39, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

  • Congrats, MJ. Well deserved. 1358 (Talk) 17:41, October 1, 2010 (UTC)

Wiki's

Hep please help me with my wiki's!!!!! Here are the links. Clone Trooper wiki: http://clonewar.wikia.com/wiki/Special:MyHome, and Star Wars cheats: http://starwarscheats.wikia.com/wiki/Star_Wars_Cheats_Wiki. Thank in advance. Oh ya um if you can't help could ypu try to get some other people to help me out, please. --Capt.Scout20px Officers Report. 10:51, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

  • Sorry, but I don't have the time to invest in another wiki myself, and I'm not going to spam other users' talk pages to try to find users for you. Good luck with your wikis, though. Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 16:11, October 3, 2010 (UTC)

Threats of the Galaxy image

Hi, quick question for you...

In Threats of the Galaxy there is the following image: Click Here If you are able to find it, could you please tell me what is the entry/information (if any) in regards to this image.

Thanks for your help. Coruscantfan 19:03, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

  • It's just used as a supporting image for the book's generic police officer character template on page 69. There's absolutely no information on the specific character that is depicted, and the accompanying prose makes no reference to any specific police organization; it only contains a brief, generic description of what a police officer does along with a bunch of game mechanics. There's nothing useful for our purposes. Let me know if you have any further questions. Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 20:38, October 5, 2010 (UTC)

Stone

Could you give this article a pre-nom review, a word-count and a copy-edit. Feel free to edit the page. I won't touch it until I recieved your answer. Thanks in advance. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:55, October 9, 2010 (UTC)

Done. Objections:

  • "In combat, he wore a Phase I clone trooper armor painted in the brown colors of his unit, the Coruscant Guard. In combat on Florrum he was equipped with two DC-17 blaster pistols.": "In combat" is repetitive here.
    • Fixed.

Ratts

Hey MJ, have you actually started your copy-edit of Ratts Tyerell yet? If not, I actually just finished my copy-edit (I started shortly before you put on the Inuse tag and as a result didn't see it). If you have already started, then no worries, carry on. :) Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:11, October 9, 2010 (UTC)

Tracer

Could you give Tracer a copy-edit, pre-nom review and a word count? Thanks. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:34, October 13, 2010 (UTC)

Vult

Could you give Vult a copy-edit, pre-nom review and a word count? Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:28, October 16, 2010 (UTC)

Bokar and Yuln

Could you please give both a copy-edit and review? I think the word-count is such that I can get them GA'd. Thanks in advance.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:17, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Done. No actual objections to either one, but a comment on Yuln:

  • "She questioned Bokar about the Sith that had perished in the fighting, after Bokar claimed that the deaths of so many Jedi and Imperial Knights proved that the Sith were superior to both Orders." I think this would flow a little better in chronological order, but I have no problem with it the way it is now if you prefer it that way.
    • Took your suggestion, thanks. :)—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:26, October 21, 2010 (UTC)

Otherwise, excellent. Bokar is ~358 words, and Yuln is ~329 words, so both are good for GA. Let me know if you have any questions. Master Jonathan 20px (Jedi Council Chambers) 20:20, October 20, 2010 (UTC)

Sith Diplomat talk

Thank you for doing that. I was trying to figure out how to do it while posting it. OLIOSTER (talk) 03:42, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

RE: Archiving nominations

  • Yes, sorry. I thought about that after I had already done it, and was going to go about it, but you had already started. A momentary lapse, won't happen again. OLIOSTER (talk) 03:47, October 20, 2010 (UTC)