Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mixer

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mixer

(4 ACs/5 Users/9 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Good job on your first GAN. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:07, April 10, 2020 (UTC)
  1. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 06:41, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  2. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:03, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
  3. OtterSurf (talk) 10:26, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  4. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:05, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
  5. ComicalNinja [Talk] 18:48, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Be careful of overusing commas. Keep up the work, though! MasterCommerce GuildFredcerique 21:57, June 23, 2020 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:07, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 06:54, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
  9. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:36, 5 February 2021 (UTC)

Object

Spooky
  • Several redirecting links, which should be fixed.
  • The intro doesn't need to be referenced, because the article has a body.
  • 21 BBY cannot be directly determined from the episode only, and would need an additional reference note.
  • Per the Layout Guide, the initial air date of the episode needs to be added and referenced. The entire BtS cannot be sourced to "ARC Troopers", either, since the first part of about "Voyage of Temptation".
  • Please resolve the missing backup links.
  • Personality and traits is unsourced.
  • There's also some overall underlinking in the biography, if you comb through it and solve that.—spookywillowwtalk 17:10, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated. --TK-462 (talk)
      • There is no release date for the episode, still.—spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! It's good to go now. --TK-462 (talk)
          • The OOU air date needs a separate reference other than just the "Voyage of Temptation" page- it can't be sourced to the episode alone. What I mean is to pull the air date from a source like the episode guide or tv.com.—spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
            • I answered my previous question, I got that cleaned up and the air date is now referenced correctly --TK-462 (talk)
  • You're in Category:Infoboxes with missing parameters.
  • Human, as the species, is infobox-exclusive.—spookywillowwtalk 03:57, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. --TK-462 (talk)
      • 'Human' is still intro exclusive. Should be mentioned in either the biography or P&T, as well.—spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the P&T, I'm fairly sure him being 1.83 meters tall, or the colors for his hair, skin, and eye color can't be sourced to the episode alone. Likely, need to be pulled from elsewhere (probably, the databank entry used for those same things in the infobox)—spookywillowwtalk 01:34, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I can't believe I've missed it for that long! Thanks for the catch. --TK-462 (talk)
UberSoldat
  • Phase I clone trooper armor can be added to Equipment.
  • Since there are only two paragraphs in the biography, the sections are unnecessary.
  • 501st Legion is currently exclusive to the infobox. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Mentioning the 501st and Redeye in the Personality and traits is unnecessary, 501st can be moved to the biography. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:43, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • You'll need make a number of corrections to the date reference. First, Galactic Atlas does not mention the event that involves Mixer's death, so you will need to remove that from the first sentence. Second, you need to use the chronological episode order to confirm that Voyage of Temptation is set between the Ryloth battle and the conspiracy. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:41, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Updated, both references have been added. I'm a bit iffy as to how they should be worded, but I believe the content is clear. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Good, now you need to combine them into one reference. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:13, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • There we go! Hopefully that sets it up to par. --TK-462 (talk)
          • I've made a few tweaks. but good job overall. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • I would suggest reworking the paragraph structure. You have a big paragraph right after a paragraph with two sentences. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:27, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • Is there any reason I shouldn't just combine them into one paragraph? I guess that first paragraph could just be removed, but I feel that it adds a bit of clarity so the reader doesn't have to comb through the references quite as much. --TK-462 (talk)
      • I counted 8 sentences in the Biography. Perhaps you should split them into 4 sentences each, it would help with readability. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:42, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Grand Army is intro-exclusive.
  • You can't say Mixer was assigned to the 501st between 21 and 20 BBY. He could've been assigned before that point in time.
  • Height, hair, eye and skin color are infobox-exclusive.
  • Redeye being assigned to the same team should be mentioned in the first paragraph.
  • His dialogue towards Redeye could be detailed in the biography as well.
  • You should explain why Redeye disappeared and how Mixer was unaware of his death initially.
  • Him trying to contact Redeye is another quote that can be added to the article. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:04, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • What if I added the quote at the beginning of the page to Personality and traits, and switch it with the one where Mixer is trying to contact Redeye? --TK-462 (talk)
    • All of the above edits have been done. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Physical traits need to go under "Personality and traits". UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:44, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Whoops! That's my bad. --TK-462 (talk)
          • Great. You may have noticed that I added links where possible. Underlinking is a valid objection, so you'll need to keep that in mind for future nominations. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:52, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • I did, thanks for checking my work. I just double checked the links in the bio and was able to knock out a couple that had been linked twice, that should be all there is. --TK-462 (talk)
  • R2-D2 will need more context. Who does he belong to? Why was he there in the first place? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 04:07, April 7, 2020 (UTC)
    • It took rewatching the episode, but I've reworked the bio so the order of events is actually correct now, and I was able to add another quote to give some more depth to the page. I think that should clear that objection up?--TK-462 (talk)
      • It would still be better to list Skywalker as the droid's owner, as he was also on the ship. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:24, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
        • Gotcha. Assuming I don't have to list off a bunch of Skywalker's titles, it should be good to go. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Going through the article again, you can definitely expand on what happened after Mixer's death, specifically Skywalker, Rex and Cody's investigation.
  • In relation to the above objection, you should list who led the escort team. This would make the mention of Skywalker's droid later in the paragraph fit more into place. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:01, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I added a new paragraph detailing the escort's response, I think it ties things together better. I also added the escort team's leaders in the first paragraph to add continuity throughout the page. --TK-462 (talk)
  • "Redeye was then spooked by R2-D2, but found nothing of note." I would remove this since it doesn't involve Mixer at all.
  • You mention in the last part of the second paragraph that the droids were smuggled by Merrik, but this should be made clear with the first mention of the assassin droid.
  • The quote at the top of the page needs to be combined into one sentence, since only Mixer is speaking. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As he continued his search, an SD-K4 assassin droid attacked and killed Redeye." You should also make it clear that Mixer was completely unaware of what happened to Redeye. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:55, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • All three above have been updated, thanks for catching those. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Hopefully this is my last objection: "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. The trooper then moved to Redeye's last known location, where he found his DC-15A blaster carbine, but Redeye was nowhere to be found." I would suggest rewording this to improve the flow of the sentences. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:29, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • I think that should work a little bit better. --TK-462 (talk)
  • There is enough space for an image now. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:45, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added. --TK-462 (talk)
      • Don't you think it should be an image of Mixer surveying the area, or being attacked by the droid? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 03:42, April 9, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm having some trouble finding one in an official source, the one I uploaded was the best I could find from the episode guide. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Gonna have to rescind my vote, sorry (there are already too many non-AC votes). The revised date note still needs more work. Scum and Villainy does not use the BBY/ABY system, so you need to explain how you convert that book's dating system (C.R.C.) to the one used by Galactic Atlas. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:28, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Actually, Scum and Villainy's dating system is in question, so just go back to the original date note. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 16:39, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per precedent, date and location of death can be put into the same reference. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:22, 9 December 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • Similar to my objection for Kosmos, the Databank reference needs to include a manual reference note to explain how it relates to Mixer. Zed42 (talk) 01:06, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. --TK-462 (talk) 01:38, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Regarding the TCW date note, that StarWars.com chronology does not mention the Battle of Ryloth or the Mandalorian black market conspiracy at all, it only dates the TCW episodes that feature those events. So you should clarify this in the reference note like this one, for example.
    • Fixed. Since I don't have the GA, I found two major events that were as close as possible to the episode chronologically to reference. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Based on the infobox image alone, I think you can say that the trooper's armor featured built-in comlink in the Equipment section.
  • Unless there is a source that explicitly says Mixer showed this behaviour, I think the bit about withstanding any combat stress is not relevant to this article. There are many traits shared by all clone troopers (growth acceleration, behavioral modification biochips, etc.), and those specifications belong in the clone trooper article. Just mentioning the clone's fundamental traits (eye color, gender, homeworld, etc.) should suffice for this article.
    • Makes sense, it's been removed. TK-462 (talk) 22:03, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) Per our Manual of Style, articles shall use the serial comma as standard. You can read more about it here if you like. I've fixed it for you, but please keep this in mind for your future nominations. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:12, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the Biography section, Kamino being located in the Outer Rim cannot be sourced to that reference note. You should either add another reference for that, or expand the current note accordingly.
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 01:12, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • Actually, this new source you've added, the Databank entry for Kamino, states that the planet was located "beyond the Outer Rim," which suggests that the information you've got there is incorrect. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:21, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, thanks for catching that. After reviewing a couple similar GAs, I just removed any mention of the Outer Rim altogether, as there wasn't really a concrete location other than it's direction in relation to the OR. TK-462 (talk) 16:39, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) There is no need to add links to disambiguation pages in the in-universe sections of an article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:32, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • The P&T image is colliding with the Equipment header. I suggest resizing, relocating, or removing it.
  • I think the first quote's audio can be cropped better so it's only the quote itself, not a couple of seconds of random thumps.
    • I don't know that I'm able to fix it due to my computer, but I'll see what I can do.
      • Audacity is probably the best option, but if you're on Mac like me, I find an application called MixPad Multitrack Recorder to work just as well.
        • Good to know, thank you. I'll see what I can do. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
          • Have you managed to handle this objection yet? Tommy-Macaroni 17:19, May 17, 2020 (UTC)
            • It is fixed. For future reference, I used TwistedWave, which is available without download and worked pretty well for my purposes. TK-462 (talk) 19:52, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Would it be possible to get a better source for the episode's release date? The current one is okay, but the link itself is obviously obsolete. A live link is preferable.
    • I can't actually see the release date on that link.
      • I've been looking around, and the only other source that has been used in GAs is the Legends sourcebook from 2013. I've changed it back to the original reference as I can't find a more suitable one. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for the Coronet in the intro.
  • "Mixer was a human clone of the bounty hunter Jango Fett who hailed from the planet Kamino." - It's unclear if the Kamino bit is referring to Mixer or Jango.
  • Context for the Clone Wars in History.
    • Should I give a date for when it began? I combed through a couple of other GAs and didn't really see anything that varied from the context I gave it. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Unidentified Galactic Republic regiment (Teth) is a good example for this.
  • Do written sources capitalise "Duchess" when it's written without an accompanying name?
    • I didn't have much to go off of, but I don't think that there would have been any reason to based off what I saw. Same rules apply as military ranks it appears. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Indeed.
  • "Mixer attempted to contact his comrade, but to no avail. Mixer proceeded" - Two consecutive sentences starting the same is discouraged, please vary this wording.
  • "Still, Redeye was nowhere to be found" - This is kinda informal, and also unnecessary imo. If Redeye's body was with his gun, it would have been mentioned already.
  • "but was also ambushed by one of the assassin droids smuggled on board by the traitorous Senator Tal Merrik" - Could this context for the assassin droids not be put when you introduce the subject with Redeye's death?
  • I feel like the term "clone trooper" is used kinda late in the body. I think this should be mentioned a lot earlier, if not the first sentence of the history.
    • "Mixer was a human clone trooper of the bounty hunter Jango Fett" - This now reads like Mixer was under the direct ownership of Jango.
  • Maybe it's just me, but I don't think joking about the dark is really a "dark sense of humor" (aside from the pun I've just noticed). Like, the dark isn't a particularly controversial or taboo topic. I think you ought to just say "a sense of humor."
    • ...fixed :( TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm assuming it's a wrist comlink? If it is, you can be most specific instead of just saying "affixed to his armor."
  • "His arm plates and helmet bore unique blue stripes marking him as a member of the 501st Legion." - I think you can be a little more descriptive about the armour markings, considering that's really all that makes this guy visually unique.
    • "blue stripes crescent markings" - This is grammatically incorrect.
    • I'd also say it isn't "unique," as that clone on Kamino also had these markings per the BTS. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
      • Oh, good point. I've fixed it now. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Like all clone troopers in the series, he was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker." - I don't think the former statement can be sourced to this one episode. I think wording it like "As a clone trooper, Mixer was voiced by Dee Bradley Baker" or something could work. Tommy-Macaroni 12:57, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above objections, except a couple I noted. TK-462 (talk) 23:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should never link to disambiguation pages in an article body. It is correct to use [[Duke|duchess]] as I did. Also, please make sure to link to subjects upon their first mention.
  • Links should be specific on their first mention, then get more general. Eg, Nau'ur-class yacht, then yacht. Duchess of Mandalore, then Duchess. Pipelinks are fine for this too, eg, Nau'ur-class yacht can be pipelinked to just yacht, and indeed it should be in the intro. Please fix this.
  • Please make sure you pay attention to what I did in my copy-edit, so the mistakes I fixed aren't made again. Upon their second mention, clone troopers should be formatted as [[Cloning|clone]] [[trooper]]s.
  • When pipelinking, the link is always capitalised. For example, never do [[cloning|clone]]. Tommy-Macaroni 09:27, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above four objections, and thanks for the help on some of the linking stuff. TK-462 (talk) 03:05, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think for an article of this length the intro can be expanded. You can add more detail from the History, and even parts of P&T and Equipment.
  • Per precedent on clone articles, you should format the name as "Mixer" in the infobox, the first mention in the intro, and the first mention in the body. Subsequent mentions in the intro and body should just be as Mixer. See 1 2 3 examples.
    • Check again. Tommy-Macaroni 11:45, June 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • Gotcha, missed the infobox. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 19:23, June 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • In both the intro and body, you need to introduce "Mixer" as a nickname. Tommy-Macaroni 18:32, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above three objections. I may have erred on the side of excess information in the intro, but if you feel it's too much I can trim some. TK-462 (talk) 20:25, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • For the biography, while I appreciate your efforts to create a subsection, you shouldn't have some information under a subsection and some the regular section. In this case, all information in the biography should exist under a subsection. I think we could have the first two paragraphs (up to "began their sweep, accompanied by Skywalker's astromech droid, R2-D2.[3]") under something like "Early service" and the latter two under something like "Death," although other titles could certainly work. Tommy-Macaroni 20:34, June 9, 2020 (UTC)
    • I divided it again, hopefully the flow has improved. TK-462 (talk) 01:02, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Vitus
  • It should be noted that Mixer's customized look was also utilized by a contingent of clone troopers during the Battle of Kamino in ARC Troopers, when Obi-Wan and Anakin are together fighting in the city.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 18:01, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • That's noted in the BTC, but I didn't add it to the main article as it didn't seem relavant to the article. TK-462 (talk) 21:23, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Okay, additionally I'm thinking you should make note in the BTS that there were several clones who used his armor design, since the way it's worded it can't be known whether it appeared on one person or several.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:45, May 14, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ah, good point. Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 02:15, May 15, 2020 (UTC)
ComicalNinja
Toprawa
  • For starters, I'd say the Biography has enough content to be organized into four paragraphs, which will in turn allow for a neat division of two subsections of each. This will also allow for an additional quote, if available. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 04:41, May 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's not really any applicable quotes, but I readjusted the current ones to be a little more applicable to their locations. I did make the bio into four paragraphs, but it didn't make sense to me to have it split right in half, given that Mixer's appearance consisted of one scene that didn't require any sectioning. TK-462 (talk) 01:11, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
      • I would suggest joining our IRC or Discord channels so that we can expedite conversation with regard to this nomination. It looks like there's quite a bit of basic information for article nomination and formatting that needs to be explained you, which isn't practically done through nomination pages like this. Real-time conversation is much easier and preferable for this. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:17, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
        • Will do. I don't have access to Discord currently, but I'm trying to be as active as possible on the IRC despite work and college classes. TK-462 (talk) 16:19, May 30, 2020 (UTC)
          • Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 13:49, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • The article sources some details to "Voyage of Temptation" that I would like confirm can actually be supported by that episode and don't need a separate source:
    • Does the episode say that Anakin and Obi-Wan are Jedi Generals?
      • Yes. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • The Coronet being a Nau'ur-class yacht. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:05, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Fixed the referencing. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • The article only details that the yacht is New Mandalorian in the intro. This will need to be added to the Bio, but can it also be supported by the episode?
      • Thanks for catching this. I couldn't find anything stating that the Coronet belonged specifically to the New Mandalorians, so I removed the mention for clarity. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
        • I'm not sure I understand. The New Mandalorian mention remains in the Bio, sourced to a different TCW episode. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:21, September 22, 2020 (UTC)
          • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 17:51, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
  • The first Bio paragraph would do well to explain that the escort team is guarding against an assassination attempt by the Death Watch. The intro explains this well, but the Bio doesn't slip this in until the second paragraph. It would help to explain upfront that this is the specific reason why Mixer and his team are there. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:12, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 06:40, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • The intro refers to the Coronet as "her" (Satine's) yacht, which is not reflected in the Biography. Is this detail correct? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:20, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • Thanks, I missed that (clearly). Starships and Speeders conveniently references it being Satine's. TK-462 (talk) 03:32, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
      • This referencing appears to be problematic: "aboard her Nau'ur-class yacht" is sourced to Starships and Speeders, but the term "aboard" specifically applies to Mixer's mission and cannot be sourced to that book, which does not mention him. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:37, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
        • I've referenced it to VoT once again, thank you. TK-462 (talk) 03:48, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • "'Mixer' was the nickname of a clone trooper" cannot be sourced to the Databank. It's alarming how many statements in this article are not referenced correctly. I would strongly recommend going back and combing through this article word by word to make sure everything is referenced accurately. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:11, September 25, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've combed through and done my best to reference the article correctly, it should be fixed now. TK-462 (talk) 01:34, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • Kamino being an "extragalactic planet" is extraneous detail to this character and is unnecessary to mention. Worse, it introduces an extra ref note, which serves nothing but to make the reading experience less smooth. Just remove that. Kamino being a planet can be sourced to that DB entry.
  • None of this can really be sourced to "Voyage of Temptation," which doesn't explicitly depict the Grand Army or show Mixer fighting against the CIS. The article would do better to word this as saying he was created on Kamino to serve the Grand Army in its fight against the CIS during the Clone Wars. "...Grand Army during the Clone Wars against the Confederacy of Independent Systems." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:35, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above objections. TK-462 (talk) 23:08, September 28, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Mixer was part of a Republic escort team led by Jedi Generals Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker that was tasked with guarding Duchess Satine Kryze of the planet Mandalore aboard her Nau'ur-class yacht, the Coronet." There are some crucial details missing here. Why has Mixer and the escort team been sent to protect her? Where is the ship going? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:32, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 02:54, September 29, 2020 (UTC)
  • Where does the episode say that she's traveling "to refute claims of her affiliation with the Death Watch." It says she's going to plead her case for neutrality in the war.
    • Per Imperator's note on another nomination, I'll just note that this objection has been addressed. TK-462 (talk) 05:27, 7 December 2020 (UTC)
  • And where specifically does the episode say she's traveling to Coruscant? The beginning of the episode merely says she's traveling to plead her case before the Senate. We know, of course, that this is on Coruscant, but if the episode doesn't say this, then your referencing doesn't work. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:32, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've updated the referencing and wording to reflect this. TK-462 (talk) 15:28, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Two things here. Firstly, I think it would be better for the article to just say "to plead for her people's neutrality before the Galactic Senate." Because she notes in the episode that she represents whatever number of countless star systems, not just Mandalore: "...to plead Mandalore's neutrality before the Galactic Senate"; and secondly, just remove the end of that sentence about Coruscant as unnecessary detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:24, October 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • Makes sense, fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:38, 25 October 2020 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The fact that Merrik is plotting to kill Satine is intro exclusive. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • You need to mention Mandalore is a planet. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think certainly the first, and maybe the second, body images could be cropped to cut out a lot of the empty dark space. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is there not a quote for the first body section? It could be a general quote about having clones sweep the ship or something. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, June 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above. TK-462 (talk) 20:34, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
  • The new quote reminded me that you should mention Death Watch in the article since they're the ones the clones are patrolling to search for, plus Merrik is a member. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah, good point. Added to intro and body. TK-462 (talk) 03:37, July 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Per recent discussions, we shouldn't include clone troopers' eye or skin colour unless it's shown. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:13, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ignore this for now as it's still under debate. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:42, July 2, 2020 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • For the lead quote, are you sure it's accurately transcribed? My copy of TCW has it as "All right, men. What's the problem? I'm missing dinner." "We're not sure yet, sir. But there's still no sign of Mixer and Redeye." This also raises suspicion that the other quotes in the article need to be re-checked for accuracy.
    • This isn't completely fixed. The lead quote, yes, but the rest of the quotes need to be re-checked. I just checked the episode again and all three remaining quotes are wrong in one way or another. 1358 (Talk) 14:36, July 14, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don't have access to the episode directly at the moment, and I couldn't find any sources for an episode transcript other than the one I'd previously used, which is clearly incorrect. Do you or anyone reading this have a better source online for this? TK-462 (talk) 02:06, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Will you have access to the episode directly anytime soon? Being able to access the source material is a prerequisite for nominations. If this was a matter of a minor punctuation error, this wouldn't be a big deal, but there are major errors that don't even require the script or subtitles to discover—namely, the first bio quote. 1358 (Talk) 09:47, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
          • Got it. I don't have Disney+ at the moment (that's changed since the beginning of this nomination... it's been a while), but I'll try and access source material within the day. TK-462 (talk) 13:47, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
            • Sorry for the wait, this is fixed. TK-462 (talk) 20:18, July 25, 2020 (UTC)
              • You need to re-check the quote in "Ambush aboard the Coronet" for wording and the PT quote for punctuation. 1358 (Talk) 08:22, August 12, 2020 (UTC)
                • PT quote is fixed, but I looked at the subtitles on Disney+ and didn't see any issue for the ambush section. TK-462 (talk) 03:37, August 13, 2020 (UTC)
                  • In my copy, it's "What do you got, Redeye?" and indeed it sounds like he says "do" rather than "have" when you slow it down. Does Disney+ think it's "have"? 1358 (Talk) 12:46, August 24, 2020 (UTC)
                    • Disney+ subtitles do use have. I'm inclined to keep it that way because it's using better grammar, but I'm not sure which source takes precedence here. 03:21, August 26, 2020 (UTC)
                      • I'm going to put the subtitles thing to rest hopefully. I have reset all the quotes back to how they appear in the subtitles on the blu ray, which is where I took the audio files from. Disney+ only gives the option for Closed Caption English subtitles for the hearing impaired, which are often less accurate. I think when there are slight differences in punctuation for a quote, we should default to the blu ray over Disney+. Case in point, the blu ray has the bio quote as "What do you got, Redeye?" which clearly matches the audio. The Disney+ closed caption ones use, "What have you got, Redeye?" - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 04:41, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
                        • Thanks, JMAS; agreed that blu-ray is preferred. Sorry for the delay with the objection. 1358 (Talk) 10:06, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • The second intro sentence is really a long run-on and needs to be split for better flow.
    • Fixed the above objections. TK-462 (talk) 14:21, July 10, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like you could cut down on the context a bit in the second intro paragraph. Mixer is barely mentioned.
    • Although Mixer isn't directly mentioned terribly often, I don't feel that much can be subtracted without missing important points. However, The final sentence seems like it wouldn't be bad to remove, I'd just rather have a second opinion. TK-462 (talk) 14:21, July 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • For instance, there is no need to mention that Rex was the one who attempted to contact them after their deaths. You also mention the plot on Kryze's life a whopping three times in the intro.
        • Ah, my bad. My mistake, I was looking at the second bio paragraph. How does that look? TK-462 (talk) 02:06, July 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • More to come once these are addressed. 1358 (Talk) 21:23, July 9, 2020 (UTC)
There's no south in space
  • Why are you referring to the Nau'ur-class yacht as a "spaceliner" in the intro? Those two are not the same thing, and it's not supported by the article's body. Imperators II(Talk) 06:01, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • According to the references on the Coronet page, the Star Wars Encyclopedia of Starfighters and Other Vehicles classifies the as a "luxury spaceliner." However, the Nau'ur-class yacht page classifies it as a yacht and uses an FFG reference. I assume the Encyclopedia would take precedence here assuming there's an inconsistency, right? TK-462 (talk) 17:57, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • For future reference, you should be checking the information in the articles you nominate against the sources yourself or via another user who has the source, not against a Wookieepedia article. Please do so. Imperators II(Talk) 18:10, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • Alright. The Encyclopedia specifically classifies the Coronet as a luxury spaceliner, so I believe that using spaceliner as a descriptor is accurate. TK-462 (talk) 18:41, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
          • Do it, then. Standardize it. Imperators II(Talk) 18:47, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
            • After looking into this a bit more, I believe that yacht is a more accurate and widely used term for Coronet, so I fixed it that way. TK-462 (talk) 06:48, September 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does Dee Bradley Baker voice all the clone troopers in the series? If so, you should reword the "as a clone trooper" bit in the BTS to something like "like all clone troopers" with appropriate referencing. Imperators II(Talk) 06:01, September 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. TK-462 (talk) 17:57, September 16, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 03:36, 5 February 2021 (UTC)


UberSoldat
  • If you haven't already, enable "Highlight all redirects orange" in Preferences (under the Gadgets tab).
  • I'm gonna figure out how to reference 21 BBY. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:13, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Great, thank you for the tip! --TK-462 (talk)
      • Ok so for 21 BBY, you will have to replace the timeframe with "between 21 BBY and 20 BBY." The chronological episode order places Voyage of Temptation after the end of the Battle of Ryloth and before the Mandalorian black market conspiracy. Star Wars: Galactic Atlas places the former in 21 BBY, and the latter event in 20 BBY. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 05:40, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
        • Okay, I'll change that on both of the places where it's referenced. I can still reference those dates to the episode, yes? -- TK-462 (talk)
          • Nope, you will need to write up a reference explaining why episode takes place in that timeframe using the sources I listed above. There are plenty of existing Good articles you can use to understand how date references are written. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 14:30, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
            • Will do, we'll see what I can find.
              • Another thing, make sure to leave a message below the objections once you've finished addressing them, otherwise the nomination will be taken down if they're left unaddressed for 10 days. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:03, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
                • Awesome, thanks for helping me through this. I'll note yours once I've finished the referencing. --TK-462 (talk)
  • I would strongly suggest familiarizing yourself with the rules for nominations. You cannot strike other users' objections. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:51, April 6, 2020 (UTC)
    • I read that right after I did it... sorry about that. --TK-462 (talk)
  • Just a heads up, I've replaced the reference for the air date with the old episode guide, since the new ones do not have the air date in them. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:53, April 8, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you add an {{Imagecat}}? I didn't notice this until now. I can show you how to do it if you're new to this. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 16:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
    • I've never done it before, from what I can tell I have to add individual images to the category the template is referencing. I would love some help, if you wouldn't mind. TK-462 (talk) 17:10, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • Done. It's basically {{Imagecat|Images of [Subject name]}}. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:26, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
        • Oh! That easy. Thanks for the help as always :) TK-462 (talk) 17:28, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
Deviss
  • Although not an objection, I think sound files for the quotes could greatly improve the quality of the article. Other than that, I see no problems. --CommanderDeviss327(talk) 21:01, April 14, 2020 (UTC)
    • I'll work on figuring this out in the future, thanks for the heads up! TK-462 (talk) 17:22, April 20, 2020 (UTC)
      • There is nothing wrong with the sound quality of the audio files. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 04:36, September 13, 2020 (UTC)
Lewisr
  • It looks like you can definitively place his death in 21 BBY, Star Wars: Scum and Villainy: Case Files on the Galaxy's Most Notorious dates Boba's Sabotage of the Endurance to 7956 C.R.C (21 BBY). Also the Atlas dates the second battle of Geonosis to 21 BBY if you'd rather use that than the Zillo beast episodes as it narrows the gap between the episodes, though that's up to you! --Lewisr (talk) 02:19, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
    • Awesome, thanks for letting me know! I've updated the reference note to make the window of time where Mixer was involved as specific as possible, thanks again for the heads up. TK-462 (talk) 04:08, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
      • No worries! Nice job --Lewisr (talk) 13:51, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
        • Apologies for messing you about with this, but since we've just discovered that we can't definitively say that the numbers in Scum and Villainy refer to years, we'll have to change his death date back to what it was. Sorry once again! --Lewisr (talk) 16:40, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
          • No worries, it happens. Let me know if it needs to be changed again for any reason regarding that book or otherwise. TK-462 (talk) 18:16, June 10, 2020 (UTC)