Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Hoclaw

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Hoclaw

  • Nominated by: Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:24, 8 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:Been far too long since I've done a nomination. For WP:Novels

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 01:59, 29 May 2021 (UTC)
  2. OtterSurf (talk) 07:43, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 07:18, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
  4. ACvote UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:35, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. ACvote OOM 224 ༼༽talk༼༽ 13:14, 2 July 2021 (UTC)

Object

Macaroni
  • Duplicate links.
    • Done.
      • Links that are present in the body should not be linked in quotes.
        • Removed.
  • Name should not be bolded in body.
  • Species is infobox-exclusive.
    • Done.
      • Can be mentioned in the intro as well.
        • Added.
  • Can the dates be sourced straight to the novel?
    • It can, the novel itself contains a page noting the timeline placement of each novel in the series.
      • Just to clarify: does it use ABY dates?
        • Yes it does.
  • Bts should not regurgitate information from the sources section.
    • Done.
  • Bts should mention author of the novel.
    • Added.
  • Abridged audiobook should be checked for a mention/appearance. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 01:29, 8 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Homeworld/Legends should be linked in the body and then removed from the image caption.
    • Done.
  • You can increase your image sizes.
    • Adjusted.
  • Release month for the novel is not necessary. Once you can remove that, you can just source the whole Bts to the novel itself. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 03:59, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Her being a Corellian is intro/infobox exclusive.
    • Fixed.
  • Can Corellian system be sourced to the novel?
    • Yes, got multiple mentions.
  • "Hoclaw nonetheless kept Solo occupied for some time, debating with him points such as the cost of rebuilding." Rebuilding what?
    • Per below, the novel doesn't specify.
  • "...what portion Corellia would be obligated to pay." What are they paying for? JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 22:44, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
    • The novel actually doesn't specify, Leia overheard them discussing it, but the conversation itself is cut off, aside from the quote I've listed. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 23:21, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
  • I would mention the date somewhere in the intro.
  • You mention that Leia and Jacen were on the Anakin Solo--were they not at the same location as Hoclaw? If so, that should be mentioned earlier on. Also, some context is needed for the Anakin Solo. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 17:52, 14 May 2021 (UTC)
    • Context added, along with a mention earlier of the meeting taking place via holo. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 00:31, 26 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Date note should mention Hoclaw, her death, and her location of death. See Winshur Bratt as an example. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 03:22, 24 May 2021 (UTC)
Erebus
  • Welcome back to the GAN, SE! First off, there are a few things I've noticed on the article.
    • You could work the Death section into the Biography section, seeing as how it's part of his history.
      • Done.
    • In the Death paragraph, is the use of "Unfortunately" from you or the novel? Erebus Chronus (Talk) 02:14, 8 May 2021 (UTC)
      • I've changed that to something more appropriate. Thanks for reviewing. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:53, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • Unabridged audiobook should be added. The audiobooks should also be formatted in accordance with the Layout Guide. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:26, 8 May 2021 (UTC)
  • If she hails from Corellia, wouldn't that make her a Corellian?
    • I've added a mention in the intro, and already have her noted as Corellian native in the body.
  • The date needs a note.
    • What do you mean? The novel itself places the events of the book in 40 ABY.
      • Using the Galactic calendar? Just making sure. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:47, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
        • That's correct. The novel contains a timeline at the beginning that dates the events as 40 ABY. Supreme Emperor (talk) 23:36, 10 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Context for Jacen Solo and Leia Organa Solo.
    • Added.
  • "She was sent by Sadras Koyan, the Five World Prime Minister, as the head of a decoy fleet, sent to lure Jacen Solo into an ambush near Centerpoint Station, under the pretense of peace negotiations with the authority to negotiate a settlement, if possible." Feel very much like a run-on sentence.
    • Broken up.
  • "However, Solo refused this suggestion outright, indicating it was not on the table." "On the table" is an idiom here, which is generally avoided in formal writing.
    • Generally yes, however this was the term used by Solo.
  • Using "this" in in-universe text is frowned upon. "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."
    • Changed.
  • I don't believe we use GrS dates in the infobox anymore. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:26, 9 May 2021 (UTC)
  • Info about Hoclaw in the Biography is sourced entirely to the date note. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:25, 30 June 2021 (UTC)
Imp
  • Please switch to using a manual date ref using The Essential Reader's Companion to date the novel's events, per ample status article precedent.
  • Since the P&T doesn't mention at all the fact that Hoclaw commanded a Victory Star Destroyer, I find that image to be somewhat distracting and unillustrative there; please remove it.
  • We should be running like hell from using in status articles as poorly-edited images as the Corellia one you're currently using is, especially when there are several beautiful alternatives. Imperators II(Talk) 18:33, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
  • The infobox of our Centerpoint Station says that it was armed with a hyperspace tractor beam. Is this the same repulsor weapon you're describing here?
    • Fixed.
      • In this case, though, I believe that you should reference the weapon's name to a different source, though.
  • The intro claims Hoclaw's efforts at stalling Solo failed, but the body doesn't actually support this. You should note that Solo made it out of the ambush alive.
    • Added a note of both his and the Anakin Solo escaping.
  • The location (deep space) is infobox-exclusive.
    • Added.
  • Please add context for the Confederation.
    • Done.
  • You should be consistent about whether you use the definite article with Centerpoint Station or not. What do the sources say?
    • Removed the.
  • Swarm War is not directly mentioned in Fury. Is it an {{Imo}}?
    • I've just removed that part.
  • Second Galactic Civil War, on the other hand, is intro-exclusive.
    • Added to the body.
  • So did the entire meeting happen over holocam transmission? Would that mandate the use of {{Hologram}} in Appearances?
    • Holocam yes, but not hologram.
  • You mention "rebuilding" both in Bio and P&T, but what is that rebuilding from?
    • The novel doesn't specify, likely any damages from the Second Galactic Civil War, but I don't want to speculate. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 19:21, 8 June 2021 (UTC)
      • I seem to recall, though, that the entire conflict partially arose due to Corellia's refusal to help with the rebuilding after the Yuuzhan Vong War. Is this not touched upon in the novel? If not, what about the prior novels in the series? Could the negotiations in Fury be a continuation of the same?
  • It feels to me like more context for the Centerpoint Station is in order. Its location in the same system as Corellia, its armament with its superweapon, and its operational status should all be briefly described close to where you first introduce it in the Bio.
    • Added some context on what it was and it's location, I think the mention of it's operational status is fine where is, but let me know what you think.
  • I feel like the "While she was never meant to reach a peace agreement with Solo" statement from P&T is at odds with the "had the authority to negotiate a settlement if possible" bit from the Bio.
    • Seems that way, that's how the novel presents it. She had the authority to negotiate a settlement, but was never expected to get one. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 00:29, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing some more pieces of information in Hoclaw's CSWE entry that should all be incorporated:
    • It specifically says that Hoclaw was given command of the Valorum when Corellia joined the Confederation.
    • It also establishes that the goal of the ostensible negotiations was to discuss Corellia's return into the GA's fold.
    • It's mentioned that Solo expected to meet with Koyan personally, not just any higher-up officer.
    • Finally, the entry also says that Hoclaw "wasted little time" in demanding that Solo step down. Imperators II(Talk) 21:52, 6 June 2021 (UTC)
      • All done. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 01:47, 19 June 2021 (UTC)
        • Just want to confirm: is this last bit actually supported by the novel?
          • Yeah, based on how the novel presents the negotiations, the request to step down did come fairly quick. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 03:44, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
  • The bio is now beefy enough for it to be further subsectioned, which will most probably allow you to squeeze in another quote. Imperators II(Talk) 17:30, 20 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Re-added the Death section, along with a quote. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 19:19, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
      • The first Bio paragraph is still too long, but I'm seeing a natural breakpoint at "Though initially surprised..." If you could split that and also avoid the one-paragraph Death section, that'd be nice. Imperators II(Talk) 19:35, 29 June 2021 (UTC)
        • I've split it there and pushed the latter part under the death section. Better? Supreme Emperor Holocomm 19:55, 29 June 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  1. As an fyi, I should be back home in the next two days, all objections will be addressed after that. Supreme Emperor Holocomm 15:58, 21 May 2021 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 13:14, 2 July 2021 (UTC)