Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Garth Breise (third nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Garth Breise

  • Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 12:32, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Let's do it this time!

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:14, July 16, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • My objection from 00:24, February 20, 2019 still stands. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:02, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
    • Don't worry, I checked it out and it was Danni. OtterSurf (talk) 16:29, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
      • Your word is no longer good enough. I'm going to repeat this passage from my February 20 objection: You're going to need to quote for me whatever passage from the book this is coming from so I can be assured it's accurate with respect to Garth Breise. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:35, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
      • I should clarify also that I want to see page and/or chapter numbers here so this can be verified. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:42, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
        • Page 24. It's actually stated from no particular viewpoint and I need to amend the article accordingly. Sorry, my mistake. OtterSurf (talk) 17:50, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
          • This is the last time I'm going to say this: Show me the exact passage. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:55, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
            • I had just finished writing it when you edited! Blast it. Here it is again: "The others of the station thought it was simply "newbie" excitement, the feeling they had all shared when they first arrived that the extragalactic signal could happen at any time". There you go. OtterSurf (talk) 18:04, June 22, 2019 (UTC)
            • Here's the link as well: [1]OtterSurf (talk) 07:42, June 24, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
  • Breise seems important to Yomin Carr's history. Have you checked the Sources of the latter's article for possible mentions of Breise? TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 01:01, June 28, 2019 (UTC)
    • Yep. No other mentions. OtterSurf (talk) 07:52, June 28, 2019 (UTC)
  • Could you please show me the exact passage from The Essential Reader's Companion that includes the indirect mention of Breise, as suggested in the Sources? I can't seem to find it myself. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:18, July 3, 2019 (UTC)
    • That was added before I started editing the article. If there is no indirect mention you can find, I'll remove the source. OtterSurf (talk) 08:45, July 3, 2019 (UTC)
      • Even if it was there before you started editing the article, you should have checked all the sources if you are going to nominate an article. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:27, July 3, 2019 (UTC)
  • Isn't there anything more to add to the article from The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia? As far as I can see, there are at least two entries that mention Breise. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 21:27, July 3, 2019 (UTC)
    • Nope. The CUSWE says even less than what's here already. OtterSurf (talk) 08:30, July 4, 2019 (UTC)
QGJ
  • The section "A dark discovery" is full of compound sentences connected by —. Can you vary your sentence structure a bit here?
  • According to his description in the articles, he also belongs in Category:Engineers
  • P&T Most individuals are continuously referred to by full names. This is unneccessary, since you've already introduced them. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:17, July 15, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
Spooky
  • I'd like to see context for Extragalactic Society.
  • I think this article would benefit from an Equipment section. He had access to the tools necessary to build a connector for the control tower, and also carried a blaster on his belt when he went up the tower.
  • I'd like to see mentioned in the history that he consumed ryll with Bensin, which resulted in him being unsteady when the signal came in.
  • First paragraph {chapters 2, 5}
    • "...rookie ExGal member Yomin Carr detected an unusual object entering the Helska system and impacting with that system's fourth planet" - Carr wasn't the one who identified the object; the initial occurrence was identified by Danni with Carr coming in after, and then Breise assisted with studying the results and reported that it was the Helska system's fourth planet; so that needs to be rewritten.
    • "Breise was quick to praise Carr..." I think that interaction should be expanded; praised for what? (because it wasn't for detecting the object, because Carr wasn't the one who did that)
    • "had been closely observing that point in space." It doesn't really say he closely observed it, though? He'd been there and knew about it, but that doesn't equate to closely observing it.
  • It can be noted that Breise came to work at the outpost between 22 ABY and 25 ABY; using the date note for 25 ABY that is already on the article, and the fact that Danni was an original member of the crew that had begun the set up of the place, and she had been there three years.—spookywillowwtalk 01:44, January 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • This article is currently 1,060 words by my count, thus being too long for a GA.—spookywillowwtalk 16:15, January 11, 2020 (UTC)
    • Then I'll have to put it in for FA. OtterSurf (talk) 16:32, January 11, 2020 (UTC)
      • Imo, there's still enough work to be done that there's no way this will get shorter, so I'd recommend you ask someone to take it down.—spookywillowwtalk 16:33, January 11, 2020 (UTC)

Comments