Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Dorotsech

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Dorotsech

  • Nominated by: Winterz 12:47, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I believe it complies with all requirements so would like to try. If I don't succeed well at least I'll know what is wrong and may improve it. It has around 400 words.

(0 ACs/4 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Good work handling all the objections.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:04, June 15, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Nice. Cumulonimbus Cloud (Meeting Room) 01:21, June 16, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Good work, Winterz, like I said, don't get discouraged. Keep it up, and you will do fine.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:36, June 16, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 22:15, June 16, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Objections, objections…
  • Hey, you should kill the redlink in the intro.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:22, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • A P&T section would be good, too. It can be short, considering he doesn't look like he says much. Also, see if you can get a at least 1 quote, from either himself, the apprentice, whoever.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:28, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. However a confusion came up and I had to switch a few details...(it was Lord Grathan and not Skotia who captured him) so now there's another red link in the biography..should I take care of it?Winterz 17:49, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
      • You can, though it's not extremely necessary now.
  • Since I haven't played the game, it seems to me, going by what is stated in the P&T, that Nox is the apprentice who slew Dorotsech. If this is the case, please mention it in the bio.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:10, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • In the future, you might want to watch the linking, as it's a good idea to link to an article at the first opportunity. Don't get discouraged, because criticism is a good thing, and serves to help you become a better editor. If you need some assistance, I and others would be happy to provide advice.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:14, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • Argh I had it linked to Darth Nox but for some reason, I unlinked it. Either way, it's fixed now. So..anything else until I gain your support? Winterz 18:23, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • Reword the paragraph in which Dorotsech encounters the apprentice, ex., Dorotsech encountered Zash's apprentice… and so on. The article is cenetered on Dorotsech, not the apprentice.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:37, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • The intro conflicts with the bio, ie, "He was being held captive by Lord Grathan until Darth Nox came to retrieve his creation... vs. The apprentice on his infiltration through Lord Grathan's estate, eventually found Dorotsech and retrieved the weapon. Please correct.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 18:40, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • I'm afraid I don't see the conflict there ?! Anyways I've rephrased it. Check it out. Winterz 19:46, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • If the quest was only available for one class please mention what class that was in the Behind the scenes section.
  • You need to add a personality and traits section to add anything about the character's mannerisms, appearance, and any notable features of his personality. This includes the information about his hair color, eye color, and skin color.
    • You should mention his mustache and that he is bald.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:51, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
      • He's only partially bald, how should I write it?Winterz 17:26, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
  • Anything in the article's introduction should be mentioned in the body of the article. On a related note, the introduction should probably be expanded.
    • Grathan's estate should probably be mentioned in the introduction.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:51, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. It is getting a bit repetitive though. Winterz 17:26, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
  • I look it over again once you're through with these. Good for you for going ahead and nominating a GA. Don't feel bad if their are a lot of objections on your first one. While this article will require a fair amount of work, I think it will be a good learning experience for you. Just stick with it and you will do fine.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 13:38, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done, done and done. However, is the physical description really necessary in the P&t section? Winterz 17:51, May 21, 2012 (UTC)
      • Well I added it anyway Winterz 00:59, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
  • I haven't got that far in the Sith Inquisitor class, but is the character known as Darth Nox at the time of his/her encounter with Dorotsech. If not, please say something like "the apprentice of Lord Zash".
    • Well actually he was mentioned by the alias Kallig once but then someone decided to change him to Darth Nox(in the Wookiee article) and so did I, at least in the intro. Either way, done.
  • Does the game describe him as middle-aged? If not I don't think you can say that he is middle-aged, since he might have just lost his hair young.
    • Changed to adult to avoid any speculation. Winterz 17:26, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
    • I removed it entirely, since people aren't adults their entire lives, the common practice is to not mention it unless he the individual is obviously a child or is very old. In any case, the character should not be refered to as an adult at the start of the biography.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:14, May 28, 2012 (UTC)
  • "However, neither his brilliant mind nor his weak personality were able to save him from Nox's lack of compassion, and the scientist was killed right where he stood." I don't think that mentioning his weak personality is necessary, you already mentioned his lack of bravery and it doesn't really fit here.
  • Is the cyber-neutralizer for use against droids or cyborgs? In the biography is seems to be cyborgs, but in the P&T is seems to be droids. If its both please make that clearer.
    • Well I mentioned in the Biography that it "can" be used against Cyborgs but the weapon was mainly for using against droids, which I've wrote in the artifact's article. Winterz 17:26, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
  • Its looking better, keep up the good work! Also if you can obtain more quotes that would be nice.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:51, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks. About the quotes, well that was the only one worthy among his 4 or so lines. Winterz 17:26, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
      • I added a quote to the Biography section that seemed good. What do you think?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:14, May 28, 2012 (UTC)
        • It looks great, thanks. Winterz 15:15, June 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • I played through the quest and found out some more information:
    • He had a wife and children.
    • He owned an astromech droid.
    • The scientist didn't give the apprentice the weapon he merely told how to find it and power it.
    • Lord Zash commissioned him to make the weapon.
    • He wanted to know as little about the Sith plans as possible.
      • Done. Winterz 15:15, June 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • Also, you need to fix the redlink in the introduction.
      • Will do it ASAP. Winterz 15:15, June 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • The approximate date for the game is approximately 3643 BBY. I changed the date in the infobox and sourced it. Please mention the date in the body and use the same source.
    • Actually, EJ, most WP:TOR people have been using the date 3641 BBY, since the game is two years long. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 13:52, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
      • My mistake.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 13:56, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
        • And in my look-over, I removed that explanation in the ref tag, since it's assumed that the game occurs during that time. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 14:00, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • After playing throgh the quest I think this should be all of my objections.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:14, May 28, 2012 (UTC)
    • And I thank you for it. I've been a bit busy with exams and all but your objections should all be fixed by the end of this week. Please, look into the article and see if there's any grammatical mistakes. Winterz 15:15, June 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • In the introduction, you should clarify that the estate belongs to Lord Grathan. The way it is right now it could be taken to be Dorotsech's estate.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:02, June 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. Now if you don't mind and if this you last objection, I'd like you to sign in the Supporters because time is short. Winterz 18:49, June 15, 2012 (UTC)
Bigger Leo
  • Alphabetize categories.

  • Good work. I'll let the others finish with the objections. P.S. Got my first nom. here too, should see how many objections I have. Cumulonimbus Cloud (talk) 00:43, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks, done. Winterz 00:59, May 23, 2012 (UTC)
Dr. Andonuts
  • Can you give the date in the intro?
  • "capable of developing a highly effective weapon against droids all by himself." Against droids? People with 50% cybernetics aren't droids. This doesn't seem quite correct; can you fix it?
    • The weapon was developed to destroy droids. However it could also work against partial droids aka cyborgs, though it wasn't exactly lethal unless the majority of the body was made of cybernetics. Winterz 20:34, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
      • If the weapon has a purpose (to destroy droids), can you mention that when the weapon is introduced in "Biography?" Menkooroo 21:28, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
  • Does the date of 3641 BBY come from The Old Republic itself? I'm asking because of what Trayus says here. Menkooroo 05:57, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
    • That specific date in that specific dating system does not come from the game itself. At various points, it states that the war ended several years prior, but never a specific number or years, and never in the BBY/ABY dating system (for obvious reasons). The date of game events comes primarily from the developers themselves, as noted here and in other game-era articles. Best practice would be to use a citation such as that when sourcing anything to the 3643 BBY date. Good job on the other stuff, by the way. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 06:14, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
      • Great, thanks for the clarification. Winterz, you're probably best to use a reference similar to the one to which Trayus has linked; I know it's confusing, so if you need any help at all, let me know! Menkooroo 06:23, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
        • Well that was removed and inserted several times over... Seeing that it's not exactly stated as "established" yet shouldn't I just leave it be? :< And thanks for the grammar corrections. Winterz 20:34, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
          • The date should remain. It gives readers a clear point of reference, which is important in encyclopedic entries. The Cold War was about a decade long, so it's good to be as specific as possible, especially when we have a workable date from an official source. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 20:40, June 25, 2012 (UTC)
          • Winterz: Per the discussion here, the two sources you need are The Essential Atlas and this forum post, since since the latter dates the game at "around ten years after the treaty" and the former says "treaty is in 3,653 BBY." Putting these two sources together gives us an approximate date for the events of The Old Republic, so be sure to say something like "around 3641 BBY" or "approximately 3643 BBY."

            You can use two references if you want (eg [1][2] together), or you can combine them into one reference like Trayus has done here. If this is too confusing, just copy the code that Trayus used, but change it so that it refers to the events discussed in Dorotsech's article. Does this make sense? Menkooroo (talk) 04:09, June 27, 2012 (UTC)
  • FINAL UPDATE: I hope that my previous post made sense. If not, just copy the code here to source the date. And make sure to say "c. 3641 BBY" or "around" or "approximately" or something. Cheers. Menkooroo (talk) 04:17, June 28, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. Please check it out to see if it's all correct seeing that I had to make some changes as the one you sent me had Jedi Knight class mentions. Winterz (talk) 22:11, June 29, 2012 (UTC)
      • Good job. The date will need to be sourced in the biography, too. Also, still wondering about my second objection up at the top: If the weapon had a purpose, I think that that purpose (ie, to destroy droids) should be established as soon as the weapon is first mentioned in the bio. Kinda weird to not mention what the weapon's purpose is until the Personality and traits section. Make sense? Menkooroo (talk) 21:26, July 3, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • "Dorotsech was held captive by Lord Grathan": why, exactly? To make the weapon? If that's the case, I would recommend rewording this part so that it's clear, i.e. "Dorotsech was held captive by Lord Grathan to make the" etc.
  • "until Lord Zash's apprentice came to steal the scientist's creation": why? Please specify here too.
  • "instead of being set free with the condition of remaining silent about who had stolen the weapon": this is a little awkwardly worded. I would suggest saying clearly that he pleaded for his life from Zash's apprentice, if that's the case.
  • Pretty good for your first nomination! Please make sure to look through the changes that I made in my copy-edit to see what you can improve next time. In particular, {{Ref}} should only be used within templates like infoboxes, not for the entire article. I'll give this another run-through to make sure everything is good once the above objections are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 03:31, July 18, 2012 (UTC)
  • Also, if the TOR forum reference is used to cite his approx. date of death in the infobox, the same needs to be done in the biography section. CC7567 (talk) 04:08, July 18, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

  • Hey, just wanted to let you know about the new system of references and sourcing that Trayus and I have been developing. I went through and changed the refs to match the system, but otherwise I can't see anything EJ missed. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 14:00, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
    • Ye I noticed your edits and I was aware of the that system you guys developed but I've been rather busy with exams and all so I have to look into EJ's latest objections later. Or maybe solve them out today. And thanks but please notice that this is more a comment not an objection or am I wrong?! Winterz 15:02, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • Woops. Yeah, feel free to move it to the comments. I'm on a phone at the moment, so its a little hard to do the move myself. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 16:16, May 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • IMPORTANT NOTE: Unfortunately for lacking time, I've decided to give up on this project(as I'll only be available in September or October). I'm sorry for the trouble I may have given and thank you all for the constructive criticism and support! Thanks and sorry, you may remove it. Winterz (talk) 18:40, August 3, 2012 (UTC)