Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of Birgis

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Battle of Birgis

  • Nominated by:OtterSurf (talk) 14:00, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:49, November 4, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Tommy
  • Do you have these sources?
    • Yes. Wouldn't have been able to write this much if I didn't. OtterSurf (talk) 14:13, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • Duplicate links. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 14:04, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
  • You need to change the galaxy link to Legends. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:08, October 11, 2019 (UTC)
Fan
  • In the first sentence of the body, you make it sound like the briefing itself is part of the arrangement, not the actual battle. Please reword. Fan26 (Talk) 14:08, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've added some subheadings as well. OtterSurf (talk) 14:24, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
      • The briefing typically belongs under a prelude section. Fan26 (Talk) 14:30, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
        • Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 16:03, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
          • Now you've made it sound as if Fett's arrangement with the Vong included the blackmailing.Fan26 (Talk) 16:14, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
            • Fixed. OtterSurf (talk) 16:23, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
              • The first sentence of the body still makes no sense. You start by describing an agreement between two groups that are nominally allies, then move to the machinations of an agent of one of the groups without explaining what the agreement actually is. The next sentence describes an attack planned as part of the agreement, but it's confusing in the context of Anor's machinations. Please fix all this. Fan26 (Talk) 16:32, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
                • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 16:41, October 10, 2019 (UTC)
                  • "In return for sparing the Mandalore sector during the invasion, Anor coerced Fett into serving them" This still needs to be reworded. Anor is not coercing Fett so the Mandalore sector will be spared; Anor is promising to spare the sector in exchange for Fett's service, as I understand it. Fan26 (Talk) 14:08, October 11, 2019 (UTC)
                    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 16:08, October 11, 2019 (UTC)
                      • Apologies it has taken so long to get back to this. Fan26 (Talk) 19:46, November 1, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
QGJ
  • A bunch of infobox-exclusive stuff:
    • Yuuzhan Vong empire is infobox-exclusive.
    • Boba Fett's rank of Mandalore is infobox-exclusive.
      • No, I pipelinked it. OtterSurf (talk) 19:55, October 19, 2019 (UTC)
        • Ok, my bad, I missed that. Still, I think it's better to establish that Fett and "the Mandalore" are the same person earlier on. Currently, the last sentence of "prelude" can be interpreted as talking about two different people. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:59, October 23, 2019 (UTC)
          • Done as best I can. OtterSurf (talk) 16:02, October 23, 2019 (UTC)
    • "Starfighters" and "Early warning craft" are also not mentioned as New Republic forces within the article text.
    • On that note, what are "early warning craft", anyway? Aren't they also starfighters or repulsorcraft, both of which you already have listed?
      • The term is used in the ebook, but I agree with your point. Removed. OtterSurf (talk) 19:55, October 19, 2019 (UTC)
        • Looking at the passage mentioning that term, I actually think that it's important to mention in the article that the Birgis authorities expected a Yuuzhan Vong assault, and were dispatching those early warning craft. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:59, October 23, 2019 (UTC)
    • Civilian casualties taken as slaves. The Yuuzhan Vong's intention to take slaves is discussed in the prelude, but you do not establish that they actually did take slaves in the aftermath.
      • Never actually confirmed, so removed. OtterSurf (talk) 19:55, October 19, 2019 (UTC)
  • Prelude: 25 ABY can't be sourced directly to the e-book.
    • The date is given shortly before the battle, and New Holgha occurs three months into the invasion, which would still be in 25 ABY, so yes it can. OtterSurf (talk) 19:59, October 19, 2019 (UTC)
    • To elaborate: the rendezvous takes place in 25 ABY, and the Birgis operation is five days after. OtterSurf (talk) 09:25, October 20, 2019 (UTC)
  • I believe that there is enough information about the unidentified pilot for an article to be created and linked to.
  • The article could use one more image, preferrably placed in "The battle" section.
  • The capitalization of the battle's name in the BTS implies that it's not a conjectural title.
  • Have you checked The Essential Reader's Companion? There might be a mention of the battle among the recap of A Practical Man. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:34, October 18, 2019 (UTC)
    • Didn't even realize that was an applicable source. In any case, I don't own that book so I can't check. OtterSurf (talk) 19:48, October 19, 2019 (UTC)
      • I've checked it myself; there's no mention. I do advise you to get a hold on that book if you plan on nominating subjects from Legends novels, since it pretty much covers the entirety of Legends books and is likely to contain mentions of many major plot points. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:59, October 23, 2019 (UTC)
        • Thanks! I'll look into it. OtterSurf (talk) 15:53, October 23, 2019 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • The Unidentified pilot isn't linked in the intro like it is in the body. UberSoldat93 (talk) 21:16, February 7, 2020 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • You source the date of the battle to different sources in the infobox and body. Which is correct? 1358 (Talk) 09:47, March 1, 2020 (UTC)
    • Both state the date. I have gone with the Atlas for consistency. OtterSurf (talk) 09:50, March 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • As per MOS, grammatical articles such as the should not be placed within pipelinks.
  • "...with the New Republic forces. New Republic ground forces were wiped out..." This doesn't flow very well, with the two consecutive instances of "New Republic forces". See if you can reword the latter sentence a bit.
  • In the Prelude, I actually think you should give some more context for the Yuuzhan Vong invasion. Right now it's not very clear if the meeting took place before or after the Vong revealed themselves to the rest of the galaxy. Something like "In X ABY, the extragalactic Yuuzhan Vong something something appeared. During a rendezvous..." 1358 (Talk) 17:57, March 10, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Objections idle for 10 days. 1358 (Talk) 09:45, March 21, 2020 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 09:46, March 21, 2020 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:57, March 21, 2020 (UTC)