- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Ssk Kahorr
- Nominated by: IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 02:03, September 8, 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Cannibal lizards ahoy!
(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)
Support
Chack Jadson (Talk) 00:10, September 19, 2009 (UTC)- Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:08, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
- -- —Harrar (Cut the comm chatter) 18:54, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
Please watch your comma usage. — Fiolli {Alpheridies University ComNet} 00:46, November 3, 2009 (UTC)- -- Darth Culator (Talk) 04:25, November 20, 2009 (UTC)
Object
Maybe add an "External links" section with a link to his entry in the CUSWE? That seems to be good form around here. The code would look like this: CUSWEID|23865|Ssk Kahorr 'cept with { brackets around it.Menkooroo 03:38, September 8, 2009 (UTC)- Handled it. Feel free to make such additions yourself in the future; the spirit of the FAN page is one of cooperating to make sure articles are the best they can be before moving on. We call making simple changes oneself the {{sofixit}} clause. Graestan(Talk) 13:03, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
- I didn't want to impose, but I guess a simple addition like that would hardly be imposing. Menkooroo 22:18, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
- Handled it. Feel free to make such additions yourself in the future; the spirit of the FAN page is one of cooperating to make sure articles are the best they can be before moving on. We call making simple changes oneself the {{sofixit}} clause. Graestan(Talk) 13:03, September 9, 2009 (UTC)
Just one thing: When the CSWE refers to Kahorr as "ancient," I don't believe it means he had lived a long life. Rather, it seems to point to the time period in which he lived in relation to the "modern" era of the galaxy (i.e., Old Republic era is ancient when compared to the Rebellion eras and beyond), because the Jedi Exile is also referred to as "ancient" in her entry in the CSWE.Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 22:49, October 4, 2009 (UTC)
- Addressed. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 18:35, October 12, 2009 (UTC)
- Harrar
Two consecutive sentences begin with "However," in the intro, which reads poorly.- Addressed.
"As a young Cha'a, Kahorr devoured his hatchling-mates, an event that taught him to enjoy one's success by knowing how hard it is to earn." "The best way to enjoy one's success is to know how hard it is to earn. I didn't devour my hatchling-mates for nothing, you know." This and the navigator's guild quotation both need at least some re-phrasing; the article's too short for people not to notice that they're word for word. I'd also suggest changing up the P&T repetition of the "hard to earn" thing a little.- I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by this, but I believe this is addressed.
- Yeah sorry, wasn't that clear in retrospect. I just meant that using the same wording from quotations in the prose was awkward, but you've addressed this, thanks. -- —Harrar (Cut the comm chatter) 18:54, November 1, 2009 (UTC)
- I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by this, but I believe this is addressed.
- Good work. There isn't enough devouring in Star Wars. -- —Harrar (Cut the comm chatter) 00:25, October 26, 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 04:45, November 20, 2009 (UTC)