Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Lazerian IV

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Lazerian IV

  • Nominated by: DFaceG (talk) 19:53, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • Date Archived: 07:10, 30 March 2023 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 3861 words (497 introduction, 3264 body, 100 behind the scenes)
  • Word count at nomination time: 3860 words (495 introduction, 3265 body, 100 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:43, 20 October 2022 (UTC) (Note my copy-edit)
  2. BloodOfIrizi Sabine Starbird (talk) 13:08, 24 October 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Great work, welcome to the FAN! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:28, 6 December 2022 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:06, 2 March 2023 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Any objections from myself were brought to Discord. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 22:30, 26 March 2023 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 07:10, 30 March 2023 (UTC)

Object

VergenceScatter
  • You should add an inhabitants section. The information currently in the government section should be there instead. VergenceScatter (talk) 21:20, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
  • There is infobox exclusive information, such as the length of day and strength of gravity. VergenceScatter (talk) 21:25, 4 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Fixed. DFaceG (talk) 04:05, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
      • There's still infobox exclusive information about the population and the gravitational strength. VergenceScatter (talk) 04:09, 5 April 2022 (UTC)
Imp
  • Please take care of redundant linking in the article. If you haven't already, you can enable the "Highlight duplicate links in articles" gadget in your Preferences, that should help you. Imperators II(Talk) 08:23, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Duplicate links removed. DFaceG (talk) 18:37, 13 April 2022 (UTC)
  • I'm seeing the "proseline" anti-pattern—the beginning of each paragraph beginning with the formula "in date X, Y happened"—consistently feature throughout the article. Please try and rephrase the paragraphs to introduce some compositional variety. Imperators II(Talk) 18:25, 19 April 2022 (UTC)
    • Attempted a fix, let me know if it is sufficient. DFaceG (talk) 06:22, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • While the New Republic was indeed formed in 4 ABY, for all we know the events of Twin Stars of Kira related to Lazerian IV could have occurred in the same year. Please revise, including that subsection title. Imperators II(Talk) 22:14, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • Seeing many instances of "considered" and "known to be" and other similar words. I want to confirm if the wording is in fact supported by sources, otherwise you need to specify who it's "considered" by as per said sources.
    • The instances "considered" were removed as they were essentially outright confirmed to be fact by the source. Any remaining instances of "believed to be," "thought to be," or likewise are confirmed by the source to be a matter of opinion in-universe, and where it isn't stated whose opinion that is in the article is where the source does not provide that information either. DFaceG (talk) 09:04, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Man-made locations like cities go into Locations; Description is for natural characteristics, per Layout Guide.
  • Any description of inhabitants is also reserved for Inhabitants (e.g. the island chains being inhabited and Lazerian/Akwin info).
  • "many strangers with glowing blades of different colors, that cut through anything with great ease.". Is the comma there from the source itself? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:43, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
    • Yes, I can confirm that the comma is present in the source. DFaceG (talk) 09:04, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Seeing some un-sectioned info in Inhabitants. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 10:32, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Please ensure Ref 10 is fully linked; each reference note is treated as a separate entity in this regard.
    • Added links. DFaceG (talk) 04:28, 4 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Alarik X.
  • Dovin Maur is introduced as a Human male on his second mention, when it should be established upon his first. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 19:30, 3 June 2022 (UTC)
  • Context for Bakura.
  • Last one I could spot: Please clarify in the BTS that "canon" refers to the Legends continuity. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:04, 8 June 2022 (UTC)
  • I've been shown that the 70 BBY note can be greatly simplified. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 09:00, 9 June 2022 (UTC)
Thrawnchiss7
  • In ref number 10, you refer to the founding of the Kira Run, but the only thing you are using ref 10 to source is the current date of galaxywide newsnets. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:27, 19 October 2022 (UTC)
    • The reference explicitly mentions the founding date of the Kira Run. It is formatted as it is both for the sake of converting the date from GrS to BBY/ABY. - DFaceG (talk) 18:33, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
      • "Several small shipping companies dedicated themselves to servicing the Kira Run[8] in 0 ABY,[10]". You are only using ref 10 to date the when the shipping companies serviced in Kira Run. Yet in ref #10, while you do date the founding of the Kira Run, you also say "The article also refers to the founding of the Kira Run decades prior to its publication, which would have occurred decades prior to the Battle of Yavin." How is this relavent to the reference, when the only thing ref ten is doing is dating the founding of the Kira Run to 0 ABY. ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:11, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
        • I can see the confusion and agree the excerpt spanning "The article... Battle of Yavin" is no longer necessary. The reference was once used to cite the original founding of the Kira Run as well, before a reference with a more precise date was found. While the references' usage was changed, the content of the reference was not updated to reflect this. I have now rectified this. - DFaceG (talk) 19:23, 20 October 2022 (UTC)
shazil
  • intro
    • is there a reason why Human is capital?
      • Human is capitalized in Legends. In fact, thank you for mentioning this because I noticed that I failed to do so in the rest of the article. - DFaceG (talk) 18:25, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
  • body
    • mention what Acorvus is, it's unclear if it's a moon or a planet or something else
      • Fixed. - DFaceG (talk) 18:25, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
    • can quotes be added for the first two subsections in the description?
      • No more out-of-universe quotes are really available. - DFaceG (talk) 18:25, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
        • Sorry, meant in-universe. - DFaceG (talk) 18:26, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
    • specify what Lazerians are (people, species, animals etc.)
    • should King and Queen be capitalized? Or is that intentional
      • Fixed. - DFaceG (talk) 18:32, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
    • is the Imperial marine biologist relevant enough for his own page?
      • As the extent to which they are mentioned in the article is the extent to which they are officially mentioned in the source material, I don't believe they are notable. - DFaceG (talk) 18:32, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
        • Scratch that, deemed notable per Discord. - DFaceG (talk) 19:32, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
    • same with Kever's house, needs a page if relevant enough
      • Since we know enough about the house, I would say it's notable. - DFaceG (talk) 18:32, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
    • missing link to lightsaber BloodOfIrizi Sabine Starbird (talk) 17:34, 22 October 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • "It was known for its extensive history" -- any elaboration as to who knew it for this?
    • Rephrased. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • "A battle involving several Jedi once occurred at the site of a ruined outpost, but it was destroyed" -- the "it" here sounds like the battle was destroyed instead of the outpost.
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • "The Akwin recalled seeing 'many strangers with glowing blades of different colors, that cut through anything with great ease.'" -- I don't see a need to quote this entire thing, you can just paraphrase part or all of it.
    • Rephrased. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Is the eccentric noble notable for an article?
    • Per Discord, yes. Link added and article written. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Ref 10: I don't believe you need to explain how the GrS system works, you should be able to just link Template:YearMathGRS.
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • "King" should usually only be capitalized when being used as an individual's title (see WP:MOS#Ranks and titles). Is that that not the case here?
    • Fixed. Should note the section titled "For the honor of King, planet, and Empire only still has it capitalized due to the section title being a direct quote.- Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Why do you have quotes around bloom? Maybe that's just the normal word to describe whatever happens to the crystals?
    • Source also has quotes around it. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • "It was determined that the explosion was done professionally" -- by whom? Is it known? Same goes for "It was believed that rising through these classes"
    • Both rephrased. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Is the Lazerian army notable for an article?
    • Already exists at Lazerian army. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
      • Ah, missed that it had been linked.
  • {{CSWECite}} should be removed since the article subject has its own entry (ie just list CSWE).
    • A bit confused by what you mean by this. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
      • Further addressed on Discord, fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:35, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • Review note: here's my copy-edit, it's mostly wording stuff and removing extraneous commas - definitely pay attention to the latter in the future. Otherwise, nice job for a first FAN! JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 02:59, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
    • Thanks, looks good. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
  • The page for TSOK makes it seem like we know which author specifically did the Lazerian IV section - if so, you should add that to the bts. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 08:20, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
    • That's already in the BTS, sourcebook says John Terra. Not sure what the Twin Stars of Kira article says but it's not exactly an up-to-date page. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 20:18, 27 November 2022 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • Given that the body is thirty-three paragraphs long I think the intro should probably be several paragraphs longer, at least six or seven. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:42, 15 February 2023 (UTC)
    • I've added only one paragraph so far, but I'm unsure what else I could add without going too in-depth or recounting the "assumed 100% completion" sections. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 17:59, 16 February 2023 (UTC)
      • Subjects I think that could be covered in the intro include the four continents with one being more independent, the outpost and Jedi battle, and the Valley and crystals. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:25, 17 February 2023 (UTC)
        • Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 00:23, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
  • Was the resort just choosen at random of the three options? If there's nothing that distinguishes it from the other two then I don't think any of them should be mentioned in the body, just the BTS. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:42, 15 February 2023 (UTC)
    • It's only one of the three options provided, yes. I'll move the resort mention to the BTS and just describe the event itself. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:01, 15 February 2023 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
  • Humans aren't native to Lazerian IV and so should be listed as immigrated in the infobox and described as such in "Inhabitants." A better word for native would be "local." Master FredceriqueCommerce Guild(talk) (he/him) 10:52, 26 March 2023 (UTC)
    • Fixed. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:41, 26 March 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 07:10, 30 March 2023 (UTC)

  • Continue from "For the honor of King, planet, and Empire." UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:44, 29 May 2022 (UTC)
  • One change of note has been made since the nomination without the prompting of an objection. The founding of the Kira Run is now dated to 70 BBY, and is appropriately sourced. Feel free to go back and review this addition if you feel the need to do so. DFaceG (talk) 23:21, 4 June 2022 (UTC)