Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Jai Maruk (second nomination)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Jai Maruk

Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:25, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Nomination comments:
Date Archived: 14:13, 7 March 2023 (UTC)
Final word count: 1950 words (290 introduction, 1457 body, 203 behind the scenes)
Word count at nomination time: 1845 words (217 introduction, 1438 body, 190 behind the scenes)
WookieeProject (optional):

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
— Samonic 10:21, 14 April 2022 (UTC)
JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:11, 6 January 2023 (UTC)
Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
LucaRoR ^(Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)
—spookywilloww^talk 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)

Object

UberSoldat

~~Please address the objections left over from the first nomination.~~ UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:56, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Do I just copy the remaining objections from the previous nom here, and address them? Or should I address them on the first nom page? Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:14, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  - Just address them directly, and let me know here when you're done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 13:24, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
    - Fred will have a look when he's free. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
~~Since you have stated that the novel does not provide the exact date, you need to write a note for it. The dates are also currently inconsistent between the infobox and body.~~
- Edited the year to 19 BBY for both infobox and body. Sourced both to New Essential Chronology. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
  - Does it mention Phindar Spaceport? UberSoldat93 (talk) 16:10, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
    - Yes, TNEC mentioned the spaceport. ToRsO bOy (talk) 08:00, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
      - Now that specific date is infobox-exclusive. To my understanding, we only employ rounded dates now. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:05, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
        Rounded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 15:52, 19 July 2021 (UTC)
~~Also per the AC probation page, the audiobook is a simultaneous 1st appearance.~~ UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:16, 17 July 2021 (UTC)
- Edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:06, 18 July 2021 (UTC)

Manoof

Intro mentions Jai was recuperating but no indication he had been injured. There's also no mention of this in the body until you get to the P&T, but is relevant if it affected his fighting ability and was the reason he was on Coruscant during the Apprentice Tournament. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- Added injury mention in the intro and body.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Can probably fit another two images in the P&T and P&A/BTS respectively. Potentially one of the clone wars and one of Dooku/Telekinesis/Assassin Droids but ultimately up to you. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- Added two more photos.ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
  - I made a slight tweak, I should've been more specific around having one image in the P7T section and the other further down. This edit ok (feel free to change the image if there's one that fits better? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 07:26, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
    - The pictures are good with me. Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
Mission to Vjun - Just with the hard-sound guns, do they require two operators and is sonic projectors a synonym for the weapon? This sentence "Leem managed to battle through the pain in her head and destroy one of the two sonic projectors, which allowed Maruk to concentrate and demolish one of the droids bearing the second hard-sound gun." may need rephrasing to make this clearer. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- I've made changes to the description. Let me know if its clearer now. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
"As his hatred of her slowly fueled his attacks, Maruk fell into a black fury half blinded with hate as he drove her back with his flurry." Can this be rephrased to remove the double use of hate/hatred? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- Reworded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
~~Intro mentions that Leem made a silent plea, but body does not make this distinction? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)~~
- Added in the body. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
In P&T, would you be willing to swap the third paragraph (mention of his childhood/teenage years) with the second paragraph (mention of his Clone Wars temperament)? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- That actually does work better. Switched. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
~~Can you mention the Publisher for the game in the BTS? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)~~
- Added. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
~~BTS indicates his forces were also brought to Vjun by Ventress in the encyclopaedia. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)~~
- Reworded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
Just check you're ok with this edit. I fixed some linking issues, but I'd like you to go through and double check your linking, I left at least one canon link and Jedi apprentice linking to the book series but also make sure you're linking as early as you can, whenever you can. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 11:44, 13 February 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks. Will do a double check soon and leave another comment. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:16, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
- Edit looks fine. I just did another look and added another link.ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:55, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
  - Please go through the entire article and double check your links are correct. I got to the second paragraph and found Jedi Apprentice, an OOU novel series as well as two canon links to Jedi Knight and Padawan Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 10:50, 19 March 2022 (UTC)
    - I fixed the Jedi Apprentice link and the Jedi Knight. I've removed the links from Padawan since I used it already for Jedi Apprentice, hope that works. ToRsO bOy (talk) 05:31, 27 March 2022 (UTC)
      - Check this edit as there were still a couple more, a canon link and a link to a disambig page. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 09:01, 27 March 2022 (UTC)

Ecks

I'd say the introduction length is a bit excessive compared to the size of the body; two paragraphs should suffice. See if you can cut down on some unnecessary detail and context (you don't need to give context to Clone Wars etc in the intro really).
- I've removed what I could from the intro but couldn't get it down to 2 paragraphs. You reckon I can just say Yoda and Maruk had a bet without explaining the terms? ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
  - Yeah, you could probably cut down on the terms a bit at least. 1358 ^(Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
    - Intro reduced. ToRsO bOy (talk) 01:04, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
~~Please check your image caption and quote attribution punctuation. The former should have a period when full sentences are used whereas the latter should never have a period.~~ 1358 ^(Talk) 21:26, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
- Half of the work was done by the bot. Added periods on the photo descriptions. ToRsO bOy (talk) 00:05, 28 April 2022 (UTC)
  - Per the Manual of Style, image captions that constitute full sentences need a full stop, but not otherwise. 1358 ^(Talk) 09:01, 9 May 2022 (UTC)
    - Revised. Googled "full sentences" and I'm still a bit unsure if I left the one photo description right. ToRsO bOy (talk) 01:04, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
      - Almost correct. "Druckenwell, Maruk's homeworld" has no predicate and isn't a full sentence, while "Jai Maruk's only visual depiction was in Star Wars: Battle for the Republic" has one. Fixed these for you. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:18, 20 May 2022 (UTC)

How the heck does one pronounce Vjun

~~Just confirming this: does the source actually say he was taken to the temple in his early years, or is that an assumption you're making?~~
- Double checked the source and looks like I assumed. Aren't all candidates taken in their early years except for Anakin? Let met know if it needs to be removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
  - Yeah, I don't think that's an assumption we need to be making. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 05:14, 24 July 2022 (UTC)
    - Removed and reworded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 03:57, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
~~Can you add a date for the start of the Clone Wars? "Broke out" should also link to that first battle.~~
- Added and linked. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
~~"Head of State" is intro-exclusive.~~
- Added ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
~~Checked CSWE myself: 1) does the novel really say nothing of their wager? 2) are you sure that the third paragraph of Mission to Vjun is meant to be sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?~~
- 1) It does, That bit is there as the last paragraph in the "Accepting a Padawan" section. 2) Thanks for spotting that. Yes it should be sourced to the novel. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
~~Images should not be above quotes.~~
- Fixed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
~~Please remove any contraction(s). (eg "couldn't" --> "could not")~~ JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 21:47, 16 June 2022 (UTC)
- Fixed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:04, 26 June 2022 (UTC)
~~Can you show me where either the novel or the CSWE says that Maruk was surprised that Yoda made the wager with him? I'm not seeing it anywhere.~~
- Checked and removed. I must have mentally switched it with him being surprised she won. ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:53, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
~~Can you explain why the paragraph in Accepting a Padawan is sourced to the CSWE and not the novel?~~ JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 02:54, 8 August 2022 (UTC)
- Changed to novel. ToRsO bOy (talk) 13:53, 19 August 2022 (UTC)
~~Equipment section?~~ JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 17:03, 24 August 2022 (UTC)
- Added section, couldn't find a mention of his lightsaber color. ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:06, 2 September 2022 (UTC)
~~Sorry for the delay, should be the last thing, the fact that he died in her arms is intro-exclusive.~~ JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 05:10, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- No worries. Line edited. ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:07, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
  - Yikes, do none of the sources even support that? Be careful not to make up details next time. JediMasterMacaroni^(Talk) 22:34, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
    - Yeah sorry about that. Must have snuck in as a head canon for me after all these years. Will be mindful next time. ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:37, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Ayrehead

You can now implement the new pronouns field and categories. You should also check if any of the sources actually confirm the character's gender as we're no longer assuming gender from pronouns or appearance, just gendered terms like man or male. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added. This is new to me, but he can be considered as a he/him/male from this description right? "He was a private man at the best of times" ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
  - Yup, that sentence works for both. I've also added the Individuals with he/him pronouns category. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:27, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
~~Context needed for Coruscant in the body.~~ Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
~~I think the Limit of Vision should be mentioned in the bio section as well as skills and abilities.~~Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)
~~You can add that he felt a responsibility for his ship and weapon to the P&T based on the opening quote.~~ Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:40, 3 February 2023 (UTC)
- Added ToRsO bOy (talk) 12:34, 4 February 2023 (UTC)

Luca

~~It isn't clear where Yoda is during this mission. If he isn't there with them, I think it should be specified because it's a bit confusing right now.~~
- Added a mention. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:24, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
~~The "Mission to Vjun" section could use a further subsection, in my opinion, and possibly another image and quote.~~
- Split. ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:24, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
  - The two paragraphs now have the same name, which is something we should avoid. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 11:17, 22 February 2023 (UTC)
    - Must have reverted when I changed it. Sorry! ToRsO bOy (talk) 15:16, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
(Review note) Make sure to be ok with my copy-edit. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 09:16, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
- Thanks for all the small changes! ToRsO bOy (talk) 18:24, 19 February 2023 (UTC)
~~Last thing from me, it would be nice if the intro got expanded slightly, as it currently makes up for only around the 10% of the article.~~ LucaRoR ^(Talk) 15:40, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
- Expanded. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:17, 23 February 2023 (UTC)
  - Gave it a little tweak, I hope you're ok with it. LucaRoR ^(Talk) 08:53, 26 February 2023 (UTC)

spookly

From New Essential Chronology: "The two Masterless Padawans located Yoda and continued to Vjun under his protection."—Worth rewording this content and adding it as the last sentence of the biography. Reasoning being that it does specifically mention they continued on as Masterless and ultimately finished the mission, and we do often add legacy-related sections/paragraphs when we can; seems weird to end it off the moment he dies.
- Added. ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:39, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
~~BtS: "Maruk has conflicting versions of his capture by Asajj Ventress..." - The end of this paragraph should note which version that the article assumes is correct.~~—spookywilloww^talk 22:04, 5 March 2023 (UTC)
- I've added a new line as per Master Fredcerique's suggestion. Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:39, 6 March 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Here is an example of how to use {{CSWECite}}. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 13:52, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
- Thank you! I've added it to the article. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:19, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
Objections from previous nomination:

Master Fred

~~"her apparent lack of the Force..." Is that really how the source describes it, or is it more accurately a lack of connection to the Force or Force-sensitivity~~
- Edited it to "her weak connection to the the Force". ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
~~No need to mention the CSWE entry and TERC mention in the Bts' first paragraph. We don't restate the Appearances and Sources sections in the prose anymore.~~
- Noted and removed. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
~~How did you determine the proper way to handle the contradictions mentioned in the Bts? This might be worth noting for the reader.~~ MasterFred(talk) 23:46, 23 February 2021 (UTC)
- I've separated the two contradictions for easier understanding. Not sure if I'm allowed to argue why I believe one source is more believable than the other. ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)
  - I would give preference to the narrative works instead of the CSWE and ERC, and you can just state, "This article considers the events as described in the novel to be the canonical timeline," or something similar. That sentence wouldn't need to be referenced, either. Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 08:47, 6 March 2023 (UTC)
    - Added. Thanks! ToRsO bOy (talk) 16:40, 6 March 2023 (UTC)

Macaroni

~~Please implement {{CSWECite}} in your references.~~ JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:34, 25 February 2021 (UTC)
- Done ToRsO bOy (talk) 14:18, 16 July 2021 (UTC)

UberSoldat93 (talk) 14:28, 16 July 2021 (UTC)

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:12, 7 March 2023 (UTC)