- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Immobilizer 418 cruiser
- Nominated by: ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 16:57, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:First FAnom
- Date Archived: 16:36, 28 June 2023 (UTC)
- Final word count: 1358 words (266 introduction, 912 body, 180 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 1338 words (272 introduction, 927 body, 139 behind the scenes)
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(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)
Support
Nice work! Erebus Chronus (Talk) 01:46, 22 December 2022 (UTC)(Vote struck, reason: Per policy: Blocked user -- Imperators II(Talk) 10:05, 10 May 2023 (UTC))First FAN! Nice! BloodOfIrizi(Vote struck, reason: Per policy: Blocked user -- Imperators II(Talk) 10:05, 10 May 2023 (UTC))(talk) 18:09, 27 December 2022 (UTC)
Object
shazil
intro:context for Kren Blista Vanee- Done -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 17:43, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
do the two squadrons have/require pages that can be linked?- No, they are just two squadrons that where aboard the ship at one point. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 17:43, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
armamments:The projectors contained equipment to pull a multiple of ships out of hyperspace please reword this sentence, particularly "a multiple of ships"- Role: context for Vanee here as well
- History: you can link Moff Wilhuff Tarkin earlier in the first paragraph, and reword the part youve linked him currently in after you've done so
- vanee has already been introduced in the body so last name only
where did Luke free Drusil from? context needed- Done-ThrawnChiss7 (talk)
double checking—does On the front lines date Jakku to 5ABY?BloodOfIrizi(talk) 17:37, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Yes (uses after the Battle of Yavin instead of ABY, but it is the same thing, just not in abbreviated form). -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 17:43, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
couple of duplicate links, ill try to do a more thorough review soon. nice job, and welcome to FAN!BloodOfIrizi(talk) 18:04, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
is there a canon image of the Immobilizer? or anything else that can be used in the infobox? to be quite honest the current infobox image does not display anything related to the ship itselfBloodOfIrizi(talk) 18:22, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- The infobox image is the only canon image of the immobilizer, found in Star Wars: On the Front Lines. It is showing the inflitration of the Glaciate (discussed in the last subsection of the history section). -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 19:06, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
There is far too much context in the intro.- How does it look now? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Doesn't look like you got rid of any, to be honest.
- What items need to have context removed? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Actually, never mind. Sorry about that.
- What items need to have context removed? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Doesn't look like you got rid of any, to be honest.
- How does it look now? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Introduce paragraph splits throughout the whole article, please.- Where specifically? I think it looks rather nice as it is. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Most of the paragraphs need to be split.
- Does it look better now? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Most of the paragraphs need to be split.
- Where specifically? I think it looks rather nice as it is. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
In the infobox, instead of saying it had one hangar bay, you should indicate it was a ventral hangar bay.- Done -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Second sentence of Armament and complement doesn't read well. Please find a way to rectify this.- The sentance has been split. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Does Heir to the Jedi specify what kind of Star Destroyer it was smaller than?Any indication as to what the "many vulnerabilities" were?- Neither are specified. ("shaped like a Star Destroyer" and "The Empire had stopped making these particular Interdictor cruisers becuase of their vulerabilities") -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Then add that it had vulnerabilities to the Role section.
- Its vulnerabilites where it was easier to destroy, added to history (I don't think it is necessary in the Role section) -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Weaknesses need to be documented in the Role section. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:14, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
- Added. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:36, 22 November 2022 (UTC)
- Weaknesses need to be documented in the Role section. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 04:14, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
- Its vulnerabilites where it was easier to destroy, added to history (I don't think it is necessary in the Role section) -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Then add that it had vulnerabilities to the Role section.
- Neither are specified. ("shaped like a Star Destroyer" and "The Empire had stopped making these particular Interdictor cruisers becuase of their vulerabilities") -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Seeing lots of grammatical errors throughout the article.- I caught a couple, what other errors do you see? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 00:09, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
- I can look for the rest during reviews if others haven't gotten to them, yet.
- I caught a couple, what other errors do you see? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 00:09, 11 November 2022 (UTC)
Would like an image in the second subsection of History.- Added. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Its development for the Deep Core Security Zone needs to be mentioned in History.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 17:55, 7 November 2022 (UTC)- "from Blista-Vanee, who was developing the Interdictor for his Deep Core Security Zone." Is this not enough information? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Completely missed it. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:32, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- "from Blista-Vanee, who was developing the Interdictor for his Deep Core Security Zone." Is this not enough information? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Intro should mention in some way that it was the Glaciate that was captured at Jakku, and that there was at least one involved in the battle.Since the Battle of Jakku was fought in space and on the surface, the usage of the naval warfare link is incorrect.The liaison officer is prominent enough to the Immobilizer to be mentioned in the body outside of quote captions. He also seems prominent enough to warrant a page.- Done. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:44, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
Please explain that the security zone was located in the Deep Core region.- I have now done it in the body, I don't think it is needed in the intro. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:44, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
Publisher for the Imperial Sourcebook, please.Was it identified as the Immobilizer in Tarkin originally? If so, the BTS needs to make it clear that its alternative identification was mentioned in that source.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 18:02, 8 November 2022 (UTC)- Fixed. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 18:44, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
The Braha'tok-class gunship challenges
In Heir to the Jedi, it's also specified that the Immobiliser was being phased out in favour of putting the GW projectors in Star Destroyers (see Interdictor-class for how that's handled) does it not?Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:08, 7 November 2022 (UTC)- You are right, I missed that. However ther Interdictor-class Star Destroyer was also a star destroyer with GW projectors so to be neutral shouldn't I refer to just "Star Destroyers"? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- While Star Destroyer is in its name, it's actually a heavy cruiser, whereas the novel talks about putting the projectors into proper SDs. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:21, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
- You are right, I missed that. However ther Interdictor-class Star Destroyer was also a star destroyer with GW projectors so to be neutral shouldn't I refer to just "Star Destroyers"? -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:23, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Vitus
This article needs to be updated with the information from Star Wars: Build the Millennium Falcon 87, specifically the information from the Starship Fact File section. It establishes that the Interdictor-class heavy cruiser was an evolution of the Immobilizer 418.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:35, 7 November 2022 (UTC)- Could you provode the quote that mentions the Immobilizer? I don't have access Star Wars: Build the Millennium Falcon 87, so this would be greatly appreciated. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:39, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Sure. When referring to the the concept of an Interdictor vessel or capturing starships: "The more obvious solution, though a complex one to engineer, was to take advantage of the very systems that made hyperspace travel possible, along with the nature of hyperspace itself— and this is exactly what the designers of the distinctive Immobilizer 418 cruiser, later to evolve into the Interdictor-class, set out to do." Later it says, "The Empire's first prototype Interdictor was based on earlier, less successful Republic designs and built over Corellia. The ship was still untested when called to the Obroa-skai system to attempt to recapture a stolen vessel belonging to Grand Moff Tarkin. Unfortunately, the Immobilizer's systems overloaded, causing considerable casualties that included a number of civilians." This second part has some errors, such as calling the Immobilizer an Interdictor and then correctly calling it an Immobilizer in the next sentence. That should probably be noted in the BTS section. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:51, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much! The additional information has been added. On the inconsistancy, I don't this it is a necessarily an error, it appears that Interdicor is a general term for Interdictor vessel, also used in Star Wars: The Rebel Files (a gravity roiling Interdictor cruiser). -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Sorry it took so long to strike this objection. Very well, thanks for clarifying and great work on the additions. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:27, 4 December 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks so much! The additional information has been added. On the inconsistancy, I don't this it is a necessarily an error, it appears that Interdicor is a general term for Interdictor vessel, also used in Star Wars: The Rebel Files (a gravity roiling Interdictor cruiser). -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 20:34, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- Sure. When referring to the the concept of an Interdictor vessel or capturing starships: "The more obvious solution, though a complex one to engineer, was to take advantage of the very systems that made hyperspace travel possible, along with the nature of hyperspace itself— and this is exactly what the designers of the distinctive Immobilizer 418 cruiser, later to evolve into the Interdictor-class, set out to do." Later it says, "The Empire's first prototype Interdictor was based on earlier, less successful Republic designs and built over Corellia. The ship was still untested when called to the Obroa-skai system to attempt to recapture a stolen vessel belonging to Grand Moff Tarkin. Unfortunately, the Immobilizer's systems overloaded, causing considerable casualties that included a number of civilians." This second part has some errors, such as calling the Immobilizer an Interdictor and then correctly calling it an Immobilizer in the next sentence. That should probably be noted in the BTS section. --Vitus InfinitusTalk 21:51, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Could you provode the quote that mentions the Immobilizer? I don't have access Star Wars: Build the Millennium Falcon 87, so this would be greatly appreciated. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 21:39, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Samonic
One paragraph of History is missing a final reference.Samonic
(Talk) 22:21, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- Missed it when I split the pharagraph (fixed now). -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 13:34, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
"It was crewed with stormtroopers[2] and gunners. " — Only those? No officers or captains?Samonic
(Talk) 08:43, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
- We don't know. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 13:34, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
The BTS image should be removed. Unless the BTS is expanded, some words slip to the left and don't look well. Additionally, the BTS image moves the appearances, which should not happen.Samonic
(Talk) 20:31, 8 November 2022 (UTC)
- sorry to interject here but it doesn't show like that on my screen. the appearances are unaffected and only the final line of text is shifted, could possibly be solved by a slight resizing BloodOfIrizi
(talk) 18:25, 9 November 2022 (UTC)
- sorry to interject here but it doesn't show like that on my screen. the appearances are unaffected and only the final line of text is shifted, could possibly be solved by a slight resizing BloodOfIrizi
Context for the Carrion Spike in the intro eg. that it was a starship/corvette.- The Description section should only describe the ship, not its usage, so the section shouldn't mention that it was used by the Galactic Empire's Navy. You can say that it was the Empire's first Interdictor vessel.
Similarly, the Role section shouldn't mention Vanee or the Deep Core Security Zone. The section should only cover what the ship was designed for or its uses. With these changes, you'll have to move the content you remove from these two sections to History.- Done. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 00:38, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- Done. ThrawnChiss7
Seems like Tarkin's Immobilizer is notable for a page.- We don't know anything unique about it, we don't know any crewmembers or any information beyond what is already on this page. If you feel strongly about it's notability, I will create the page if you wish. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 00:38, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- I think the fact that Tarkin used that particular Immobilizer to test the model is enough for a page. Samonic
(Talk) 12:05, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- Created: Unidentified Immobilizer 418 cruiser ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 12:37, 22 April 2023 (UTC)
- Created: Unidentified Immobilizer 418 cruiser ThrawnChiss7
- I think the fact that Tarkin used that particular Immobilizer to test the model is enough for a page. Samonic
- We don't know anything unique about it, we don't know any crewmembers or any information beyond what is already on this page. If you feel strongly about it's notability, I will create the page if you wish. ThrawnChiss7
"Moff Tarkin assembled his task force in the[1] Inner Rim Territories[9] Obroa-skai system, including three Interdictors: a CC-7700 frigate, a Detainer CC-2200 and an Immobilizer 418, as well as pickets and gunboats." I assume these pickets are picket vessels? You should probably mention that if my assumption is correct.- Tarkin just says "pickets", but clarified anyway. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 00:38, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- Tarkin just says "pickets", but clarified anyway. ThrawnChiss7
The Stellar Rise you're linking to is an Arquitens-class light cruiser that appeared in Galactic Tales: Saber Truth, not a Mon Calamari cruiser.- Don't know what I was thinking, it was the Stellar Vista, not the Stellar Rise. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 00:38, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- Don't know what I was thinking, it was the Stellar Vista, not the Stellar Rise. ThrawnChiss7
For the BtS, you can move the image to the right and split the paragraph into two: one for canon information and another for Legends information.Missing mediacat.There's two canon images of Immobilizers on the Wook. Samonic
(Talk) 20:06, 31 March 2023 (UTC)
- Both fixed. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 00:38, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- Both fixed. ThrawnChiss7
After reading the Legends Immobilizer 418 page, I noticed that the page claims that The Star Wars Rules Companion contains the first mention of the Immobilizer. Also, does HTTE identify the vessel as "Immobilizer 418 cruiser"? I read the book a few months ago and I don't really remember.Samonic
(Talk) 12:09, 5 April 2023 (UTC)
- It was mentioned in The Star Wars Rules Companion as "Interdictor", but it is safe to assume they are the same because it has the same stats as the immobilizer 418 from Imperial Sourcebook. Imperial Sourcebook identified as immobilizer 418 before HTTE came out. As a note, I don't know when they were first Id'd in legends as "immobilizer 418 cruiser", (I've checked a few sources but the earliest i could find was The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia) but I don't think that is super relevant to the canon page on the immobilizer, and I think the legends bts paragraph is good as it is. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 12:36, 22 April 2023 (UTC)
- It was mentioned in The Star Wars Rules Companion as "Interdictor", but it is safe to assume they are the same because it has the same stats as the immobilizer 418 from Imperial Sourcebook. Imperial Sourcebook identified as immobilizer 418 before HTTE came out. As a note, I don't know when they were first Id'd in legends as "immobilizer 418 cruiser", (I've checked a few sources but the earliest i could find was The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia) but I don't think that is super relevant to the canon page on the immobilizer, and I think the legends bts paragraph is good as it is. ThrawnChiss7
Considered state-of-the-art in 14 BBY, Imperial Moff Wilhuff Tarkin used an untested Immobilizer as part of a task force in his attempt to intercept the corvette Carrion Spike in the Obroa-skai system. The fact that it was "considered" state-of-the-art should be mentioned in the body. Do we know who considered it state-of-the-art?- Removed "Considered", as Tarkin does not use that phrasing. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 20:20, 9 May 2023 (UTC)
- Removed "Considered", as Tarkin does not use that phrasing. ThrawnChiss7
After the incident, the Immobilizer was returned to Corellian Engineering. Do we know who returned it to Corellian Engineer? The Desert Jewel subsequently fought a skirmish in which the Immobilizer and its accompanying TIE fighters were destroyed. By whom?- We don't know who returned the vessel; Luke and Nakari destroyed the TIEs as well as the cruiser itself. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 20:20, 9 May 2023 (UTC)
- We don't know who returned the vessel; Luke and Nakari destroyed the TIEs as well as the cruiser itself. ThrawnChiss7
Let me know if you have any issues with my copy-edit. Feel free to revert any changes you deem unnecessary or inaccurate.Samonic
(Talk) 08:56, 6 May 2023 (UTC)
- Looks good! ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 20:20, 9 May 2023 (UTC)
- Looks good! ThrawnChiss7
Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 19:15, 13 May 2023 (UTC)
Uber
Introduction and retirement dates in the infobox require further explanation to connect with this subject.- Added. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- Added. ThrawnChiss7
- With only three paragraphs in total, Characteristics doesn't need subsectioning, as it feels arbitrary.
Does the novel identify the Executrix as an Imperial I?- No, good catch. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- No, good catch. ThrawnChiss7
The Interdictor-class Star Destroyer is currently linked here, did you mean to link Interdictor-class?- See vitus' objection
- "However, due to the ship's frequent use against Alliance raiding groups, Skywalker possessed knowledge of the ship's weaknesses" This is the first time you mention the ship's prior history with the Alliance. This is something that should be established earlier in the section.
Should establish the New Republic as the Alliance's successor here. Use another source if not supported by On The Front Lines.- Added. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- Added. ThrawnChiss7
Context for Musmuris Reetgeet.- There is not a lot about him, but added his species. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- There is not a lot about him, but added his species. ThrawnChiss7
Does On The Front Lines provide the 5 ABY date? Needs another source if not.- See above, says "5 years after the Battle of Yavin", which is the same thing as 5 ABY. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- See above, says "5 years after the Battle of Yavin", which is the same thing as 5 ABY. ThrawnChiss7
- You will need to introduce more specific dates for the 1989 sources, per policy. UberSoldat93
(talk) 14:31, 20 May 2023 (UTC)
- I haven't found anything that dates the rules companion more specifically than "1989" and I doubt there is a source that does so, but I will keep looking. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 15:34, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
- Do the books themselves have the printing month by any chance? There is at least one WEG book, The Star Wars Sourcebook, that provides the month and year. UberSoldat93
(talk) 05:39, 3 June 2023 (UTC)
- Do the books themselves have the printing month by any chance? There is at least one WEG book, The Star Wars Sourcebook, that provides the month and year. UberSoldat93
- I haven't found anything that dates the rules companion more specifically than "1989" and I doubt there is a source that does so, but I will keep looking. ThrawnChiss7
Macaroni
- With only three paragraphs in the Characteristics section, I'm going to recommend removing the subsectioning.
- For the record, already made this objection above. UberSoldat93
(talk) 05:27, 3 June 2023 (UTC)
- Oops :P JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 18:51, 8 June 2023 (UTC)
- For the record, already made this objection above. UberSoldat93
- This sentence got a bit long, it should probably be two: "In that same year, the Rebel Alliance agents Luke Skywalker and Nakari Kelen fled aboard the luxury yacht Desert Jewel to the[3] Mid Rim[9] Nanth'ri system, trying to escape the Empire, as they had just freed Drusil Bephorin, an important Givin cryptologist, from Imperial captivity on the[3] Inner Rim[9] planet Denon.[3]"
- Check your image caption punctuation: full sentences require periods at the end.
- The Jakku bit is written a little out of order: you establish that it was successfully captured and explain afterward how that went down. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:55, 2 June 2023 (UTC)
Comments
- The image of the Carrion Spike is indead the Carrion Spike, see the talk page for the Carrion Spike. -ThrawnChiss7 (talk) 16:57, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
- I've been watching your progress in your workbench since you started, it has been pleasant to see it grow to a FAN. I'm looking forward to reviewing the article very soon! Samonic
(Talk) 17:47, 7 November 2022 (UTC) - Could the nomination please get withdrawn? Hopefully I'll come back and renom it, but right now I am not interested in that. ThrawnChiss7
Assembly Cupola 16:17, 28 June 2023 (UTC)