- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Hamato Xiono
- Nominated by: - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 07:21, 30 March 2023 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I'm still working on Kaz's article and will FAN it one day... but for now, have his dad.
- Date Archived: 02:11, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- Final word count: 2420 words (241 introduction, 1857 body, 322 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 2627 words (237 introduction, 2042 body, 348 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Mandoverse, Wookieepedia:WookieeProject Resistance
(5 Inqs/1 Users/6 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
Master Fredcerique
(talk) (he/him) 01:25, 12 October 2023 (UTC)- Good stuff Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:33, 19 January 2024 (UTC)
JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 05:15, 22 February 2024 (UTC)- Bonzane10 (holonet) 13:56, 6 March 2024 (UTC)
- —spookywillowwtalk 01:53, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
- Lewisr (talk) 02:10, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
Object
Bramato Xiono
Context needer for D'Qar.Reading through Son in the Resistance, the chronology of events is a bit all over the place here. I think you should move the context of Kaz's mix up to before you introduce him contacting his father, and also move the change of mind part to after Hamato's berating. This is just to order all the events, plenty of precedents for this as well.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 22:52, 1 April 2023 (UTC)
Dani
The trailer for Season 2 is missing 1stp, which the bts will need to address too. Unsure if it needs the Hologram only bit? NBDani(they/them)Yeager's Repairs 13:44, 12 April 2023 (UTC)He's actually First ID'd in Part 1 of "The Recruit," in the credits. NBDani(they/them)Yeager's Repairs 21:50, 12 April 2023 (UTC)- Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 16:53, 17 April 2023 (UTC)
- I'd like to see his name documented in the BTS similar to Tetha Grig NBDani (they/them)Yeager's Repairs 14:30, 25 April 2023 (UTC)
- I'd like to see his name documented in the BTS similar to Tetha Grig NBDani
- Added. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 16:53, 17 April 2023 (UTC)
- Review Note: I've added some sources. If you need help accessing these sources please don't hesitate to reach out via Discord. I also plan to review the French novels as I'm sure two of them will feature him. NBDani (they/them)Yeager's Repairs 14:30, 25 April 2023 (UTC)
We avoid mentioning channel names for premieres (Disney Channel) outside of D+ as current precedent. NBDani (talk) 12:16, 30 August 2023 (UTC)"Tzi Ma provided the voice for the politician." Provided you immediately discuss Live Action protrayal after this, I think it could use some specifying language. NBDani (talk) 12:16, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Can you discuss the concept art similar to how Unidentified casino gambler does it? (Note: gambler only links to the art because it won't fit in the BTS.) NBDani (talk) 12:16, 30 August 2023 (UTC)You need to specific which gallery image you're referencing with {{C|Slide X}} NBDani (talk) 12:16, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Not certain how others feels, but I'd feel better sourcing his traits of human, male, and TNR affialiations to his databank. NBDani(they/them)Yeager's Repairs 00:56, 25 November 2023 (UTC)The oldversion of the databank calls Hamato an "elite politican." Do you know if any other source mentions that and is that reflected in the article? NBDani(they/them)Yeager's Repairs 00:59, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
Editor
His mention in Station Theta Black about how even data about FO weapons would not convince him they are a threat, according to his son. Does not need to go under biography, but should be added to personality and traits.Editoronthewiki (talk) 13:48, 11 June 2023 (UTC)His appearance in Ahsoka has given us new P&T info, including Hera's speculation he was willing to sit the war out and see who came out on topEditoronthewiki (talk) 15:34, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Avoid the word "This" in article bodies since it is present tense. Replace with "that," "it," or anything that fitsEditoronthewiki (talk) 15:36, 30 August 2023 (UTC)
Lew
Hamato being from Hosnian Prime is infobox exclusive, I think it's also worth noting in the introContext for Hosnian Prime in the introCan we be sure Hosnian Prime was the capital of the New Republic at the time of Kaz being born and raised there?Lewisr (talk) 02:52, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Having black hair is currently infobox exclusiveI think the intro could use a bit of Ahsoka info and some dating for that and for the Hosnian CataclysmThe 2nd paragraph in "Father to a pilot" could be restructured a little I think to mention that Hamato expected Kaz to follow in his footsteps, and include what that refers to, but then Kaz decided to do his own things (the stuff you mention)Lewisr (talk) 15:50, 30 August 2023 (UTC)Hamato clearly display some anti-droid sentiment in Part Seven, this should be included in his personality and traitsLewisr (talk) 14:45, 27 September 2023 (UTC)The Cold War and Starkiller Base could use some contextCorellia being a planet isn't citable to Part ThreeHamato's first pronouns usage in the body needs to be cited to a source that does use them, as Part Three doesn'tSince Kaz was born after the events of Ahsoka, it would be better to move mention of being Kaz's father to after the Ahsoka stuff in the introKaz serving in the New Republic Starfighter Corps is only mentioned in the introLewisr (talk) 16:09, 28 September 2023 (UTC)Picking up on Fred's point about the images, I spoke with another Inq about it also, and we do think that you should enlargen the images as they are a bit too smallLewisr (talk) 20:18, 12 October 2023 (UTC)The information about Hamato not serving on either side of the GCW should be mentioned before his service in the New RepublicLewisr (talk) 18:40, 24 November 2023 (UTC)- Adjusted. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:49, 24 November 2023 (UTC)
- I still think it needs a little more, since it should be in chronological order of happening. I would just mention that he lived during the GCW (with context for who fought in the war) and that he did not serve on either side. Then say by around 9 ABY he had become a senator etc Lewisr (talk) 03:50, 25 November 2023 (UTC)
- Adjusted. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:49, 24 November 2023 (UTC)
It looks like some of the databank references will need changing to the older version, example: the BTS one confirming that the Xiono in Ahsoka is indeed HamatoLewisr (talk) 05:04, 25 November 2023 (UTC)I've come across a podcast interview with Nelson Lee that will need to be investigated in the event of relevant information hereLewisr (talk) 05:30, 22 February 2024 (UTC)- Just want to mention that I have noticed this objection and have been chipping away at it for a bit; it is taking a bit of time due to my busy schedule IRL and the podcast length. I will provide another comment on this page once I have fully addressed this objection. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 08:30, 27 February 2024 (UTC)
I think you also should try to vary the wording, you have 3 instances of "stated" in a row in sentences in the BTS about the podcast. And in equipment, you use "wore" twice in a rowLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)The individual senator in the BTS doesn't need to be capitalised as it's not in front of a nameLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)We typically cite the information regarding episode number/release date to the Disney Channel cite which you currently use for "A Quick Salvage Run" but not for "The Recruit"Lewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)You can remove the "blurred" in the BTS, it's not really necessaryLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)The "A Quick Salvage Run" information in the BTS can be cut and just note he was pictured in the trailer, see Mika Grey#Behind the scenes and how it is formatted/linkedLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)There's a few instances of redundant extra contexting that can be removed: Senators in front of Mawood and Rodrigo at their second mention, and then Hera/Mon Mothma's rank/position in equipmentLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)The last paragraph of the BTS can be merged into the first para, it makes more sense to keep the Resistance information togetherLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)The cite for the information about the Cold War being between the New Republic and First Order can be changed to Battles that Changed the GalaxyLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)The BtS statements from Nelson Lee could be prosified in a slightly more organic way, so that it isn't a necessity to go said "word" said "word”" in quotes, especially back to backLewisr (talk) 05:02, 16 March 2024 (UTC)
Macaroni
Missing initial bio subsection.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 04:43, 30 August 2023 (UTC)I don't love the opening line - we're being introduced to this subject, so I would recommend not using definition by negation, ie defining something by what it's not.The way the bts is worded implies that Xiono's picture in the trailer was created for the trailer itself - you should explain that it was previewing an episode for that season for which the clip of Xiono was created.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 20:42, 11 February 2024 (UTC)
Fred strikes back
So excited to be finally reviewing this now that Ahsoka S1 is over. First item: combining the first two sentences of the intro would probably make it flow a little better.Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 18:06, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
"Fortunately for him, Xiono and the rest of his family had survived the cataclysm by being off-world." This information is essentially repeated in the following paragraph, and so this sentence, which also feels a little POV due to "fortunately," can probably just be removed.Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 21:47, 5 October 2023 (UTC)
The image in P&T is significantly larger than the rest. I feel like the rest could stand to be enlarged to match it.Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 04:52, 7 October 2023 (UTC)
- I went ahead and cropped and re-sized that image to fit with the rest rather than changing the rest of the images to fit with it; the version that was there was not the version (or size) I added initially. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:27, 10 October 2023 (UTC)
- It's still noticeably larger than the others due to it's taller dimension, and I still feel the others could stand to be a little larger, but I won't hold up the nomination over it. Master Fredcerique(talk) (he/him) 19:38, 10 October 2023 (UTC)
- It's still noticeably larger than the others due to it's taller dimension, and I still feel the others could stand to be a little larger, but I won't hold up the nomination over it. Master Fredcerique
- I went ahead and cropped and re-sized that image to fit with the rest rather than changing the rest of the images to fit with it; the version that was there was not the version (or size) I added initially. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 19:27, 10 October 2023 (UTC)
CC-8
The intro is only at 175 words for a 2000 word body, could be expanded a bit to elaborate on the Ahsoka contentFor the first body paragraph it might be helpful to specify that the Alliance won the war and transitioned into the New RepublicNotes and references could use a scrollboxCommander Code-8 Hello There! 03:44, 3 January 2024 (UTC)- Unnecessary as the N&R section still numbers fewer than forty per Wookieepedia:Layout Guide#Notes and references. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 23:45, 5 January 2024 (UTC)
- That's on me for not knowing that standard Commander Code-8 Hello There! 04:35, 9 January 2024 (UTC)
- Unnecessary as the N&R section still numbers fewer than forty per Wookieepedia:Layout Guide#Notes and references. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 23:45, 5 January 2024 (UTC)
spookly
- (Review note) copy-edit; can explain/justify most of that if need be, but figured it'd just be faster to make a run through.
The PT says dark brown in hue (for eyes) but the infobox just says brown by itself. Should be made consistent.Second half of first paragraph and second/third paragraphs of subsection are extremely play-by-play and include almost all dialogue is prosified. This should be wordsmith'd to be less so to focus more on actions rather than each line. An example of what I mean by dialogue play-by-play is further explained here.Same thing applies for most of the "Syndulla's disobedience" section—again, the actual changes will be minimal, but long-standing practice on not so much direct back-to-back dialogue.I'd like to see the 'around 14 ABY' date added to the intro regarding the sentence addressing him becoming a father.Offhand, it seems that the section "Father to a pilot" has room for an image of the trophy mentioned; would fit relevancy wise due to the context provided about the first race there."After Kazuda had begun his service as a Resistance spy, being deployed to the planet Castilon,"—Imo it would suit more to introduce the Colossus in this sentence. By mentioning Castilon first, then having sentences between, then mentioning the Colossus, it reads as if he was on Castilon then later left to a different location where the Colossus was."from the Unknown Regions"—thinking that can be trimmed out."waning months of"—that too (from a bit above) at minimum, though other parts of that sentence can kinda be also trimmed in general if wished, as it results in a a lot of context that could be slightly simplified."Hosnian Prime, which was by that point the New Republic's capital."—chronologically, the page should indicate, probably at the end of "Father to a pilot," something to the effect of (and keeping the similar wording of) "At some point, Hamato and his family began operating from Hosnian Prime, which by that point the New Republic's capital." The reason for this being moved up is because it makes it seem like Hosnian became the NR's capital at some point while Kaz was on the Colossus. Also, although Resistance presents this later, it should ideally be arranged as chronologically as possible, and the show context makes it clear that he was operating on Hosnian prior to Kaz joining the Resistance, which is why he thought they died. It doesn't necessarily have to be entirely trimmed from the lower section that has it, but should be mentioned at some point prior to and then slightly trimmed below."After Kazuda went on the run"—as clear as this may be to us, should specify that they're on the run from the FO.Relevancy: "After Kazuda went on the run alongside the inhabitants of the Colossus, the group eventually found what they believed to be refuge on the planet Aeos Prime. Choosing to continue the fight against the First Order, the younger Xiono resolved to leave and join the Resistance's forces. He then bid Captain Imanuel Doza of the Colossus farewell, explaining that he understood that, while Doza and the Colossus inhabitants wished to stay out of the fight, it was not who he was despite father's wishes. However, Kazuda remained with the Colossus following the First Order's arrival on the planet."—while all factually accurate, the Aeos content and his remaining/staying in specific circumstances are not specifically relevant to Hamato himself (within the scope of how far character articles cover this, as this would all be content on Kaz's page). As a whole, it generally falls under the extraneous context clause. The prior paragraph has a sentence that could be amended to something like "Kazuda resolved to continue his service to the Resistance despite his father's warning and later recounted his resolve to the endeavor to the Colossus's Captain Imanuel Doza, noting that he would not leave the fight even though his father wished him to." or some such thing. This, too, will solve a bit of the play-by-play issues.PT: Sentence about hair should really be split, one sentence for 9 ABY and one for 34 ABY, since it's trying to put a lot in one and turns run-on.PT: Hera's first name should be cut due to already being contextualized a number of times above.PT: Back to back sentences using 'he opposed,' synonym can be found.BtS: Quote should have a caption, even if it's just stating that Lee is his actor, since the reader won't know that till a bit further down.BtS: It's worth noting that Amy Beth Christenson was actually the art director for Resistance, not necessarily just one of the group of concept artists working on the show. A source for that can be found within Tierny's page where it links to Christenson.BtS: Per a smattering of Andor and Kenobi noms, it's redundant to call it a 2023 show when the air date is listed in the same year; can just remove from the former part of the sentence.BtS: At most it could be stated 'In a 2024 interview…—However, the running status article precedent for interviews doesn't need the full dates because it falls under the logic of only mentioning full dates when two sources in the same year are discussed, like books and such. Though, if you'd prefer to have no date, that is also the primary precedent.BtS: Because a lot of people are mentioned and they've all different roles, it'd be prudent to contextualize Anthony Daniels and Nelson Lee as actors (since we see a concept artist mentioned as well that is credited as such).—spookywillowwtalk 05:20, 21 March 2024 (UTC)- (Review note) Copy-edit—bit of a unique case but no need for the extra Bloodline ref since it's more based on the ref note for the capital itself. Seems like Castilon got removed entirely; just added it back in as a copy-edit to save the back-and-forth. On that same note, tweaked the prosification of the transmission scene.
- (Review note) I'm voting under the somewhat/very flaky assumption that Kaz's family isn't indirectly mentioned in the part 3 of the Christopher Sean interview, but as soon as (or if lol) that comes out, that should be handled promptly.—spookywillowwtalk 01:53, 24 March 2024 (UTC)
Comments
- Page has been updated to reflect new DB info; no oldversion refs necessary as the same info that was cited to the DB before is still present, none of the info removed from the DB was cited to it here. - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 16:34, 24 November 2023 (UTC)
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 02:10, 24 March 2024 (UTC)