Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Grizmallt/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Grizmallt/Legends

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

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Support

  1. Inqvote UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 13:10, 8 August 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:15, 6 September 2022 (UTC)
  3. —spookywillowwtalk 02:15, 19 November 2022 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Imperators II(Talk) 11:41, 20 December 2022 (UTC)
  5. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 18:46, 20 December 2022 (UTC)
  6. AxMech (talk) 19:45, 20 December 2022 (UTC)
  7. BloodOfIrizi Sabine Starbird (talk) 01:31, 21 December 2022 (UTC)

Object

Imp
  • Please turn the TOR date citation reference into a manual ref note that pipelinks the TOR date citation template, there's no need to transclude that whole wall of text in this article. Plus you're not explicitly linking the Balmorra mission to Act II anyway. Imperators II(Talk) 09:56, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Instead of the map featuring Renatasia, consider using a map featuring Grizmallt itself, such as this one, which features Coruscant, Alsakan, and Grizmallt, all in the context of the Alsakan Conflicts.
    • I can kind of see why but I have no clue what to caption it
      • Just do "During the Alsakan Conflicts, Grizmallt was aligned with the world Alsakan in its struggle against the Galactic Republic's capital planet Coruscant."
  • There's currently a slight disagreement between the intro, the NEC quote, and the body on whether the expedition to Naboo was the last of such Grizmallt missions or among the last. And I say "disagreement" but in reality the body fails to bring this point up whatsoever. :P
    • Guess I missed this one cause Galactic Battlegrounds is really emphatic about it being the last expedition. Not sure if the discrepancy is worth noting
      • I'd say that the NEC's IU author saying that it was "among the last" when it was in fact the absolute last isn't technically wrong, so I don't think it should necessarily be considered a contradiction.... but you should still mention the fact that it was the last in the body. :P Imperators II(Talk) 13:38, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
  • Just to check: does The Essential Atlas really mention Nam Chorios?
    • Can't actually find the confirmation that I was using the reference for, but the og atlas does it
  • Speaking of Nam Chorios, I don't see why its ("among many other worlds") colonization is mentioned after that of Naboo—supposedly one of the very last Grizmallt colonies—instead of up there with that of Renatasia in the previous section.
    • Moved it right to the top just so that it doesn't imply that the colonization happened in Tasia's reign for certain
  • "The Naboo continued to honor the memory of Tasia thousands of years later" — I get that what you're trying to convey here is that by 67-65 BBY the Naboo continued to honor the memory of Tasia millennia after her lifetime, but unfortunately when it and the preceding sentence are written like that it's also pretty easy to mistake that for the Naboo honoring Tasia millennia after the last century of the Republic. Can you rework this so as to remove this potential point of confusion?
    • Done
  • "which saw a Republic victory thanks to the appearance of Acclamator-class assault ships designed by Kuat Drive Yards" — the victory was thanks to the arrival of the Grand Army of the Republic (and Republic Navy forces) as a whole rather than just the Acclamators, can you rephrase this?
    • Done
  • The secret formula individual definitely sounds like they warrant an article of their own.
    • Done
  • I know The Essential Atlas discusses at length the specific fleets of the New Republic in the early years post-Endor - any chance it IDs this specific one led by Ackbar? Imperators II(Talk) 15:16, 8 December 2022 (UTC)
    • Haven't been able to find anything that definitively links a fleet to the relevant planets Commander Code-8 Hello There! 03:21, 11 December 2022 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • The Online Companion ref can just be eliminated by the base Atlas ref.
    • Done
  • The misspelled name should be noted under Sourced with {{ID}} next to the corresponding source.
    • Done
  • Does this carry over the mention from older editions? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 13:42, 30 July 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • I'd like the intro to have context for Nam Chorios, otherwise it's a little confusing what it is since you just discussed a system.
    • Done
  • In the Description, you should mention the star systems that the hyperlane connects the planet to instead of other planets.
    • Done
  • Just to confirm: the Atlas Online Companion actually mentions the planet, and not just the system?
  • Review note: quotes within quotes become single quotes, which you can see in my copy-edit a couple instances of. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 22:20, 21 August 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:34, 21 December 2022 (UTC)