Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Gita

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Contents

  • 1 Gita
    • 1.1 (4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)
      • 1.1.1 Support
      • 1.1.2 Object
        • 1.1.2.1 Ben
        • 1.1.2.2 Fan
        • 1.1.2.3 QGJ
        • 1.1.2.4 Anil
        • 1.1.2.5 Tommy
        • 1.1.2.6 Imp
        • 1.1.2.7 Toprawa
      • 1.1.3 Comments

Gita

  • Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:33, January 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first Featured nomination. Hope this one goes as smoothly as possible.

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Good job. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:27, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Nice one. Braha'tok enthusiast (Hello there) 13:18, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 22:23, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Tommy-Macaroni 15:06, July 13, 2020 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Imperators II(Talk) 15:53, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  6. I knew she wasn't a Tusken --Lewisr (talk) 16:06, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:10, July 17, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ben
  • Is there not a quote you can use for the recruitment section? If not, you could split the intro quote at the top (or swap it out for another quote) as that is suitable for the section.
  • The Chaos on Arvina section is quite small to be its own section. I would suggest merging it with the one below as a section about Gita's service with Valance and the crew.
  • Gwi's article says he is the leader of Hidden Hand. You could add that to his description.
  • An {{Imagecat}} is needed at the appearances section. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:21, January 25, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's the quote with Gwi describing her skills, which I moved to the top. She only speaks Tusken until the fourth issue, and the sections covering the issues after that already have quotes. That being said, addressing the second objection has also resolved the first one. The other objections have also been addressed. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:34, January 26, 2020 (UTC)
Fan
  • In the "Skrimish on Heva" subsection: "Her actions gave Valance enough time to dash towards the Sith and activate an electro-pulse. However, he failed to activate the device in time" The first sentence says Gita was able to buy Valance time to rush forward and activate the electro-pulse, while the next contradicts this by saying he failed to activate it in time. This should be clarified. Fan26 (Talk) 19:56, January 29, 2020 (UTC)
    • How does it look now? UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:39, January 30, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the "Early life" subsection: I think "meat" can link to Foodstuff. "bled out" can link to Blood while the pipelink to Death can be moved to the instance of "kill" in the next sentence. Fan26 (Talk) 21:43, March 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:03, March 13, 2020 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Valance ordered Gita to stay behind and provide long-range support while the rest of the team met with Fetya in Fetya's Hollow, stating that he didn't trust her. It's unclear who Valance didn't trust in this sentence, Fetya or Gita. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:56, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • However, Valance failed to activate the device in time and was immediately betrayed by Dengar when he electrocuted the cyborg, leading to the cyborg's capture. Please avoid the repetition of the word "cyborg" here.
  • Overall, the second paragraph of "Skirmish on Heva" feels a bit play-by-play. The sentence about Valance always suspecting her true identity especially feels out of place and could be better integrated into the prose. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:56, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed the above. Hopefully the revised paragraph flows better now. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:13, May 2, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • Could you please add that Valance did not believe she was a Tusken Raider from the beginning and his reason for it?
  • I think on one occasion Gita uses the phrase May the Force be with us, which suggests she believed in the Force. I think you can add that to the Personality and traits section.
  • "Gita and Valance were caught off-guard when Fain and Honnah suddenly rushed towards Vader, shattering her mask. With her face exposed, she then rushed to an injured Valance." I don't fully understand how her mask is shattered exacly. Could you please clarify that?
  • This is kinda nitpicky, but I think it's the third issue of Target Vader that confirms Gita was indeed speaking Tusken while disguised as Urrr'k. So it'd better to source that bit to issue #3 instead of #2.
  • Would you mind rewording the caption for the image in "Residing on Lowik"? It looks kinda silly as Gita literally says she doesn't trust Valance either in that comic panel.
  • I think you should detail Gita's getup on Mytar in the Equipment section. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 10:52, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed all points. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:33, June 8, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Some preliminaries: immediately, some of these images jump out to me as being very small. Is there a way to recrop the "Gita reveals her identity to Valance", "Gita was trained to be a hunter", and "Gita provided covering fire" ones so they're not in such a wide aspect ratio? This would allow them to be enlarged so we can see what's happening in them.
    • Done. Do they fit the page better now? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:28, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
      • Yeah, those are so much better. Tommy-Macaroni 18:51, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Is she actually an Agent (note capitalisation) of the Alliance? As in, did she hold the specific rank of Agent, or is she just described as a "rebel agent" or something? If it's the latter, the link to agent needs to be removed, and I'd also modify the category. See the most recent EC log for further details on this.
    • Link and category removed. I think "Impersonators" should suffice here. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:28, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • If a piece of information has multiple ref notes, they need to be in ascending order. Tommy-Macaroni 18:02, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
    • Sorted. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:28, July 3, 2020 (UTC)
  • We currently don't have any category linking her to the Alliance.
    • "Alliance to Restore the Republic members" added. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for Mytar, Heva, and Lowik in the intro please.
    • All added. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As Urrr'k, Gita was recruited by the Hidden Hand's leader, Gwi, as part of a team led by the cyborg bounty hunter Beilert Valance on a hunt for the Sith Lord Darth Vader." - something about this sentence seems off to me. I think it may be better to say something like "Gita was recruited by Gwi to be part of a team led by Valance whose mission was to hunt Vader" or something to that extent.
    • Reworded. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "During her mission, she communicated with her superior, Aeliar, allowing the rebels to work with the criminal syndicate that recruited the false Tusken Raider." - A couple of things here. First, I suggest using Gita's name near the start of this, considering it's a new paragraph. Second, the use of "work with" suggests the rebels and the Hidden hand had a formal alliance, when I'm guessing that Gita was just feeding the rebels the Hidden Hand's intel. Please reword.
    • Reworded. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "The criminal described her as a skilled sniper with mysterious origins while recruiting the cyborg bounty hunter Beilert Valance. Led by Valance, she was accompanied by so-called Jedi hunter droid Arr-Nine-Nineteen, Ardennian slicer Chio Fain, Gamorrean tracker Honnah, and the bounty hunter Dengar.[4]" - this section seems a bit out of place, as we've gone from Gita being recruited to describing her associates in a group we otherwise know nothing about. I think it'd be best to mention the team's purpose (to hunt Vader) from the off, if possible in tandem with Valance's introduction, and then go onto Gita's recruitment and the other members.
    • Restructured. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "he did not trust the sniper but only trusted her sniper skills." - the repetition of "trust" and "sniper" in this makes it read kinda odd, please reword.
    • Reworded. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • A couple of times in the Skirmish on Heva section, you use the word "starship" and it's unclear if this is referring to the Formidable or the Broken Wing. I suggest using "cruiser" instead just to be clear.
    • Done. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "When Vader deflected the laser bolts, Gita's mask was shattered by one of the bolts" - please reword the repetition of "bolts." Maybe something like "Vader deflected the bolts, with one of them shattering Gita's mask."
    • Reworded. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Context for Lowik in the body.
    • Added. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "After Valance headed towards the Hidden Hand's main outpost in an asteroid field, Aeliar voiced her concerns about trusting the cyborg, to which Gita replied they had no other option and assured her that Valance would get them the weapons they desired to fight back the Empire." - this is a bit of a run on, please split.
    • Done. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Gita and Aeliar allowed the people of Chorin, Valance's homeworld, to seek refuge in the rebel base, who had immigrated to avoid a massacre at the hands of the Empire in return for the weapons Valance would supply to the rebels." - this doesn't make grammatical sense; the "who" doesn't work as the rebel base is the last mentioned subject, not the people of Chorin. Please reword.
    • Reworded. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Following Gwi's capture" - this comes out of nowhere, this guy hasn't been mentioned in ages. Was he captured by Valence, thus making it a contributing factor in Gita offering him a job? If not, I don't really see how it's relevant.
    • Removed that part. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Even after she revealed herself[1] as a rebel agent,[2] she was still shocked to see Chio Fain and Honnah's deaths at the hands of Vader." - the way this reads suggests that her revealing herself as a rebel should make her less shocked. Not really sure what this is supposed to mean.
    • I see now how this doesn't really make sense. Removed. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Although" is preferred to "though" (more formal).
    • Changed all instances. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "convenient for hunting in a snowy environment" - I'm a little confused at the meaning here. Convenient how?
    • This was added by Anil in a copy-edit. I've removed it since it sounds a bit speculatory, seeing as the clothing is never talked about in the comic. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • "When a group of rebels wished to acquire arms from the Hidden Hand crime syndicate" - I'd say this is intro exclusive, and definitely needs to be mentioned early in the History.
    • Added. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:49, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
  • Lastly, I'd like you to completely read over this article and look out for more minor grammatical errors. In the nicest way possible, your writing has improved a lot since January, and I think it'd be good for you to do a copy-edit yourself to catch these smaller errors. To name a couple, pronouns are a bit overused instead of names or other descriptors, and sentence clauses sometimes don't link correctly: "Though Valance did not trust [Gita] at first,[8] the cyborg's expertise in combat stood out to her, [with the sniper?] later assuring Aeliar that Valance was skilled in battle and could help the Rebellion greatly." Tommy-Macaroni 18:51, July 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • I have gone through the article and made changes where necessary. Feel free to review them and let me know if they are good enough. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:09, July 6, 2020 (UTC)
  • Nice work on the copy-edit and objections, this is reading much better. Just one thing before I finish up and do a last copy-edit myself. I'm a little confused about the rebels buying weapons from the Hidden Hand. So, Gita joins Valance's team, which then directly allows the rebels to buy weapons from the Hidden Hand? How exactly does Gita being a part of that team make a difference for the rebels? Tommy-Macaroni 18:43, July 12, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added context. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 06:35, July 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'm still a bit confused. Why does Gita need to infiltrate the group and specifically "[relay] information about her team" if her role is just to inform the Alliance when Vader is distracted? I think I'd just like to see a clear mention of what Gita's mission for the rebellion is at the start.
  • One other thing I've noticed, in the intro, it says "The two allowed the people of Valance's homeworld, Chorin, to migrate to Lowik after the cyborg agreed to supply the rebels with weapons using the payment from their original mission." I'm not really sure what "original mission" means, as in the body you say Valance gives the rebels the weapons from the Hidden Hand outpost. Tommy-Macaroni 14:04, July 13, 2020 (UTC)
    • Last two comments sorted via IRC. Tommy-Macaroni 15:06, July 13, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • The referencing for hair color is inconsistent between infobox and body with no apparent reason. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Now it's inconsistent for eye and skin color. Imperators II(Talk) 15:47, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Fixed. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:51, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • "who was pretending to be a mere messenger for the organization, who inducted the sniper into a team" — please reword this part to avoid awkward repetition. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'd like to see a bit of context for Fetya's Hollow? Is it a city? A settlement? Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • I'm not entirely convinced that "disguised Tusken" is a correct way to refer to Gita. "Disguised rebel" or anything to that effect would work better. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • There's more instances of this. Imperators II(Talk) 15:47, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Should all be changed now. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:51, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Our article on the Broken Wing states that it was armed with laser cannons. Is that correct? If so, the "guns" in this article should be either specified or pipelinked. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Also, our articles on blasters and lasers seem to state that the two are not technically the same. (The same was true in Legends IIRC.) If true, you shouldn't treat them as synonyms. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Please avoid the usage of the pronoun "this" in IU portions of articles, since it implies the present tense: "hearing this," "during this time." Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you please confirm that Gita was in fact wearing a coat on Lowik? In the picture, it looks more like a jacket to me. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you confirm that Gaderffii stick should be capitalized? Our article for it doesn't capitalize it. Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed all points. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:36, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reviewing note: sentence subjects designating singular groups, such as the oft-used "team" in this article, should use corresponding singular, not plural, verbs. Instead of "her team had begun their mission" it should be "her team had begun its mission". Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Reviewing note: You should not separate two clauses by a comma if both of them do not contain an independent subject. Instead of "Gita took notice of the cyborg's expertise in combat, and later assured Aeliar" it should be "Gita took notice of the cyborg's expertise in combat and later assured Aeliar" (without comma). Imperators II(Talk) 15:13, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Noted. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:36, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Does the source actually call these "binoculars"? Because I'm wondering whether we need to create an article for that in Canon, as there exists a Legends counterpart. "Using a pair of binoculars..."
    • They're not named as that's the only time we see her using them. Do you want it removed or changed? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:04, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
      • Can we just call them electrobinoculars? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:51, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
        • Done. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:26, July 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Who is "them"? The Hidden Hand, the rebels? And why would no one conduct business with them? "Hearing the news, Gita replied that no one would conduct deals with them."
    • Alliance. Reason isn't explained in the comic. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:04, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • The double use of "allowed/allowing" is redundant here. Let's change up this wording: "While Valance was at the outpost, the two rebels allowed the people of Chorin, Valance's homeworld, to seek refuge in the rebel base, allowing them to avoid a massacre..." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:34, July 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 20:04, July 16, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:10, July 17, 2020 (UTC)