- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Dawson (Tynnan)
- Nominated by: OtterSurf (talk) 18:31, June 25, 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Ooh, my first FA nomination!
(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)
(Votes required: 3 Inq vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)
Support
- --TheTrooperGuy (talk) 20:13, July 1, 2020 (UTC)
Object
Fan
This is from the intro: "Dawson's incendiary talents came in immensely handy for Noone and his associates" There's a grammatical error here.The last sentence of the into is currently one big run-on that's almost half of that paragraph. Please revise this.There are several instances where the article is written in a more narrative tone (e.g. "However, his idyll was not to last", "Not to be deterred", "array of incendiary paraphernalia", just to name a few) rather than a formal, encyclopedic summary. Please try to fix this.Fan26 (Talk) 15:49, June 27, 2020 (UTC)"Sluissi team member Hass Sonax discovered that the meeting was being catered, and so Noone's crew disguised themselves as staff from the fledgling gustatory enterprise Estimable Epicures to get aboard the herdship." I don't think Sonax learning that the meeting had caterers is relevant to Dawson-just say the meeting was being catered.Fan26 (Talk) 01:54, June 29, 2020 (UTC)- In the "The Great Herdship Heist" subsection, Bimm links to a disambig page. Fan26 (Talk) 15:37, August 10, 2020 (UTC)
- That's because Ritinki is identified as a Bimm, but it's never stated which species. OtterSurf (talk) 17:20, August 10, 2020 (UTC)
- The Manual of Style explicitly forbids linking to disambigs outside of actual disambig templates, but given that the species is unclear, I recommend you go on IRC and ask for guidance here. Fan26 (Talk) 15:59, 6 November 2020 (UTC)
- That's because Ritinki is identified as a Bimm, but it's never stated which species. OtterSurf (talk) 17:20, August 10, 2020 (UTC)
"whose contents were revealed"-switch to "the contents revealed" here.Fan26 (Talk) 15:37, August 10, 2020 (UTC)
OOM
An {{Imagecat}} template for Dawson should be added under Appearances.The article could be placed in more categories.- (Reviewing note) Per the Layout Guide: "Do not separate compound terms upon first linking instance." I have fixed this for you.
"Dawson was a Tynnan male demolitions expert partnered with thief Cecil Noone around 0 ABY. An expert in explosives […]" Has two mentions of expert; doesn't read very well.- - -
OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 11:09, July 15, 2020 (UTC)
- Done, done, thanks, and fixed! OtterSurf (talk) 13:41, July 17, 2020 (UTC)
- Great! I've removed the criminals category since thieves is a sub-category of it. - - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 13:12, July 18, 2020 (UTC)
- Great! I've removed the criminals category since thieves is a sub-category of it. - - -
- Done, done, thanks, and fixed! OtterSurf (talk) 13:41, July 17, 2020 (UTC)
The youmay template should be changed to otheruses per the Naming policy. A disambig page is already created at Dawson.- - - OOM 224 ༼༽{talk}༼༽ 19:10, September 4, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
- Preliminary objections:
- Please specify the parameters "thumb|position|size" for every file.
- Comic images need to be of digital quality. The body one especially looks very low-res.
- Context for water-wall please.
- Underlinking: "day," "orbit," "hull," "realspace" to name a few.
- The last sentence of "Early life" is a run-on.
- In-text quotations should use ", not '.
- Dawson's clothing, such as his spacesuit, should be mentioned in Equipment. Tommy-Macaroni 20:15, 28 October 2020 (UTC)
Comments
Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)
Unaddressed objections from me over 2 weeks old. Tommy-Macaroni 17:47, 12 November 2020 (UTC)- Imperators II(Talk) 17:47, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
- MasterFred(talk) 18:02, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
