- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Zeitooine
- Nominated by: VergenceScatter (talk) 00:22, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Been wanting to do this one for a while
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:AST, WP:NOVELS, WP:THR
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
- BloodOfIrizi
(talk) 19:03, 15 August 2022 (UTC)
- - Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 21:02, 29 October 2022 (UTC)
JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 03:19, 20 November 2022 (UTC)
Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 13:42, 20 November 2022 (UTC)- I know my vote doesn't do anything, but I just felt like it. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 02:14, 30 November 2022 (UTC)
Imperators II(Talk) 20:03, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
Object
Ziara
duplicate link in Inhabitants - Zeit royalty- Fixed.
context for Christophsis- I think it's self-contextualizing, since it's clearly a terrestrial object that Rydan visited. To put in other detail would also lead to awkward wording.
context for Affiealso mention where affie and dez were when affie was poisonedi think its worth mentioning the Mighty Oak was a cargo freighter- all done
a quote for the high republic part of the body (if possible) BloodOfIrizi(talk) 00:31, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- No such quote VergenceScatter (talk) 06:01, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
Silver
You should put in an approximate date for when Thane visited the planet. Maybe also include the era and roughly how much time separates the Imperial and High Republic eras, for context.- I did put a date for when Thane visits the planet. VergenceScatter (talk) 06:12, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- To be more specific, there should be at least a year for the Battle of Yavin, if nothing else. It's kind of jarring to a reader to leap from the High Republic Era to the Imperial Era with no context. SilverSunbird (talk) 06:25, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- I disagree. There's no reason to say that the Battle of Yavin took place in 0 BBY because that's repetitive. I added the Imperial Era, but it's just not true to say that there's no context when it switches, because there is a date provided. VergenceScatter (talk) 06:28, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- To be more specific, there should be at least a year for the Battle of Yavin, if nothing else. It's kind of jarring to a reader to leap from the High Republic Era to the Imperial Era with no context. SilverSunbird (talk) 06:25, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- I did put a date for when Thane visits the planet. VergenceScatter (talk) 06:12, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
It might be a good idea to move the Amaxine station stuff to its chronological position in events after Jora Malli's thoughts.- I disagree with this, as it separates the two mentions of the poison. VergenceScatter (talk) 06:12, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- Okay, fair enough. SilverSunbird (talk) 06:25, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- I disagree with this, as it separates the two mentions of the poison. VergenceScatter (talk) 06:12, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- Review note: Remember to make sure you're not forgetting punctuation at the end of your sentences; I found and fixed a few missing periods. SilverSunbird (talk) 06:09, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
- Thanks for catching those VergenceScatter (talk) 06:12, 9 August 2022 (UTC)
Braha
Context for Christophsis?Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 18:29, 15 October 2022 (UTC)- As I said above, I think that it's self-contextualizing and adding further context will lead to awkward wording. VergenceScatter (talk) 18:40, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
- Gonna have to disagree. "on" can self-contextualise an astronomical object, yes, but we know a lot more about Christophsis than that. If "on" can contextualise any terrestial planet, moon etc. then I may as well miss the specifics with Tatooine, or Coruscant, or Yavin 4. The implication of Rydan having visited it is not really sufficient either: the statement "Rydan visited Christophsis" doesn't tell us what Christophsis is. Something like "the planet" won't make the wording awkward either, the sentence will still flow fine. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:23, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
- Fine, addded VergenceScatter (talk) 22:26, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
- Gonna have to disagree. "on" can self-contextualise an astronomical object, yes, but we know a lot more about Christophsis than that. If "on" can contextualise any terrestial planet, moon etc. then I may as well miss the specifics with Tatooine, or Coruscant, or Yavin 4. The implication of Rydan having visited it is not really sufficient either: the statement "Rydan visited Christophsis" doesn't tell us what Christophsis is. Something like "the planet" won't make the wording awkward either, the sentence will still flow fine. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:23, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
- As I said above, I think that it's self-contextualizing and adding further context will lead to awkward wording. VergenceScatter (talk) 18:40, 15 October 2022 (UTC)
The intro is awfully short. In some cases, there's no problem with a shorter intro, but I would definitely think that some more details out three sections, especially the history, would be very beneficial.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 20:58, 18 October 2022 (UTC)- How's that? VergenceScatter (talk) 19:24, 28 October 2022 (UTC)
The fact it's ruled by a monarchy is not mentioned outside the infobox and intro.- It's mentioned in both history and inhabitants VergenceScatter (talk) 18:49, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
- Ah, then Zeit royalty should be put in the infobox and the intro mention should be pipelinked to it, rather than the general monarchy article in both instances. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 22:55, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- Done VergenceScatter (talk) 21:10, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
- Ah, then Zeit royalty should be put in the infobox and the intro mention should be pipelinked to it, rather than the general monarchy article in both instances. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 22:55, 14 November 2022 (UTC)
- It's mentioned in both history and inhabitants VergenceScatter (talk) 18:49, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
What DFaceG said in the comments.Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 18:30, 6 November 2022 (UTC)- Created VergenceScatter (talk) 18:49, 13 November 2022 (UTC)
Macaroni
I think the date note currently being used on The High Republic: Into the Dark's page works better since it makes reference to actual details in the book.JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 23:00, 14 November 2022 (UTC)- Changed. VergenceScatter (talk) 21:10, 17 November 2022 (UTC)
Erebus
Body should make mention that Zeitooine fell under Imperial control at some point.Erebus Chronus (Talk) 03:42, 28 November 2022 (UTC)- How's that look? VergenceScatter (talk) 03:25, 29 November 2022 (UTC)
- Looks good. Erebus Chronus (Talk) 02:14, 30 November 2022 (UTC)
- How's that look? VergenceScatter (talk) 03:25, 29 November 2022 (UTC)
Imp
The body only identifies the Mighty Oak Apocalypse as a freighter, while the intro more specifically calls it a light freighter. I'm assuming the latter is correct?- It is, added to body.
"After the mission, Rydan's former master, Jora Malli, told her new Padawan" — is this still referring to the mission to Zeitooine? Or is that a mission to Amaxine Station? If the latter, does it have a linkable article?- Clarified and added link.
Right now, Kyrell having defected from the Empire is intro-exclusive so it is left unexplained in the body why he feared he would be caught.- Added to body.
"The surface of the planet was covered by jungles of deciduous trees that became covered in hard frost and lost their leaves in the winter, and a small number of cities dotted its surface.[1]" — right now, I think this implies grammatically that cities covered the surface of the winter instead of that of Zeitooine. Before you try and simply rephrase it, however, I'd suggest you consider instead moving the part about the cities to Inhabitants, since Description is usually reserved for describing the features of planets that were not directly caused by sentient beings.- Description moved.
The last two paragraphs of "Imperial Era" read somewhat... odd. I think one part of the problem is that the middle paragraph is written to be slightly too much from the perspective of Kyrell, i.e., it describes what he experiences in the order that he does, and it kinda feels to me as if you were just going off the order the novel itself brings it all up (haven't read it myself though so can't confirm). For example, right now it describes Kyrell stepping off the ship and only then tells where the ship had landed in the first place - it should be the other way around. One more odd example is "Although the nearest seller was ten minutes away, he decided to go." — did you mean to say here that the seller was at a distance of ten minutes' walk away, and that Kyrell decided to walk anyway?Imperators II(Talk) 11:43, 4 December 2022 (UTC)- Tried to move it around and clarify—does it read better now? VergenceScatter (talk) 02:39, 7 December 2022 (UTC)
I presume the Mighty Oak Apocalypse eventually left Zeitooine? If so, that would be worth noting.Imperators II(Talk) 13:49, 7 December 2022 (UTC)- Added, thanks. VergenceScatter (talk) 17:19, 10 December 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Should the Zeit have their own article, since it's said that the people of the planet are known as Zeits? Seems notable to me.- Thannus (DFaceG) (he/him) (talk) 21:02, 29 October 2022 (UTC)
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:03, 10 December 2022 (UTC)