Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Yorr/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations | Yorr
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Yorr

  • Nominated by: Matt Seay (talk) 03:30, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Jangeth
  • Matt, do you know why this nom has failed in both the FAN and CAN? It's a big mess. First off, please properly follow WP:S and the WP:MOS. Did you even check the Rebel guide? I suspect there's invalid information in the COMPNOR section. Once you take care of all of this, please be sure to check your grammar and linking. I'm noticing redirects. Furthermore, make sure you check every single source related to ROTJ. Are you sure he's not mentioned elsewhere? JangFett (Talk) 03:32, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • Yes JangFett, I have read the Rebellion guide. I have checked most sources. If you know one is wrong just tell me which one is and I can fix it. Matt Seay (talk) 03:36, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Are you sure? I hope you did not make things up or assume certain information came from that source without checking. I would highly recommend that you take a look at recent GAs to see what is to be expected from status articles. JangFett (Talk) 03:38, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • I'm the one who mentioned this book to Matt Seay. I can tell you that I've looked, and he is only pictured, nothing about COMPNOR, and his name isn't even mentioned. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 03:52, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
          • It looks like it's just a (Picture only), yeah. No caption, and nothing to link it to the info about COMPNOR. If you remove that info and the article falls below 250 words, don't be quick to remove it from this page, as there's some other missing info (mostly context) and it will most likely end up rising above 250 words anyway. Menkooroo (talk) 03:59, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
Some prelims
  • "Source goes here?" Uhhhhhh no.
  • The coding in reference [4] is broken; please fix.
    • Taken care of. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 03:43, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Better, but the same ref now appears twice. Ref [3] and ref [6] are the same thing and should just be one ref. Menkooroo (talk) 03:46, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • Taken care of for that one. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 03:51, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • I don't mean to sound like a prat here, but I'd like to see Matt take care of the objections to this nom --- if someone else does it for him, he won't learn anything. Menkooroo (talk) 03:54, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • The items in the "Sources" section should be ordered by date of publication. Click on each one to find out when they were published and then re-organize them.
  • The biography can't rely on information already established in the intro --- the biography needs to introduce everything for the first time. It should talk about Yorr right from the first sentence (eg "Yorr was a Human male who...") rather than introducing him a few sentences in.
    • Taken care of, name is in first sentence. Matt Seay (talk) 03:49, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • It's still written as if the reader already knows who Yorr is. Instead, it needs to introduce Yorr in the very first sentence, by telling us his species, sex, when he lived, etc. Browse through the "Individuals" section here for some examples. Menkooroo (talk) 04:04, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • References should go immediately after punctuation --- no space in between. Menkooroo (talk) 03:38, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Why was The New Essential Guide to Vehicles and Vessels removed from the "Sources" list? Several sentences in the article are still referenced to it, including "Yorr was one of the Empire's best pilots. He tested many TIE fighter prototypes during his years." Is that info from Vehicles and Vessels or isn't it? Menkooroo (talk) 04:19, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • Oops, must have gotten deleted, I checked that source and I did not see a reference to Yorr, you can check yourself. If you want you can add it back. Matt Seay (talk) 04:21, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • The biography says that he's a member of the Imperial Demonstration Team and cites Vehicles and Vessels as a reference. If he's not actually mentioned in that source, then from where does that information come? This is a major issue. Menkooroo (talk) 04:29, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • Its been re sourced. Go to the article for Imperial Demonstration Team and check out its sources. Matt Seay (talk) 04:31, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
          • References [3], [4], and [5] are all exactly the same --- they should be combined into one reference. Menkooroo (talk) 04:32, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
            • I agree, but I do not know how to do that. Matt Seay (talk) 04:33, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
              • The answer can be found within the article. Ref [1] (Return of the Jedi) is referenced eight times; check out the coding used there and apply it to the problem here. Menkooroo (talk) 04:40, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
              • I did it for you and you can view the changes here. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:44, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
Hanzo
  • This might be a sofixit, but reload the infobox, don't just automatically assume what's already there is the proper infobox layout. And also Color is linked twice in the infobox, just link it the first time and not again.
  • More to come. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 03:50, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Alright I notice a factual error. The novel says he was the shuttle captain, not the co-pilot, and you can already tell in the movie he's the main pilot as he sits in the pilot's seat. Yes the CCG says he is Jendon's wingman, but that is when he's in Onyx 2, when Jendon's in Onyx 1. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 13:52, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • The intro and bio are both far from complete. The intro should summarize everything that is known about him, and as is doesn't even mention him transporting Vader to the Death Star. Also, the biography doesn't include the fact he was a captain.
    • Taken care of. Matt Seay (talk) 21:59, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Both are still incomplete, I'm afraid. Context is needed for everything, instead of automatically assuming the reader already knows everything. And the bio still doesn't mention that he's a captain.
  • "Around 1 ABY, Yorr became a member of a starfighter squadron within in the Imperial Navy known as Onyx Squadron." Where does that date come from? It's sourced to the card, and that card makes no mention of the date. Are you just assuming that because Onyx Squadron was known to exist around 1 ABY, Yorr had to have joined then? He could have joined during 4 ABY for as far as we know.
  • The last sentence is placed awkwardly. It should be placed before him transporting Vader to the Death Star, not after, and also reworded, but then again so does most of the article. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 14:05, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Forgot this and one more thing: the unsourced sentence saying he scored 24 combat victories while a member of Onyx Squadron, mostly under the command of Rexler Brath: Proof? The card only says that he scored 24 combat victories, which simply means that, at some time in his life, he had scored 24 combat victories.
  • Final prelim: I remember Darthrevan added Star Wars: Behind the Magic to the source list, and now see it is gone. Why is that? In addition to apparently being pictured in that source, that source also includes the film's script, which therefore also makes a mention of him too. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 14:13, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • Taken care of. Matt Seay (talk) 21:59, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Please also format the source correctly.
  • The personality and traits also needs his eye, hair and skin color. And also what source says he was one of the Empire's best pilots? Neither his card nor the Onyx 2 card say that.
    • Taken care of. Matt Seay (talk) 23:43, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Well where does the part about him being one of the Empire's best pilots come from? Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:34, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
        • I removed that part, it was apparently speculation given that he flew prototype TIE Fighters. now the info is gone. Matt Seay (talk) 01:42, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • This might also be a sofixit, but please also add the (First identified as {{{1}}}) template to the CCG card in the source list.
  • The behind the scenes also needs an adjustment. The first sentence says "he" instead of "Yorr," which is unacceptable. Also his card should be mentioned in the behind the scenes, as well as the fact that was the first source naming him.
  • I'm pretty sure Jasper Jacon should be named Jasper Jacob. Just Google that name and you'll see. Google "Jasper Jacon" and you'll see the only results are from this website, I think we just got his name wrong. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:22, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Okay, How can I change the name of the article? Matt Seay (talk) 23:38, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • Just click move, and change the title and text accordingly. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:44, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Speaking about Jasper Jacob, this site has some relevant BTS info for him, including the fact that Jacob as Yorr filmed an extended scene that didn't make the final cut. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:47, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • I added the info and sourced it to the site. Matt Seay (talk) 23:54, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • That deleted scene and some other info is also in the novel. Please check the novel and update the article accordingly. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:57, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • I don't think the last sentence in the P & T can be proven. Do we know Vader had to trust the people who piloted his shuttle?
  • That website about Jasper Jacob does not count as a source. The citation should be kept though, but please use Citeweb to properly format it. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:50, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • Good to see that stuff was added from the novel; however you did not include certain details that, if not mentioned in the main bio, do warrant a mention in the personality and traits. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:58, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
What Trak Can Track
  • Right off the bat, I formatted a few things and combined a sentence fragment with a previous sentence. Also, make sure that you double-check every single source and appearance and cover everything in them. Pay particular attention to the prose, as I see a good bit of purple prose hanging around in there. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:09, August 16, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

  • I am doing what I can to fix what I know how to fix. Doing my best here. Matt Seay (talk) 03:58, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • "Doing my best" is already wearing thin with the admins, so maybe this wasn't a good time for you to charge headlong into status articles. High school chemistry students don't win Nobel Prizes. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 13:25, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • In terms of sources and other adaptations, he is also included in the film script presented in Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays. As for anything else, if you and Darthrevan don't own all the adaptations and other sources in existence, I recommend asking others for help on compiling both the adaptations/sources and any relevant new info in Forum:Knowledge Bank. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 02:18, August 17, 2012 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote First off, the article is far from complete as displayed above and by looking at the article. It fails to meet Rules 3 and 10 due to the fact that he is a movie character that could be hidden within multiple sources that are not currently present in the article. Referencing, grammar, linking, ect, issues are also apparent. I recommend to remove this nom until the nominator fully completes the article. JangFett (Talk) 14:32, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Not even close. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:25, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:22, August 17, 2012 (UTC)