Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Uphrades

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Uphrades

  • Nominated by: Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 19:48, October 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(3 ACs/5 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. I wonder what environmentalists would have to say about this. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 20:37, October 23, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:10, October 25, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Keep up the good work! --Jinzler (talk) 20:13, October 26, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 08:30, November 9, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:22, November 13, 2012 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Solid job handling the objections. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:11, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:36, December 13, 2012 (UTC)
  8. ACvote grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 15:39, December 15, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Jinzler
  • The planet's grid co-ordinates are given only in the infobox and not anywhere in the main body of the article.
    • I wasn't aware those had to be mentioned in the article. Are you sure they are supposed to be?
      • I know it is a bit picky, but there seems to be an unofficial reviewer consensus that all details provided in an article's infobox should also be provided in the body of that article. As you have now added a "Description" section, it should be fairly easy for you to mention the co-ordinates somewhere there. --Jinzler (talk) 19:20, October 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • From the intro: "Uphrades supplied the Republic capital of Coruscant with much of its food supplies until it was targeted by the Sith Lord Darth Angral during his campaign of vengeance." This sentence is ambiguous, as it is unclear whether the "it" refers to Coruscant or Uphrades.
    • Fixed.
  • I notice that you directly link to the Galactic War article in the bio. I admit to not being familiar with the source material, but the Galactic War article states that the name of the conflict is conjectural. If that is indeed the case, then it would be more appropriate to indirectly pipe-link to the war's article, as you have done in the introduction.
    • Woops - that's left over from before we realized it's conjectural.
  • Is there enough information provided in the source to warrant the addition of a "Description" section to the article?
    • Found some additional info in the galaxy map, so yeah. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 22:07, October 25, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nice work. I'm not really that major a fan of TOR, but I enjoyed reading this article. --Jinzler (talk) 20:41, October 25, 2012 (UTC)
Cav
  • Doctor Senessa would later contact the Knight after Angral's defeat aboard the Oppressor above the planet Tython, telling the young Jedi that with the supplies aboard the Daybreaker those on the surface were able to survive several months until the ionization had dissipated enough to allow Republic aid ships to enter the atmosphere and rescue them. - I think this should be reworked to be from the Senessa/Uphrades PoV, rather than from the Jedi Knights.
    • Done.
  • Any information for Inhabitants/Locations sections? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:43, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
    • We never meet anyone from there, and never seen/learn anything about the planet's surface beyond what was already stated in the Description section. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 21:05, October 31, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I removed the links to "ion cannon" in the intro in my preliminary look-over, thinking it was out of place, then noticed that you actually call the atmosphere a literal "ion cannon" in the Description section, which I find interesting. Does the game actually refer to it as an ion cannon?
    • The Planet Prison, one of the components of the Desolator, is intended as a planetary ion cannon, and is even described as such by Tarnis (one of its creator). Doctor Godera (the original designer) also states that the Desolator makes direct use of the Planet Prison's technology, so yeah.
  • The Uphrades system should be mentioned in the Description section initially, not first mentioned way down in the History section.
    • Done. Originally, there wasn't a Description section, but I found additional info hidden away in the text files for the in-game Galaxy Map, so I had to add it in later.
  • All infobox info must also be detailed properly in the article itself:
    • The infobox mentions geographical features like rocky plains, canyons, and craters, which aren't mentioned anywhere in the article. These should be detailed in the Description section.
      • Done.
    • There is no mention of the fact that it has a Type I atmosphere, which is breathable for Humans.
      • Done.
    • No mention of it having a temperate climate or being a terrestrial planet (even though this is somewhat implied).
      • Done.
    • No mention of surface water, or subsequent lack thereof.
      • Done.
        • Good, and good to see that you mentioned oceans in the Description section as well, per that section's quote. For that matter, I believe "oceans" should also be listed as another bullet among the infobox's "primary terrain" field. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:44, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
          • Done.
  • These two sentences are basically repeating the same thing twice about trapping inhabitants on the planet. Can we combine this any to avoid the redundancy? "the Desolator ionized Uphrades' atmosphere, trapping the planet's inhabitants on the world, and destabilized the planet's core through seismic vibrations. The attack devastated Uphrades' surface, killing millions and trapping the few hundred survivors on the planet."
    • Done.
  • Even though this is mentioned disparately throughout the course of the article, I think it may be appropriate to reiterate the mention of the planet's original 16 million inhabitants and that only a few hundred existed surviving the attack in an "Inhabitants" section, as stipulated by the LG. Let me know what you think.
    • It's tiny, but there you go. Found another quote to go with the description section.
      • According to the LG, the Inhabitants section properly goes after the Description section. Please also adjust any linking as necessary. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:44, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
        • Done.
  • After reading the BTS, I've become confused regarding the article's sourcing of the planet's location. I have several questions/objections: a) Does the Holonet actually provide the planet with its M-8 coordinates? b) The article alternates between sourcing the Inner Rim bit to first reference 1 in the infobox, and then reference 2 in both the article body and the BTS. I understand that both references may be accurate, but for consistency and to avoid any confusion, I think this should be kept uniform. I would recommend probably using refs 1 and 2 for all mentions of the Inner Rim. c) The Description section sources the planet's location between the two hyperlanes to the Holonet, but the BTS sources this bit to the Atlas. Assuming the use of the Holonet reference is accurate, and considering Uphrades isn't even mentioned in the Atlas, it would be best for the article to use references that literally pertain to Uphrades itself whenever possible, meaning restrict the Atlas referencing to as little use as possible, or ideally none at all. In other words, I'd like to see the referencing for the planet's geographical locations consistent between the infobox, the article body, and the BTS, which it currently is not.
    • a) Yeah, it does give the coordinates.
    • b) The Atlas is actually where the Inner Rim comes from, so that's been changed.
      • Good, but this creates another issue that may spawn confusion in the future. Since Uphrades is not actually mentioned in the Atlas, it's misleading to simply source its placement in the Inner Rim to that book. That implies that someone could literally open up the Atlas and find a page that says Uphrades is located in the Inner Rim, when this is not so. You're essentially drawing upon two or more sources, the Atlas included, to come to this conclusion that Uphrades is located in the Inner Rim, so the article's referencing should reflect that fact. It may be necessary to leave a reference note explaining that "based on so-and-so information from This Book, Uphrades can be determined to be in the Inner Rim, according to information from The Essential Atlas," etc., etc., just so the reader can easily understand the logic behind where this information is coming from. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:44, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
        • Done.
    • c) The Holonet gives the coordinates, the Atlas gives the Inner Rim and hyperlane info (since the different regions don't appear in the Holonet), and the actual mission gives the system. Is it consistent now?
      • It is, and good job resolving that part. But I'm going to repeat what I just said in the previous point about the possibility of needing to spell out a reference note for the Atlas referencing for the hyperlanes as well. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:44, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
        • Done in the same reference as above.
  • This sentence is a bit confusing without further clarification as to what the sensor readings are pertaining to. Example: "the sensor readings showing signs of life on the planet...or something: "Captain Dal presents a dark side option when he asks the Knight to convince Doctor Senessa that the sensor readings are false"
    • Done.
  • Might I also recommend moving the image depicting the planet in its pre-destroyed state further up in the article?
    • Done.
      • Good, but I believe it would be appropriate to still align the image left for alternating purposes. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:44, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
  • Despite these objections, I think you did a pretty solid job on this article. Just a bit rough around the edges. Good work overall. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:48, November 17, 2012 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • The maps in the Atlas should be checked to see what governement's space Uphrades fell under at different times by looking at the grid coordinate for the system. If the entire grid coordinate falls under a single government then you can say that Uphrades was located in "<insert name here> space", but be careful not to say that the planet was a part of those governments.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:33, December 12, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 15:39, December 15, 2012 (UTC)