Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified clone trooper (Hailfire droid victim)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified clone trooper (Hailfire droid victim)

(5 ACs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Note my spelling correction for Separatist and also moving his armor into a separate equipment section. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 23:50, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote With my artillery! (Assuming Jang's objections are met. Anyone not getting the preceding artillery reference will burn in fiery hell). - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:06, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 18:29, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:17, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:34, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 17:14, April 3, 2014 (UTC)

Object

dat Lee
  • Welcome back, Lee. The first few intro sentences need tweaking. Since the battle took place in 19 BBY, could you mention the year earlier since you gave some information about the Xagobah invasion? At the moment, the year mention does not fit well with the rest of the sentence.
    • Thanks a lot. :) I hope it flows better now.
  • Is there anyway you could make "blown to pieces" less colloquial? As an example, saying hit and killed by a missile would be straight to the point. I recommend that you look closely at the wording.
    • Done.
  • "The clone trooper was a clone" Awkward redundant wording. Perhaps starting the sentence with "A clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett,..."?
    • Reworded.
  • "The clone was part of this task force, which started laid siege" Maybe it's the way I'm reading it, but does "which started laid siege" make any sense?
    • Rephrased.
  • Wat Tambor owns a living structure? As in alive? I'm really confused since it's supposed to be a building/fortress, but you're saying it's living. If so, could you give more context? It would be intriguing to the reader.
    • Better?
  • "dug-in-positions" Where exactly are they? Did the novel specifically say?
    • Added all we know.
  • "vanished into a thousand pieces" Like the intro, could you say this in a more encyclopedic way? JangFett (Talk) 02:56, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Unless the novel says he's 1.83 meters tall, you cannot source that P&T information to the novel. JangFett (Talk) 14:15, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • Corrected. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:38, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • One more thing: Specify the type of clone armor. At the moment, you're linking to a disambig page. JangFett (Talk) 14:40, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • I'm not entirely sure if I can say that it was Phase II armor. Yes, the battle took place in 19 BBY, but can we really say that every last trooper got the new armor? Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:43, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
          • Depending on its timeline location, if it's near ROTS, then it's fine to assume so. Phase II was pretty much the standard in 19 BBY. JangFett (Talk) 14:46, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
            • Okidoki, but I'll pipelink it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:48, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
              • Make sure that you create a reference note explaining that the article is assuming because of its timeline location. JangFett (Talk) 14:49, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Can the novel support the 19 BBY date or do you need to use another source?
    • Yes, it mentions the events take place 31 months ABG.
  • Shouldn't the information about the clone trooper armor be in a separate equipment section?
    • Indeed, addressed.
  • I have to respectfully disagree with Jang on the clone trooper armor. Unless there is a source saying that all Phase I armor was replaced by 19 BBY, I don't think that you can say anything about it either way. It seems to me that we should probably have an article just on Clone trooper armor anyway. Anyone who has any information related to this can feel free to discuss this here.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 02:52, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • I agree with you and changed it. If anyone has any information that supports Jang's theory, please say so. Thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:13, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
      • There still shouldn't be a link to a disambiguation page.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 01:24, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
        • Ok, link removed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:29, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
          • Exiledjedi, that's even better. The clone trooper armor needs to be linked. JangFett (Talk) 17:02, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
  • Per the Manual of style, Hailfire should not be italicized as it does not have "-class" following it.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 01:36, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The article alternates between calling it "Mazariyan" and "the Mazariyan." Please determine which is correct and stick with that for consistency. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:12, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 17:14, April 3, 2014 (UTC)


  • Lee, the information regarding his clone trooper armor was fine. You gave a ref note, so why was it removed? I suggest that you relink the clone trooper armor (not to the disambig page) and the accompanying ref tag. JangFett (Talk) 16:59, March 17, 2014 (UTC)