Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Advanced Recon Commando

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Advanced Recon Commando

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

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Support

  1. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:10, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  2. TK-462 (talk) 18:35, April 18, 2020 (UTC)
  3. JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 02:01, April 30, 2020 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Tommy-Macaroni 15:24, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Nice work. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:28, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  6. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 10:13, June 7, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Ben
  • Would it be possible to put a date on the Battle of Kamino?
  • Last paragraph in the bio is far too large to be one paragraph. You should split this into two. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 09:28, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
  • The first section of the bio covering the Clone Cadets episode should be dated too. Galactic Atlas dates the Rishi Moon episode to 22 BBY according to the 22 BBY article so you should be able to date the first section to that year.
  • The Battle of Kamino section is now 4 paragraphs long so it would make it look better to split that into two sub-sections, which will make way for another image.
    • Splitted. There aren't anymore images that I can find of the ARC trooper, should I use an image of the battle itself?--Vitus InfinitusTalk 08:20, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • That works. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 08:37, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Done. I also added a quote for the second subsection for the Battle of Kamino, though I could not find a quote for the first that was connected to the ARC trooper.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 09:07, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Judging by the size of the bio, you could definitely expand the intro, summarizing what the ARC trooper did in reference to each section of the bio. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 19:06, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • Usage of "this" is usually discouraged, try reword the article to avoid it.
  • Similarly, "their" is also discouraged when referring to individuals, and is unnecessary here anyway as you can just use "his."
  • Per precedent on other clone status articles, hair color isn't specified in the infobox if it is unknown.
    • Oh, I thought we could given it was their natural hair color. Removing.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 23:31, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • "As an Advanced Recon Commando, they received additional training as a clone trooper of Jango Fett stood at 1.83 meters and had naturally tan skin, naturally black hair, and naturally brown eyes." This sentence in the introduction doesn't make sense.
    • Slightly reworded. I added that sentence from a previous objection.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 23:31, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Some parts of this article read somewhat informally, such as "directing him to not attack just yet".
  • The details about the other commanders at the start of the "Republic regains control" section aren't really relevant to this clone.
  • Can "the first episode of the third season" in the BTS be referenced to the episode itself? Zed42 (talk) 22:08, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • As the clone trooper Databank page does not mention this character, that reference needs a note to explain it - see this article for an example. Zed42 (talk) 00:05, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
  • Are there any quotes that can be used for the other sections that at least indirectly involve this trooper, like the one in the "Republic regains control" section?
    • No, the only quotes can be about the battle, but none mention directly or indirectly this trooper unfortunately. Maybe Shaak Ti stating that they pushed the droids back to the main hangar can be used, since the ARC defended that area.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:57, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
      • I forgot that I already added the Shaak Ti quote, so no there really aren't anymore quotes that I can use from what I can see.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 17:00, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Asajj Ventress needs context in the last Biography section. Zed42 (talk) 04:26, April 17, 2020 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • Have you checked episode guides for possible appearances? UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:34, April 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • For the 22 BBY date note, you will need to use the chronological episode order on StarWars.com to place Clone Cadets in that year (see Anza as an example). UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 15:27, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
JMAS
  • Each time you refer to him, you use "the Advanced Recon Commando" and reads a little stilted. Commandos are well established and canonically referred to as ARC Troopers as well. I would suggested shortening some of the instances of "the Advanced Recon Commando" to "the ARC Trooper" and even "the commando" to mix it up a little. - JMAS Jolly Trooper Hey, it's me! 00:47, April 30, 2020 (UTC)
Tommy
  • Duplicate links.
  • "had natural black hair," - This isn't mentioned in the ref note, nor the infobox.
    • Fixed--Vitus InfinitusTalk 16:08, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
      • Sorry to interject, but I removed that he had naturally black hair since I didn't see that on the other current noms nor on Crag which was already passed without it. Not sure if you think it should be re added Tommy. --Lewisr (talk) 16:18, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
        • Yeah, since we have seen many clones that don't have black hair. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 16:21, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
          • Oh okay that's fine with me. My train of thought was that clones had natural black hair like Jango.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 20:59, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • Use underscores in file names, not spaces.
  • Context for Clone Wars. Tommy-Macaroni 13:30, May 13, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think we should get rid of the <!-- --> bit. The article already has sprot, and if anyone registered attempts to change it they should just be rv'd and warned.
  • "his white ARC trooper armor, which included an early version of the Phase II clone trooper armor" - This reads kinda odd. Besides from the phase 2 bit probably not being relevant to the intro, I'm not sure how one type of armour can include another.
  • "Grown on the planet Kamino from the DNA of Jango Fett, a bounty hunter who became the template of the clone trooper army,[1] the clone was an Advanced Recon Commando, or ARC trooper, in the Grand Army of the Republic during the pan-galactic Clone Wars between the Galactic Republic and the Separatist Alliance" - I like the content here but the sentence seems a little too long. I advice splitting it.
  • I haven't seen the episode in ages, but was it just Munificent-class ships damaged? IIRC there were also Recusants in that battle, do we see any of those being damaged?
    • There appears to be superficial damage to some other ships via explosions but only the Munificents had damage that resulted in wreckage or damage that can be noticed.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 01:35, May 20, 2020 (UTC)
  • "The Databank also establishes that they had a height of 1.83 meters, and as a clone of Fett and had brown eyes with tan skin." - Something's off with the grammar here. Tommy-Macaroni 15:54, May 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Okay nearly done with my review. A couple of last things: the ARC trooper armour being white is currently intro exclusive.
  • Can we say he actually /customised/ the armour with the red and grey? I'd rather it be worded more similarly to the intro.
  • "Due to his status, the Advanced Recon Commando had received additional training required for Advanced Recon Commandos and during Battle of Kamino, participated in the front lines of combat.[2]"
    • Can the additional training be sourced to the episode?
    • Please reword the repetition of Advanced Recon Commando.
    • Would it be possible to have a brief mention of that fact he was mostly directing other troops in that battle?
  • Is the hangar described throughout the Kamino section the same as the "main hangar" you use later? If it is, and we can say it is "main" based on the episode, it should be introduced as such.
    • Shaak Ti describes it at the end as the main hangar; fixed.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 19:41, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • In the intro, you said "his unit" trained the cadets (I've now changed it to "his battalion"). However, in the body, you say this guy trained the cadets himself, along with the other three ARCs. Can the latter version be backed up by the episode? Regardless, this should be made consistent. Tommy-Macaroni 14:43, May 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • Final note: I've done some trimming of the History stuff. Some content, like the mention of Anakin and Obi-Wan, just isn't relevant to this guy. Additionally, please take care in the future when addressing objections, as your latest edits introduced more duplicate links and several grammatical errors. Tommy-Macaroni 15:02, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah, that escaped me I should've double checked. I'll make sure to proofread after my revisions. Thanks!--Vitus InfinitusTalk 15:17, May 26, 2020 (UTC)
Anil
  • "[…] which included an early version of the Phase II helmet." Can this part really be sourced to "ARC Troopers," his helmet being an "early version" I mean?
    • I couldn't find an actual source specific to the helmet, so I changed around the wording and linking.--Vitus InfinitusTalk 03:20, May 31, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think 22 BBY corresponding to "early" in the Clone Wars is currently unsourced. You can simply expand the relevant date reference note by adding the beginning and the end dates for the war provided by Galactic Atlas. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:09, May 30, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 10:13, June 7, 2020 (UTC)