- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Toss
- Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 18:27, 9 September 2022 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:
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(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
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Support
Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:40, 30 September 2022 (UTC)- —spookywillowwtalk 18:26, 30 October 2022 (UTC)
- UberSoldat93
(talk) 14:44, 25 November 2022 (UTC) - LucaRoR
(Talk) 15:17, 25 November 2022 (UTC) - MasterFred(talk) (he/him) 06:32, 1 December 2022 (UTC)
Object
Ayrehead
The first sentence of the bio reads kind of oddly, I'd just remove the after the Battle of Yavin bit or work it into the next sentence about the second death star instead.Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:04, 13 September 2022 (UTC)IX3244-B should be in the infobox.Ayrehead02 (talk)"Combined with the moon's remote location" suggests that there's going to be some kind of conclusion about the combination of the two pieces of information in the sentence, which you don't currently have.Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:04, 13 September 2022 (UTC)- I'm still not clear what you're trying to say here. It currently seems to suggest that the combination of the moon being capable of sustaining human life and the fact that it was remote meant that Vader believed the indigenous life wouldn't pose a threat, which doesn't really make any sense at all. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:03, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- I reworded it based on the specific wording in the source story. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 15:30, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
- I'm still not clear what you're trying to say here. It currently seems to suggest that the combination of the moon being capable of sustaining human life and the fact that it was remote meant that Vader believed the indigenous life wouldn't pose a threat, which doesn't really make any sense at all. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:03, 18 September 2022 (UTC)
It'd make more sentence to introduce the name Mission 759/B further up the article.Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:04, 13 September 2022 (UTC)- Fixed. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 13:17, 13 September 2022 (UTC)
Luca
Great work, just two things. I'd mention the fact that he's male in the intro as well.- Added.
"Toss was burdened with important duties on the frigate and thus sent Kiviett and other Survey Team members to further investigate the Ewoks." I don't fully understand how this is part of his personality.LucaRoR (Talk) 14:45, 24 November 2022 (UTC)
- Removed. I felt like it said something about his personality, but in retrospect, it seems to be a standard thing for subordinates to be given similar tasks. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 17:17, 24 November 2022 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 06:32, 1 December 2022 (UTC)