Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Threnoldt

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Threnoldt

(1 ACs/0 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 2 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 AC votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. ACvote Very nicely done. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 19:05, 15 February 2024 (UTC)

Object

Uber
  • Please ensure all references to TOR implement TORcite. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 06:37, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
  • Behind the scenes must be fully cited.
  • Missing both Personality and traits and an Equipment sections. Please follow the Layout Guide for characters.
  • There is underlinking throughout the article. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 06:53, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Hello, I believe all your suggested edits have been implemented if you'd like to review the article again. Thank you. TrickyNick87 (talk) 06:17, 22 January 2024 (UTC)
Fan
  • Intro doesn't need referencing
  • You have the gender sourced to the character NPC in-game...that's not how sourcing gender for SWTOR characters works. If none of the missions this character appears in identify him as male, you will have to check the gamefiles to confirm his gender-see Bryn (Human) for precedent on how to do this. Fan26 (Talk) 15:36, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
  • You need to implement Template "GameDSmechanics" in the body and note alternate game options in the BtS.
    • If there is no light/dark choices involved, then the general gameplay completion template is needed. Fan26 (Talk) 20:12, 23 January 2024 (UTC)
  • The beginning of the bio section, in addition to severely lacking needed links as mentioned above by Uber, provides no proper context for the Invasion of Belsavis or what the prison on Belsavis is. There's mention of an "Imperial bombing run" and then "the ancient prison that had been sealed for over 20,000 years and was known to its Rakatan builders as the Eternity Vault" but neither properly offers context for what it is referencing. Fan26 (Talk) 15:36, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Hello, I believe I accomplished all your suggested edits except that it's unclear to me whether a gameplay mechanics template is applicable to the article as I don't believe there are any Dark or Light side player character choices or outcomes related to the article subject. Thank you for your thoughts. TrickyNick87 (talk) 06:17, 22 January 2024 (UTC)
      • This last point as not been addressed satisfactorily. The article still does not provide context on a great deal of information and is presenting information out of order. For just one example, the very first sentence of the Bio does't even mention General Threndolt, it says that "the Reclamation Service" had an expedition on "Tatooine" without explaining who or what the Reclamation Service is, or if Tatooine is a planet or not. Fan26 (Talk) 20:12, 23 January 2024 (UTC)
        • I added the gameplay mechanics template, some additional images, and provided additional context in the Biography section.TrickyNick87 (talk) 18:07, 25 January 2024 (UTC)
          • There are still several instances where the writing is disordered and information is presented in a confusing manner. In just one example, the final paragraph of the Bio is one long run-on sentence that could be served better if it were broken up and some of the information were rearranged-i.e. "the Gree make contact with the Empire to request help etc etc. Threnholdt reported on the manner to the Dark Council. etc." There are multiple cases of this-if you want further help, I'm more than happy to discuss this over DMs. Fan26 (Talk) 02:15, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
  • The article could do with more images in the body. Fan26 (Talk) 20:12, 23 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Images have been added and other points of objection have been addressed. TrickyNick87 (talk) 20:50, 5 February 2024 (UTC)
  • "Empire" needs to be consistently capitalised across the article. Fan26 (Talk) 02:15, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
  • Both quotes require context. Fan26 (Talk) 02:15, 25 February 2024 (UTC)
    • The gameplay mechanics template is present. 'Empire' has been capitalized throughout the article. Context has been given to the quotes. The article's writing looks fine to me; if you think further adjustments should be made I suggest you make them yourself. TrickyNick87 (talk) 00:18, 8 March 2024 (UTC)
      • I'm sorry, but that's not how this works. As an Agricorps member I do not think this article is quite written to the level of quality that makes a Good Article. I am offering to provide pointers and more than willing to help you in DMs or in the SWTOR project channel on the Discord Server, but ultimately it is the responsibility of you as the nominator to work on the article you have nominated. Fan26 (Talk) 02:34, 17 March 2024 (UTC)
Anil
  • Per the Manual of Style, pipelinks should have all characters placed inside the link brackets, e.g., [[Anakin Skywalker|Darth Vader's]] instead of [[Anakin Skywalker|Darth Vader]]'s. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 20:43, 18 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Thank you for clarifying how to properly insert links into article pages. I believe I accomplished all the edits you suggested. TrickyNick87 (talk) 06:17, 22 January 2024 (UTC)
  • (Reviewing note) I have removed these links as subjects in quote attributions and image captions may be linked only if they are not linked elsewhere per the Manual of Style. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 16:08, 24 January 2024 (UTC)
Macaroni
  • You need to use {{Endgame}} at some point in the bio - if the entirety of the bio requires that 100% game completion, it'd go at the end.
  • Does TOR refer to "the Service" on its own with the S capitalized like that?
  • The first couple sentences of the bio are sourced to your date citation, I think you're missing a reference to the game itself there.
  • On the topic of that date citation, two things: for one, TOR_dates only gets us to 3643 BBY, so you need to explain or cite how we get to 3640 BBY. You should also explain in your date citation why it's around 3643 and not in that year.
  • "At the conclusion of the Service's expedition on the desert planet of Tatooine in around 3643 BBY[4] to uncover ancient devices previously obtained by Czerka Corporation, the expedition was dissolved" - can you use a different word than "expedition" for one of those instances to vary the wording?
  • The bit about Darth Thanaton seems more like bio material than P+T.
  • Should "empire" be capitalized on its own?
  • Review note: please have a look at my copy-edit for a few minor changes. JediMasterMacaroni(Talk) 06:26, 30 January 2024 (UTC)
    • Thank you for your feedback. I believe I've addressed all your objections. TrickyNick87 (talk) 17:01, 3 February 2024 (UTC)
Lew
  • Belsavis needs context (e.g. that it's a planet or whatever) in the introduction and Korriban needs some in the personality section. Lewisr (talk) 05:35, 17 February 2024 (UTC)
  • 'In Game Update 1.4 "Terror from Beyond," Threnoldt is briefly mentioned by the quest giver for Imperial player characters for the Terror from Beyond operation' This doesn't seem to be needed, so you can cut it from the BTS Lewisr (talk) 05:35, 17 February 2024 (UTC)
  • The referencing for human/gender/hair colour etc should be consistent between the infobox and body, currently it's all cited to something different in the body Lewisr (talk) 05:35, 17 February 2024 (UTC)
    • Thank you for highlighting these errors. I believe I've satisfied all objections. TrickyNick87 (talk) 00:47, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
      • Thanks for addressing, had missed the Asation one in the intro so nice job on adding that too! I forgot to mention about the pronouns in the last, is Threnoldt referred to with the he/him/his pronouns in the current cite to 'The message Tatooine Expedition Aftermath from Captain Golah'? If so then you could update the reference in the infobox to that or if he isn't then you'll need to cite to the reference used in the infobox Lewisr (talk) 02:09, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
        • I took another look at the in-game message and it contains no such references. TrickyNick87 (talk) 03:57, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
          • Thanks for checking, then you'll need to cite to the first usage of either he/him/his to the reference used in the infobox Lewisr (talk) 05:32, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
            • I believe the infobox reference is the only one in the article. I modeled it on the Bryn (Human) article. TrickyNick87 (talk) 05:45, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
              • I took another look at how this is done on the Bryn article and made the appropriate adjustment. TrickyNick87 (talk) 16:37, 18 February 2024 (UTC)
                • To note, this is what I was meaning, but thanks Lewisr (talk) 02:01, 19 February 2024 (UTC)
spookly
  • I think there's a lot of unnecessary detailing in the article. An example is the sentence: "Golah's team had deployed to Tatooine to uncover ancient devices previously obtained by Czerka Corporation"—which, while factually correct, is better suited for Golah's page. Stating that Threndolt offered Golah a position as done in the sentence before that is enough.
  • After discussing with several ACs—same thing goes for about 70% of the second paragraph. Threndolt is only mentioned in the last two sentences, and in character articles, a character should more or less be mentioned in the heavy majority of the sentences to detail their direct actions and interactions rather than the surrounding historical lore (which is bettter for organization/event pages). In this case, "The Republic had constructed… known as the "Infernal One." would likely be chopped entirely out of the article, and mentioning the Eternal Vault—and the warlord's name—can be included in the "Threnoldt personally recruited…" sentence.
  • The usage of "crippled" in the PT section should be replaced with a synonym per Fandom's movement away from having that on pages as a term.
  • Equipment: "shoulder/upper chest" should have the sentence reworded to avoid the /, since status articles are usually written as formal as possible.—spookywillowwtalk 17:33, 8 March 2024 (UTC)

Comments

  • I think the use of {{Gamemechanics}} is too wide here, if it's even warranted. For context, this character main involvement is with the quest "Endless Horrors" (note that he is only mentioned in "New Frontiers" dialog), which leads to players engaging with the Operation "Eternity Vault" (with Soa). Operations, like Flashpoints, are group content, and should not be considered "optional" for the purpose of determining if content related to them might have happened or not, in my opinion. Yes, not doing an Operation will not lock you out of any content (it's endgame content, so there's no point), but they represent a galactic-level threat that must absolutely have been dealt with. However, there is the issue that this mission has a republic version, so we don't know for sure which side was victorious over Soa, and on this we might want to further review the last sentence of the second paragraph ("After the mission was successfully completed [...]"). NanoLuukeCloning Facility 10:37, 13 March 2024 (UTC)