Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Sunberry pie

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Contents

  • 1 Sunberry pie
    • 1.1 (3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
      • 1.1.1 Support
      • 1.1.2 Object
        • 1.1.2.1 π
        • 1.1.2.2 Ecks Dee
        • 1.1.2.3 Ayrehead
      • 1.1.3 Comments

Sunberry pie

  • Nominated by: JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 00:31, 10 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: PIE

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. There are 40 pie articles on Wookieepedia, let's get them all to status. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 15:58, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
  2. Cut me a slice! OtterSurf (talk) 07:56, 24 June 2021 (UTC)
  3. ACvote UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 11:48, 11 July 2021 (UTC)
  4. Coming soon: WookieeProject:Pie Dentface (talk) 01:31, 30 July 2021 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 08:25, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:05, 1 August 2021 (UTC)

Object

π
  • Should mention Endor in the intro.
  • I'd like to know Wicket's motivation for lying, were they not supposed to go to the hut or something? Commander Code-8 Hello There! 01:48, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
    • Both added, thanks. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 01:52, 14 June 2021 (UTC)
      • I was more thinking what why did they want to hide that they were scared. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:20, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
        • Added.
  • There's enough articles about Sunberry related products that they should have their own category. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 11:20, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
    • I seem to remember there being a thing about not being able to ask for categories to be created as an objection, but done nonetheless. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 15:29, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
      • If so I apologize, can't find anything official for it though. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 15:58, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
        • I personally don't mind it at all, just something I've seen before. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 16:44, 15 June 2021 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Bright Tree Village is exclusive to the intro.
    • Fixed.
  • "In 3 ABY, she made some of the pies for a festival in Bright Tree Village on the Forest Moon of Endor. " I'm not sure what's being said here. Did she make some sunberry pie (in which case pie is uncountable) or did she make sunberry pie among other pies (countable)? If it's the former, you can simply say "she made some sunberry pie"; if it's the latter, you need to clarify that.
    • If I understand this objection correctly, it's the former. Added.
  • The last sentence of the intro really needs to provide some sort of hint or explanation as to why the woklings were actually crying.
    • Added.
  • The fact that Shodu was making pies for the festival—which the intro implies—is not mentioned in the body.
    • Added.
  • In the body, some sort of elaboration is needed upon the first mention of woklings. The current wording makes it sound as if the reader is supposed to know which woklings we are talking about. How are these woklings related to Shodu? If they're not related or if it's unknown, you can simply say "some woklings" instead.
    • So it turns out the only one that Shodu instructs them to watch over is Winda, they meet up with the others later on. Clarified.
      • Again, the second paragraph uses "the woklings" and the same issue still exists. Maybe "Winda and some other woklings" or something would do the trick.
        • Fixed.
  • "Shodu inquired what was going on, and in order to hide the woklings' true reason for crying, as Wicket was not supposed to take them to the Hut of Horrors, he claimed that they were having a sleepover, and that the woklings were simply crying for more of Shodu's sunberry pie." The two dependent clauses ("and in order..." and "as Wicket was not...") really makes this sentence not flow that well.
    • Should be fixed.
      • The single-clause sentence that you have now really breaks up the flow.
        • Fixed.
  • "As though to prove his point, he and his friends shoved slices of it in the mouths of the woklings." Did this trick work? Is it seen in the show? 1358 (Talk) 20:00, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
    • It's not really seen, Shodu starts chatting with Weechee and Willy after they do that. Thanks for the review. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 20:41, 18 July 2021 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of History is a bit of a run-on now.
  • "Later that day, the Ewoks returned home after visiting the Horville's Hut of Horrors attraction, which scared the woklings." The tense used here results in the sentence saying that the return of the Ewoks scared the woklings. Additionally, which Ewoks are we talking about here? 1358 (Talk) 19:22, 25 July 2021 (UTC)
    • Both fixed. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 01:34, 28 July 2021 (UTC)
      • When you're referring to events that occurred before the narrative (which already takes place in the past), you need to use past perfect tense, in this case "[...] which had scared all of the woklings." Nonetheless, I've fixed it here. 1358 (Talk) 08:25, 1 August 2021 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • Malani is exclusively mentioned in the image caption. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:12, 1 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

  • I will be away for the next two weeks and therefore not he able to address objections; feel free to list them, but I'm asking the AgriCorps not to take down this nom. JediMasterMacaroniAdmiral Ackbar RH(Talk) 02:52, 21 June 2021 (UTC)
  • Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:11, 1 August 2021 (UTC)