- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.
Junus
- Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 07:38, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Article overran on words for its CA nom. So lets give this another go.
(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)
Support
Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 23:24, February 24, 2020 (UTC)- UberSoldat93 (talk) 15:02, February 26, 2020 (UTC)
Object
Fan
"Vader thus went out of his way to inspect the threat" As I remember the comic, Vader just left the Sith cave while Momin was in there...I don't really think going "out of his way" is an accurate description.Fan26 (Talk) 14:46, February 19, 2020 (UTC)- This look better? Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 15:02, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
UberSoldat
Mustafar needs its own reference, since you confirmed that the comic doesn't refer to it as a planet in Kkkt's nomination.- Done. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
You have way too many colons in the second paragraph, try to reduce them and increase and number of sentences.- I'm assuming you meant clauses or commas, but I've cut down on that. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- Oops, yeah that's what I meant. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:43, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- I'm assuming you meant clauses or commas, but I've cut down on that. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
"Vader assumed it was a lava flea attack, something which had been occurring since the beginning of Fortress Vader's construction, but Junus insisted that the assault was a serious threat, suggesting that Vader check it out for himself" This can be reworded more formally.- Split the sentence. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
Date reference should be specific to Junus as well.UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:58, February 19, 2020 (UTC)- Are you sure? I was intending it to be a reference to the clause only where the construction is mentioned just to say that was when the fortress was constructed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- In this case, you can add that the construction event's timeframe also included Junus contacting Vader. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:43, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- Done. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 21:09, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- In this case, you can add that the construction event's timeframe also included Junus contacting Vader. UberSoldat93 (talk) 20:43, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
- Are you sure? I was intending it to be a reference to the clause only where the construction is mentioned just to say that was when the fortress was constructed. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 20:38, February 19, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
- In my review of the article, I cut out some of the Biography that I felt had nothing to do with Junus, like the specific details of the battle. Only the battle's outcome really needs to be mentioned in succinct detail. This leaves the Bio at 153 words, by my count. I also think the P/T is almost entirely unnecessary, aside from I suppose the Galactic Basic mention, which even then would only leave the article at 157 words. In accordance with Rule 15, this would leave this nomination unable to achieve GA status. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 15:43, February 26, 2020 (UTC)
- Ok, you have the go ahead to fail the Nom. I'll renominate it for CA after. Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 16:00, February 26, 2020 (UTC)