Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Hawkeye/Legends

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations | Hawkeye
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Hawkeye

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. praguepride (Talk) 17:18, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  2. We'll miss your pranks. Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 22:32, June 14, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • Are there any quotes that you can add to this article?
  • When adding a reference you should use <ref name="your ref name here"> not <ref>.
    • All checked.
      • There are still a couple of instances of <ref> without a name.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • Intro and Infobox
    • I do not believe that you can source his homeworld as Kamino to the episode.
    • As it currently is, the first sentence of the introduction contains too much information. I would suggest splitting the sentence and having the first sentence focus more on who the character is and when he was lived.
      • Done
    • You need context on the Zillo Beast in the introduction. Please make it clearer how it is related to the situation.
      • Done too.
  • I'll continue my review once you take care of these.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:26, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • as now i am suppose to sleep (-_*) i can answer you to the first thing. hawkeyes never said one word except argg. So there is no quotes i can add. For the rest, i will do it tomorrow. Thx ejEmperor Jarjarkine GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Senate Hall 04:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
      • Since I assume someone must name Hawkeye during the show, you could add that as a quote for the introduction.
        • Done
  • Your cite for the meters in the infobox still uses an unnamed ref. The current reference doesn't point anywhere.
  • You need to state that he was male in the body of the article.
  • You cannot source the personality and traits section to Episode II.
  • I'll continue my review after you fix these.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:37, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • You need a source for his homeworld in the infobox.
  • You need to mention that his homeworld was Kamino in the body of the article.
    • Done too.
  • Could you add a quote where he is mentioned?
    • Done too.
  • Unless the show names his weapon and armor, you will need to find a source that gives them names.
    • I would like to talk with you about that on IRC
  • In the biography you should mention that the Separatists and the Republic were fighting each other in the Clone Wars. Otherwise, it sounds like they got into a war over the fuel.
  • "a huge sinkhole was created in the center of the Droid Army and the outside of the Republic army, taking some clone troopers with it." If the sinkhole was outside of the Republic army, then I don't think any clone troopers would have fallen into it. Please reword.
    • Done
  • "The Republic dispatched another group of people to investigate, and Hawkeye, Jedi Master Mace Windu, Trapper, Ponds, and some other clone troopers went down into the sinkhole." This makes it sound like two groups are sent to investigate. Is that the case? In either case, this needs to be reworded to be more clear.
    • Done
  • The introduction seems a little too long for the rest of the article. Please try and cut things down a bit.
    • I would like to talk with you about that on IRC
  • I'll look at it again within a few days.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:49, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • If it is established that Trapper survived to appear in a later episode, you should add a mention to the BTS stating this. You will need a source that says the Second Battle of Geonosis took place after the Battle of Malastare. I do not have this information, so I will not be able to help you with this objection.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:12, June 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • You need to use the blog entry that Hanzo described to source this. The episode doesn't have enough information to say that it happens afterwards. Here is the link. You will need to use Template:Blog to present the link and provide an explanation about Trapper being alive in the later episode.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:00, June 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'll look at this again tomorrow.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 01:22, June 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • "The Republic dispatched a group of people to investigate..." Could you mention the people who dispatched them?
  • You should probably have a sentence in the BTS talking about how we know that it was Hawkeye who died. You can source the sentence to reference 7.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:53, June 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please provide context (and a link) for Mace Windu in the body.
  • The way you mention the Republic and Separatist forces makes it sound like they only had infantry. From I what I remember from the show, I do not believe that this was the case.
    • Done
  • You could use to make it more clear what happened to the Droid Army. You say that the bomb worked, but don't really say much about the effect that it had.
    • Done
  • In the biography, please give some sort of indication of what happened with the Zillo Beast in between them walking on it and the beast chasing them.
    • Done
  • Did the clones try shooting at the beast? I seem to remember they trying it without success. If this is the case, please mention it in the biography.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 07:07, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done
praguerpide

NOTE: These are just suggestions to make reading smoother. Any and all of these could be argued against :P --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)

  • consider rewording "..., although living beings were not affected by it." in bio --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • consider rewording" ... and some others..." in 2nd bio paragraph. Were these "others" other clone troopers? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • consider removing "...in the incident." from "...but Hawkeye was killed by the beast in the incident." --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&T is very short. Is there anything else that can said about him and his personality as a clone? --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • Consider rewording "Hawkeye, along with many other clones, wore..." in Equipment. --praguepride (Talk) 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
Master of the universe

Salut! I found a few things in my review:

  • This may be a "sofixit", but you should link to the battle in the intro.
    • Done
  • Additionally, keep in mind that things need to be linked in the infobox, the intro, and the body. I added a couple, but there may be more missing.
    • Done
  • Procedurally, I don't think you can link his height to the Episode (infobox) and AOTC (personality and traits). The Encyclopedia entry should be best.
    • Done
      • Uhm, I meant the Clone trooper entry, but EJ seems to have fixed it.
  • You should try to mention that he is a male somewhere in the body.
    • Done
  • Could you try to add more info about how the Beast awakened?
    • It may be hard because, there's not alot to say
    • Done
  • He's the one who gets squashed, right? Maybe add a bit more context to his death.
    • Done
  • One more thing, you mention the gunships in the intro, but nowhere else. You should find a way to add it or simply remove it.
    • Done
  • Great work! Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 02:10, June 13, 2014 (UTC)
Hanzo
  • Prelim: while we know one trooper was killed and the other survived, it is my knowledge that which was which was not verified, and it could have been either. As such, the article needs to be edited to reflect the ambiguity, and get rid of any assumptions in linking articles. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 16:16, June 15, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Intro objections first. The intro claims that the scouting party fled to gunships. Were all of the gunships the same model? If so, a specific gunship model should be pipelinked into the mention here: "...flee to nearby gunships"
  • I don't think the way the intro describes the events of the sinkhole search is accurate. Going on what the Battle of Malastare article says, Hawkeye's scouting party was searching for other men who had fallen into the hole, not investigating what caused the sinkhole. Please check the episode again and revise as necessary. Do not rely on our article for your research. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:00, July 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Ok, I'm leaving the formal objection that we discussed on IRC last week. The article is currently referencing the battle and Hawkeye's death to two indirect pieces of source material, neither of which mention the battle or Hawkeye in any form. The date is being culled together, basically, by saying "we know it happened in 22 BBY because it happened after Event A and before Event B." This should be properly explained in a reference note, which I am aware you are unable to handle. I'm fairly certain CC is the only person knowledgeable enough about this TCW material to properly write the reference note, and because this issue is affecting multiple other status articles, including his own, I'm hoping he can get to this fairly soon. Ultimately, this reference note should be turned into a template that can be mass-cited on every article affected by this. If he can't get to this in time and this is not resolved in two weeks, however, the nomination will need to come down. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:15, August 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'm working on a template that will make referencing TCW dates more accessible. Hopefully it will be done within the next few days. CC7567 (talk) 21:22, August 6, 2014 (UTC)
      • See here for instructions on how to properly cite the 22 BBY date for "The Zillo Beast." CC7567 (talk) 00:26, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Unaddressed idle objection over two weeks old. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:59, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Be gone wit 'im! MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 00:00, August 16, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 05:35, August 16, 2014 (UTC)