Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/FN-417

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

FN-417

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:24, October 19, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Pretty sure this is the first person Rey directly kills.

(4 ACs/5 Users/9 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote The first step on the road to the dark side. Imperators II(Talk) 22:19, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Nice work. -- Dr. Porter Resistance starbird (Talk|Contribs) 23:22, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Cwedin(talk) 23:26, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:19, October 23, 2016 (UTC)
  5. The Brave Goldfish (talk) 19:17, October 27, 2016 (EET)
  6. ACvote IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:58, November 18, 2016 (UTC)
  7. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 18:45, May 9, 2017 (UTC)
  8. Sol PacificusFirestorm 19:23, May 11, 2017 (UTC)
  9. ACvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:23, May 19, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Dr. Porter
  • In the biography section, "human" should be referenced.
  • Some context on the First Order please.
  • "As the attack on the castle began FN-417 began moving into the surrounding forest..." a comma should come after the first "began". Also, I would suggest replacing the second "began" with something else so the sentence reads better.
  • "...attempted to shot the stormtrooper,..." oノ( ゜-゜ノ) you dropped this :)
  • In the biography, a reference to TFA should come before "NN-14".
  • The equipment section needs a reference to TFA. -- Dr. Porter Resistance starbird (Talk|Contribs) 07:49, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review! Should all be sorted now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:41, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
      • Dr. Porter, feel free to add missing letters and commas yourself. :) Imperators II(Talk) 22:08, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • The fact that FN-417 received orders through radio (if it was indeed radio) should probably be mentioned in the article body, as well. Imperators II(Talk) 22:08, October 22, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • I'm not really convinced that the voice actor behind the radio contact is really relevant to this article. 1358 (Talk) 16:45, April 26, 2017 (UTC)
    • Fair enough, it was an interesting bit of trivia and since the character was never going to get it's own article I thought it might fit here. I've now removed it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:56, April 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • In the infobox, "FN Corps" is sourced to TFA whereas in the body it's sourced to Before the Awakening. I assume the infobox bullet point should also be sourced to BtA, but I'll defer.
  • "As the First Order's forces attacked the castle of the pirate Maz Kanata, where the droid had been spotted, FN-417 moved into the surrounding woods, where the scavenger Rey spotted the trooper." Two instances of "spotted" in the same sentence. Please vary your usage.
    • Done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:21, May 1, 2017 (UTC)
      • On a second look, this sentence could still use some tweaking. Having two clauses starting with "where" in the same sentence doesn't sound that smooth.
        • I've split the sentence so it sounds better. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:20, May 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • Is there a suitable article that could be linked through the word "radio" in the body? A cursory search of mine reveals nothing, but maybe you could do some digging to see if there exists something relevant, or failing that, judge whether the creation of a new article would be suitable. 1358 (Talk) 22:03, May 1, 2017 (UTC)
    • It certainly isn't worth making an article for radio, as nothing identifies it as a radio in the film. I could change it to comlink or have a pipelink to it through radio? I'm not sure if that's making to big of an assumption. I can't find anything specifying what communication device First Order stormtroopers have built into their armor or carry. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:21, May 1, 2017 (UTC)
      • Fair enough. Pipelinking comlink is probably not appropriate.
  • "allowing Rey to escape.[2]" This feels a bit disjointed, considering the article doesn't give the impression that she was trying to escape from anything. I'd recommend replacing that altogether with a mention of her being captured shortly thereafter. 1358 (Talk) 20:30, May 3, 2017 (UTC)
    • Changed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:20, May 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • I don't think naming Kylo Ren is necessary; it just raises more questions than it answers. Something like "Rey then fired off two more shots with her pistol, the second of which hit and killed the trooper; however, she was captured shortly thereafter by First Order forces." or similar would suffice. 1358 (Talk) 21:52, May 6, 2017 (UTC)
        • Changed as you recommended. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:58, May 7, 2017 (UTC)
SE
  • "who served in the military group known as the First Order's FN Corps" You can specify that the FN Corps was a stormtrooper unit. Perhaps "who served in the FN Corps, a stormtrooper unit in the First Order's military" or something similar. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:52, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • Changed as per your recommendation. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:30, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
Sol Pacificus
  • "FN-417 was portrayed by an uncredited extra in the film [...]" should be written in the present tense. The reason is because the uncredited extra portrays the character whenever the movie is played which can be anytime long after the movie has been released. I think a lot of people get confused over this, and I, for one, am not sure if the same goes if you used the verb "play". You can see Wikipedia's good article on Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith as an example. Sol PacificusFirestorm 18:02, May 11, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 05:49, May 19, 2017 (UTC)