Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Crag

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Crag

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. RattsT (talk) 04:00, January 25, 2020 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:45, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  3. Awesome job, I really enjoyed reading this article. I'll have to pick up From a Certain Point of View now that we all have so much time at home! --TK-462 (talk)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 09:04, April 11, 2020 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Objections handled via Discord. MasterCommerce GuildFredcerique 23:48, April 11, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Imp
Ratts
  • For consistency, TD-110 should be referred to as Wanten.
    • Wanten isn't identified by that name until Join the Resistance. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:35, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
      • Is that reason enough to not identify him in the article? In universe his name has always been Wanten. RattsT (talk) 08:42, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
        • It maintains the consistency of the short story, since the rest of them do not refer to TD-110 by his real name as proven by Ramsin's form. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:50, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
          • Does that take precedence over the article though? The format of the story doesn't have to apply to here. RattsT (talk) 09:05, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
            • At this point, this'll go nowhere, so I'll change it to Wanten. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:14, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Does the story give any idea as to which trooper Crag is? If not, maybe mention that we don't know which one he is in the BTS. RattsT (talk) 08:32, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • Nope, we only know who TD-787 and the aforementioned Wanten are. But I will make note of that in the BTS. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:35, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
Zed
  • If he did serve in the Grand Army of the Republic, that should be added to the infobox.
  • Galactic Republic is linked in the infobox, but it's not specifically mentioned anywhere in the body.
  • Similarly, you state that he is a clone multiple times, but never specify that he was a clone trooper.
  • Even though Crag himself did not know who the two droids, the old man, and farmboy were, I think that should be clarified in the article. Zed42 (talk) 08:44, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • Addressed. I worked in the missing droids part, but I don't think it's necessary to state who the boy and old man are. At that point in the film, they are not of any importance to the Empire, just the droids. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:59, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
      • I think Kenobi and Skywalker's true identities can still be mentioned in the sentence that begins with "Unbeknownst to them…" This would also allow you to avoid using "them" and "they" to refer to two different subjects in the same sentence. Zed42 (talk) 09:21, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
  • Minor thing, but could you also note Crag's former Republic service in the intro?
  • The events of Episode IV can be given a date reference.
  • "…contacted by Commander TD-4445, who informed them that the rebels in possession of the droids were escaping Tatooine…" I think the fact that Kenobi/Skywalker were working as rebels should be mentioned somewhere before this point, otherwise it's unclear who "rebels" is referring to. Zed42 (talk) 09:40, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
    • Done. UberSoldat93 (talk) 11:04, January 22, 2020 (UTC)
      • I'm not sure if the date note works in its placement next to the sentence about Crag's assignment. Galactic Atlas doesn't mention Crag specifically, so you'd either need to move the date near the events of ANH, or expand the note slightly. Zed42 (talk) 08:33, January 24, 2020 (UTC)
        • Expanded the note, see if it fits now. UberSoldat93 (talk) 09:12, January 24, 2020 (UTC)
Spooky
  • The Foot Patrol does appear in Star Wars: The Original Trilogy – A Graphic Novel, which is missing from Appearances; and also has much lighter colored backpacks than in the movie, which I believe should be noted in the BtS.—spookywillowwtalk 17:06, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Only three of them appear, and we can't confirm that Crag is in that shot. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:38, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
      • If not appearances, I believe it's still worth mentioning in the BtS about the physical differences which were consistent with the ones that do, which breaks away from the film's shot shows. It can also be noted that the shot in which Crag does appear (the film shot) differs from this comic, since the comic provides wide enough angles that don't cut off, depicting less troopers than were there in the other.—spookywillowwtalk 17:50, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
        • I think this can go into Foot Patrol 7's page, otherwise this will just be copy-pasted info on all the members' pages. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:59, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
          • Isn't it general precedent to note all inconsistencies regarding a character's shots in the BtS? The comic shows a discernible difference from the specific scene Crag is within in ANH; which applies to the members of that cast that appear in it, yes, but also is relevant to the character which may or may not have been omitted in the adaptation.—spookywillowwtalk 18:02, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
            • I added some info, but I still think this should be added to Foot Patrol 7's page and detailed in a Continuity section for the graphic novel's page. UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:03, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
              • Imo yeah; what's there now is enough, just needed to be at least lightly touched on.—spookywillowwtalk 19:09, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you take a pass through Star Wars: Stormtroopers: Beyond the Armor for information concerning the Foot Patrol? It contains the information of the real-life filming for that specific scene (recent film noms note between which dates it was recorded, and where). It's also got some nice tidbits about their costumes.—spookywillowwtalk 22:29, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • Added some info. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:16, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
      • Great. Just for a little narrowing to add to what is there, "The Grand Tour of Tatooine" specifies that the filming of the scene took place in the city of Ajim (which I feel could replace Djerba, because Djerba is a pretty large region) and narrows the filming of the sandtrooper checkpoint scene to the 2nd and 3rd of April 1976 (just because a couple of the recent ones list date range, when findable) —spookywillowwtalk 17:57, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
        • Done. Thank you so much for helping out with this. UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:42, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • The infobox's same frame is in a couple reference books: Ultimate Star Wars, New Edition (more than likely the old version, too, though I can't check that), Star Wars: The Galactic Explorer's Guide, Star Wars Costumes: The Original Trilogy, Star Wars: How Not to Get Eaten by Ewoks and Other Galactic Survival Skills; since Crag is within that shot, those need to be in Sources, and I'd probably take a peek around a few other of the main reference titles just to ensure this scene isn't there either.—spookywillowwtalk 23:00, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
    • I did add the Ultimate books to sources sometime ago but had them removed since the shot is cropped from the side. if it's the same case for the other books then there's no need to add them imo. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:49, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
      • Not all of them are the same shot, and I'm unsure what you mean by 'cropped', especially from the USWNE, which has this, which is cropped wider than the image used as an infobox image on this article. The USWNE's crop has more to both the left and right sides than that one, and displays the patrol in the same positions; if Crag is within those checkpointing Luke, he is there, not to mention the text itself in this one specifically probably counts as a mention and not a (Picture only) anyways. The Galactic Guide displays a different angle altogether: a wide angle of the entire street, with the stormtroopers on both sides coming to meet Luke's landspeeder. Costumes has the BtS shot of the entire patrol awaiting the speeder's arrival from an also wide angle, while How Not to Get Eaten by Ewoks and Other Galactic Survival Skills has the same one as the Galactic Guide. The Stormtroopers: Beyond the Armor book also has a similar shot of all of them. Several of those, in encompassing the entire street, have to include Crag if he's anywhere in the patrol.—spookywillowwtalk 11:22, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
        • Ok I missed that shot from USW:NE, as there is only one page for sandtroopers listed in the index. I'll add the other sources as well. UberSoldat93 (talk) 12:47, February 18, 2020 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • While I agree that we should assume Crag is a clone of Jango Fett, I don't think we should assume he ever served the Republic or fought in the Clone Wars. Unless I've missed it, the story never seems to confirm this and I don't believe anything's stated that no new clones were deployed after 66. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • The second sentence of the intro reads a bit weird, I think you should move the mention of Wanten before the mention of the droids. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • You should clarify in the intro that the droids on the speeder were the ones they were looking for. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • You refer to "the rebels" in the intro and body without having previously pointed out who that is. Also, are the crew of the Falcon actually rebels at this point? None of them have had any contact with the Alliance. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
    • They were called "rebels" in the story, which is why I used it. Fixed. UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:44, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • The second paragraph of the intro should be split into two sentences and you can probably remove that it took off since it's pretty redundant since you say it left the planet. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Wanten then arrived and stated that they were "born in the storm," it isn't really clear that this is the answer to the names question. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think you should refer to Obi-Wan, Luke and the droids by name. Currently you don't even link to R2 or C-3PO anywhere in the article. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • "they commissioned" should be "they had commissioned". I'd usually sofixit, but I believe you said you'd rather fix things yourself on IRC? If not let me know and I'll fix stuff like this myself in future. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
    • Fixed. I don't recall saying so, but I probably forgot about it. Could you show me the chat log when you get on? UberSoldat93 (talk) 05:44, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
      • Ah, seems I'd misremembered. I'll fix such things in future. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:44, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Garidan's full name should be used. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • Can you not state Crag's eye and skin color since he's a clone? Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • You can remove the stormtroopers of the Galactic Empire category as the clone stomrtroopers category is already within it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 00:08, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
Editor
  • The first body paragraph uses the same source twice in a row. After “Wanten” is used for the first time and after “droids” is used for the first time.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 12:57, March 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • He might be pictured on image 31 of the history gallery of the Tatoonie databank entry on Star Wars.com--Editoronthewiki (talk) 16:37, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
    • Counts as an indirect mention, added to Sources. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 16:46, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
      • I don’t believe you're meant to put the gallery as the link. I think you just put the overall Databank link to Tatooine under sources. If you needed to source information in the article you would put a link in the article body as where the sentence got its information.--Editoronthewiki (talk) 17:58, April 5, 2020 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Affiliation is not mentioned in the body.
  • "he was assigned the role of a sandtrooper in the Foot Patrol 7 unit by Grand Moff Wilhuff Tarkin" Tarkin needs context. Who is this guy? Imperial?
  • "where they were tasked with recovering two missing droids,[2] R2-D2 and C-3PO.[4]" Whose droids are these? Why is it so important that they be recovered?
  • "Crag broke up an altercation between Tintop and TD-787 when he described where the name "stormtroopers" came from." Who is "he" referring to?
  • "After Crag snubbed him for using the wrong name" What wrong name did Tintop use?
  • "When they finally arrived" "Finally" makes it sound as if they were traveling for ages and/or encountered problems along the way? Is this the case?
  • You use "search" twice in the first sentence of "The search". Can we get some variation?
  • "Unbeknownst to them,[2] the passengers were Luke Skywalker and the Jedi Obi-Wan Kenobi. Kenobi had performed a mind trick on the entire unit, allowing them to be eluded.[4]" Awkward with the two consecutive Kenobis here. You could probably combine these two sentences.
  • "who informed them that the droids and their allies were escaping Tatooine on a ship they had commissioned." This makes it sound as if they were already fleeing Tatooine on the ship, but in the following sentence, they rush to intercept the still-grounded ship. 1358 (Talk) 16:39, March 25, 2020 (UTC)
  • I think you could include the droids' affiliation in the intro as well. "Rebel Alliance droids" would probably suffice.
  • Using both "dispatched by" and "tasked with" in the same sentence is redundant; the phrases mean the exact same thing. Please reword.
  • You need to establish in the intro that it was Crag's squad that was involved in the firefight. Right now it's not super-clear. 1358 (Talk) 19:30, April 2, 2020 (UTC)
  • "following a firefight with another sandtrooper unit in the hangar." I don't suppose this said unit has an article? Same applies to the bio mention.
    • I'm not sure if they're named anywhere in canon, because the short story doesn't. Right now, they're just another group of sandtroopers that took part in the search. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 09:00, April 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • "Crag broke up an altercation between Tintop and TD-787 when the clone described where the name "stormtroopers" came from." You talk later in the paragraph how exactly he described the origin, so you don't need to drop it here. Instead, you should clarify what Tintop and TD-787 were arguing about, namely about the origin of the name. Something like "an altercation between Tintop and TD-787 regarding the origin of the name "stormtroopers" or something similar.
    • That's how Crag stops the altercation in the first place. I've elaborated on the argument further. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 09:00, April 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • "and allowed the sandtroopers to be eluded." This doesn't quite work. The passengers eluded the stormtroopers, the stormtroopers weren't eluded. 1358 (Talk) 08:20, April 11, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:48, April 11, 2020 (UTC)