- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Chorin
- Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:40, March 14, 2020 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Seeing as the world is abandoned by the end of Target Vader, I'm confident this won't appear again.
(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)
Support
- Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 10:22, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
- TK-462 (talk) 01:10, April 22, 2020 (UTC)
Objections handled via IRC. 
Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 19:09, May 6, 2020 (UTC)- Objections handled via Discord. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:51, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
Objections handled via the GAN. 1358 (Talk) 14:46, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
Object
Zed
"World" shouldn't be linked to Planet unless Chorin is confirmed to be one, which I don't recall being the case.Description section could be expanded a bit to explicitly mention that it was a terrestrial world, and also to include the currently-infobox-exclusive atmosphere information.Zed42 (talk) 10:47, March 14, 2020 (UTC)- If I may interject here, there's no need to explicitly say Chorin was terrestrial since that is implied by the description of its surface. I agree with the atmosphere issue, though. Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, March 14, 2020 (UTC)
- Resolved both outstanding issues. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:55, March 14, 2020 (UTC)
- If I may interject here, there's no need to explicitly say Chorin was terrestrial since that is implied by the description of its surface. I agree with the atmosphere issue, though. Imperators II(Talk) 10:50, March 14, 2020 (UTC)
You should add that Valance ran away and abandoned Chorin after failing to find the raiders.- Added. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:32, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
- Added. UberSoldat93
Target Vader 6 shows that the population of Chorin did not entirely consist of humans, as at least one individual of another species is seen there. This could be clarified.Zed42 (talk) 01:16, April 15, 2020 (UTC)- This individual is on Lowik, and seeing as a non-human is never seen on Chorin prior to the issue, I don't think we should assume he was part of their population. Could've been a rebel who was just standing with them at the time. UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:32, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
- This individual is on Lowik, and seeing as a non-human is never seen on Chorin prior to the issue, I don't think we should assume he was part of their population. Could've been a rebel who was just standing with them at the time. UberSoldat93
Ben
You should add any dates you have in the History section to the intro.You could try and date Valance leaving Chorin in reference to 13 BBY, where Han Solo also joins the Empire.Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 06:38, April 12, 2020 (UTC)- Added dates. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:53, April 12, 2020 (UTC)
- Added dates. UberSoldat93
I wouldn't count the population of the settlement as the population of Chorin when saying they migrated for Lowik.Braha'tok enthusiast (talk) 07:35, April 12, 2020 (UTC)- Changed it. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:18, April 13, 2020 (UTC)
- Changed it. UberSoldat93
Fred strikes back
In the intro, is the Hidden Hand located atop a mountain, or are the people that dwell on the mountain the ones that refer to them as "Hidden Hand"? It's currently unclear. Also, conext for Lowik.MasterFredcerique 23:01, April 15, 2020 (UTC)
- Clarified this and added context. UberSoldat93 (talk) 06:31, April 16, 2020 (UTC)
- Clarified this and added context. UberSoldat93
Ecks
"The raiders eventually became the criminal syndicate known as the Hidden Hand after departing the world." This sentence doesn't really fit in a separate paragraph from the first mention. Just integrate this into the earlier sentence and skip the mountain part.I'd say Vader's visit is definitely worth mentioning in the introduction.- Addressed the above. UberSoldat93 (talk) 04:58, April 28, 2020 (UTC)
- Addressed the above. UberSoldat93
Please check your image caption punctuation.1358 (Talk) 17:40, April 27, 2020 (UTC)- Removed punctuation from the second image, since the first one is a complete sentence. UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:46, April 27, 2020 (UTC)
- Removed punctuation from the second image, since the first one is a complete sentence. UberSoldat93
Context on Yura. From what I can tell, she and Valance knew each other from before.- "Determined to find the raiders, Valance left the village in pursuit of them and later managed to find the mountain where the raiders resided. However, he found that they had already left the area" That's three usages of "find" in close succession. See if you can get some variation here.
- "However, he found that they had already left the area, and went on to become the Hidden Hand criminal syndicate as a result." You're essentially saying that Valance went on to become the Hidden Hand. Also, as a result of what?
"Valance and the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vader travelled to Chorin after the cyborg's capture" What cyborg? This is the first time you mention a cyborg in the body.1358 (Talk) 20:33, April 30, 2020 (UTC)- Everything above should be addressed now. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:20, May 1, 2020 (UTC)
- Everything above should be addressed now. UberSoldat93
Anil
I believe you can elaborate on the Imperial presence on Chorin based on the Imperial ships seen in the first image of the History.Since Shinbone is not exactly the Legends counterpart of Chorin, I think mentioning the subject's first appearance in BTS is irrelevant, especially if it has nothing to do with Valance. Just mentioning that Shinbone was also a mining world and Valance's homeworld in Legends and naming the source that introduced the planet into Legends, as you did in the first section of that paragraph, should suffice. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:34, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Addressed both. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:21, May 6, 2020 (UTC)
- Addressed both. UberSoldat93
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 14:46, May 9, 2020 (UTC)