Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Cei Vookto

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Cei Vookto

501st dogma^(talk) 21:24, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:12, March 30, 2013 (UTC)
Ironic that in the end of the Clone Wars, clone troopers would gladly sacrifice their own Jedi superiors' lives for Palpatine. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:07, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:06, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
CC7567 ^(talk) 20:46, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
Cade Calrayn 01:45, April 19, 2013 (UTC)
1358 ^(Talk) 14:53, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

~~There's no linking to the Seppies in the intro right now.~~
"He managed to successfully train one Padawan during his career." I would change this so it says he trained one to knighthood, as Vookto actually trained 2.
- Still remains.
  - Since Montalvo was still his Padawan during the events of his death, I added that Montalvo was transferred to Ki-Adi-Mundi's command, although Mundi was not his Master.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 02:08, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
    - I'm talking about the P&T here. 501st dogma^(talk) 23:56, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
      - Fixed.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 00:39, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
~~Would you mind adding mention of The New Essential Chronology in the BtS, as you have it under the sources.~~ 501st dogma^(talk) 01:20, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
- How about adding the date of release? 501st dogma^(talk) 22:42, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
  - Done.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 02:08, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
- Please try them all, I found some more info, and added it to the article.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 01:50, March 25, 2013 (UTC)

Intro: "Vookto was dispatched to the planet Lianna to defend a Sienar Fleet Systems starfighter facility critical to the Republic." I think it should be right here that you say who they're defending it from.
~~"embarking on long journey missions" Journey missions? From the way it sounds, just either one of these words could get the point across.~~
"He eventually took an individual as his Padawan. When Vooktu returned from his missions to the Jedi Temple on the planet Coruscant, he told stories of his adventures to any Jedi who would listen." IMO, the placement of these sentences should be switched. You go from Journeys->Padawan->telling stories about his journeys->Padawan becomes Knight. I don't like how it jumps back and forth.
IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:31, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
- All taken care of. Thanks for the review, Floyd.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 01:10, March 29, 2013 (UTC)

"The energy exerted by Vookto^[1] caused him to sacrifice himself so that his squadron of soldiers could survive an enemy attack.^[3]" This is badly worded and it isn't entirely clear what you are trying to say. The P&A section does a better job at explaining what exactly was going on—he used so much power that he died. Please try to reword.
~~We don't include page numbers for items in the Sources section, and CSWE is no exception. Leaving the page number parameter blank should suffice.~~ 1358 ^(Talk) 19:28, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
- Both taken care of. Thanks for the review, Xd.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:50, April 14, 2013 (UTC)

I find myself questioning a bit if the "(Jedi Padawan)" note to Montalvo in the infobox "apprentices" field is necessary. I know that you usually like to use {{C}} to list them as Jedi Padawan/Sith apprentice, etc., but I think in this case it's a bit redundant, since there's already an unidentified "Padawan" preceding Montalvo.
In the Biography, I think it can be made clearer a bit earlier that the Separatists were the ones attacking the facility on Lianna. Perhaps around here somewhere: "in order to defend a starfighter factory of Sienar Fleet Systems that was essential for the Republic."
Very minor: in the intro, you say that his funeral was attended by Jedi Masters Yoda and Windu, which is partially true aside from the other attendees who were also Masters. I think the intro could be slightly reworded from "Jedi Masters Yoda and Mace Windu" to "a number of Jedi Masters, including Yoda and Mace Windu" for the sake of accuracy (while still maintaining the current conciseness). CC7567 ^(talk) 05:25, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
- All taken care of.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 13:27, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 14:53, April 23, 2013 (UTC)