- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
CR57
- Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:44, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Short and sweet. Yes, the quote is worded that way in the comic.
(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
- Looks good after a small copy-edit.—Cal Jedi
(Personal Comm Channel) 00:52, January 10, 2012 (UTC)
Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 16:21, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 23:16, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:16, January 18, 2012 (UTC)
1358 (Talk) 23:18, January 20, 2012 (UTC)
Object
Cav
However, shortly after the Republic forces landed on Thustra, they came under attack by Sephi troops. CR57 commanded the troops on the southern perimeter during the battle. The Republic troopers there came under heavy fire of Sephi troops, which overwhelmed them. - Multiple use of the word "troop/troopers". Can you use other words to avoid repetition here?- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 14:12, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
- Please try it now. Thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:24, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
Moffship
One minor thing first: In the intro quote, is "-Ey're" really capitalized in the comic? Usually, when a word is cut off like that, it's not capitalized.- In the comic, everything is capitalized. Should I change it then`? Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Yes. Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 16:10, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Decapitalized. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:18, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Yes. Grand Moff Tranner
- In the comic, everything is capitalized. Should I change it then`? Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Also, on the subject of quotes: You mention in the BTS that CR57 had two spoken lines. Can the other one be used somewhere?- I actually added the second part to the head quote. It begins with "Ey're". Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- This will be up to you, but perhaps you could use that second line as a separate quote for the Bio, to better illustrate that he has two lines rather than one. Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 16:10, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- I'll rather prefer to keep it alltogether, because it is one message, splitted only by the panels. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:18, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- This will be up to you, but perhaps you could use that second line as a separate quote for the Bio, to better illustrate that he has two lines rather than one. Grand Moff Tranner
- I actually added the second part to the head quote. It begins with "Ey're". Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
"CR57 was a clone trooper commander who was one of the many clones of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett trained on the planet Kamino to fight in the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars." - I reworded this to improve the flow somewhat, but I still feel it's too long. Please try breaking it up somehow.- Splitted. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:17, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Again there's the issue of not knowing who you're referring to when you say "He was trained on the planet Kamino..." Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 16:10, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Ah, got it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:18, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Again there's the issue of not knowing who you're referring to when you say "He was trained on the planet Kamino..." Grand Moff Tranner
- Splitted. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:17, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
"...that was tasked with landing on Thustra and making a show of force..." - Is that really the task force's goal (i.e., no larger motive)? It's been a long time since I read Jedi: Yoda, so I can't remember.- Our orders were specific: Establish a "beachhead", make a strong show of force, but avoid engaging the Sephi at all costs. Spoken by Pix on the first page. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Do we have any idea where CR57 was when he spoke of the "southern perimeter?" Maybe a landing zone or a base?- No, all we know is what he said. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Does the comic confirm he died? That one quote doesn't really reveal his fate.- Yes, it is said later that all troops at the southern perimeter are killed, including their commander. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- That's all. Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 03:25, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:17, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
Please reload the infobox.Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:30, January 18, 2012 (UTC)- Although I failed to recongnize which parameter was missin or incorrect, adressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:57, January 18, 2012 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:18, January 20, 2012 (UTC)