Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Bri'n

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bri'n

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

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Support

  1. Dentface (talk) 18:24, 14 August 2021 (UTC)
  2. Nice work. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 09:51, 23 August 2021 (UTC)
  3. SilverSunbird (talk) 18:17, 12 September 2021 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Zed42 (talk) 09:33, 16 September 2021 (UTC)
  5. ACvote UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 08:35, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
  6. ACvote OOM 224 20:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Object

Braha
  • Some context for Metal Clan in the intro would be beneficial. I think you should also specify them as Th'er's rivals as well.
  • The fact that the Metal Clan had recruited "powerful offworld allies" should be worked into the history.
  • "Jinn helped Th’er to find allies in order to fight against the Metal Clan." He didn't, he advised her to make allies to support her cause. Please revise.
  • The history can benefit from an image.
  • I see nothing in the comic that actually states the horned species in native to the planet. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 23:04, 20 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Leaving aside the fact that all the people (aside the two Jedi) on that planet were of that species, Th'er often refers to it as "my planet" and even Yoda refers to it as "her planet". I think it is enough proof. LucaRoR (Talk) 11:40, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
      • For your first point, that could just as easily mean the horned species had colonised the place or something. For the second point, the planet being Th'er's could be of reference to it being her homeworld or the world she controlled. It doesn't speak for the species as a whole. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 19:03, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
        • Fair enough, I've changed it to "lived" since it's certainly true. LucaRoR (Talk) 19:15, 21 August 2021 (UTC)
  • For the description quote, I think you should include what Th'er was replying to and specify in the attribution as to what about the world she is talking about. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 07:59, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
    • Added the attribution, writing what she is replying to doesn't really make sense for the "description" section since it is about possible allies. LucaRoR (Talk) 14:49, 22 August 2021 (UTC)
Z'ed
  • You can note that the planet is terrestrial in the relevant infobox field and body section (like is done here, for example.)
  • Per the Layout Guide, sentient inhabitants should be mentioned in a separate Inhabitants section. You can probably go into a bit more detail about the beliefs of Th'er and the Metal Clan in that section, too.
  • It seems like the body quote is missing an "a" in "cutting down tree".
  • The date reference should use the exact Card Trader citation rather than just linking the general Card Trader page.
  • "Jinn felt uneasy due to the priestess accusing the Jedi of being cowards, and he discussed it with Jedi Grand Master Yoda, who reassured him that was not the case." Is this really relevant to Bri'n itself?
    • I'd say so since otherwise there would be Quote-exclusive content. LucaRoR (Talk) 18:11, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
      • I feel like it could probably be reworded, then. Jinn says in the comic that being called a coward was not what concerned him. How does something along the lines of "Though Th'er accused the Jedi of cowardice for leaving the planet, Grand Master Yoda later assured Jinn that it had been necessary." sound to you? Zed42 (talk) 08:22, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
        • Changed, thanks! LucaRoR CIS roundel (Talk) 13:11, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
  • You should briefly talk about Th'er not wanting to leave her trees behind and her hesitance to seek help from outsiders. Zed42 (talk) 07:38, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
    • All done, thanks! LucaRoR (Talk) 11:14, 27 August 2021 (UTC)
  • "The planet offered many natural resources that were valued by outsiders." Is that derived from the quote used in the Description section? If so, that quote sounds more like Th'er is saying that outsiders would strip the planet of everything Th'er's people valued (the trees), rather than that the outsiders valued something on Br'in.
  • As stated by Qui-Gon in the comic: "By your own laws, by their own admission, they need your word or your blood to harm a single leaf." This fact seems to be relevant and notable enough to mention here.
  • Regarding the Inhabitants section, nice work, but I have a couple more points:
    • Could you please add a quote to that section? I think there's several that would fit decently.
    • "while the Metal Clan wanted to use the resources that Bri'n offered to make a profit." How do we know that the Metal Clan wanted to profit from Bri'n's resources? All the comic tells us, AFAIK, is that they wanted to destroy her trees.
  • So you're aware, Wookieepedia:Layout Guide#Images mandates that image captions that are complete sentences should end with a full stop. Both of your image captions are full sentences, so they need to abide by that rule. Zed42 (talk) 08:22, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
Silver
  • I took the liberty of doing a copy-edit: contractions like "didn't" should be avoided in the article body. Th'er's species should be mentioned in one of the infobox slots for native or immigrated sentient species. SilverSunbird (talk) 17:26, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
    • Thanks! Regarding the species, it is uknown if it's native or immigrated, hence, both would be speculation… LucaRoR CIS roundel (Talk) 17:29, 6 September 2021 (UTC)
      • The species still lives on Bri'n, though. Putting it in the immigrated slot would be less speculative if you're worried about that, because species residing on a planet should be included in the infobox. SilverSunbird (talk) 18:09, 7 September 2021 (UTC)
        • After a discussion on Discord, I've put it in the "native" field but the left the body as it is. MasterFred answered that: "If it’s a species we’ve never seen before and they have only appeared on this planet, it’s safe to put them in native in the infobox." while Imperators added: "per Fred, and you don't necessarily have to use the word "native" in the body. You can just say that members of a species resided on the planet." I think it meets the requirements. Thanks Imp and Fred :P. LucaRoR CIS roundel (Talk) 18:44, 9 September 2021 (UTC)
UberSoldat
  • Please cite New Edition if it still identified Coruscant as a planet. UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 07:28, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
    • Changed, thanks. LucaRoR CIS roundel (Talk) 08:21, 10 October 2021 (UTC)
OOM
  • I would specify that it's the sentient resident species you're referring to in the Description; otherwise, it could be mistaken for those reptillians.
  • The first sentence of History elaborates that Th'er's people follow a native of the planet, while the other group wish to destroy trees. This alludes that the Metal Clan isn't native when it very well could be, so I suggest you do some rewording here. Maybe state the motive for Th'er wanting to protect the trees?
  • "Although" is preferred over "though" in formal writing. (Of course, that is only if "although" can be used to replace it, so the second "though" in the article should be left as is. OOM 224 16:42, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
    • All addressed, thanks. LucaRoR CIS roundel (Talk) 17:45, 11 October 2021 (UTC)
      • Review completed via Discord OOM 224 20:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:50, 11 October 2021 (UTC)