Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Besh (Korun)

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Besh (Korun)

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:29, June 7, 2019 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 14:42, June 15, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Fan
Tommy
  • Following on from your last nomination, I think it would be prudent to confirm you have access to both of the sources in this article.
  • Furthermore, is there really no information from TCSWE to add to the article? Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:26, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • That I'm not sure on, but since Besh isn't really a massive character I wouldn't think so. OtterSurf (talk) 19:56, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
      • That's not good enough. GAN rule 1 states "[An article must] be well-written and comprehensively detailed." You have not checked all sources for this article, and therefore it cannot be confirmed if it is comprehensive. Please purchase or find other means of checking TCSWE for more information, or this nomination will likely be failed too. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 20:29, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
        • I've just read Besh's entry: it states that Besh was stung by fever wasps thus resulting in his malady, and that Kar Vastor butchered him. I don't know about the first one, but he was never butchered by Vastor; the man did all he could to save him. Guess I'll mention that in the BTS. OtterSurf (talk) 20:47, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
          • Add the information that doesn't contradict the other source to the body, and discuss the erroneous info in the BTS. Also make sure to use Template:CSWECite. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 20:57, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
            • There you go. OtterSurf (talk) 21:08, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
              • The bit in the body is fine, but the bit about wasps in the BTS in now redundant, so you can just remove it. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 21:18, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
  • I shouldn't have to remind you of basic grammar like putting periods at the end of sentences, which I've noticed two instances of with just a glance of the article. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 21:18, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • When you're deleting stuff, adding stuff and shuftying it about, sometimes periods get lost. I'll be careful, though. OtterSurf (talk) 08:19, May 8, 2019 (UTC)
Zed
  • Does the book use the date 22 BBY? If not, it'll have to be manually referenced. Zed42 (talk) 19:32, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • I'll double-check. OtterSurf (talk) 19:56, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • The Clone Wars timeline in the Arrow novels dates the Haruun Kal campaign as taking place six months after Geonosis, so I'll use that. OtterSurf (talk) 20:01, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 20:26, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
Spooky
  • Human is infobox only.
  • "Besh was a scarred individual, both mentally and physically; however, this did not prevent him from being an expressive and eloquent individual." - The word individual seems redundant, could you tweak the sentence?
  • In the BTS, could we get a release year for The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia? —spookywillowwtalk 21:34, May 7, 2019 (UTC)
QGJ
  • If you make slight wording adjustments to ref 2, you can use it so source both the date and place of death.
    • Done. OtterSurf (talk) 07:56, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
      • Can you elaborate where this timeline appears? Is it published within the book itself or somewhere online? The Clone Wars multimedia project timeline QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:43, June 4, 2019 (UTC)
  • Are there really no other quotes available? Anything said about him by Windu or other characters?
    • I'll re-check the novel, but I think I've dredged up as much as I can. OtterSurf (talk) 07:54, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
    • I've added another quote. I really think that's it. OtterSurf (talk) 08:19, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
      • Good, but I'd say that having a lead-in quote always takes precedence over other sections. I suggest moving one of the quotes to the beginning of the article. Which one to choose is up to you, since they're both equally mediocre. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:43, June 4, 2019 (UTC)
  • Any reason why Kar Vastor is continiously referred to by his full name?
  • This sentence just reads weird. I suggest splitting up, or introducing different punctuation. Windu euthanized the hapless Korun, but his medpac scan also detected that Besh and Chalk were infected, Besh through being stung,[3] and Windu dosed them with thanatizine to slow their bodily processes and the development of the wasps inside them.
  • This one as well. Too many run-on parts. Vastor killed Nakay, but Besh's wounds had been dealt, and despite Vastor's success in expelling the fever wasps from Besh and Chalk, and tissue binders being applied to their wounds, Besh fell victim to a severe fungal infection. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:42, May 31, 2019 (UTC)
Imp
  • Context for Windu needed in the body. Imperators II(Talk) 10:37, June 1, 2019 (UTC)
  • A significant portion of the first paragraph of "Escorting a Jedi" concentrates too much on Windu and isn't really relevant to Besh. For example, I think the sentence talking about the holowafer could easily go. What that paragraph should instead concisely mention is the fact that Windu actually traveled to Haruun Kal. Imperators II(Talk) 17:39, June 2, 2019 (UTC)
  • I fail to see what this sentence in the "Death" subsection has got to do with Besh: "While there, Vastor made an appearance in combat against a group of Balawai fleeing the ULF." Imperators II(Talk) 21:18, June 10, 2019 (UTC)
    • It gives context for Terrel attacking Besh. OtterSurf (talk) 07:31, June 11, 2019 (UTC)
      • As far as I can see, it doesn't. The following sentence makes me think Terrel was only involved in a steamcrawler accident, not combat against the ULF. And it already says he attacked Besh "out of hatred for the Korunnai." This makes me think the former sentence should be either reworded to better connect with the latter sentence, or be removed altogether. Imperators II(Talk) 09:34, June 11, 2019 (UTC)
        • I've removed the sentence. OtterSurf (talk) 18:50, June 13, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
  • You should check the abridged and unabridged audiobook adaptations of Shatterpoint. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 23:44, June 4, 2019 (UTC)
    • Is that really necessary? OtterSurf (talk) 10:21, June 5, 2019 (UTC)
      • Sorry to interject here. Since we've lately began to create separate articles for audiobooks and listing them under Appearances, yes, it's necessary to check whether the subject appears in those books. Regarding adding audiofiles from those books to the article's quotes, that's not mandatory. Imperators II(Talk) 12:43, June 5, 2019 (UTC)
        • Does anyone else here have access to these audiobooks? They're pretty expensive and I've already used up my Audible free membership. OtterSurf (talk) 17:23, June 5, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Starting removal vote for the unaddressed objection from Anil. It's the nominator's responsibility to follow up on this, which he has not done now for the requisite 10 days for idle removal. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:21, June 15, 2019 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:22, June 15, 2019 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Imperators II(Talk) 18:22, June 15, 2019 (UTC)
  4. ACvote This again?? I think not. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 18:22, June 15, 2019 (UTC)