Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Battle of Phu

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Battle of Phu

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^(talk) 21:53, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: The first in TCW project Malevolence Crisis. Doesn't even deserve to be dubbed a "battle", though.

(3 ACs/8 Users/11 Total)

Support

1. Very nicely done. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 23:39, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
2. Sweet. -- —Harrar ^(Villip) 23:52, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
3. Darth Trayus ^{(Trayus Academy)} 05:30, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
4. SoresuMakashi^{(Everything I tell you is the truth)} 08:48, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
5. Per IRC review. Kilson Likes PIE 02:57, 12 May 09 (UTC)
6. IFYLOFD ^{(You will pay the price for your lack of vision!)} 21:12, 17 May 2009 (UTC)
7. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:47, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
8. Great work :) JangFett ^Talk 00:13, 22 May 2009 (UTC)
9. Graestan^(Talk) 00:27, 26 May 2009 (UTC)
10. Amazing! Nice work.—Darthtyler ^(Talk) 01:39, 28 May 2009 (UTC)
11. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 11:13, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

1. Jujiggum
   • "the unpredictable attacks drove fear across the citizens of the Republic." "Across" is a little awkward/unlcear here, please reword.
     • Addressed.
   • Aftermath ends a little abruptly. Tag something on to the end of the section to make it more…final.
     • I fixed it up a bit, but there's only so much I can do without providing a complete summary of the next battle.
   • You use "also" several times in the BTS. Please reword/replace some of these.
     • Addressed.
   • Good job, as always. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Jujiggum) 22:48, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Thank you, kind sir. CC7567 ^(talk) 22:59, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
2. Priestly musings
   • "destroyed from the wave" is an odd way of putting this. Are shields really "destroyed" or do they collapse? Destroyed "from" sounds strange and "the wave" is ambiguous. Please reword this li'l sentence.
     • Addressed.
   • "Meets his fate" - used in the caption and in the BtS is POV - unless we have a source to prove that predeterminism was operating on this occasion this kind of phrasing needs to go in all articles ;)
     • Addressed.
   • Nothing ironic about characters being killed in their debut novels/comics - happens all the time.
     • Addressed.
   • Nicely done. -- —Harrar ^(Villip) 23:20, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Thank you. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:24, 10 May 2009 (UTC)
3. Floyd shoots ion cannons at your nom:
   • No main quote.
     • Oh dang, I really did forget that. :|
   • Other than that, looks great. IFYLOFD ^{(You will pay the price for your lack of vision!)} 00:47, 11 May 2009 (UTC)
     • Thanks. :) CC7567 ^(talk) 00:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments

• Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 11:13, 28 May 2009 (UTC)