Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Alora (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Alora

  • Nominated by: Ruthless Xero(Talk) 05:06, November 24, 2015 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Taking care of some long overdue unfinished business. Ruthless Xero(Talk) 05:06, November 24, 2015 (UTC)

(0 ACs/4 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Cool beans - Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:29, December 6, 2015 (UTC)
  2. Imperators II(Talk) 09:59, January 12, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Jinzler (talk) 09:06, January 15, 2016 (UTC)
  4. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:14, January 16, 2016 (UTC)

Object

Hunter Clone
  • Ah neat, more Dark Forces Saga stuff. As a sarting note, I do not recall if the year 14 ABY was ever explicitly stated within the game itself. The scrawl does say "Ten years after the Battle of Endor," but a more specific reference would have to be written out, something along the lines of "Source A places the Battle of Endor at Date X. JA's Opening scrawl states that the game takes place ten years after the Battle of Endor, and using simple math it can be determined that the events of JA take place during Date Y." No abbreviations, however, and link to what needs to be. Better sentence structure too, I suppose. However, if the date is explicitly stated in the game, then nevermind, although a special reference note may need to state that.
  • I don't think it's necessarily required, but I would say it's good practice to look out for "orange links." There's an option in preferences that allows users to see links that are redirects to other pages, and they see these as bright orange links, instead of the normal blue/purple color. Currently, this is appears to be the case for Grey DeLisle, who has since taken the new last name of Griffin. I'd suggest pipe-linking in this case. Again, I don't think it's required, but I've always felt it to be a good practice (Because orange links are tacky). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:10, December 5, 2015 (UTC)
    • I added a reference note citing the appropriate sources that place the game in 14 ABY. Also, I'm not sure how I missed that redirect before but it's fixed now. I wasn't aware she had changed her name either. Ruthless Xero(Talk) 04:03, December 5, 2015 (UTC)
      • The note looks about right. However, make sure that the reference is only being used to cite the date. For example, the fact that Alora was Lethan Twi'lek and Disciple of Ragnos is currently being sourced to the timeline reference, as opposed to the game, which I imagine is what it should be sourced too. I don't think that the timeline note needs to be reference the place of death either, unless the Essential Chronology mentions that Alora died on Taspir III. Scratch that, I think the infobox is fine, actually. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:22, December 6, 2015 (UTC)
        • At first I was unsure what you meant, but yeah, it could be mistaken that the intro sentence was being referenced by the timeline. I added a reference to the game after the first sentence so as to avoid confusion. Ruthless Xero(Talk) 03:20, December 6, 2015 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • Eye color is currently infobox-exclusive.
    • Added a mention of eye color under Personality and Traits. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 02:24, January 12, 2016 (UTC)
  • Is the current infobox image canonical? I believe it depicts Alora in her alternate model outfit.
    • That is her second model which is available in multiplayer, so in a sense yes. I tend prefer it over the bulky cold weather gear, especially for an infobox image. I believe that it's fine as is, but maybe an additional opinion here would help? Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 02:24, January 12, 2016 (UTC)
  • Review notes:
    • I've decapitalized "Master" in one instance so that the capitalization is consistent.
    • Per WP:LG, you should only put a period in an image caption if the caption uses a complete sentence. Here none of the captions do, so I've removed the periods for you. Imperators II(Talk) 04:07, January 9, 2016 (UTC)
Jinzler
  • Soon after, Axmis sent her Twi'lek apprentice to the planet Hoth, with support from the Imperial Remnant. Could you provide some brief context here on the Imperial Remnant, eg by stating something along the lines of "Axmis' allies the Imperial Remnant" to provide some background on who the Imperial Remnant are.
  • The cultist downloaded the flight information and transmitted the data to Alora before being killed by Jedi Initiate Jaden Korr. Could you also please provide some context on Jaden here, eg to briefly clarify why he was present in Echo Base.
  • Within the "Behind the Scenes" section I think it would be beneficial to the reader to explicitly confirm that the dark side path in Star Wars: Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy has been confirmed by subsequent Star Wars material to be non-canon.
    • Would a brief mention clarifying the dark side ending as non-canon suffice, i.e. "If the player chooses the non-canon dark side path..."? The article is getting awfully close to the GA word limit at this point. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 22:50, January 12, 2016 (UTC)
      • That would be fine, I have now added that to the article. --Jinzler (talk) 09:06, January 15, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nice article. --Jinzler (talk) 21:53, January 11, 2016 (UTC)
    • Thanks. I happen to be a little proud of it myself. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 22:50, January 12, 2016 (UTC)
Jorrel
  • Intro: "...during the early years of the New Republic..." - I don't know if 10 years into a government can really be called "early," especially one that fragmented 13 years later. "...during the formative years of Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's new Order..." is a bit more accurate (NJO was formed in 11 ABY) and has the bonus of being more relevant to Alora herself.
  • "In 14 ABY, she came under the tutelage of the Human female Tavion Axmis..." - Probably should be written as "By 14 ABY, she trained under the Human female Tavion Axmis..." because there's no source defining her training starting in 14 BBY, unless there is a source defining that, in which case it should be noted.
  • You mention Alora getting a second Adept hilt. What was her first hilt? I'm guessing it was another Adept, but that vagueness should be cleared up somehow.
    • I moved the mention of the specific hilt from the Biography section to the Powers and abilities section and elaborated on it there. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 00:57, January 16, 2016 (UTC)
  • Since we know that she uses specific equipment (Adept hilt lightsaber), an "Equipment" section is probably warranted per the Layout Guide, even though that may likely push the word count into FAN territory. At the very least, a mention to the hilt(s) and blade colors should at least be given in "Powers and abilities." For example, her lightsabers being red isn't mentioned anywhere in the article. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:15, January 15, 2016 (UTC)
    • I don't think an "Equipment" section is necessarily warranted here, there's no other equipment that would be listed and the only reason it's mentioned is because the game has unique names for each hilt model. In any case, I've rewritten the "Powers and abilities" section and mentioned her lightsabers there. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 00:57, January 16, 2016 (UTC)
      • I agree, and I like the change there. Nice work. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:14, January 16, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Is there a particular reason to present the death date in the infobox as "14 ABY, Taspir III[1][2]" rather than "14 ABY,[2] Taspir III[1]"?
    • Must have been an oversight, fixed. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 19:33, February 10, 2016 (UTC)
  • The Layout Guide gives some leeway when it comes to alternating images left-right. Right now the last image is the Appearances section, which isn't very aesthetically pleasing. I recommend you move that one right as well. 1358 (Talk) 20:14, February 5, 2016 (UTC)
    • Moved to the right side of the article. Ruthless XeroClanOrdo(Talk) 19:33, February 10, 2016 (UTC)
Cav
  • were searching for Rosh Penin, Katarn's other apprentice who had renounced the dark side and was being held captive in the cult's large facility - since you don't mention Penin falling to the dark side, the information he renounced it as is Katarn's apprentice would indicate that Katarn himself in on the dark side which isn't the case. I would suggest expanding slightly on Penin's fall to the dark side here as well as his return.
  • Need to move the lightsaber stuff in the Power and Abilities section into an Equipment section. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 23:12, June 2, 2016 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Unaddressed objections from a month ago. IFYLOFD (Talk) 21:34, July 3, 2016 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:37, July 3, 2016 (UTC)
  3. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:35, July 6, 2016 (UTC)