Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Zhug brothers

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Zhug brothers

• Nominated by: Tm_T ^(Talk) 17:46, September 28, 2010 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Zhugs 1/3, my first FA nomination brought to you as part of WP:KOTOR

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

1. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 17:51, October 2, 2010 (UTC)
2. Excellent work Tm. NAYAYEN 16:33, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
3. Pre-nom review + some stuff taken care of via IRC. 1358 ^(Talk) 17:40, October 4, 2010 (UTC)
4. Great work.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:39, October 5, 2010 (UTC)
5. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 13:53, October 30, 2010 (UTC)
6. OLIOSTER ^(talk) 09:03, November 9, 2010 (UTC)
7. — Fiolli 14:18, November 11, 2010 (UTC)
8. A Zhug who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real Zhug. Bonslywizard^{(Send a transmission)} 00:47, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Moffship

• As much as I love the current intro quote, I feel it should be switched with the "History" quote, as that one does an excellent job of explaining the Zhug brothers.
  • Done.
• "After settling on the moon Nar Shaddaa, the brothers started earning credits, by collecting bounties, in order to take over their former homeworld of Duro." - could you elaborate on how they planned to take over Duro? If there's nothing further on it, I feel this sentence needs to be reworded slightly to explain how they planned to use the credits to seize Duro.
  • No information available what was their plan, been trying to search it couple times.
• Azanti and Dezanti Zhug should be mentioned earlier in the intro, preferably in the first paragraph.
  • Done.
• "The Zhugs numbered in the hundreds, grouped not by blood but by their shared cause, and claimed that they were in fact a new "family" seeking to collect enough credits to seize Duro for their own." - this reads a bit too much like the one quote, and should be rephrased.
  • Done.
• Similar to the intro, both leaders need to be established earlier in the "History" section.
  • Done.
• "Instead of ambushing them, the brothers were considered unwise enough to issue foolish ultimatums and threats." - who considered them unwise? Currently, it's in violation of WP:NPOV.
  • Forgot this when removed similar POV issue from the other article, done now.
• Some context on the Onderonian blockade is needed.
  • Some context added, enough?
    • I rephrased the context somewhat. Let me know if you feel it should be changed; if not, then I'll strike the objection. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 16:36, October 2, 2010 (UTC)
      • Better that way, I'm happy. (: --Tm_T ^(Talk) 17:50, October 2, 2010 (UTC)
• Other than that, good work. Grand Moff Tranner ^(Comlink) 20:13, October 1, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thank you sir. (: --Tm_T ^(Talk) 12:46, October 2, 2010 (UTC)

Don't ever take sides against the family, Zhug

Just the one, in the intro:

• "...consisting of hundreds on individuals bound together by their shared cause." What cause?
  • Well, it's in the quote above, and in the intro elsewhere (especially last sentence in the paragraph). You want it to be more clear? I try to avoid puffing the intro with context too much.
    • You mention that they were kicked out of Duro and they tried to get back, and it does say that in the quote, but the quote and the bio are different (what I mean is, if it states in a quote that some clone trooper used a lightsabre, you would still say that in the intro or wherever too). You imply that that was their cause, but you don't make it particularily clear until the bio, and even then its only slightly more clear. Most readers can probably connect the dots, but not all of them can. For the ones that can't, flat-out saying that was their cause somewhere would be better. I'm not a big fan of overly-large intros either, but an intro's gotta do what an intro's gotta do. --Bonslywizard^{(Send a transmission)} 01:43, November 11, 2010 (UTC)
      • Try now. –Tm_T ^(Talk) 07:19, November 11, 2010 (UTC)
        • Tried and liked.--Bonslywizard^{(Send a transmission)} 00:41, November 12, 2010 (UTC)
• Good job on your first :D --Bonslywizard^{(Send a transmission)} 23:34, November 8, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thanks, I've had plenty of help. (: –Tm_T ^(Talk) 07:38, November 9, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 01:07, November 12, 2010 (UTC)

Big thanks for the massive help from Cylka and Xd1358

• Also, long paragraphs have linebreaks due line length limitation in my editing arrangements, feel free to ignore them during the process. (: --Tm_T ^(Talk) 09:36, September 29, 2010 (UTC)