Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Voss Parck/Legends (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Voss Parck

  • Nominated by: Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:26, August 18, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: One of Havac's FAs which was dropped because it needed updating. Now updated and free of speculation.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Without him, Thrawn would not have been part of the Empire. Plagueis327 (talk) 00:57, September 10, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Seems clean to me. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 23:45, September 18, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:50, October 4, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 22:03, October 11, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 20:20, October 18, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Menkooroo (talk) 00:07, October 25, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Attack of the Clone
  • Please reload the infobox.
  • "Upon Thrawn's death": link for the event in which Thrawn died? Same thing in the bio.
  • "who was an active player in Imperial court politics": it sounds like there should be a link to the court system here, but I'm not sure what should be linked. Could you check this?
  • "was likewise exiled with him and demoted to the rank of commander": more of a clarifying question rather than an objection—Parck was demoted from a captain to a commander? I had always thought that the latter outranked the former, but I could be wrong. Is that what the source says? Just wanted to check.
    • Command Decision states it (I've changed the source to that now because it's clearer there). It's also consistent with the Imperial Navy rank system in The Essential Guide to Warfare. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:28, October 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • "most likely because Thrawn had not established contact with his most loyal servants": is this straight from the source? It sounds rather speculative otherwise.
  • "His Palpatinism was apparently crowded out, however, by his deep loyalty to Thrawn." If this is true, can it be worded less speculatively?
  • "seemed to have kept Parck within his confidences throughout his career and trusted him implicitly": same as above.
  • In the Bts paragraph detailing the issue about Parck's rank, I'm not sure that the last two sentences are completely necessary. I get the part about the possible conflict, but the last part is coming off to me as speculation based on source material instead of information necessary to the Bts. Could you clarify? CC7567 (talk) 20:46, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I wasn't sure whether to leave that in. In the end I just cut it down a lot from how it was. Now it's gone. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:19, October 11, 2012 (UTC)
A walk in the Parck
  • "Nuso Esva campaign" could use an image, as there are several images in close succession at the beginning of the bio followed by a large chunk of imageless text. Alternatively, spreading those first three out would work. Menkooroo (talk) 15:40, October 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • "Parck visited Niriz after the battle was over, telling him that Thrawn had turned down his resignation." This is the first time it's mentioned that Niriz wanted to resign --- could it be established earlier? It currently kind of comes out of nowhere.
    • Done. Reworked that section too to make it all a bit clearer. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:36, October 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • Through the attribution, can you explicitly link the quote from "The Empire of the Hand" to Parck?
    • Expanded the dialogue to include Parck's bit. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:30, October 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • If the leading sentence from that section, about the transfer of resources, comes from Command Decision, shouldn't it chronologically go before the Choices of One stuff?
    • Parck tells Niriz it's going to happen, it doesn't happen during the story. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:36, October 21, 2012 (UTC)
      • Come to think of it, this must at least be happening by the time of Choices of One since he has a task force by then. Moved it earlier. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:30, October 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • "knowledge of which had apparently died out among the Empire's upper echelons if indeed it ever went beyond Palpatine and later Isard." Is this leftover speculation, or does Parck tell Mara as much in Vision of the Future? If the latter, can you word it to sound less speculative?
  • Some more phrasing that reads as leftover speculation and could definitely use some rewording: "Despite having perhaps the largest databases in the galaxy," "but Parck seemed to have had knowledge of the true nature of Chaf'orm'bintrano's diplomatic mission," "despite the fact that the existence of the Empire of the Hand was officially unrecognized and would likely cause a diplomatic incident if it were acknowledged."
    • The database one was actually Parck's speculation, but reworded or cut all three. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:30, October 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • The leading quote from "The Return of Thrawn" indicates that Parck remains in the Unknown Regions because Thrawn told him to if he died, but the previous section doesn't really get that across, not mentioning Thrawn's promise until a paragraph after it's established that Parck chose to remain in the UR. I think some reshuffling of the info is in order in order to make it clear.
  • I think some more details on Parck's meeting with Mara are in order --- namely, that Baron Fel was also there, that Parck and Fel decided to send an emissary to Bastion and that Mara cautioned them against it, and possibly but not necessarily that Fel was going to wound her with his charric.
  • Some context is needed on the Vagaari.
  • "the Empire of the Hand was said to have been dissolved..." can you expand on this, ie, who said it to whom?
    • It's a conversation between Luke and Formbi, who probably knows more than he's letting on. See if it's better now. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:30, October 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • The BTS's first paragraph, in listing the various IU sources to mention Parck, leaves out Dark Tide II: Ruin. Menkooroo (talk) 10:14, October 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • It only lists actual appearances, not mentions. I can add those if you think it's necessary. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:34, October 23, 2012 (UTC)
      • The last part of the paragraph lists three (Mentioned only) appearances; probably worth adding Ruin since it currently inaccurately says "his only other in-universe mentions..." Menkooroo (talk) 23:51, October 23, 2012 (UTC)
        • Ah, I see. Named them all and added that one. Green Tentacle (Talk) 17:15, October 24, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 00:07, October 25, 2012 (UTC)