Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Saul Karath (third nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Saul Karath

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. I love KotOR!!!!!!! Plagueis327 05:37, May 24, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Nice job working through the objections. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:27, July 11, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 17:27, July 16, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Supporting the former Republic hero. The articles great!--Commander Code-8 (talk) 10:44, July 22, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Assuming Menkooroo's satisfied with his objections. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 02:59, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Fantastic work. Hopefully you'll feel great when you finally see this added to the queue after three years. :D Menkooroo (talk) 22:30, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
  7. JangFett (Talk) 19:39, August 14, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Floyd:
  • Intro: Context on how exactly Karath participated in the Adasca Affair.
  • Intro: Context on the Jedi Covenant.
  • "Later in that same year, the Jedi Knights Revan, Malak and their Jedi faction entered the war, with Karath becoming the Jedi's subordinate." The way this is worded, it sounds like he became the subordinate of just one particular Jedi. If so, mention who, if not, then please fix this.
  • "Karath's father died in the assault after the Republic officer Dace Golliard fled the battle." How are these two events connected?
    • Better? In KotOR 49, all Karath says is that his dad perished due to Golliard fleeing the Foerost shipyards—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:12, July 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • Context on the Mandalorian Neo-Crusaders in the body.
  • "Shortly after escaping the destruction of the Courageous," Any reason why you didn't mention this in the previous section?
  • Same section: Some context on the Revanchist Jedi is definitely needed.
  • I'm seeing some linking issues throughout.
  • The description of the battle during the Adasca Affair is very awkwardly worded and hard to follow.
  • The Covenant Affair: So was Karath assigned to take Carrick out? The section hints at this, but doesn't directly say it. If not, what exactly did they want with Carrick?
  • I notice that the Covenant Affair section never once actually mentions the Jedi Covenant.
  • Also, context on the "planetary defense of Coruscant". What exactly were they defending against?
  • More context needed on Haazen's insurrection.
  • "Karath detained the Arkanian offshoot and ordered his forces to search for Carrick and Hierogryph." Wait, when did Hierogryph enter the scene? He's never been mentioned in this article before.
  • You should mention what purpose the Star Forge served in Revan's war efforts.
  • "After the conclusion of the battle, Karath was not among the Republic forces who followed Revan and Malak into the Unknown Regions. The two Jedi went into the Unknown Regions in order to hunt down surviving Mandalorians." You should probably merge these two sentences, since they're part of the same thought.
  • You mention in the intro that Karath earned Onasi's wrath with the destruction of Telos, but there's nothing to that effect in the body.
  • I'm seeing some double refs, which really aren't necessary.
  • "However, Malak reminded Karath of the fate of his predecessor," Which was...?
    • Here's the problem with that… no source actually says what the predecessor's fate was.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 07:30, July 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • You're gonna need that KOTOR template that explains the order of the planets visited by Revan.
  • Legacy: Context on Meetra Surik.
  • You mention why Karath abandoned the Republic in the P&T, but not in the bio. This has to be rectified.
  • Same goes with the aftermath of his defection among other Republic officers.
  • This needs some work. Fix this and I'll give it another look. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:58, July 10, 2012 (UTC)
Karath
  • Any chance of more images? "Battle of Vanquo" and "Jedi Civil War" are imageless, but there are plenty of pictures of this guy floating around. This one is pretty fantastic and is from the Battle of Vanquo... just sayin'. :D This or this would be good candidates for the civil war, I think. Thoughts? Menkooroo (talk) 02:56, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • No quote for "Early life and career?" The image used in it has a quote from Morvis about Karath during that time.
  • I count two image captions with periods at the end that aren't complete sentences. Purge them, I say!
  • Any chance you can pipelink the four battles of Suurja somewhere? If he participated in them, it seems wrong not to link them. It's kind of cheating, but you could pick four words such as "four large scale battles" and pipelink each one. Menkooroo (talk) 03:32, August 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • I think "The Asasca affair" could use some more detail on the exogorths. It's not entirely clear what they are or where they are (in space!).
  • A few more words could also be said, I think, about precisely how Karath defended Alek.
  • The level of detail is very good in the bio. There's just one sentence in "The Adasca affair" that seems to repeat itself and that feels a little play-by-play: "Karath asked Adasca if his forces could find a detention area to imprison Carrick, and Adasca had Vamm move Carrick to the ship's detention area." Can this be cut down to describe what happened without specifically describing what Karath said?
  • "Karath asked Dallan Morvis, now the captain of the command ship Veltraa, why the Republic fleet was firing on the planet's surface. When informed by Morvis that the system had been sliced into" also strikes me as a PBP sentence that kind of repeats itself. Can you see about cutting it down?
  • "Draay deceived the Admiral into believing that Carrick would attack the planet aboard the starship Moomo Williwaw, and was instructed by Draay..." Draay was instructed by himself? Menkooroo (talk) 21:51, August 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • "After the conclusion of the battle, Karath was not among the Republic forces who followed Revan and Malak into the Unknown Regions in order to hunt down surviving Mandalorians." I don't think this can be sourced to Timeline 8. I just watched the video, and all it says on the matter is "Revan and Malak chased the Mandalorians into deep space." No mention of Saul is made.
  • For chronology's sake, can you mention that Malak destroyed the Enclave before saying Revan killed Calo and found the Star Map, rather than presenting the latter first and then backtracking?
  • "As Revan and the Ebon Hawk's crew were en route to the Sith necropolis Korriban..." This is actually the first mention of the Ebon Hawk. Link and give context.
  • "Karath's entry in the Knights of the Old Republic Handbook mistakenly spelled "Correllian" when referring to Karath's planet of origin." This bit of trivia would do well in the BTS of Corellian, but I don't think it's too relevant here.
  • There are some tense issues in the second paragraph of the BTS: the KOTOR game is described in past tense, but the sourcebooks are later described in present tense. Consistitize!
  • Why is Category:Nobility used? Menkooroo (talk) 03:13, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
    • Taken care of all but the final one. The answer for that question is that the KotOR CG lists "Noble" as one of his classes. While we can't ignore this, I honestly have no clue as to where exactly to put this… Maybe BTS, if you think it's a good idea.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 21:16, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
      • Hummm.... I'd say put it in the P&T somewhere. Maybe around the time you say that he's not a good bureaucrat? He was a noble, but his bureaucracy sucked? Also add a link Ebon Hawk. The context is good but it's still missing a link. Menkooroo (talk) 21:23, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
        • Done. Thanks for the review. Please let me know if anything else is required.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 21:48, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • The beforeyears and afteryears in the Succession box need to be filled. CC7567 (talk) 21:34, August 2, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 22:47, August 2, 2012 (UTC)
      • As a note, the linking was fine; we usually link to all dates in succession boxes. CC7567 (talk) 23:25, August 2, 2012 (UTC)
  • Although this isn't covered by policy, I would highly recommend naming all of your refs. This makes it easier to use them in the future, as well as making sure that they don't get confused.
  • Please take some time to double-check linking to make sure there aren't any problems. I'll continue with "Mandalorian Wars" soon. CC7567 (talk) 23:25, August 2, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:11, August 14, 2012 (UTC)

  • I'll update for whatever information is given about Karath in the fourth issue of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic—War storyline.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 22:22, June 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • Also, I believe I have addressed the objections that were not taken care of in the last nomination.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:30, June 26, 2012 (UTC)
  • Maybe this should be better as a proper objection, but, seeing how in the past articles could pass without physical characteristics, I'm leaving it just as a comment: I think at least his hair and eye color (I see articles, and have nominated articles, that both do and don't mention skin) need to be mentioned in personality and traits. No more infobox-exclusive information. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 02:37, August 10, 2012 (UTC)