Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Ruescott Melshi

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Ruescott Melshi

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 17:00, February 28, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first ever canon nomination.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Nice work! --Lewisr (talk) 20:18, April 2, 2018 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Always glad to see movie characters nominated. 1358 (Talk) 13:10, April 6, 2018 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Excellent work. (Not looking forward to when it needs its first update.) Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:33, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 03:00, April 22, 2018 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Nice. Imperators II(Talk) 16:04, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  6. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:35, April 23, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Ecks Dee
  • Article is in Category:Pages with missing permanent archival links. Please also go through your other nominations and fix this so that I won't have to place the same objection on all FANs. 1358 (Talk) 23:35, March 25, 2018 (UTC)
    • I am not seeing any way to add archival links in the {{YouTube}}, {{SWYoutube}} and {{Twitter}} templates, as they lack the "archiveurl" parameter. Those are the only ones left without archival links across all the noms, as far as I can tell. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:30, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
      • You're not using {{Twitter}} on this one, but you do use {{Databank}}, which also needs a backup link. Imperators II(Talk) 08:40, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
        • Then the databank template needs to be looked it. It currently automatically generates a working backup link, so I didn't even look at that one, thinking that it was fine. However, since the archiveurl parameter is not filled, the article still gets put in that category. I don't see the reason why the template creates a backup link, if you have to put in the same exact archive link manually anyway. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:18, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
          • The point of including a functional backup link is to ensure we have a working copy of the link before starwars.com undergoes its inevitable twenty-eleventh revamp. This is particularly necessary when it comes to starwars.com and IA, because sw.com has been working really poorly with IA lately; it seems all backup versions after 20170915 or so result in a blank page. For this reason, the databank template defaults (or attempts to default) to a version from 201708 but this doesn't always work, hence the need for verifying the automatically provided link actually works. While working on my backup link collection, I've come across a ton of databank entries that either have no IA version at all, or the only IA version(s) are from after 20170915 and therefore don't work. 1358 (Talk) 11:24, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • I'd like to see the intro trimmed. It's currently quite for an article that is, in the grand scheme of things, quite short after all. If you look at it in Oasis, you'll see what I mean. Somewhere around two paragraphs of the current length would be pretty good, IMO. 1358 (Talk) 22:48, March 28, 2018 (UTC)
    • Done. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 23:32, March 28, 2018 (UTC)
      • I feel some more trimming could still be done, particularly the beginning of the second paragraph—you basically have three sentences of context for the Scarif mission there. 1358 (Talk) 21:26, March 29, 2018 (UTC)
        • OK. How about now? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:57, March 30, 2018 (UTC)
          • You don't necessarily need to remove all context there. Right now the last sentence of the first paragraph feels really disconnected to the rest of the text. If you start the second paragraph with half a sentence of context for why the group was assembled, it'd be much better. Erso makes contact with her father → rebellion learns about weakness in the DS → group is assembled to steal plans. Right now the middle part of that event chain needs a mention. 1358 (Talk) 14:56, April 1, 2018 (UTC)
            • Have a look at it now. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:20, April 1, 2018 (UTC)
              • Much better. Will continue my review shortly, hopefully later today. 1358 (Talk) 15:46, April 1, 2018 (UTC)
  • I actually think the Bio would benefit from another image. See if you can find something.
  • "In an effort to retrieve the Death Star's schematics needed to pinpoint that weak spot, Melshi helped Andor assemble a ragtag group of volunteers dubbed "Rogue One," who journeyed to the Imperial security complex on the planet Scarif, where the plans were being stored." This is a bit of a run-on sentence that would read better split up in two.
  • You start a sentence twice with "During his time with the Rebels/Rebellion" in "Early Alliance service", could we have some variation there?
  • I don't suppose there's enough information about the asteroid field and star system mentioned in "Rescue of Jyn Erso" to warrant articles?
    • Tough to say. When calling for help, K-2SO says that the extraction team have taken refuge in "an asteroid field." However, upon arrival there in the game, it is clear that the field is actually a planetary ring around a planet. I think the developers intended the mission to take place in the dust ring around Wobani, which can be briefly seen in the film. However, they must have used a wrong planet model, as the planet in the game looks nothing like Wobani, but rather more like a lush planet similar to Lah'mu. Either way, I think it's safe to say that the mission takes place somewhere in the Wobani system, since it is set immediately after Jyn's extraction and the whole premise is that the U-Wing's computer was broken and they couldn't jump to hyperspace. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:38, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
      • Fair enough. 1358 (Talk) 22:26, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • Unless there's something I'm missing, you should probably remove the three Rogue One sw.com video clips. The website is full of these video excerpts and unless there's unique information in them, they should probably be removed, as per Toprawa's reasoning on the recent Malakili FAN.
    • Sure. I'm actually down to remove all the trailers as well, but I guess there's some justification to keeping them, since they came out before the film. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:38, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • Some reviewing notes: Whereas references go after punctuation, emdashes are a special case and references actually go inside the emdash clause. I've fixed it for you this time. Second, our policy in regards to rank/title capitalization changed some years ago—military ranks should only be capitalized when they immediately precede a name, i.e. "Sergeant Melshi" but "the sergeant". I've fixed what I've come across in my copy-edit so far, but make sure to go through the article and fix any remaining instances. 1358 (Talk) 21:22, April 2, 2018 (UTC)
    • Gotcha. Yeah, I suppose didn't notice the update regarding the rank capitalizations, since it occurred in the period when I was largely inactive on the wiki QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:38, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • "The Alliance recruited Erso on a mission to locate her father, and she discovered that the superweapon was named "Death Star." According to Galen, he had secretly sabotaged the project" I'd like to see these sentences/events linked a bit better, specifically that she actually did locate her father and that it was through him that she discovered the DS name. I'd propose something like "she learned through him that blah blah blah" but combining the two sentences results in a run-on so I'll leave the implementation to you.
  • "A complete copy of the plans was being kept inside a secure vault in the Imperial security complex on the planet Scarif." This sentence feels like a fragment and disconnected to the rest; see if you can do some recombination around here.
  • "Melshi was contacted by Rook, who informed him that Andor and Erso had successfully retrieved the Death Star plans" You could probably mention here the method of communication between Melshi and Rook.
  • "Graze" usually means very little damage ('twas but a flesh wound...) so I'm a bit confused why Melshi succumbed to this apparently minor damage. Maybe a more suitable word could be used.
  • That's it for the Biography. I haven't yet read the rest, but I feel like the P&T would benefit from either subsectioning, or if feasible, a split into a Skills and abilities section as per the WP:LG.
    • Skills and abilities section added. Couldn't really think of a good quote for that section, so the current one is...meh. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:28, April 4, 2018 (UTC)
  • Same goes for the Bts. An "Inconsistencies" subsection would probably be appropriate. 1358 (Talk) 22:26, April 3, 2018 (UTC)
  • I think the two first sentences of the second paragraph in the PT should be moved up to the first paragraph; the first sentence in particular feels very disconnected and would probably fit better where you discuss his experience and veterancy in the rebellion.
  • Do you think you could replace one of the "acquainted" in the last paragraph of the PT? It gets a bit repetitive.
  • Two consecutive sentences in Equipment start with "During the...", can we have some variation here?
  • "all released simultaneously with the film on December 16 of 2016." This will need some sort of citation. Maybe this would work as a single reference for all of those. 1358 (Talk) 12:17, April 5, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Melshi also made additions to a Rebel field manual" Do we/should we have an article on this field manual?
    • Article created. Upon closer examination of The Rebel Files, I was also able to find a better quote for S&A. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:01, April 6, 2018 (UTC)
  • In "Breaking the rules", you call Tonc a colonel whereas the quote caption in "The last chance to succeed" calls him a corporal. Which is correct?
  • "...even though he was not the highest ranking officer present on the mission.[3] Even though he himself was on Scarif..." The two instances of "even though" make this part read very repetitive.
  • I feel like the first paragraph of the Bts regurgitates the Appearances/Sources lists too much. Unless there's something unique or interesting about the comic book adaptions or the trading card, I don't think we need to list them there—that's why we have the Appearances/Sources sections after all.
  • You should be using {{Topps}} for the SWCT entry in Sources.
  • And that's all, I think. Very interesting read overall. 1358 (Talk) 21:40, April 5, 2018 (UTC)
Lewisr
  • I can see things like comlink, hair, eye not linked so I think you should have a go through again and see if there are things that could be linked --Lewisr (talk) 14:50, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • Should the paragraph starting 'The Battle of Scarif was the first major battle of what came to be known as the Galactic Civil War' not be under a legacy heading? --Lewisr (talk) 14:50, March 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • How about including Ematt's bit about Melshi being gone too soon as a quote in the legacy section? --Lewisr (talk) 19:50, April 2, 2018 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Reference 14 needs a backup link. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:46, April 11, 2018 (UTC)
    • The template was messed up. Fixed. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 21:02, April 11, 2018 (UTC)
      • Unfortunately, none of the SW.com backup links in this article work. This is a new problem where archive versions of StarWars.com links from late 2017 to present do not work. If you open the backup link and let it load, it eventually turns into a blank white page and never finishes loading. We're not sure why that happens, but you will need to either find an earlier Archive.org version or use another archiving website like archive.is. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:17, April 11, 2018 (UTC)
        • Should be fixed now. The 2016 archive versions seem to work fine, at least for me. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 06:15, April 12, 2018 (UTC)
  • Just a heads up that Canon consistently de-capitalizes the term "rebel" is nearly 100% of all instances, even when referring to a proper Rebel Alliance subject, as opposed to Legends, where it is always capitalized. It's only capitalized in Canon for "Rebel Alliance" and "Rebellion." You should go through this article and de-capitalize the term in all appropriate instances. I made necessary changes to the intro to start you off. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:05, April 12, 2018 (UTC)
    • Done. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:30, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
      • You de-capitalized "rebellion" in several instances, though I noted that term should remain capitalized when referring to the formal Rebel Alliance. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:53, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
        • Changed it back. Am I correct to assume that the word "rebellion" should stay de-capitalized in the very first sentence of the bio, since it does not necessarily refer to the Rebel Alliance, just general resistance against the Empire? QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
          • Yes, I believe that's correct, since it's pre-formal Alliance, which I guess is anything before that one Rebels episode with Mon Mothma on the Ghost. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:31, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • This guy should probably have an article. "However, when another prisoner asked Melshi to unbind him"
  • No article for this asteroid field? "take refuge inside an asteroid field in the Wobani system"
    • Per the discussion with Ecks above, it is hard to determine whether this asteroid field was actually an asteroid field. I'm going with what the game says, but it definitely looks like a planetary ring orbiting a planet, which for all intents and purposes could be Wobani itself. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Are you 100% sure this is an ISD-I? I ask because I know the difference isn't always crystal clear due to limited/lacking artistic rendering. "However, as soon as the Vigilant arrived in the system, an Imperial I-class Star Destroyer emerged from hyperspace"
    • I suppose we don't know for sure in this case. Changed it to just ISD. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • In the "Breaking the rules" section, it would be much better to show the image of the group of assembled volunteers in the Yavin 4 hangar right before they leave for Scarif. I believe Melshi is in that shot, and even if he's not, that image is far more relevant to his character than a random aerial shot of the base.
    • Added. Had to use the image with Andor facing away, as the Rebels behind him are actually in focus of the camera in that shot. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Ihe "Last chance" subsection, I'd rather see the similar quote from the film used there rather than the one you've taken from the junior novel. The film quote will be much more recognizable to people, plus it has two lines for Melshi, and we can use an audio clip from the film.
    • Added the quote from the film. I have no idea how to extract audio clips from films, so this part of the objection will take a bit of time. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
      • Don't worry about the audio clip, as it's not a formal requirement. Ayrehead often goes through and adds them in to articles, so we can ask him. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:19, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • Aren't they actually killed by death troopers? "before he and Malbus too met their end at the hands of stormtroopers."
  • In the first sentence of "Legacy," I feel like you probably need to stick a Rogue One ref in there somewhere, since ANH doesn't explicitly identify the Scarif battle by name. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:53, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
  • The Appearances/Sources also need to note which sources first identified him as Ruescott. The 1stID template allows for the "simultaneous" feature as well. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:58, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
    • Welp, the appearances section is now a huge monstrosity of templates, but I suppose its precise, at least. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 19:16, April 13, 2018 (UTC)
Imperators
  • There's just a bit of intro-exclusive info: "renowned Imperial scientist Galen Erso" (compare to the body's "the weapon's leading engineer, Galen Erso"). Imperators II(Talk) 16:23, April 22, 2018 (UTC)
  • Unfortunately, the Appearances/Sources is still missing a bit: where was the sergeant first identified as Melshi? Imperators II(Talk) 16:23, April 22, 2018 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 17:08, April 23, 2018 (UTC)