Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Rakata

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Rakata

(0 Inq/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. Accurate, concise and complete. I believe that it is worthy of being a featured article.

Object

• Infobox needs properly referenced. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:12, 27 December 2007 (UTC)

1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
   • Bad grammar in the infobox.
   • Distinctions and Famous Members fields could use cleanup/expansion.
   • This is more of a stylistic concern, but could we get the large round numbers {e.g., 500, 20,000) spelled out?
   • Links to sentient and galactic history would be nice in the intro and article.
   • "eat and defile the bodies of slain enemies" is POV.
   • Introduction needs a rewrite to correct stilted prose.
   • The article itself, particularly the Infinite Empire section and its first paragraph, should be shifted so as to give a proper start; right now it reads as though it was an extension of the introduction which, IMHO, flows badly.
   • "their meteoric rise to power" seems a bit POV-ish; surely this could be phrased better.
   • The entire third paragraph of the first section (detailing dealings with the Sith) is, if not POV, at least a really bad wording. Also, surely there is room for expansion of this incident.
   • Is it my imagination, or did the civil war come after the plague? If I'm wrong, nevermind.
   • The entire Infinite Empire section reads like a series of disjointed paragraphs that only touch briefly on the points they attempt to cover. Please expand and address transitioning issues.
   • "Elders tribe" should be "Elder tribe" or, better yet, "the Elder Rakata".
   • "Darth Revan and Darth Malak's timely arrival in the system gave the elders a perfect opportunity" reads awkwardly.
   • The entire Jedi Civil War section, particularly the third paragraph, needs expansion.
   • Please incorporate remarks in parentheses into the prose; if it's worth mentioning, it's worth mentioning in the context of a sentence.
   • "under the Rakata's thumb" is POV.
   • Please capitalize the "m" in "Map" for Star Map.
   • Improper use of apostrophes; "Builder's" should be "Builders'" throughout the article when used in the possessive form.
   • When mentioning the "mysterious box" prison, game information should receive a footnote indicating that it is optional. Revan does not have to open the box; also, "after playing with one such device" sounds, well...silly.
   • Kindly eliminate the bullet points from the Behind the scenes section; as well, a link to the Rakatan Band will suffice instead of quoting the item's stats. In addition, "obviously" in the same paragraph is unneeded.
   • Is an item in the BtS about the species from Mass Effect really necessary?
   • TIMMMMMMBERRRRRR!!--Goodwood ^{(Alliance Intelligence)} 03:45, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
2. From Jaina Solo
   • The intro needs to be expanded.
   • File:LehonBeach.jpg could be properly sourced.
     • Sourced for kicks and giggles.--Goodwood ^{(Alliance Intelligence)} 07:01, 30 December 2007 (UTC)

--Jaina Solo^(Talk) 16:21, 29 December 2007 (UTC)

Comments

• Will the real nominator please sign? Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:12, 27 December 2007 (UTC)
  • Per Ataru. Also, the FAN template is not appended to the actual article. Please remedy this.--Goodwood ^{(Alliance Intelligence)} 03:45, 27 December 2007 (UTC)

Remove Nom (Inq only)

1. Thefourdotelipsis 07:07, 3 January 2008 (UTC)
2. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 17:49, 6 January 2008 (UTC)
3. Since no one has come to claim it. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 23:40, 7 January 2008 (UTC)
4. Graestan^(Talk) 01:53, 9 January 2008 (UTC)
5. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 00:13, 10 January 2008 (UTC)