Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Pix

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Pix

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:24, June 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Well, before other stuff will take my time in the next few weeks, I thought I leave you with something to do. :P And yes, this is a FA nom from me, they're very few and the last one was two years ago. It is time.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. praguepride (Talk) 15:25, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 07:58, June 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Code-8
praguepride
  • Shouldn't the infobox image have the words blanked out as per other comic book scans? --praguepride (Talk) 13:39, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • In this case, no, as the bubble is immediately connected to another bubble. There it does not need removing. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:56, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
From the Book of Jangeth
  • You cannot clearly identify Pix nor Cal in the bio's first image because of its large resolution. Please find a way to make them more noticeable. You can always accurately mention their positions in the file's caption as well.
  • Does Jedi: Yoda really mention "She was accepted into the Jedi Order and chosen as a Padawan learner by the Weequay Jedi Master Tyr" or is it extrapolate information?
    • Depends, Sir. For me yes, since she is a Jedi and apprenticed by Tyr in the comic. However, I rephrased it, tell me what you think.
  • The next sentence pertaining to 22 BBY is fluff, Lee.
    • Killed the stuff about the Jedi, but left the basic info there.
      • You don't need that random piece of information in this article. All you should say is "During the second year of the Clone Wars" or something to that extent. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Pix and her master were part of the group, which was to make a show of force, but not engage in any hostile actions." The "which was to make a show of force" reads awkwardly, especially given the context of the sentence. Unlike the intro, could you reword it here?
    • Reworded both sentences.
      • You didn't do anything. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
        • Sir, no sir: It reads: the Republic responded by dispatching a task force to Thustra, where it should make a show of force, but not engage in any hostile actions. Pix and her master were part of the group, together with Jedi Master Tyffix, his Padawan Cal and Clone Commanders[1] TK-571[4] and CR57.[1] .
  • "After mourning their fallen teachers with Cal, who had just arrived at the tent, Pix" "With Cal" implies that Cal isn't mourning his fallen teacher. By saying "their fallen teachers with Cal" it sounds like Cal just joined them (Pix is only identified later) to mourn. Try to find a way to mention Pix and Cal.
    • Better?
  • More to come. JangFett (Talk) 02:26, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • Eagerly awaiting them, sir. Thanks for your time, I know it is "numbered". Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:26, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • You mentioned Clutch in an earlier paragraph but waited later to introduce his nickname. Please mention his nickname earlier.
    • The reason was that the other clone, CR57, had no nickname. But fair enough.
  • "Tyr Force pushed his Padawan out of the command tent, which shortly after exploded when a Sephi suicide bomber blew it up." Check your grammar here.
  • I'm assuming he died in the explosion, correct? If so, then please make it clear that Tyr died in the explosion.
    • Added.
  • Who is Pix contacting on Coruscant?
    • Not said, sir. Have a look at the quote. The communication is eventually viewed by Palps and Co., but we can not say that she immediately tried to contact these.
  • I tried to tweak your grammar here: "The message was received by". However, as I read your sentence, I wasn't sure if Oppo suggested to send Yoda to the planet. I changed it to "The group" in the following sentence, so check to see if it's correct.
    • All good, thanks.
  • As I was copy-editing the "went to greet the new Jedi Master" sentence, I ran into an issue: You didn't make it clear that neither Pix nor Cal knew that Yoda was coming. Instead, you waited until the last second. Lee, this isn't some novel you're writing here, it's an encyclopedia article. :P You're going to have to mention things before they happen here. It's better for the reader and it'll make the read less confusing.
    • Yeah, that's why I refrain from writing FAs. Done.
  • "Yoda reminded the two Padawans that they should have waited with their call for reinforcements and instead conferred with him, as there where other paths to victory then the military one." I don't know what you're trying to say here.
    • Better?
  • I'll continue my review later. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • "aid the orphaned apprentices" Does the source use orphaned to refer to the Padawans? It doesn't feel like the right term to use for Padawans who lost their masters.
  • The citation for the year does not fully cite the year as it gives no date for the Battle of Geonosis.
    • From the given information, the month that the battle occurred is necessary for determining the year.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 06:36, January 3, 2015 (UTC)
  • Are the suicide bombers a people killing themselves with bombs or actual bomber ships? The article doesn't make it clear.
  • Commander Dekluun needs some context.
  • Her lightsaber should be mentioned in the equipment section.
  • Can the entire release date be sourced directly to the comic?
  • The link for reference 6 is dead. Please try to find an archived link and use Template:Cite_web for the reference.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:28, November 30, 2014 (UTC)
    • All done. Thanks for reviewing. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:01, December 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • Take a look at the cite web template, there are more fields of the template that should be filled out. You should definitely include the author, the original link, and the archive information.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 06:36, January 3, 2015 (UTC)
  • Does the comic state that HOON was an American?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 06:36, January 3, 2015 (UTC)
Cav
  • You mention in both the bio and PT Pix's suspicions and doubts about Navi, but do not mention what form these doubts took place.
  • The mention about not being able to sense the suicide bomber in the PT should be moved to the Powers and Abilities section, noting her lack of awareness. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 17:51, January 10, 2015 (UTC)

Comments

  • Dedicated to Bosnia who made it first time and all those others who did not make it despite being close to it (Venezuela, Iceland, Uzbekistan, Panama, Burkina Faso, Cape Verde). Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:24, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

Emperor's advices

  • As a note to the honored members of the Inquisitors. Jang's objection is addressed since MID-JULY. Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:04, October 9, 2014 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Unaddressed objections over three weeks old. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:07, January 26, 2015 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:09, January 26, 2015 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 20:19, January 26, 2015 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Cade GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:26, January 26, 2015 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 23:00, January 26, 2015 (UTC)