Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Parella Jiramma Baco

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Parella Jiramma Baco

  • Nominated by: Jinzler 15:15, June 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: We need more Hutt FAs

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Plagueis327 01:58, June 12, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:43, July 17, 2012 (UTC)
  3. JangFett (Talk) 22:54, August 2, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Good job. We do need more Hutt FAs. Menkooroo (talk) 17:36, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:25, August 21, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Pretty sweet Hutt. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 16:29, August 24, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 06:11, September 14, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Jangeth
  • "However, the being realized that it was being hunted and it bolted to Parella's right, along the line of flames." Not quite understanding who the "being" is. Was it the Gorach?
  • Was it said that the armor Parella wore during his hunt for the Gorach was the same as his Hutt battle armor which was mentioned in the "death of Popara" section? I know you clarified this in the Equipment section, but it is confusing in the bio.
  • Watch out for "its" and "it's." :P I had to correct a few in the article. JangFett (Talk) 19:07, July 7, 2012 (UTC)
    • Cheers, I will bear that in mind when nominating articles in the future. Thanks for your review, and please let me know if any further improvements are required. --Jinzler (talk) 20:41, July 15, 2012 (UTC)
Hutt. Battle armor.
  • There's one sentence in the bio that doesn't seem right: "The being drove Parella off of a cliff and into a mud pool below, and after shedding his helmet to distract the Gorach, Parella stabbed the creature..." The "and" after the first comma seems off, as the Gorach is the subject before the comma, while Parella becomes the subject after the comma. Can you reword?
  • Near the end of the bio, the sentence beginning with "However, Zuma rose to the Hutt's challenge..." has a lot of commas and seems a little run-on. Can you break it up?
  • Is there anything else that could go into P&T? I ask because the sentence "Parella tossed his Pa'lowick guide inside" in the bio made me picture him throwing her inside as bait/a potential sacrifice. If I'm wrong and it was something to which she agreed, can you reword that bio sentence?
    • I've added something. --Jinzler (talk) 10:00, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • In "Equipment," it mentions that he considers obtaining new armor right before saying that he acquired new battle armor. If he ended up doing it, is it necessary to first say that he considered doing it? Seems a bit repetitive to not just cut to the chase.
    • I see your point, I have now removed that part. --Jinzler (talk) 10:00, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • Can you take a crack at using {{WebCite}} for the final two references? I know there's no policy on it, but it's a good, descriptive template for external links that identifies useful things such as author and the date their comment was posted. title, work, author, date (if known), and accessdate are the important fields to include (and obviously URL :P). Menkooroo (talk) 01:55, August 3, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done, and thank you for your review. --Jinzler (talk) 10:00, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Just some minor nitpicking: Is there a reason for durasteel's capitalization in the P&T? The article on durasteel seems to use lowercase.
  • Great work. 1358 (Talk) 21:48, September 7, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks! --Jinzler (talk) 10:02, September 9, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 06:11, September 14, 2012 (UTC)