- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Nei Rin
- Nominated by: Menkooroo 06:41, February 9, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Cade is her lovechild.
(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:45, May 4, 2011 (UTC)- CC7567 (talk) 03:06, May 8, 2011 (UTC)
- Grand Moff Tranner
(Comlink) 14:27, May 8, 2011 (UTC) - QuiGonJinn (Talk) 20:19, May 9, 2011 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 07:54, May 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Kilson(Let's have a chat) 21:05, May 12, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Green Tentacle
Intro: "The Yuuzhan Vong were seen as pariah throughout the galaxy…" Shouldn't that be "pariahs?"- Yes! Good catch. Changed.
Architect of hope: "as a Shaper, Rin was a highly-regarded…" "Master Shaper" is capitalized throughout but this appears to be the only place where "shaper" is capitalized (other than Jan's quote). I assume it should be lower case like the others?- Yessum. Changed.
Architect of hope: "Nei Rin set to work shaping coral seeds, tending villips and biots…" Spare me your medical mumbo jumbo. Context please.- We're going to open you up, and tinker with your ticker. I mean... it's better now, I think.
Protector of a legacy: "[Cade] had grown into a young man and was a mystery to the shaper's eyes" reads a little flowery.- De-flowered! :P
Personality and traits: "Rin was ready to and pleased that she could turn the Jedi legacy over to the son of the man she had admired" seems like it either needs rephrasing or the application of commas around the pleased part. Green Tentacle (Talk) 19:46, May 3, 2011 (UTC)- Rephrased. Thanks for the review! Here's a handy link to the changes I made. Menkooroo 01:31, May 4, 2011 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
This is a really, really, really minor clarification, but within the bilingual quotes, is a "<" or "«" supposed to be used? The latter is what {{Dialogue Bilingual}} uses, but I was wondering if there was something I'm missing.- With some help from Xd, I've tidied it up to what it should properly be. Thanks for pointing it out.
"but Sazen assured her that Cade was the exception rather than the rule": it seems like you're trying here to directly implement dialogue from the comic, but the "exception rather than the rule" part isn't really clear. Exception to what "rule"? The Code? The Jedi's honor?- Reworded to be (hopefully) clearer.
The Temple/temple capitalization (when it's just "Temple," not "Jedi Temple") is a little inconsistent. I know that capitalization can vary depending on the situation, but could you clarify the inconsistencies (and perhaps make them a little more consistent)?- Good catch. I recently came across this in some Legacy articles while writing about the Hidden Temple, and I ultimately decided that a lowercase "temple" was proper when it wasn't preceded by "Hidden." As such, I've decapitalized every "temple" that isn't paired with "Jedi" here.
- Great work otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 07:15, May 5, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review! Menkooroo 15:45, May 5, 2011 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 03:34, May 13, 2011 (UTC)