- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Nahdonnis Praji
- Nominated by: Darth Morrt 21:16, December 31, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:My first FAN.
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
- Hanzo Hasashi 16:02, January 3, 2011 (UTC)
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Support! Menkooroo 08:12, March 29, 2011 (UTC)- QuiGonJinn
(Talk) 19:33, March 30, 2011 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 19:37, May 14, 2011 (UTC)- Jinzler 16:27, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
- Ah the excitement of the first nomination... is gone during the review process this long. (; –Tm_T (Talk) 06:05, June 5, 2011 (UTC)
Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 18:17, June 8, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Xd1358
Some preliminary objections:
Praji wasn't an Imperial commander when he was born. Change this into his gender and species, please.Check your image caption punctuation.Quote attributions don't need periods in the end.Is the Appearances section's subheading really necessary? How about just putting {{Nc}} after the item?1358 (Talk) 12:11, January 8, 2011 (UTC)- All fixed. Darth Morrt 17:31, January 8, 2011 (UTC)
One more for now: Can you merge the paragraphs of the intro into two? Having many paragraph breaks makes the text look ugly. :P1358 (Talk) 14:21, February 5, 2011 (UTC)- Done. Darth Morrt 21:07, February 5, 2011 (UTC)
.
Why do you mention the Republic—which serves no point in the intro it seems—then quickly transition to saying Praji joined the Empire in the next sentence. It sounds very disjointed. JangFett (Talk) 04:38, February 6, 2011 (UTC)- It seemed wrong to stated the Praji was born on the capital of the Empire, when he was born during the Republic. Re-worded. Darth Morrt 07:51, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Not quite. You cannot say "galactic capital," since it could mean it's the galaxy's entire capital, which is false. Perhaps you could say he was born during the waning years of the Republic, then joined the newly Galactic Empire when he grew older. JangFett (Talk) 17:26, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Fixed. Darth Morrt 13:31, February 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Not quite. You cannot say "galactic capital," since it could mean it's the galaxy's entire capital, which is false. Perhaps you could say he was born during the waning years of the Republic, then joined the newly Galactic Empire when he grew older. JangFett (Talk) 17:26, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
- It seemed wrong to stated the Praji was born on the capital of the Empire, when he was born during the Republic. Re-worded. Darth Morrt 07:51, February 6, 2011 (UTC)
Early years- The first paragraph of the biography should reflect on the first sentence of the intro. Meaning, he was born during the waning years of the Republic, and then became an Imperial agent after the Empire was formed.- Done.
You say he joined the Imperial Navy in the bio, but said he joined some sort of Acemdey in the intro. Could you clarify this in the intro?- He joined the navy and was trained on Carida. Try now. Darth Morrt 16:20, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
- Will continue with Blockade of Toprawa later, JangFett (Talk) 19:18, March 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 20:28, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Review
If TTSP states that he was born in 37 BBY, isn't that enough info to add Rise of the Empire era to the infobox?- Done.
- Ah, right. I should have said infobox and "eras." Good call.
- Done.
The first sentence of Blockade of Toprawa is sourced to ANH, but ANH says nothing about Toprawa --- probably better to source the entire beginning of the paragraph up to was declared restricted, to the radio drama.- Done.
In Blockade of Toprawa: The beginning of the third paragraph repeats the same info from the end of the second paragraph. If Praji and Raymus's conversation appears in both the radio drama and The Rise and Fall of Darth Vader then it's likely the same thing twice; if the two sources tell slightly different versions of it, there are better ways to attempt to reconcile the two accounts than to assume that the event happened twice in a row.- Maybe I was too detailed here. Praji detected the signal and ordered Antilles to stop and prepare for boarding. As the transmission ended, Antilles run away, and Praji once more ordered him to stop. The conversation is exactly the same in both sources. The difference is only in the perspective: the radio is from Rebel POV, and the novel is from Imperial POV, repeating the conversation and identifying the Imperial commadner as Praji.
- Just to clarify, then --- the radio drama depicts the first conversation ending and the second conversation beginning? Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes. And the novel too. And the matching lines are the same in both sources. Kinda strange that in the novel, the Devastator detects the signal at the beginning of the first converssation, but Praji doesn't tell it to Antilles until the the Tantive IV begins accelerating. These paragraphs could not be sources to only one of the sources, because some details, like the identity of Praji or Antilles ordering acceleration, are unique to one or the other source. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- That's fine then. Sorry for assuming that you had misinterpreted it. Menkooroo 08:07, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
- Yes. And the novel too. And the matching lines are the same in both sources. Kinda strange that in the novel, the Devastator detects the signal at the beginning of the first converssation, but Praji doesn't tell it to Antilles until the the Tantive IV begins accelerating. These paragraphs could not be sources to only one of the sources, because some details, like the identity of Praji or Antilles ordering acceleration, are unique to one or the other source. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Just to clarify, then --- the radio drama depicts the first conversation ending and the second conversation beginning? Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Maybe I was too detailed here. Praji detected the signal and ordered Antilles to stop and prepare for boarding. As the transmission ended, Antilles run away, and Praji once more ordered him to stop. The conversation is exactly the same in both sources. The difference is only in the perspective: the radio is from Rebel POV, and the novel is from Imperial POV, repeating the conversation and identifying the Imperial commadner as Praji.
Tag and Bink are dead is non-canon and its info should go in the bts rather than under an ambig tag in the main body.- Here's a great example of how to do it if you need some tips. You can write it in an Out-of-universe present tense style. Menkooroo 02:22, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
- TCSWE canonized Greenly and Otuana as legendary Rebels, whose legends are disputed by historians. IMO, any parts of the comics that don't go againt other sources are ambiguously canon.
- All of the Tag & Bink comics are 100% non-canon. The CSWE entry canonizes the fact that they're rebels --- but that's all that it canonizes. It doesn't overturn the infinities labels on the front of the comics. Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Moved to BTS. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- All of the Tag & Bink comics are 100% non-canon. The CSWE entry canonizes the fact that they're rebels --- but that's all that it canonizes. It doesn't overturn the infinities labels on the front of the comics. Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- TCSWE canonized Greenly and Otuana as legendary Rebels, whose legends are disputed by historians. IMO, any parts of the comics that don't go againt other sources are ambiguously canon.
- Here's a great example of how to do it if you need some tips. You can write it in an Out-of-universe present tense style. Menkooroo 02:22, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Halfway done! The rest to come soon. Menkooroo 05:12, March 8, 2011 (UTC)
Search for the droids: who arrived to change the garrison in the city of Mos Eisley,... Is there a missing word here? Did they change places with the garrison? Help me; I'm confused! :D- Fixed.
I want to ask: Are there any good quotes in Tinker that could be used as the leading quote of the article? Anything that he says to reflect on his life, or that sums up his personality or his career or something? If there is, I'd recommend using it and moving the current leading quote down to the currently quote-less Battle above Tatooine. The leading quote doesn't need to be a film quote for a film character, and the current leading quote doesn't say much about Praji as a person.- Done.
- Good stuff. Just want to ask one more: Is there any additional quote that could work for personality & traits? Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- I've found one. Not the best, but reflects his loyalty to the Empreror. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Good stuff. Just want to ask one more: Is there any additional quote that could work for personality & traits? Menkooroo 07:11, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Done.
Can you give just a touch of context on the Battle of Yavin? Something to relate it to the earlier events would be great, like "which saw the Rebels destroy the Death Star based on information they found in the stolen plans" or something.- Done.
If Tinker establishes that Praji had a face-to-face encounter with Palpatine, can you put that in the bio during the Operation Shadow Hand stuff? Mention that he met the Majesty in person?- Done.
There's a bit more info from the bio that I think you could add to Personality & traits: Choosing which warlord to follow based on who would best carry out the mission of the New Order; enjoying destroying the skyhooks of his political enemies.- Done.
Your question about the filming info below: George Roubicek's article indicates that it's from The Men Who Built the Empire. If you moved the Ref [25] that's currently in that paragraph to after "Just north of London", I think it'd be A-OK.- OK
- Sorry, just to be clear --- Everything from "Although he was not credited" to the end of "Just north of London" should be sourced to The Men Who Built the Empire.
- It was clear. It seem I didn't saved my last edit. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Sorry, just to be clear --- Everything from "Although he was not credited" to the end of "Just north of London" should be sourced to The Men Who Built the Empire.
- OK
There's some additional info from George Roubicek that would be at home in the bts, such as Praji's lines being dubbed by an American actor.- Added.
- This info hasn't been added...
- Added again. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- This info hasn't been added...
- Added.
The first sentence of the third paragraph of Inconsistencies: I'd recommend moving this sentence to the first half of Behind the scenes (before "Inconsistencies"), as it's not an inconsistency, but more of a note on the development of the character over the years. Sticking it at the beginning of the second paragraph (the one about Tannon Praji) would be a good fit, I think; you should also add that The Empire's Finest: Who's Who in the Imperial Military was the first source to name him "Nahdonnis."- Done.
- Actually, nothing below "Personality and traits" has been changed. Did you maybe forget to press "save" on an edit?
- Yes, I've forgot. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
- Actually, nothing below "Personality and traits" has been changed. Did you maybe forget to press "save" on an edit?
- Done.
I recommend dropping the picture of the Dark Horse ANH adaptation. It really crowds the end of the article with images, particularly because it's directly beneath the previous image. Just one image of an alternate depiction is fine; the one from the Droids comic does the trick.- Removed.
- See above.
- Done.
- See above.
- Removed.
- And... that's all! Very well-done for a first FAN. Spectacularly researched across a broad variety of sources. You really did your homework to ensure that the info was comprehensive and complete. I'm really impressed; bravo! Menkooroo 04:31, March 13, 2011 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review and for the kind words :) Darth Morrt 18:16, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
What is the source for Captain Kosh being the commander of the 37th Detachment? All the sources say that he was the commander of a local garrison. This does not necessarily mean the 37th.QuiGonJinn(Talk) 16:38, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
- 37th removed. Darth Morrt 10:25, March 28, 2011 (UTC)
most of the Devastator's troop complement was filled with the soldiers of the elite stormtroopers of the 501st Legion The last part feels kinda excessive. I'd suggest leaving out "the soldiers" bit.- Done. Darth Morrt 21:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
Which "actions" of the Desert Sands prompted Luke to go with Ben? Please elaborate.- Done. Darth Morrt 21:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
After the Battle of Endor, which saw the Empire splinter into various warring factions This currently reads as if the Empire splintered during the battle itself, which is not actually true. You also need to establish that Palpatine died during the Battle of Endor. Otherwise, the bit about the Empire splintering and the Emperor returning later doesn't quite make sense.- Done. Darth Morrt 21:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
A little bit of context on the Rimmers in the P&T, please.- Done. Darth Morrt 21:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
The end of the biography implies that Praji retired from governorship after the fall of Coruscant in the Yuuzhan Vong War. If this was the case, then the New Jedi Order era should be added to the infobox.- Done. Darth Morrt 21:06, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
- That's it. Good job. QuiGonJinn
(Talk) 18:58, March 29, 2011 (UTC)
Cav-Man
Nahdonnis Praji himself had a child, a daughter named Tyla. I think the placement of this, in the section that describes his birth and before detailing his childhood, is a little off. I would look to place it later in the timeline when it is established that he is an adult.- Done. Darth Morrt 22:43, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
He also ordered the Desert Sands sandtrooper detachment, who arrived to change over the troopers garrisoned in the city of Mos Eisley, to begin searching for the escape pod immediately. I know what you mean to say, but there is some awkward wording here. Please rewrite for clarity.- Reworded. Darth Morrt 22:43, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
I'm a little uneasy about the use of "His Immortal Majesty" to describe Palpatine. It just seems too POV-ish to me. What source gives him that title?- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 12:47, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
- It's from the Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Praji, Striking from the Shadows section. Darth Morrt 22:43, May 16, 2011 (UTC)
Jinzler
Unless I am mistaken, the Battle of Kaikielius is conjecturally-named, and so should not be directly linked to in the introduction. What do you think?- Fixed.
In 10 ABY, Praji led the Imperial forces that conquered the planet Kaikielius. TTSP mentions that Praji led the Shadow Hand Fleet during the battle, so could you please mention the fleet somewhere.--Jinzler 10:26, May 19, 2011 (UTC)- Done. The Shadow Hand Fleet had a concurrent battle on Metellos, so I think Praji led only a portion of it. Darth Morrt 16:25, May 19, 2011 (UTC)
Tm
in Later career: "His higher position led him to realize that the cloned Emperor's theocracy was not the Empire he had joined decades earlier, so he requested Kaikielius as a fief in order to leave the military." is the term "fief" used in source materials? I wasn't familiar with it previously so I had to do some research if it was typo, but I assume its not.–Tm_T (Talk) 10:07, June 4, 2011 (UTC)- Yes it is. " he requested it [Kaikielius] as a personal fief." Striking from the Shadows (3-10 ABY) section of Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Praji. --Darth Morrt 16:11, June 4, 2011 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 18:17, June 8, 2011 (UTC)
I didn't find the source of the BTS's filming info. Help, please. Where should I search? Darth Morrt 21:16, December 31, 2010 (UTC)
- Just wondering, does Rise and Fall present a different version of Praji and Antilles's conversation, or does it simply mention that there was the conversation, without specifically stating the exact words? Hanzo Hasashi 03:42, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Forget this, previewed the book on Google Books, text is same as radio drama. Hanzo Hasashi 03:47, March 11, 2011 (UTC)
Vote to strike JangFett's objections (Inq only)
Jang recently left the Wook for an indefinite period of time, and his objections seem to have been fixed for a while. (I'll get to reviewing the article myself soon.) CC7567 (talk) 06:51, May 5, 2011 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 19:09, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
1358 (Talk) 20:04, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
Grand Moff Tranner (Comlink) 20:05, May 14, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:05, May 14, 2011 (UTC)