Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Kem Monnon/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Kem Monnon/Legends

  • Nominated by: Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 03:30, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Nicely done.— Samonic ChissAscendancyCanonSymbol 09:39, 16 May 2022 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 18:31, 26 September 2022 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Commander Code-8 Hello There! 09:29, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote OOM 224 11:57, 30 December 2022 (UTC)
  5. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 16:23, 1 January 2023 (UTC)
  6. LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno (Talk) 20:03, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
  7. RogueWhistler (talk) 22:48, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

Object

UberSoldat
  • Alliance Corps of Engineers missing from infobox.
  • "The Alliance Corps of Engineers was considered done after Echo Base was open for habitation and the primary routine was established." Considered done with what? Did they disband?
  • "One night in their shelter, Monnon shared a story he had heard, where a group of failed Imperial stormtrooper cadets had set up a poaching operation where they guided big-game hunters to hunt and kill wampas, with the fourth expedition resulting in the wampas killing all but two hunters, with the surviving ones killing each other instead of facing torture by the wampas." Run-on sentence, please split it up.
  • Does Illustrated Star Wars Universe specifically point out the resemblance between his uniform and the cloud car pilots?
  • The Blogspot link does not mention Monnon, please fix the referencing in the BTS.
  • Reviewing note: Please see my copy-edit. Among the things I had to fix were grammar, comma usage, passive voice, proper usage of that/which, image captions, missing image sizes, ellipses, and links UberSoldat93 ClanMudhornSignet-Redemption (talk) 17:04, 24 September 2022 (UTC)
    • Saw copy-edits, and addressed objections. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 17:15, 24 September 2022 (UTC)
Luca
  • I think that gravitonic lifters and massdroids could both use a page.
    • Links created, will work on creating pages.
  • Since we can't expect the reader to know how a "Bespin Wing Guard's Storm IV Twin-Pod cloud car pilot's" uniform is, I think you could slightly expand the description, maybe mentioning the color, the boots, and the helmet.
    • It's not necessary to literally say when the articles for Wing Guard should include.
  • (review note) Please, make sure to be ok with my copy-edit, and good work! LucaRoR Sigil of House Serenno (Talk) 15:25, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
Whistler
  • Should there be context for "Mon Calamari"? RogueWhistler (talk) 21:13, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
    • Nope, it's pretty normal for just references to an individual's species when referencing them in other articles, without literally explaining the species, if that's what you asked. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 21:16, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
  • "On another day, Monnon and others explored flatlands north of the base, where they saw the landforms caused by steam spraying out of underground springs near deep volcanic sources." I found this sentence a bit unclear, are the "landforms" and "flatlands" the same? If not, I'd go with "...where they saw landforms...", without the "the". RogueWhistler (talk) 21:13, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
  • The physical description at the end of the P&T felt like a very abrupt transition to me, I feel it might fit better at the start of the Biography, i.e. "A Human male with blond hair and fair skin, Kem Monnon..." RogueWhistler (talk) 21:13, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
    • Going to look into the first and second, but saying first that it's precedent to include physical description in personality and traits and not in biography. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 21:15, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
      • That's where I've generally seen it, too, but I couldn't find anything in the Layout Guide to say it had to be. RogueWhistler (talk) 21:28, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
        • For reference, the hair and skin color are physical traits, hence going into a "personality and traits" section. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 21:31, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
          • I can see the logic, why you'd prefer to keep it in that section, it just doesn't seem to be required either way as far as I can tell. If it's just subjective, I'll strike it. RogueWhistler (talk) 22:48, 12 January 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 00:03, 13 January 2023 (UTC)