Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Jes Gistang (Redux review)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Reduxed Featured article. The result of the discussion was Featured article status kept. Please do not modify the page.

Jes Gistang (Redux review)

  • Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 115.
  • Date added: June 1, 2020

(+4)

Support

  1. Inqvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 07:32, June 11, 2020 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote I think we're ready to go. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:20, 5 November 2020 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote MasterFredCommerce Guild(talk) 04:15, 5 November 2020 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Nice work. Imperators II(Talk) 19:54, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

Object

Anil
  • As Imperators stated on the Inq review page, P&T needs to have its grammar thoroughly checked.
  • Is the bit about the action figure in BTS actually notable? If so, I don't think the current sources mention the Comic-Con at all. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:10, June 2, 2020 (UTC)
    • Nah, probably predated it actually being released. Removed the Comic-Con bit. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:06, June 10, 2020 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Some preliminaries. First, ref 2 really doesn't work in its current form because NEC doesn't mention 137 ABY. You should instead a find a source that does.
    • I've put it back to the comic itself since it says "approximately 137 years after the Battle of Yavin" and that's literally the definition of ABY. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:53, August 18, 2020 (UTC)
  • I understand why someone at one time chose the current infobox image, because it's the best close-up shot we have of her, but it's kind of unusual that we're opting to depict her with her eyes closed. There are other not-terrible options from the comic with her eyes open. I'd suggest the one panel where she's saying, "They can't be serious!" Her face is partially obscured by the glove, but you get a perfect straight-on look at her, and her eyes are open.
  • The comic never says she was "born on the planet Corellia"; she merely states that she's Corellian. She easily could have been born elsewhere but still be of Corellian heritage. This should be revised.
  • In accordance with Wookieepedia:Layout Guide#External links, I'm going to call for the removal of that Comic-Con link as not being of "critical relevance." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:00, August 11, 2020 (UTC)
  • Going back to the Corellia objection, we don't actually know she's from that planet, correct? So this should be removed from the infobox too.
  • Since the "Battle of Borosk" is apparently a conjectural title, this article should avoid referring to it as a formal name like it currently does in the intro. Please revise. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:18, September 14, 2020 (UTC)
  • This definition of the Imperial Mission is not found in Legacy 4. You'll need to find another source that can support this: "an organization designed to spread Imperial influence by helping beings of the galaxy."
  • This also does not appear to be reflected anywhere in the comic: "During her career as a stormtrooper, Gistang became a respected, talented soldier"
  • Nor does it say this exactly: "and eventually was put in charge of the squad's heavy weaponry." She's never shown to be "in charge" of anything, nor does she wield "weaponry," a term suggesting plural weapons. She just wields the "big gun." This wording should be revised. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:25, September 15, 2020 (UTC)
    • Reworded the weaponry bit, but Harkas specifically says "Jes Gistang is in charge of the big gun." Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:21, September 23, 2020 (UTC)
  • Going back to the intro, this wording is not accurate, or at least unsupported. The story does not say she "decided to join" the 407th "through the Imperial Mission," which is unlikely anyways, since realistically she was probably assigned to the unit after being placed in the military outside of the Imperial Mission, which itself is not indicated to be military: "...she decided to join the 407th Stormtrooper Division through the Imperial Mission..." This will need to be revised.
  • Nor does the story say she was a "young woman" when she joined the Imperial Mission. That's one interpretation, but it's not supported by the story. The fact is, we don't know how old she is. She could be in her 40s, for all we know.
  • Going along with my previous objections to the Bio, this entire sentence is completely unsupported by the story: "Put in charge of the heavy weaponry in Joker Squad, she quickly found a home among the 407th, proving a talented and responsible soldier."
  • I don't think any of this is supported by the story either. She doesn't give him guidance or tips or sympathy. All she does is sit down with him for a moment and run through the different personalities of their unit. "She guided Trask and gave him tips to help him survive among the stormtroopers and even sympathized with the man." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:03, September 24, 2020 (UTC)
    • Removed all the Trask stuff from the intro. A couple of conversations doesn't really merit a mention outside the biography. Green Tentacle (Talk) 20:45, October 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • For starters in the Bio, the first subsection title, "Stormtrooper," is rather uninspired. I'd like to see something a little more compelling there for readers to be drawn into.
    • Any better? It's hard to think of anything particularly inspiring. Green Tentacle (Talk) 21:24, October 19, 2020 (UTC)
  • I feel like it would add a little something extra to include in the first Bio quote Trask's question, "What's your story?" and then her full response from "Not much to tell." through "Some of the others have better stories." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:09, October 13, 2020 (UTC)
Imp
  • I'm seeing consecutive identical references in "Joker Squad". Recommend checking the rest of the article for this. Imperators II(Talk) 19:01, 5 November 2020 (UTC)

Comments