Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Iteration (Jaden Korr)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Iteration (Jaden Korr)

• Nominated by: QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:44, August 21, 2014 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Jaden Korr, Part 3/3.

(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^(Talk) 03:01, January 17, 2015 (UTC)
2. Cade Calrayn 18:02, July 22, 2015 (UTC)
3. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:19, August 16, 2015 (UTC)
4. Those artificial memories of his template remind me of both Toy Story and Night at the Museum. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 01:04, August 19, 2015 (UTC)
5. Emperor Jarjarkine Senate Hall 03:19, August 21, 2015 (UTC)
6. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:05, August 23, 2015 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• I need some context on the Community.
  • Added.
• Context on Mother.
  • Added.
• Why did the One Sith want Soldier?
  • Addressed.
• You've got some huge chunks of text, put in some paragraph breaks.
  • Addressed.
• I think you should identify the space station as Mother earlier than you do, preferably the first time it actually appears in the bio.
  • Addressed.
• Outside of the stuff about his appearance, there isn't much substance to the P&T. You just repeat some of the events that happen in the bio, without really going into what those events say about the character. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 02:08, January 1, 2015 (UTC)
  • Changed it a bit. Can't do much beyond that, as the stuff about him being uncomfortable about dying to replace Korr is speculation coming from Nyss Nenn's POV, and so it might or might not be true. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:53, January 15, 2015 (UTC)

Cadeth

• Are you sure that the Iteration was created on Korriban? If not, that bit needs to go from the infobox. Cade Calrayn 19:11, July 11, 2015 (UTC)
  • Addressed.
• Who was involved in the skirmish aboard the supply ship? You just mention the skirmish and then that Syll had been killed. Cade Calrayn 19:20, July 14, 2015 (UTC)
  • Addressed. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:29, July 18, 2015 (UTC)

Toprawa

• Preliminary objection: I'd like to see the Biography subsectioned. See what you can do there. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:21, July 30, 2015 (UTC)
  • Addressed. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:21, August 9, 2015 (UTC)
• I support referencing the BTS (which is currently left optional), but if you're going to do so, you need to reference it comprehensively and correctly. That entire paragraph cannot be sourced strictly to Riptide.
  • Fixed.
• Reviewing note: You used the word "fact" six times in the second P/T paragraph. You'll notice from my review that I was easily able to tweak these sentences to avoid using that word at all. Much like saying someone "managed to" do something, phrasing like "despite the fact" is redundant and should be avoided whenever possible. Every occurrence is a fact. The fewer words you can say something in, the more effective your writing will be. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:37, August 12, 2015 (UTC)
  • All right. I'll try to avoid this mistake in the future. Thank you for the copy-edit and the review. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 18:12, August 14, 2015 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 19:25, August 23, 2015 (UTC)