Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Hume Tarl/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Hume Tarl

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 12:00, July 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:Another Warfare....... It'll probally be one of the last though.

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:44, September 7, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Plagueis327 (talk) 23:01, September 14, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Never thought Warfare would expand his story. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 21:04, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Goodbye Warfare, hello Far Orbit? Menkooroo (talk) 03:45, September 17, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Winterz (talk) 19:23, October 6, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 21:27, October 8, 2012 (UTC)
  7. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 22:11, October 9, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Hume-an male
  • In the intro: Context on Cindel Towani.
    • Done.
  • Can you mention where in the galaxy the raid on the Tantive IV takes place?
    • Better?
  • "After the spacer asked about the details of Whisper's betrayal, Tarl simply stated that due to the secrets she knew she could no longer be trusted, remaining vague." I think it's good to get across the fact that Tarl was vague on the details, but this line-by-line account of the conversation reads pretty play-by-playish. Can you see about condensing it?
    • Take a look.
  • The first sentence of "Deployment and fighting on Endor" kind of backtracks chronologically by saying "After six years, he had seen action..." Can you present it as going chronologically forward? ie, something like "Throughout his six years, he saw action..." ?
    • Better?
      • Changed "had seen" to "saw." For chronology!!
  • "with a Rebel ground force attempting to knock out the Endor shield generator bunker that protected the Death Star with a deflector shield so the Rebel fleet could knock the Death Star out." This sentence is kind of run-on and sort of reads as if the bunker is protecting the death star so that the Rebel fleet can knock it out.
    • Better? 501st dogma(talk) 12:33, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
      • Yeah, definitely better. It's clearer now, but it's still pretty long and contains a lot of commas. Can you split it into two sentences?
        • Done. 501st dogma(talk) 01:16, September 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • "the sergeant did not identify the Rebel as the Jedi Knight..." then he figured that "there had to be more Rebels on the moon as one Jedi could not take out an entire biker patrol". Wait, but he didn't know Luke was a Jedi!
    • My mistake. Tarl did not identify the Rebel as Skywalker, not a Jedi. Changed.
  • Can you include the "work" field of {{WebCite}}? The name of the larger website on which the endnotes can be found.
    • I add Tumblr to the Publisher field, as that's what I have been doing on my other noms.
  • "He mixed in elements from the other movies" --- which ones? The Star Wars movies? And can you be more specific about the elements that were mixed in?
    • Better?
  • Some of Jason's comments in the endnotes make me wonder if there's anything more you can add to P&T: "he blithely declares that most native species beg or steal, is chillingly casual about when and why the Empire wipes them out..."
    • Better? There is not actualy much in Tarl's interview that says that. It is only hinted at realy.
  • Jason also goes into detail about how Tarl is somewhat of an unreliable narrator; that seems worth including in the BTS.
    • Detailed.
  • If a source doesn't really add anything new to the character, and especially if it's just a (Picture only), then it doesn't really add any value to the article by being mentioned in the BTS --- sentences like "Tarl was also pictured in The Official Star Wars Fact File's issue 30" don't do much more than turn the BTS into a rehash of the "Sources" section. Picking and choosing what's noteworthy is important, ya know?
    • Axed.
  • The intro uses the destruction of the first Death Star as a reference point, but the bio just uses the date, 0 BBY. I wonder if the date might be better for the intro, too; the reference to the first Death Star's destruction kind of comes out of nowhere. In any case, I feel like they should probably be consistent with each other. Menkooroo (talk) 01:56, September 14, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done, thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 19:02, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • Unless the source says he's apart of Tempest Force, it's not confirmed. You currently have it sourced to his CCG card, which does not mention anything about Tempest Force.
    • If I may add in, he is confirmed to be part of Tempest Force in Warfare. So it is canon, just confirmed by a source different to what it's cited to. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 04:08, October 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • Fixed.
  • The "subtracting" of him joining Tempest Force is speculation man. Unless he was actually apart of the unit (find a source), then it would seem likely to only say "he was apart of the unit during the year 4 ABY." Try not to 'stretch out the truth' based on the given information. JangFett (Talk) 02:17, October 1, 2012 (UTC)
    • Not sure what you are getting at. Warfare states he served in Tempest force for 6 years. Read the quote. 501st dogma(talk) 21:36, October 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • You did not source it to Warfare, you sourced any mention of Tempest to his CCG card. Thank you for correcting it. JangFett (Talk) 14:38, October 10, 2012 (UTC)
Cav
  • Tarl joined the Imperial Army unit Tempest Force - Is Tempest Force Imperial Army or Stormtrooper Corps? The infobox says Stormtrooper, intro says Army. Also, the fact that Tarl is clearly a Stormtrooper seems to indicate that it should be Stormtrooper Corps. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:43, October 3, 2012 (UTC)
    • Addressed. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 20:28, October 3, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:39, October 10, 2012 (UTC)

  • Thanks go to StarsiderSWG for the info on Galaxies, Hanzo and Borsk for answering questions regarding Hume, and of course Master Jonathan for his copyedit. 501st dogma(talk) 12:00, July 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • I have a question: have you checked the adaptations and other sources for Tarl? A lot of minor movie characters do appear in the adaptations, and I have a hard time believing he is not in at least the PhotoComic. I have asked Menkooroo for that sort of help with a ton of my movie character nominations, if you need any help. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 15:04, July 30, 2012 (UTC)
    • With help from Menkooroo, it is done. 501st dogma(talk) 14:48, August 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • One more question: Have you checked if he had an entry in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia? If not, you can go to Forum:Entry requests. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 17:08, August 2, 2012 (UTC)
    • I'll save the trouble with the CSWE: he's not in it. There is an entry for a stormtrooper named Tarl, but it's a different one, not this one. —MJ— Holocomm Thursday, August 2, 2012, 17:30 UTC
  • What I've learned is that you should also write about Tarl's equipment, either in personality and traits, or in its own section. I usually just include it in the personality and traits. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 18:00, September 13, 2012 (UTC)
    • Added. 501st dogma(talk) 19:06, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
  • I personally don't think the adaptations are particularly worth mentioning, and the first paragraph would be better just talking about the film and then the CCG. This is sort of an extension of Menkooroo's objection, I think he probably also meant adaptations when he said sources. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 20:32, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
    • Took those out. 501st dogma(talk) 20:42, September 15, 2012 (UTC)