Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Goethar Kleej

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Goethar Kleej

  • Nominated by: NAYAYEN 19:29, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: So I herd you liek Gotalz.

(4 Inqs/4 Users/8 Total)

Support

  1. Cones or no cones, he's still cool to me. ~ SavageBob 02:10, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
  2. You don't have to come and confess. We're lookin' for you! We gon' fiiiiiind you. Menkooroo 02:46, October 28, 2010 (UTC)
  3. We're coming for you.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:05, November 24, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 10:05, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Grand Moff Tranner Imperial Department of Military Research (Comlink) 21:45, December 14, 2010 (UTC)
  6. 1358 (Talk) 19:45, December 16, 2010 (UTC)
  7. Inqvote --Eyrezer 22:21, December 22, 2010 (UTC)
  8. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 22:46, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Prepare to be gored by my headcones...
  • Context on "the Franchise" in the intro?
    • Added, and in the Franchise's first mention in the body.
  • "Despite suffering the severing of his sensory cones..." This bit's placement makes it sound like the Franchise severed his cones. Did they? Either way, perhaps make it explicit how he lost them in the intro.
    • Noted that it was "his abductors" who did it.
  • There's a bit of blow-by-blow in the bio section. Specifically, I think the information about Goethar's son's fight with the Night-Soarer and so on can be eliminated with the simple note that the son, too, advanced to the finals. The next two sentences could be summarized a bit, too, by simply saying that Kleej convinced Carrick to help him, while Heiroglyph stumbled upon the acted to stop it. Otherwise, looks like a baaaad mamma jamma. ~ SavageBob 20:02, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • The fight with the Night-Soarer actually involved Goethar, not Aubin, so I'd rather leave it as is. As for the next part, Carrick already wanted to help, this line is needed to retell that Kleej (almost) acknowledged that he needed Carrick's help. I've moved the mention of Hierogryph eavesdropping to the later bit where it is more relevant. Hopefully my reasoning makes sense :P Thanks for the review, Bob. NAYAYEN 21:35, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
Trayus
  • I'll have more later, but for now I would suggest making it clearer that it was Chantique who severed his cones. That's one of those common-sense deductions that's needed for this article to be comprehensive. But good, otherwise. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 19:35, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
    • After reading through issue 46 again, I agree that it is a reasonable inference to make and have adjusted the article accordingly. Thanks for the review Trayus, I await any further objections you have. NAYAYEN 20:22, October 26, 2010 (UTC)
The Crucible is climbin' in yo windows, they snatchin' yo people up
  • As far as I know, you should never link inside of a quote (the pipelink to Aubin in "him").
    • I've moved the context of it being Aubin to the attribution.
  • When Goethar orders Zayne to protect Aubin, can you give a litte more detail and note that he did it with threats and intimidation?
    • Done
  • When he's exchanging punches with Spikes, is he still on his swoop bike? If so or if not, can you note it? I'm having trouble picturing the scene here.
    • I just noticed a small panel which is actually showing him jump from his swoop bike directly at Spikes. All noted.
      • Looks good! Can you split the sentence up, though? It's pretty long and run-on, with two instances of "before" in it.
        • Broken up now. NAYAYEN 13:37, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Give context on Jervo Thalien.
    • Added
  • Are Goethar and Aubin on the same swoop bike at the start of the final round? You mention that Goethar has to transfer Aubin after his own swoop is damaged, and it's not really clear why.
    • Clarified.
  • After Zayne smuggles the Kleej's to the spaceport, isn't there a whole scene there that could be briefly summarized? Where Zayne and Goethar talk for a bit before Kleej notices Jarael's tattoos?
    • Yes there is and I don't know how I ignored it.
  • Can you give a bit more detail in the final sentence of the bio? Like... note that it was Jarael's tattoos that gave her away? And that Kleej berated Zayne for hanging out in that kind of company as he fled?
    • Done
  • First sentence of p & t: Can you explain just how Kleej being good at swoopdueling would get Aubin out of the fighting?
    • It was more a hopeful assumption by Kleej, its been noted.
  • bts: Can you mention the year Dueling Ambitions came out?
    • Added
  • Which predicament of Aubin's do you mean? Can you give some more detail of what JJM meant in the last sentence?
    • JJM implies it more than anything, I've tried to clarify from what little Miller actually says.
  • Is the image caption of the Night-Soarer picture accurate? Doesn't the Night-Soarer die in the semi-final duel, before Kleej escapes? Menkooroo 07:04, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • That one is, confusingly, a different Night-Soarer. The semi-final one in Issue 40 has brown skin, the one in the image in the final, Issue 41, has blue skin. Thanks for the review Menkooroo, let me know of anything else you see that needs addressing. NAYAYEN 10:09, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
      • Great job! Since, after I reviewed the article, you discovered a few comic panels that you had originally missed, the only other thing I'll ask is that you look through the three Dueling Ambitions issues once more to ensure that there's nothing left that you missed. Let me know when you've done that. Cheers, and thanks for giving Gotal Week its only FA nom! ^^ Menkooroo 11:29, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
        • I've gone through them and detailed his fourth win a little more as well as the meeting with Jarael. NAYAYEN 13:37, October 27, 2010 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Can you establish some sort of timeline at the beginning of the intro and the bio?
    • Not really, we aren't given any hint at all as to when he was kidnapped and all. The only thing I could do is add "sometime before 3,963 BBY...", but then saying "in 3,963 BBY..." a few lines later seems a bit odd to me. Your call. NAYAYEN 08:14, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
      • "Around the time of the Mandalorian Wars," maybe? The conflict isn't directly relevant to him, but it will at least provide some indicator. CC7567 (talk) 08:33, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
        • That'll work. I've added it in, and a little bit of context in the bio mention. Thanks, NAYAYEN 09:23, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • 'Tis all. Nice work. CC7567 (talk) 04:55, November 27, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 22:46, December 22, 2010 (UTC)

  • Some of the minor competitors (the Night-Soarer, the Mandellian) should probably have their own articles, but I'll leave it to you if you want to link and stub them. ~ SavageBob 20:02, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • I've redlinked them and will create the articles soon. NAYAYEN 21:35, October 25, 2010 (UTC)
      • Good deal! Mandallian Giants are pretty cool. I may have to FA them one of these days. :) ~ SavageBob 02:10, October 26, 2010 (UTC)